MEAD

Hey there guys. Since I'm not known here, mostly cause I can't help anyone yet (I'll get to that in a few), I'll introduce myself. I'm 18, a male, a virgin, that leads me right into it. Now you might be sick of virgins around here, but I'll still annoy you anyway . So the deal is that I have a girlfriend who I've been with for some months, I've known her for years, and I love her very much. She is the first person I have been involved sexualy, so everything that happens is basicly brand new. Which leads to every experience to be quite "stimulating" for me, I'll just go ahead and say that I havent lasted very long, this is concerning handjobs and blowjobs. I've been very excited everytime we are together, pretty much constant hard-on. So I am chalknig this up to inexperience. But I can't be totaly satisfied with that, of course I am a man and all things about my sexuality I must question. So onto bigger things, it's getting to the point where I, idealy ,would like to have sex with her, she has had one partner before. Now I'm taking this very seriously, and she has to be the most understanding person in the world. I really am waiting till im sure about this. But there is part of me that is having irrational fear about the whole thing. I'm putting most of it on my sexual performance thus far, which has been rather speedy, lol. I definitely know I need to be with her much more before I have sex with her and shes good with that. I think the fear is that I'll never be able to hold back long enough for enjoyable sex. See, if I can put that fear to rest I can get closer to being with her like I want. And if you tell me I'm not ready at all right now I'll believe and trust ya, just give me some advice if you do. Thanks for your time, I'm open to all comments, just your own experiences could help me out too. Thanks.

CityOfAngels

Only YOU know if you're ready to have sex or not. Some have sex out of pleasure, some out of love, and some out of both. If you just want to get it on, then by all means do so. If you want it to be a sacred moment, make sure she's worth sharing that moment with you.

VERY IMPORTANT: If you go through with it, act as if you do it all the time; not to impress her, but rather to stay calm throughout the session.

Flyguy

We were all virgins once.....

Anyway, you're not maintaining an erection for that very reason. You're a virgin. You're experiencing sexual feelings for the first time and you're unsure of what to do and sometimes you get too excited and you lose it. It's nothing to be ashamed of. We all went through it. Now, you say that she's the most understanding person in the world. That's good because both of you can work through your inexperience together since she's only had one partner before. Both of you need to relax and just move slowly with each other and do what feels comfortable. MY wife and I are still experimenting and we've been married 8 years so far so it tales time. Just go slow, don't rush it and stay safe.

livingfossil

Now or later, the first time is only going to take 30 seconds of your life. I think the trick is to not stop at the first spasm: make a day of it. There's more to sex than orgasm, so set up a nice evening, or whatever, and work at pleasure for a couple hours. Anyway, the bane of enjoyment is embarassment, so just try not to be self-conscious, and enjoy yourselves.

Oh, and, use protection.

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Never anything witty.

MEAD

Ha, thanks guys. What I think I'm looking for is the reassurance that I don't have to be great at it the first time, and that I'll get better and last longer. Oh yeah she's the best person ever, she understands so much and we talk about it openly. I definitely need more time, i'll get there, but hearing more about it since I'm so new is comforting. I dont want to get too crude with her and kill any romance so I'll keep the questions here, lol.

Neptune

If she is as understanding as she sounds, she will understand if the first time (or first half dozen times) don't live up to both of your expectations.
As most have said already, take it slow and tarp up to be safe.

Have a wank beforehand, it will help you last longer during the main event

QuasiMojo

If at all possible....spend the ENTIRE day in bed with your love.
the entire day.
all day.

and...if it's possible.....the next day too.

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AzAbOv ZoBeLoE

SpikeQX99

Hey, it happens... Just relax and enjoy yourself. Talk to her, laugh, and just overall have a good time with it. You'll get more comfortable with it over time, and by then.. Who knows where it'll take ya!

Not to get too in depth, but my first time, I couldn't finish... So that's kinda a bummer too. But by the end we were both kinda forcing it I think..... Really lost the mood...

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I'm so in love with a girl... she is my everything

Rlyss

Good advice here. My first time was in the early evening, the sky was overcast and it was about to rain heavily. We turned the lights off, opened the curtains and the whole room was bathed in blue light. We spent from about 3pm until way past midnight, and she was very understanding with me. I think I'm one of the few people that can say my first time was how I wanted it.

I think I rambled a bit, but my point is that there are some pressures you can't do much about (coming too soon, or not at all, etc.) and some you can deal with, like spending all day naked in bed with her, having sex, fooling around, just lying down and staring at the ceiling and talking, or facing each other, that sort of thing. Don't let your first time be rushed.

tecoyah

Remember one important thing......the more sex you have, the better at it you will become(as far as pleasing your partner). Men will always have the"was it good for you" question in the back of your mind, but with practice, it will become obvious that your "attention" was well appreciated.

Remember also.....the tongue is a wonderful tool.

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Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha