windaelicker

I am convinced that various birth control pills/patches/etc owe some of their efficacy to the fact that lots of women have no sex drive whatsoever when they are using said birth control methods.

Sorry for the outburst. Extremely frustrated lately. My wife stopped taking the pill a little over a year ago, and we had some of the best sex of our marriage, all last summer. The reason she stopped taking the pill is we wanted to have a baby. By the end of summer, we were pregnant.

We have a healthy, happy baby boy, and we are thrilled to have him in our lives. Nothing would change that.

But we have not had decent sex more than twice in the last year. Now my wife is back on the pill, and it is near impossible for me to get anything going with her, and there's no way in hell she's going to be the one to initiate anything.

I am just curious as to others' experiences with this sort of thing. I know that my good (female) friend said she hasn't used the pill in years because of this. Instead she uses condoms... and I can't relish the thought of using condoms again... my wife and I have not used condoms since we were first together almost ten years ago.

Thanks!

Averett

I'm not on birth control so what I'll say here is all what I've heard/read from others.

Yes, some birth control will kill your sex drive. So what she needs to do is go back to her doctors and talk to him/her about it. Change pills/patches/whatever. Try different doses.

What you need to understand is that pills/patches/etc change the hormanal balance in a woman. This can cause all sorts of problems like loss of sex drive, weight gain, over all change in attitude. It's not always good, and it's not always bad.

Theres a thread in the Ladies Lounge (you're more than welcome to look there, just don't post ) about a pill that supposedly increases sex drive. But it seems there are crazy side effects which your wife might not want.

But basically, she should get back to her doctor and try and figure out if there is anything that he/she can do about her lack of sex drive.

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the_marq

Maybe her being exhausted for caring for the baby has something to do with her lack of a sex drive. You seem quick to blame the pill where there is very likely many other factors that could be affecting her.

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#3 in a series

maleficent

Have you talked you your wife about what you are feeling? Not the frustration part of it, that would just put her in the defensive but just talk about how she might be feeling about your sex life, or lack there of?

Try going out for an evening, drop the kidlet with someone you trust and won't worry,a nd just go out with the two of you -- and see if that helps.

If you don't want to worry about birth control, there are permanent steps you can take to prevent it, I'm sure your wife would be grateful to not have to be on birth control pills anymore.

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Jim Kata

I hate birth control. I would rather it go back to sexing twice a day with a condom then once every two or three weeks (if I'm lucky) without.

pinkie

The pill sucks! It changes your moods, your personality and your sex drive!

Pull and pray, use a condom, spermicidal jelly, IUD, the sponge, or just stick with oral, anal and simultaneous masturbation! ANYTHING is better than all the side effects that go along with the pill.

I couldn’t even get MYSELF off on the pill. Same with SSRIs. Not worth it.

Flyguy

I've had the same situation. My wife got off birth control about 4 months ago and the sex can't be beat! Just last week we had sex six times, I bought my wife a dildo casue she's hornier than fuck while I'm at work, (something she's never thought about before) and she actually likes doggystyle now. I'm in heaven. I never want to use birth control again.

MSD

There are a few things to try.

First: talk about it. Ask if she thinks the pill is killing her sex drive, or if it's exhaustion from having (and taking care of) a kid, and a hectic schedule. If that's the problem, see if you could set aside some "personal time" where the two of you get together and have fun like you used to, even if you're not having sex. If her sex drive is diminsihed bcause of stress, but she still wants to do it, the anticipation will build and she'll be more likely to be able to enjoy it.

Second: she should go to her doctor (you'll be at home taking care of your son, if you find any way of getting around that, you might want to consider going with her) and see if she could switch to something with a different combination of hormones. This will probably solve the problem

Third: comdoms aren't the only way to prevent pregnancy. I've heard too many horror stories about IUD's to reccomend it as a first choice (although it's always the bad stuff you hear, not the good.) You can try the diaphragm, female condoms (I've heard rumors that you can't tell it's there, even while giving her oral, although I tend to doubt that,) and whatever else I'm forgetting. Don't go for the shot if she reacts badly to the pill, that just means it's going to take another six months to get bck to normal if it doesn't work like you want it to.

windaelicker

Thanks for the insights.

I should have prefaced my rant with more details. There has always been a sharp contrast in her sex drive on birth control versus not on birth control. It has been frustrating for her as well.

As far as the baby, I have been doing my fair share in caring for him. I do not feel this is something that is strictly "a woman's duty" or whatever, so I help out as much as I can. I guess I have to give things more time. We have pretty open communication in general, but this can be an awkward subject.

Again thank you for the insights, and it's good to chat with you all.

xxSquirtxx

I know it's frustrating. Is your wife still nursing? I know that my sex drive was really diminished while nursing. It was bad enough I had the kid sucking on my tits, then hubby wanted a turn. I didn't take the pill, though, since I nursed. But we did use nonoxynol-9 vaginal inserts. He hates condoms (and I can't blame him). We just had to be careful with the oral sex -- that stuff tastes nasty.

As for the sex drive, I'm sure it's temporary if she can get off the pill.

http://www.who.int/reproductive-heal...onoxynol9.html

CHollman82

Yeah, it is frustrating. Either you use a condom and don't even know when it starts or you spend a fortune for a pill that pretty much guarantees you aint getting sex more than once a week. Just remember, we are trying to cheat nature, the very notion of a sex drive is entirely for baby-makin'

windaelicker

Connies.... ick. Will have to see how things go. Anyone use non-latex (forget what the alternative is called) condoms? I have to think that the latex is what makes naughty bits taste nasty after.. although the lube that comes on 'em can't be much better. I am wondering about non latex condoms and a good lube... any insights are much appreciated.

Redlemon

Durex Avanti is the one you are looking for. No latex and no N-9, which also tastes nasty. The Trojan non-latex has N-9, so we went with the Durex. My wife likes the feeling of them.

cjayemail

my girlfriend was horny as ever once she got on

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