the420star

Well i could draw out this whole story and make it like a 10 minute read, but i will keep it short in hopes that more people will give me an oppion. This girl and i were really really good friends and ended up hooking up last year for about 2 months. It was decided that we wouldnt be seeing eachother for now, meaning no label. All the sudden one day she told me she wanted to be back with her ex, and we couldnt be togeather like that (She never ended up getting back with her ex, she just sort of slept with him a few times). Needless to say, this wasnt the only way that she changed towards me. A girl who had been one of my close friends was now anything but. So things got worse and worse, we began to get in arguments and it just became ackward to the point we couldnt be around on another. So i cut it off because it was just not doing anything for me in terms of happiness. About 6 months passed without any desire for me to talk to her, yeah i thought about her but i really didnt care about "fixxing" things. So my birthday was about a week ago and she said happy birthday to me and said she wanted to mend things between us. I also want to throw in there, if i dont try to talk to her she dosnt talk to me, after telling me she wants to fix things. So my question to all is one, why does she want to mend things when things got so bad between us, and secondly is it realy worth my time to bother with it.... i am just looking for some oppions dont worry about not having the "right" answer. Let me know if anyone need clarification on anything.
My new comments are at the bottom of the thread.... thanks as always

__________________
No, they arnt breasts, they are personalities, because its ok to like a girl for her personalities.

avhg1

I think there are very few relationships that involve sexual encounters that can ever go back to a good friendship. I'm not saying that it's impossible, but there are so many factors from past and future feelings that it almost always gets messy again. Unfortunately, it doesn't only involve you and her; you also have all future jealous boy friends of hers and girl friends of yours. I think you would be setting yourself up for more frustration.

Mike

ruggerp11

So you were hook up buddies and friends too? Or were you just hook up buddies? If she was a friend before then she could have a desire to repair that part of your relationship and leave the hooking up alone.

Or she could have tried to get back with her Ex and reaized that either it wasn't going to happen or at least not in the way she wanted. In that case you were the fall back choice. I am not jaded, but without a lot more info its hard to figure out her motives. I would just be cautious (sp?) and feel it out over the phone before meeting her. You can always say you're 'busy'

Also how did things get worse and worse? Were you reading more into the relationship than what was actually there and when it got 'worse' it just wasn't going the way you wanted? I know you were concise for our sakes but throw out a little more info so we can get a better feel on what you're asking.

__________________
Patriotism means being loyal to your country all the time and to its government when it deserves it.
--Mark Twain
Do What makes you happy
--Me
BUT!
"Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness" - Chuang-Tzu

SilverScooter

ok, LOTS of stuff could have happened here, and i think its worth a closer look, if not to figure out where you two stand, then to figure out what the hell sparked this desire of hers.

example: maybe she saw that what she wanted in her ex wasn't as real as things were with you, she could have realized, by comparison, that you are a better person and she didn't realize what she was missing.

example: maybe she knew she made a mistake, and after these past 6 months, she tried to get back what you had at the very beginning: your friendship, your relationship, your mutual trust(s).

example: you were a good kisser and she likes good kissers.

it can really go either way, and until you find out what made her come back to you, you'll never know whether or not its a good idea to "fix" things.

if all she wants is her friend back, give her the benefit of the doubt for just a little while and find out whats making her tick before you make any drastic decisions, there's no use getting hurt again.

keep us updated if it doesn't make you too uncomfortable.

Prince

Seems to me she went through the list and is now back on you. Somebody needs to fix her car/computer/life, and she's trying the ice to see if you might be up for the job. Do yourself a big favor, and pass.

__________________
Who is John Galt?

the420star

***UPDATE***
some people asked for an update so they could help me further with this situation. We went out to coffee, not as wierd as i thought it would be, mainly b/c i talk non stop but whatever. Seeing her i realize i have gotten over a lot of the stuff but i am still very sexualy attracted to her. Things are going really no where we shoot the shit and chat, i mean the only real news is things arnt going any direction. i feel like i need to break some kind of news to her, like "hey bitch you really fucked me over last year" but i dont see myself doing that. the only thing she said to me was a big speech about wanting unabtainable guys, like ones with gfs stuff like that. Anyway any new insites on this or any new course's of action. Thanks, this board is super helpful and makes my life a lor easier

__________________
No, they arnt breasts, they are personalities, because its ok to like a girl for her personalities.

KirStang

I don't know, but fickle girls are generally pretty problematic. I'd say pass, and don't try to further this relationship much more...

Unless you're *absolutely* sure you won't fall for her again, but it seems like you're still pretty strongly attracted to her.

Invention

Maybe she just wants to be friends? It is possible to be friends with a girl and not sleep with her you know... my best friend is a girl. We went out for a while but when we realised that friends was much better and after alot of trouble, arguments and make-ups we're better for it...

StickODynomite

I agree with what was said above.

__________________
"The human mind is like a parachute, it works best when open."