la petite moi

Couldn't resist!

Last thing I said before sex was:

AW SEEEEEEX SEEEEEEEEEEEXXX!!! :snuggle snuggle:

denim

"Y'know, that bra strap is really in the way."

stevie667

*insert inane babble here*

the speech centers of my brain are the first to suffer from lack of adequate blood flow...

Redlemon

Hey... you awake?

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I can't read your signature. Sorry.

Charlatan

What is that you're wearing?

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"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Averett

Yes

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Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

Bill O'Rights

Puhleeeeeeeeeeeze

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"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

"Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus

It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

absorbentishe

Shall I get the toys out?

Or, I don't care if you are sleeping...

Munku

Best yet! That's too funny..

Redgirl

"Oh, all right. But make it a quickie." (He always wants to have sex just as I'm ready to go to sleep!)

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Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

duck0987

Do you have a condom?

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"I've got a lot of friends who don't know how to cook, which I could never understand because not knowing how to cook is like not knowing how to fuck." --Robert Rodriguez

Mango

Wanna fuck?

SabrinaFair

I said: "Now this is a one time thing, one friend helping out another friend..."

He said: "If we're going to do this, we're going to do it right"

And we did.

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"With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."
-Desiderata

feelgood

Some things said before

"Wwhat the fuck are you--oh"
"Lets hurry up"
"But what if your parent hear us?"
"Make it quick"
"We're out?"

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Looking out the window, that's an act of war. Staring at my shoes, that's an act of war. Committing an act of war? Oh you better believe that's an act of war

fallenangel

"Good morning"
"Good night"
"Are you as horny as I am?"

The list goes on and on i'm afraid...

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all I wanna do is - give the best of me to you

la petite moi

Him:
Do you really wanna have sex?

Me:
Are you sure he won't hear? (a family member sleeping a foot away)
Here...let me do it.
Cold!!! (lube)

iamnormal

"All I have is a twenty"

Rodney

The wife and I have a slogan we shout out before sex when something goes wrong:

TRUE SEX!

A "true sex" moment happens when:

- You both get into position, look up, and see all three housecats on the edge of the bed, watching intently.

- The missus is using a diaphram and, when she lays down, the damn thing pops out of place and flies across the room (we changed methods)

- The boys at the condom factory decided to have a joke and made a condom which was fused shut on the inside, halfway down. And there it is, stuck on the tip and refusing to be pulled down. And it's THE LAST GODDAMN CONDOM IN THE BOX.

- I lose all manual motor control and am somehow entirely incompetent to disengage her bra catch.

Sometimes I shout it out. Sometimes she does. Sometimes we're of one mind and shout it out together. Anyway, it helps anybody from getting too steamed up about a few minor bumps in the road to connubial bliss -- and there are _always_ bumps.

la petite moi

OMG, yeah, I dunno, but I think my boyfriend got a couple of those defect condoms, because that's happened to us.

And I think we were making out or something and his cat started watching us.

rideough

Last thing I heard was" That's not gonna fit in my...*gag*!!!"

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i may or may not be on acid right now....

World's King

"We should be naked now."

"I can't believe I'm doin' this. I just met you yesterday."

"No, my girlfriend won't mind."

"Yes, my girlfriend is gonna join us."

"Mom?"

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

PayUp

or got change for a twenty...

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Born to Lose.

Lunchbox7

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

raeanna74

Lol. I am going to have to remember this one. Good one.

Last time we had a True Sex moment was when the kid just happened to wake up as we were heading to the bedroom while stripping our clothes off. I called out to hubby. "Start without me."

Aside from the standard lines "Ya wanna play." and the like, I think the most unusual lines have been said while we were swinging. Like "Well, How do we get started." Said by a 40 yr old woman.

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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

SpikeQX99

"Wanna see my tan line?" Me: "uh, sure"

Me, being a relative rookie to the whole sex world, says, "what are you doing? She says "showing you my tan line", "But you're taking off your pants?" She says, "we can't fuck with our pants on can we?"

I can be really dumb sometimes, and it's always the inopportune times it seems

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I'm so in love with a girl... she is my everything

saltfish

Says to cat on bed: "Umm, kitty, you're taking up some valuble realestate."

-SF

platypus

"Your parents won't be back 'til when?"

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Out the 10Base-T, through the router, down the T1, over the leased line, off the bridge, past the firewall...nothing but Net.

nanofever

"Of course I love you"

/one ticket please

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I'm leaving for the University of California: Santa Barbara in 5 hours, give me your best college advice - things I need, good ideas, bad ideas, nooky, ect.

Originally Posted by Norseman on another forum:
"Yeah, the problem with the world is the stupid people are all cocksure of themselves and the intellectuals are full of doubt."

ruggerp11

Can we go twice tonight?

incoherent drunk mumblings

well...

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Patriotism means being loyal to your country all the time and to its government when it deserves it.
--Mark Twain
Do What makes you happy
--Me
BUT!
"Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness" - Chuang-Tzu

Seer666

I was once asked before hand, the Stupid Queastion of all time by some bimbo I picked up at a party while we were on our way to one of the back bed rooms.
"Will you still respect me in the morning?"
Seeing as I was slightly buzzed, and in a good enough mood I didn't care if I got laid or not, I deisided to tell the truth.
"I don't even respect you now."
Instead of getting pissed and storming off like I expected, she stopped, looked up at me, and said
"Well, it can't hurt your opinion of me then." before draggin me into the bed room and fucking my brains out. To this day I have no idea how the night managed to work out that way....

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Bad spellers of the world untie!!!

I am the one you warned me of

I seem to have misplaced the bullet with your name on it, but I have a whole box addressed to occupant.

phlox

"You know, I think you're really fucking annoying..."

kalashnikov

then there's the old TRUE SEX moment of the "blow job belch" by the girlfriend which made both of us laugh too hard to continue for a while.

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'Charmant, respektlos, und immer betrunken.'

khandel2

Do you want me to stop?

...as I'm starting to go down on her :-)

cameroncrazy822

Hey girl do me a favor and put the brake on your wheel chair so you stay still for me...

Slauncha Man

I can beat that. My ex was riding me and after having finished, she got off of me and let out a loud queaf right onto my dick.

As far as pre-sex words: "So shall I get Don Juan (a vibrator) out of his house?"

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-Slauncha

khuct

"I think we should go into the bedroom"

BigTruck1956

"you ready for inside time?"
hehehehe

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so much to do, so little time.....at least i aint bored.