I need romance advice, i'm in my own cheezy soap opera. - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Rococo · 03-08-2004, 03:30 PM

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toiletraccoon · 03-08-2004, 03:41 PM

I understand what youre saying about other girls looking more attractive everyday (i've been with my gf for three and a half years now) but you really don't know much about her friend. The relationship you have with her is based on lust and not too much else right now. Its possible she might be the one but you won't know that until you get to know her better. If youre that unhappy, you should call things off with your girlfriend and get to know her friend better before you jump into anything. Just my two cents, hope it helps.

Mephex · 03-08-2004, 03:48 PM

What the hell are you saying ?

You've been with a woman for 6-7 years now ? You don't want to commit, you have reservations, you give in to yourself and mess around with her friend ?

Geez man.

Do you love your girlfriend ? Can you honestly see yourself marrying her ? In all honesty, I don't know many guys that didn't get cold feet in one way or another before getting married. But you really need to evaluate what you have on the fire before looking somewhere else.

This other girl, she just got out of a relationship, she sees you as a distraction, and that's all you'll be. Do you really expect to build it into anything more ?

I'd seriously evaluate what you have going for you now with your current girlfriend, and if that's not working, move on before getting into this whatever-it-is with her friend.

It's her friend. You're also going to have to deal with the woman you've loved for all those years and the way she chooses to react to the truth. For no matter what, she'll end up finding out.

Good luck.

Mojo_PeiPei · 03-08-2004, 03:50 PM

I'd say if you care for your GF, you'd square things away with her first. Her friend aside, am I wrong in assuming that you had the issues with your girl before her friend came in town? If you really cared about your current GF you wouldn't run off to her friend without talking to her about the issues between you two, and again it sounds like the friend isn't so much the issue.

Secondly how well do you know this other girl? I assume you know her through your GF. But if she lives on the other side of the planet, are you going to be willing and able to not only leave your GF and your Life with her, and fly off to be with the other girl? Even if you squared up with your girl, would it still be the best thing for you personally to do?

Rococo · 03-08-2004, 03:52 PM

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diddagirl · 03-08-2004, 04:48 PM

If you think you and this so called "friend" of your g/f's are gonna hook up again any time soon....you have to be fair and respect her enought to either tell her or break it off with her. You owe her that at least.

toxic515 · 03-08-2004, 06:24 PM

Sounds to me like you need to define your values and act with integrity. Things don't just happen, you made a conscious choice. Why? you have a contract with the person you are with, whether spoken or unspoken, and if open relationship isn't part of that you flat out broke the contract. I'd say a person of integrity wouldn't have gotten that far, but I also say it's never too late to start. You have an obligation to her, and to yourself to be honest. be honest with yourself too. It doesn't matter whether you're honest with us, but with yourself, it's an absolute necessity. You will continue to make bad decisions if you do not have your values clearly defined in your head and live with integrity. (that means living up to your values for the sake of this discussion.) I cannot imagine making a reasonable decision without first knowing what it is that I value and WHY.

Tomservo · 03-09-2004, 02:03 PM

Okay, my take on this is simple:

Dump your girlfriend. Immediately. If you've been together this long without actual long-term commitment, and suddenly you want her hot friend, you are SERIOUSLY looking for a way out.

End it. It'll never withstand the test of time with the doubts you very obviously have. If she was the one for you, you may still have porn thoughts about other ladies, but you certainly wouldn't feel overpowering thoughts for her friend.

You gotta be happy- and obviously, you're not. but if she has treated you right till now, you gotta treat her right from here on out, that means being a MAN about it and not taking for some long-term ego ride.

03-08-2004, 03:30 PM	#1 (permalink)
Rococo Insane	I need romance advice, i'm in my own cheezy soap opera. ...... Last edited by Rococo; 07-08-2004 at 05:47 PM..

03-08-2004, 03:50 PM	#4 (permalink)
Mojo_PeiPei Kiss of Death Location: Perpetual wind and sorrow	I'd say if you care for your GF, you'd square things away with her first. Her friend aside, am I wrong in assuming that you had the issues with your girl before her friend came in town? If you really cared about your current GF you wouldn't run off to her friend without talking to her about the issues between you two, and again it sounds like the friend isn't so much the issue. Secondly how well do you know this other girl? I assume you know her through your GF. But if she lives on the other side of the planet, are you going to be willing and able to not only leave your GF and your Life with her, and fly off to be with the other girl? Even if you squared up with your girl, would it still be the best thing for you personally to do? __________________ To win a war you must serve no master but your ambition.

03-08-2004, 03:52 PM	#5 (permalink)
Rococo Insane	..... Last edited by Rococo; 07-08-2004 at 05:48 PM..

03-08-2004, 04:48 PM	#6 (permalink)
diddagirl Addict Location: Calgary, AB	If you think you and this so called "friend" of your g/f's are gonna hook up again any time soon....you have to be fair and respect her enought to either tell her or break it off with her. You owe her that at least. __________________ "Is it so small a thing to have enjoyed the sun, to have lived long in the spring, to have loved, to have thought, to have done." -Matthew Arnold

03-08-2004, 06:24 PM	#7 (permalink)
toxic515 Addict Location: Texas	Sounds to me like you need to define your values and act with integrity. Things don't just happen, you made a conscious choice. Why? you have a contract with the person you are with, whether spoken or unspoken, and if open relationship isn't part of that you flat out broke the contract. I'd say a person of integrity wouldn't have gotten that far, but I also say it's never too late to start. You have an obligation to her, and to yourself to be honest. be honest with yourself too. It doesn't matter whether you're honest with us, but with yourself, it's an absolute necessity. You will continue to make bad decisions if you do not have your values clearly defined in your head and live with integrity. (that means living up to your values for the sake of this discussion.) I cannot imagine making a reasonable decision without first knowing what it is that I value and WHY. __________________ Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.

03-08-2004, 03:41 PM	#2 (permalink)
toiletraccoon Upright Location: beautiful NJ	I understand what youre saying about other girls looking more attractive everyday (i've been with my gf for three and a half years now) but you really don't know much about her friend. The relationship you have with her is based on lust and not too much else right now. Its possible she might be the one but you won't know that until you get to know her better. If youre that unhappy, you should call things off with your girlfriend and get to know her friend better before you jump into anything. Just my two cents, hope it helps.

03-08-2004, 03:48 PM	#3 (permalink)
Mephex Psycho	What the hell are you saying ? You've been with a woman for 6-7 years now ? You don't want to commit, you have reservations, you give in to yourself and mess around with her friend ? Geez man. Do you love your girlfriend ? Can you honestly see yourself marrying her ? In all honesty, I don't know many guys that didn't get cold feet in one way or another before getting married. But you really need to evaluate what you have on the fire before looking somewhere else. This other girl, she just got out of a relationship, she sees you as a distraction, and that's all you'll be. Do you really expect to build it into anything more ? I'd seriously evaluate what you have going for you now with your current girlfriend, and if that's not working, move on before getting into this whatever-it-is with her friend. It's her friend. You're also going to have to deal with the woman you've loved for all those years and the way she chooses to react to the truth. For no matter what, she'll end up finding out. Good luck.

03-09-2004, 02:03 PM	#8 (permalink)
Tomservo Crazy Location: Los Angeles, CA	Okay, my take on this is simple: Dump your girlfriend. Immediately. If you've been together this long without actual long-term commitment, and suddenly you want her hot friend, you are SERIOUSLY looking for a way out. End it. It'll never withstand the test of time with the doubts you very obviously have. If she was the one for you, you may still have porn thoughts about other ladies, but you certainly wouldn't feel overpowering thoughts for her friend. You gotta be happy- and obviously, you're not. but if she has treated you right till now, you gotta treat her right from here on out, that means being a MAN about it and not taking for some long-term ego ride.