Zorvox

Well one of my mates today... told me that he has been spending "quality time" with my ex, taking her to the pictures etc and spending time with her "just as close friends"

She doesn't speak to me anymore - I tried to fix things, but nooooooooo, guess it was a vicious break up.. I tried to fix things and stuff..

He told me that they have been doing things together, because he wanted to help her etc..

How should I take this?

it really pisses me off... but I am sort of glad that he is doing that, well I dunno really.. confused (and sorta drunk heh)

She is moving a bazillion miles away next year, and he said that nothing more will become of it.. but we know how things go when people spend "quality time" with one another, he is like 5 years older than the two of us..

I dunno how to go about it, Febuary i'm meant to be going to a concert with him and stuff, but on the other hand, I don't want to I want to tell him to get fuckd and stuff... but I Dunno how I should take it.. I know that they can do what they want... but it just feels wrong..

Someone tell me how I should feel and i'll try to adapt

SparklingDot

First of all, don't think about stuff like this when you're drunk. Anything you come up with can't be good.

Let them be friends. Let them deal with each other. You could even go so far as to be happy (or indifferent) about it, whatever their connection is. Don't let her change things between the two of you. And you can always ask him not to talk about what they do. And she's going away soon anyways, right?

__________________

17 seconds is all you really need
- Smashing Pumpkins

Zorvox

yeah she's moving 3 states away, and yeah..

he said no use starting anything cos she's moving

It just feels so wrong, and yeah.. alot of weird / bad stuff been hap[pening lately... I take a step forward and people drag me back 2 steps with the actions they do

It's like they don't care

Cynthetiq

friends don't bang friends ex's.... or even entertain the idea

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

Zorvox

he said they are only "close friends" and she needed to be cheered up or some shit..

she lives miles away.. like 60km drive, so he's most likely driven down there, got her driven 75km to town, then taken her to dinner / pictures then back home?

I dunno, she broke up with me over msn and he told me over msn

But he's 5 years older..

It's so fucked, never felt so bad before and i dunno what to do

Cynthetiq

nothing you can do... so what. move on.

and wait, if he's your friend what about "cheering" you up... or your tits aren't big enough?

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I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

Zorvox

LOL!!!!

She's beautifull.... seriously im not just saying that, I had to defend myself and her soi many times because peopl would try to do shit... he's probably thinking that he can get a bit out of her...

It's just so fucked, he's the I.T. administrator at my school... we connected, became mates workout toigether, get pissed together... and now this?

It's so fucked man, I want to bash him and stuff... it's just so confusing... if anything becmes of the two of them etc.. then I will kill him literally, So much shit has been happening lately, my mates father died, I broke up with my gf, then this shit, now I have a fractured jaw cos some lil faggots decided to hit me and stuff ( i didn't fight back because I was scard I would lose control ) I found out about 1 month ago, that I ma a father (from 2 years ago - my ex did a runner 4 states away and now has finally decided to come down and stuff ) its just hit after hit.

So scared that everything is going to escalate into worse things

Cynthetiq

eh.. if you weren't going to fight to defend your own life, why fight over a piece of tail that's not even going to come back to you.

move on. as the guy in the store says,"Can I help the next customer please..."

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

Zorvox

Yes.. I will move on, but I stil lthink about her, I thought I had moved on.. I see so many couples and just think of us... but knowing that my mate is doin all this shit with her is fucking shit, we are meant to be mates yet he does this shit?

Am I over reacting or what?

Cynthetiq

no you are being human... i broke up with a girl over 12 years ago. I'm happily married now... sometimes I see someone who reminds me of her, and I wonder...

and meant to be mates? wtf does that mean? friends is friends period. if someone does something that isn't "friendly" then they aren't friends are they?

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

Ratman

Sober up, move on.

__________________
The difference between theory and reality is that in theory there is no difference.

"God made man, but he used the monkey to do it." DEVO

Zorvox

Hmmm, I am soo forgiving seriously, I don't awnt to be, but I can't help but feel that I need everything to be AOK

Like I know that I should tell her to get fucked about being such a bitch and immature about it all, and that I should tell him to get fucked too, but I just can't bring myself to do it... and If I ever said any of that ot them, they would be like WTF?@#?!#?! ASIF SAY THAT U DICK WE WERE IN THE RIGHT ETC ETC, then I'd belive them

jw_toyboy

Zorvox, I really feel for you mate, sounds like your going through a tough time - hang in there things will get better.
Firstlly I think you should forget about your mate, I dont think he is your mate at all. Sounds like he's just taking advantage of your ex, at a time when she may be pretty vulnerable. Whatever you do though, DO NOT KILL HIM.
Secondlly you really just need to move on I think. Go out find some real mates and/or a good g/f.

Zorvox

HEH, He's also the I.T. Administrator at my college, he's 5 years older than us... and well yeah.. it just keeps getting worse, next thing I know they will be together.. which would practically kill me

I still have 1 more year of college ahead of me, and yeah

OFKU0

First of all, and forgive me for being blunt but drop this chick and then get a life. You wanna pine for her over and over? While you're sitting at home alone feeling sorry for yourself remember, she's probably getting the shit fucked out of her but good,and loving it. C'mon mate, get with the game. You only live once.

__________________
" In Canada, you can tell the most blatant lie in a calm voice, and people will believe you over someone who's a little passionate about the truth." David Warren, Western Standard.

Zorvox

Heh, I just spoke to this guy's EX and she's like, It only took him about 1hr to get with me after he broke up with his other ex (who he was with for ages) and she's like "they are most likely already together right now, I know how he works" and stuff, it's just getting worse... I thought that "spending quality time together" was bad enough, but "TOGETHER" ???

My step brother came up to my house last night with some mates in his car and was like "point us in the direction" and we'll fix him up... everyone is so like, really pissed off at this whole situation, everyone knew how i felt towards her and knew that my heart was broken over it all and that it was like she was just jumping on it to make herself feel better or some stuff..

Then he had the audasity to say to me "She was only happy with you three times that she can remember" and then he was like, I took her to the pictures and she said that, it was the first time she had laughed properly in ages.....

So I dunno, she thinks they are together.. Im thinking not to jump to conclusions... but:

His Ex:
he didn't say mucn
Me:
Well what did he say
His Ex:
i did most of the abusing
His Ex:
apparently they like each other
His Ex:
but they know they can't be together
His Ex:
he thinks hes done nothing wrong to you
His Ex:
or me
Me:
WHAT THE FUCK
His Ex:
he thinks they're "just good friends"
His Ex:
yeah i know what that means

Well, this is just lovely, I am fucked over by my EX and am being fucked over by my mate..

So now I am going to call him - which i doubt I should do, but I need to release some anger..

yournamehere

I disagree.

While I think a certain time element should be respected, why should someone be off limits for life just because they once had a relationship with a friend? You would need a very wide circle of friends to respect that kind of thinking and still find people to date over time, and it would only get worse every year!

He's your friend - be happy for him.
She's your ex - she must be pretty special for you to ever have been involved with her, so be happy for her, too.

Life's too short for that "bros before hos" kind of frat boy thinking. It's one thing to try to steal a friend's girlfriend, but once the relationship is over, what's the big deal? My "best friend" married my "one that got away" over fifteen years ago (a year after we broke up) and to this day they're two of my best friends. I married a girl that made me forget all about her, and you will, too, someday.

Be happy for them and move on. The view is better from the high road.

And good luck with getting on after that string of bad luck.

__________________
If you want to avoid 95% of internet spelling errors:
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Zorvox

Well I just rang him back, cos I wanna speak to him in person, and it appears that they were both in the car driving to the doctors (to see if she's pregnant - to me) cos yeah.. condoms broke and shit happens so yeah.. he lied again, he said that she was a home, so yeah.. she said that they ain't gonna get together, and they aren't together.. she stayed at his place last night after they went to a party.. she stayed in his sisters bed.. so this has all just escalated to back stabbing and betrayail...

Seriously, it's just hit after hit and lie after lie...



I think I need to get some professional help I feel so bad

irateplatypus

from what i've seen on my brief 21 years on this planet, your friend is either getting play or is doing his best to get it. i mean seriously, who drives that far and spends that much money to comfort a friend's X unless they have ulterior motive.

don't think you have to destroy your dignity to keep either of these 2 as friends. you seem like you've fallen in w/some shady characters... move on man.

__________________
If you will not fight when your victory will be sure and not too costly, you may come to the moment when you will have to fight with all the odds against you and only a precarious chance for survival. There may even be a worse case. You may have to fight when there is no hope of victory, because it is better to perish than to live as slaves.

~ Winston Churchill

sillygirl

Okay, I just kinda skimmed a lot of this, but shouldn't you be concentrating on your newfound FATHERHOOD instead of your ex, and your friend (I use that term loosely- I agree that your boobs just aren't big enough)? I mean, you're not gonna get anywhere with your ex, and that child of yours is gonna be around for a long time...

__________________

Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly-Rose Franken
....absence makes me miss him more...

Zorvox

Well ... me and "my mate" got on the piss together last night, and we discussed stuff, he was really sorry about it all and has realized what he did (he actually started crying full on) and said how he's fucking so many people over and he wonders why i wasnt bashing him and calling him names etc..

Then she rang, she was POSITIVE to being pregnant, she has arranged for an abortion on thursday.. then has agreed to see me on Thursday to talk about things (same day, so she is going to be really vulnrable which I will feel bad about... but it's the only time she will see me) On the phone she said that "I'm not keeping it, so it doesn't concern you" so she was practically saying that I have no involvement in the whole thing... he is paying for it, driving her there, she is staying at his place wed/thursday... then he will take her home on friday morning b4 he goes to work.. and he promised to me "I won't see her physically, in person anymore after this - it's for best, for me, for you, for her, for my ex, for my friends - I can't belive what I have done, I Just feel like she needs help now.. so I will help her, and I will still talk to her, just not see her" so yeah.. I belive him, he really wants to fix things...

SO things are looking up, but are looking down too - I guess we shall see what happens

Thanks for your help everyone, I think that things are going to be okay... I am a smart guy and I'm not going to say anything to upset her, even though I want to... but yeah ;(


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