Why Do You Love Me - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

bukaki22 · 10-15-2003, 09:22 AM

So my gf of 7 yrs says " why do you love me" - for some reason i cant think of a mushy valentines day card response -
What do you think she really means

dylanmarsh · 10-15-2003, 09:36 AM

I'd say she trying an old Jedi mindtrick on you. Either that or it may be that time of the month, she's feeling ugly/gross, and what's some reinforcement from her man that she's hot.

What did you say to her, by the way?

Kadath · 10-15-2003, 09:37 AM

My gf of 6+ years asks the same question. I tend to go with responses like "because you take care of me." Look at it as an essay question with no parameters whatsoever, and answer with whatever comes into your head and sounds good. There's no actual answer, so it's not like you can lie.

Averett · 10-15-2003, 09:42 AM

There are no right or wrong answers. I'm sure she isn't looking for something that Hallmark has put on a card. Tell her what's in your heart. If you love her because she takes care of you, that's great. If it's her ass, tell her that too! I'm sure there are many things that you love about her.

Sometimes we all just want a little reasurance. Sometimes it's nice to hear from the person that we're in love with just why they love us.

Redlemon · 10-15-2003, 09:43 AM

Take some time when you are apart and write down every littlie thing you can think of that you love about her; some will be serious, some mushy, and some funny. You can then dip into that list when she asks. Or, as I did, I just gave my girlfriend (now wife) the whole list (2 pages) at once for the overwhelming effect.

Holo · 10-15-2003, 09:48 AM

You should be ready for this kind of question

I love my gf becuase

She's loyal-she would never cheat and I know it

She thinks of me a lot (gets me things she knows I like when she goes out and I hardly ever ask)

She trusted me to raise her daughter as ours

She believes in our future despite heavy adversity we've faced

She's smart in a real-world way...I'm smart in an abstract way. We complement one another.

Her beautiful blue eyes.(other things don't hurt either

)

She's patient with my shortcomings

Just a few. Feel free to borrow if you need to.

erion · 10-15-2003, 10:14 AM

My wife and I just had our fifth wedding anniversary, our 8th year as a couple.

Why do I Love her?

She accepts me for who I am.

She only tries to change me enough to do alittle bit more housework.

She makes me laugh, out loud, several times a day.

We share everything. Chores, joys, sorrows, good days and bad days and all the days in between.

I can have an intelligent conversation with her on almost any subject.

She's conservative enough to piss off the liberals, and vice versa.

She's dead sexy.

She thinks that I'm dead sexy.

We can spend a quiet evening doing nothing and call it a good night, just because we were together.

She's the mother of my son, who also makes me laugh out loud several times a day.

What's not to love?

bukaki22 · 10-15-2003, 10:28 AM

thank you all most sincerely- i have a hard time with this stuff- i guess im just oblivious because most of this stuff is so true
thanks again

lurkette · 10-15-2003, 11:05 AM

Fishing for compliments? Trying to see if you have a reason or if you're just hanging around out of habit? Could be she just means "why do you love me?" out of curiosity.

ratbastid · 10-15-2003, 11:22 AM

I suggest you stop trying to come up with the answer you think she wants to hear, and just (drumroll please) answer the question. You do love her, right? So WHY?

RelaX · 10-15-2003, 01:54 PM

Just say:

"I don't... I'm just in it for the sex"

sillygirl · 10-15-2003, 03:37 PM

Sometimes we just like to hear it so we know it's real. We like to know that there's a reason we're loved, and what the reason is. When a guy can say something about his girl that lets her know he really does love her, it gives a girl warm fuzzies inside.......

Jedbeck · 10-15-2003, 05:08 PM

My fiancee does not have to ask my this question. More often than not I will break into song about the various reasons I love her. I am so weird sometimes.

sillygirl · 10-15-2003, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jedbeck
My fiancee does not have to ask my this question. More often than not I will break into song about the various reasons I love her. I am so weird sometimes.

Awwwwwwww

analog · 10-15-2003, 09:11 PM

if you have to think about it...why?
just talk from your heart, man! if it comes out sounding mushy, and you're not a mushy guy, then it sounds really fake. say what comes naturally when you think of her. after 6 years, i hope you know what that is!

darkallaround · 10-15-2003, 10:29 PM

this type of thing seems to be common. could it be that (most) women are instinctively insecure?

sillygirl · 10-15-2003, 10:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by darkallaround
this type of thing seems to be common. could it be that (most) women are instinctively insecure?

Quite possibly

-Anders · 10-16-2003, 05:01 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jedbeck
My fiancee does not have to ask my this question. More often than not I will break into song about the various reasons I love her. I am so weird sometimes.

I've been know to sing 'I can't take my eyes of of you' for a special girl

vveronica · 10-16-2003, 08:08 AM

What ever it is you want to say, or should say, you missed the window, The 5 second window to tell her. so your screwed. start buying flowers and practicing your apologies..

Redlemon · 10-16-2003, 09:45 AM

If you are still putting the list together, be sure to select from ALL of the following:

A good lover (sexual)
A good lover (nonsexual)
A good friend to you
A good friend to others
A good person

Probably some others as well.

shannon · 10-16-2003, 10:18 AM

she could be asking you because she doesn't know why you do, or even if you do. if so try to make sure she knows before she has to ask. you may also have to work on the fact that you had such little idea to why you love your gf that you had to post a forum for help. i mean, i'm not trying to be terrible here, but you have to appriciate the girl.

skysooner · 10-16-2003, 10:21 AM

Yes, be sure to include both physical and emotional. Saying she looks hot isn't going to cut it with someone that you have been with so long. Tell her what she does that makes you happy, but also include what you find very attractive about her as well.

Sparhawk · 10-16-2003, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Averett
If it's her ass, tell her that too!

Not sure if "Because of tat' ass!!" would be the most appropriate response, but definitely good as a tension breaker

Averett · 10-16-2003, 10:34 AM

It'd be pretty funny though, right?

I mean, I'd laugh. Of course I should hope that the guy could come up with something more than my ass....

raeanna74 · 10-16-2003, 10:49 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by darkallaround
this type of thing seems to be common. could it be that (most) women are instinctively insecure?

I tend to disagree. Media tends to affect how we feel about ourselves for one. Also - wouldn't you have a few depressing moments if you had hormones flood your system once a month without much warning and there was nothing you could do to resist their affect on you?

Everyone (Even men-you can't deny it) need reassuring every now and then. I know I have asked this very question when my SO at the time seemed like he was only interested in sex and we had NO conversation otherwise. It was a way to grab his attentiong, start a conversation and assure myself that he wasn't in it just for the sex.

Like has already been said - Just answer the question, please.

I liked the idea that RedLemon gave. I have kept a few notes of hubby's from when we were dating. Those notes told me some things he appreciated/loved about me. When I go back to look at those it connects me to him with that first love feeling once again. It would be an excellent move. You won't regret it.

10-15-2003, 09:22 AM	#1 (permalink)
bukaki22 Tilted	Why Do You Love Me So my gf of 7 yrs says " why do you love me" - for some reason i cant think of a mushy valentines day card response - What do you think she really means

10-15-2003, 09:37 AM	#3 (permalink)
Kadath Muffled Location: Camazotz	My gf of 6+ years asks the same question. I tend to go with responses like "because you take care of me." Look at it as an essay question with no parameters whatsoever, and answer with whatever comes into your head and sounds good. There's no actual answer, so it's not like you can lie. __________________ it's quiet in here

10-15-2003, 09:42 AM	#4 (permalink)
Averett Is In Love Location: I'm workin' on it	There are no right or wrong answers. I'm sure she isn't looking for something that Hallmark has put on a card. Tell her what's in your heart. If you love her because she takes care of you, that's great. If it's her ass, tell her that too! I'm sure there are many things that you love about her. Sometimes we all just want a little reasurance. Sometimes it's nice to hear from the person that we're in love with just why they love us. __________________ Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

10-15-2003, 09:43 AM	#5 (permalink)
Redlemon Devoted Donor Location: New England	Take some time when you are apart and write down every littlie thing you can think of that you love about her; some will be serious, some mushy, and some funny. You can then dip into that list when she asks. Or, as I did, I just gave my girlfriend (now wife) the whole list (2 pages) at once for the overwhelming effect. __________________ I can't read your signature. Sorry.

10-15-2003, 09:48 AM	#6 (permalink)
Holo A Real American	You should be ready for this kind of question I love my gf becuase She's loyal-she would never cheat and I know it She thinks of me a lot (gets me things she knows I like when she goes out and I hardly ever ask) She trusted me to raise her daughter as ours She believes in our future despite heavy adversity we've faced She's smart in a real-world way...I'm smart in an abstract way. We complement one another. Her beautiful blue eyes.(other things don't hurt either ) She's patient with my shortcomings Just a few. Feel free to borrow if you need to. __________________ I happen to like the words "fuck", "cock", "pussy", "tits", "cunt", "twat", "shit" and even "bitch". As long as I am not using them to describe you, don't go telling me whether or not I can/should use them...that is, if you want me to continue refraining from using them to describe you. ~Prince

10-15-2003, 09:36 AM	#2 (permalink)
dylanmarsh Sleepy Head	I'd say she trying an old Jedi mindtrick on you. Either that or it may be that time of the month, she's feeling ugly/gross, and what's some reinforcement from her man that she's hot. What did you say to her, by the way?

10-15-2003, 10:14 AM	#7 (permalink)
erion Psycho	My wife and I just had our fifth wedding anniversary, our 8th year as a couple. Why do I Love her? She accepts me for who I am. She only tries to change me enough to do alittle bit more housework. She makes me laugh, out loud, several times a day. We share everything. Chores, joys, sorrows, good days and bad days and all the days in between. I can have an intelligent conversation with her on almost any subject. She's conservative enough to piss off the liberals, and vice versa. She's dead sexy. She thinks that I'm dead sexy. We can spend a quiet evening doing nothing and call it a good night, just because we were together. She's the mother of my son, who also makes me laugh out loud several times a day. What's not to love?

10-15-2003, 10:28 AM	#8 (permalink)
bukaki22 Tilted	thank you all most sincerely- i have a hard time with this stuff- i guess im just oblivious because most of this stuff is so true thanks again

10-15-2003, 11:05 AM	#9 (permalink)
lurkette My future is coming on Moderator Emeritus Location: east of the sun and west of the moon	Fishing for compliments? Trying to see if you have a reason or if you're just hanging around out of habit? Could be she just means "why do you love me?" out of curiosity. __________________ "If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." - Anatole France

10-15-2003, 11:22 AM	#10 (permalink)
ratbastid Darth Papa Location: Yonder	I suggest you stop trying to come up with the answer you think she wants to hear, and just (drumroll please) answer the question. You do love her, right? So WHY?

10-15-2003, 01:54 PM	#11 (permalink)
RelaX Follower of Ner'Zhul Location: Netherlands	Just say: "I don't... I'm just in it for the sex" __________________ The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents. - Nathaniel Borenstein

10-15-2003, 03:37 PM	#12 (permalink)
sillygirl Newlywed Location: at home	Sometimes we just like to hear it so we know it's real. We like to know that there's a reason we're loved, and what the reason is. When a guy can say something about his girl that lets her know he really does love her, it gives a girl warm fuzzies inside....... __________________ Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly-Rose Franken ....absence makes me miss him more...

10-15-2003, 05:08 PM	#13 (permalink)
Jedbeck Crazy Location: Ohio, USA	My fiancee does not have to ask my this question. More often than not I will break into song about the various reasons I love her. I am so weird sometimes.

10-15-2003, 09:11 PM	#15 (permalink)
analog Banned	if you have to think about it...why? just talk from your heart, man! if it comes out sounding mushy, and you're not a mushy guy, then it sounds really fake. say what comes naturally when you think of her. after 6 years, i hope you know what that is!

10-15-2003, 10:29 PM	#16 (permalink)
darkallaround Tilted	this type of thing seems to be common. could it be that (most) women are instinctively insecure? __________________ the darkness it surrounds me, consumes my very soul. within this worthless existence i shall never be made whole.

10-16-2003, 08:08 AM	#19 (permalink)
vveronica Psycho Location: northern california	What ever it is you want to say, or should say, you missed the window, The 5 second window to tell her. so your screwed. start buying flowers and practicing your apologies.. __________________ ...We find ourselves in a struggle for our very right to exsist... We will not go quietly into the night... We will not give up without a fight...

10-16-2003, 09:45 AM	#20 (permalink)
Redlemon Devoted Donor Location: New England	If you are still putting the list together, be sure to select from ALL of the following: A good lover (sexual) A good lover (nonsexual) A good friend to you A good friend to others A good person Probably some others as well. __________________ I can't read your signature. Sorry.

10-16-2003, 10:18 AM	#21 (permalink)
shannon Psycho Location: Canada	she could be asking you because she doesn't know why you do, or even if you do. if so try to make sure she knows before she has to ask. you may also have to work on the fact that you had such little idea to why you love your gf that you had to post a forum for help. i mean, i'm not trying to be terrible here, but you have to appriciate the girl. __________________ "When I look down I just miss all the good stuff. And when I look up I just trip over things"

10-16-2003, 10:21 AM	#22 (permalink)
skysooner Registered User Location: Oklahoma	Yes, be sure to include both physical and emotional. Saying she looks hot isn't going to cut it with someone that you have been with so long. Tell her what she does that makes you happy, but also include what you find very attractive about her as well.

10-16-2003, 10:34 AM	#24 (permalink)
Averett Is In Love Location: I'm workin' on it	It'd be pretty funny though, right? I mean, I'd laugh. Of course I should hope that the guy could come up with something more than my ass.... __________________ Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.