Prince

Named after a Prince song this thread may be, but I actually am going for something here... Have you ever been a victim of "pussy control" -- aka women "rewarding" you with sex for doing something that is to their liking, or "punishing" you with the lack of it if they don't get their way.

There seem to be a lot of women out there who think this is a real and acceptable method of manipulating men that they supposedly love. Personally, I find that this type of behaviour is nothing but a really good reason to "recycle".

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Who is John Galt?

darkallaround

reward for things apreciated: yes

punishment by lack-of-pussy: no.

the key is to make them want it as bad as you do.

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the darkness it surrounds me, consumes my very soul. within this worthless existence i shall never be made whole.

toxic515

ooooooh, bad weapon there.. My wife and I have an understanding... That's NOT EVER gonna fly around here.. No means No, and NO whether because "I'm tired", or "I don't feel like it" is fine, but "no, because you pissed me off and you're not getting any until I get my way" is never acceptible.. Harsh reality, I love her, but there's enuff free nookie out there that I am not going to be manipulated with some sort of brute force..

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Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies
like a banana.

anti fishstick

no i don't manipulate like that because i don't appreciate when guys manipulate me either.

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And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~Anais Nin

Astrocloud

I'm so wrong... I've held back on sex when I was pissed... is this "dick control"?


Anyways I won't do it again.

Prince

That's the weird thing about me....even if my wife and I have been fighting, I'm still ready to get it on... Being mad at her does not seem to affect my libido much.

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Who is John Galt?

2thumbsup

That happens all the time, in reality, that is woman's most powerful threat.

fuhrerhat

My girlfriend is usually the one jumping on top of me; so I can't say that I have been this 'victim'.

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Shazbot

wry1

Just remember: recycling is good for the environment....at least, it's good for my environment! I've had a few "insignifigant others" who thought that way, and they found themselves out of my life so fast it made their heads spin.

Don't get me wrong: there are times when anger will play a part in a diminished sexual desire. I accept that wholeheartedly. If I'm in a relationship with someone, it's give-and-take on many levels; compromise is key. However, there is a mighty difference between a temporary dimishing of one's desires and using lack of sex as punishment. When that line is crossed, I find myself having a sit-down discussion with the girl. If it cannot be resolved, her ass is gone; if compromise cannot be reached, if no latitude is to be had from her, then I really cannot see myself putting any more time or effort into an obviously "losing" proposition.

Matrix2023

If they never hold out on sex, then you can't have the great make-up sex. So maybe its a good thing if they hold out on sex for awhile. That makes you crave it even more.

Prince

...or get it someplace else.

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Who is John Galt?

*Nikki*

I would never withold sex from my man because he did something I didn't like.

That would be hurting myself!!!!!

sexymama

Ditto! I had way too much of him withholding in my first marriage and will not go back to a guy manipulating me with sex.

However, if I'm really angry (which usually means hurt) I'm not in a mood for sex -- that is different. Then, it is important to settle the issue (not win!) before being intimate. Make-up sex can be wonderful!

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If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god

It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

opentocomments

lets now forget how great angry sex it

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How do we know that the sky is not green and we are all color-blind?

71classic

Ok, this one strikes a nerve! I can't help but say this is more common than most would admit to. Just peel an ear around a corner or two when theres a group of men talking. It's a subject that will come up sooner rather than later.

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The only normal people are the ones you don't really know.

raeanna74

I don't recall ever witholding sex as punishment. I do remember times when I was very hurt or angry and turned him away because I hadn't resolved things yet and because of it wasn't in the mood at all. He's learned to give me a little space and talk over things more before suggesting sex.

I was raised to believe that witholding sex as a way of getting back at hubby was a low despicable act.

I have "rewarded" him for things but mostly its been in a way that he knows I wanted it anyway and I'm just making sure he knows how much I appreciate whatever it was that he did.

I don't think sex or anything else should be used to manipulate someone. Sex should be pleasure and an expression of love with your SO not a tool used for personal gain or punishment.

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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

rogue49

I have never encountered this with any of the ladies I've been with.

Usually, if I do have an issue, it's that sex is the only significant part of the relationship.

vveronica

I've been pissed off and it is not witholding. I dont want him near me. If I have to waste such time to think about witholding sex I would have recycled him.

Poor baby you dont like us holding back. When your dating a guy 100 pounds heavier and a foot taller, What should a girl do... Perhaps the way men sometimes do.. Just force them...

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...We find ourselves in a struggle for our very right to exsist... We will not go quietly into the night... We will not give up without a fight...

fuhrerhat

There's a difference between having no desire or will, and holding back.

Sure, if you're angry, you're not going to want to have sex.
But if you are simply mad because he(she) did something like eat the last cookie, it's not worth holding out.

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Shazbot

tekaweni

When my cat gets out of control I put it outside

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If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten