cannot orgasm - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

heccubusiv · 10-01-2003, 06:39 PM

I have been with my finacee for over 3 years and she has never gotten me to orgasm. When she gives me oral sex it does feel really really good but I just cannot go. Sex is great for her because I have lasted a long time each time( only have had sex 6 times and each time have lasted between 45 mins to 3 hours) She loves it because she orgasms more times than she can count. I don't mind not being able to orgasm around her but am making sure nothing is wrong and for possible solutions why.

skysooner · 10-01-2003, 06:43 PM

I gather you don't even orgasm through intercourse? If it is just not being able to orgasm through oral sex, there are lots of people that can't (I'm one). Are you able to orgasm through masturbation? If so, it is probably just mental, and you should just work on it with her and tell her exactly what you like. My wife didn't really orgasm with me consistently until I got her to tell me exactly what she liked and not to be afraid to tell me during. Now she orgasms every single time, but it takes a lot of work and communication.

Harshaw · 10-01-2003, 07:41 PM

Do you masturbate much? If you do, this could be the cause. Dan Savage wrote an article on this one, I can't find it (I will keep looking) but what it boiled down to was, the guy used what amounted to a death grip when jerking off, so it got to the point where he could only get off this way. You might want to avoid jerking off for a while and see if that helps.

This is one possible cause.

darkallaround · 10-01-2003, 08:37 PM

I'm kinda with harshaw on the first course of action.
try no stimulation of your penis for like a week (i know that sounds difficult) and then see what happens.

that doesnt mean you cant still take care of the little lady *wink wink*. just dont let mr. happy get any lovin no matter how much he begs.

Aladdin Sane · 10-03-2003, 06:42 PM

If you are taking antidepressants such as prozac or zoloft it can make it impossible for you to orgasm. Just a thought...

wry1 · 10-05-2003, 10:44 AM

Try letting her take charge sometime. It could be something as simple as a subconscious feeling that you're the one in charge and it's your responsibility to make sure she's taken care of.

Letting her do all the work might be just what you need, my friend.

sexymama · 10-05-2003, 11:52 AM

I've read that fear of getting a woman pregnant can hold a man back. Could that be the problem? If so, just be careful about your bc method and enjoy. Other than that, I agree with the above advice.

Lasereth · 10-05-2003, 07:00 PM

If I'm worried about ANYTHING, I can't come even if I want to. Seriously, if there is anything on my mind, or anything that makes me nervous while me and my girlfriend are pleasuring each other, I can't come at all. I just go soft and it takes me forever to get hard again.

On the other hand, I find it MUCH harder to come from intercourse than from oral sex. My girlfriend can get me off 100% of the time when we have oral sex, but I only come about 50-60% of the time when we have intercourse. I have a hard time relaxing during intercourse. I find it much easier to relax during oral sex. That's probably why oral sex feels 10 times better than intercourse to me.

-Lasereth

10-01-2003, 06:39 PM	#1 (permalink)
heccubusiv #1 Irish Fan Location: The Burgh	cannot orgasm I have been with my finacee for over 3 years and she has never gotten me to orgasm. When she gives me oral sex it does feel really really good but I just cannot go. Sex is great for her because I have lasted a long time each time( only have had sex 6 times and each time have lasted between 45 mins to 3 hours) She loves it because she orgasms more times than she can count. I don't mind not being able to orgasm around her but am making sure nothing is wrong and for possible solutions why. __________________ Fuck Ohio

10-01-2003, 07:41 PM	#3 (permalink)
Harshaw Is mad at you. Location: Bored in Sacramento	Do you masturbate much? If you do, this could be the cause. Dan Savage wrote an article on this one, I can't find it (I will keep looking) but what it boiled down to was, the guy used what amounted to a death grip when jerking off, so it got to the point where he could only get off this way. You might want to avoid jerking off for a while and see if that helps. This is one possible cause. __________________ This too shall pass. Last edited by Harshaw; 10-01-2003 at 08:46 PM..

10-01-2003, 08:37 PM	#4 (permalink)
darkallaround Tilted	I'm kinda with harshaw on the first course of action. try no stimulation of your penis for like a week (i know that sounds difficult) and then see what happens. that doesnt mean you cant still take care of the little lady wink wink. just dont let mr. happy get any lovin no matter how much he begs. __________________ the darkness it surrounds me, consumes my very soul. within this worthless existence i shall never be made whole.

10-03-2003, 06:42 PM	#5 (permalink)
Aladdin Sane Degenerate Location: San Marvelous	If you are taking antidepressants such as prozac or zoloft it can make it impossible for you to orgasm. Just a thought... __________________ Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

10-05-2003, 11:52 AM	#7 (permalink)
sexymama My own person -- his by choice Location: Lebell's arms	I've read that fear of getting a woman pregnant can hold a man back. Could that be the problem? If so, just be careful about your bc method and enjoy. Other than that, I agree with the above advice. __________________ If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

10-01-2003, 06:43 PM	#2 (permalink)
skysooner Registered User Location: Oklahoma	I gather you don't even orgasm through intercourse? If it is just not being able to orgasm through oral sex, there are lots of people that can't (I'm one). Are you able to orgasm through masturbation? If so, it is probably just mental, and you should just work on it with her and tell her exactly what you like. My wife didn't really orgasm with me consistently until I got her to tell me exactly what she liked and not to be afraid to tell me during. Now she orgasms every single time, but it takes a lot of work and communication.

10-05-2003, 10:44 AM	#6 (permalink)
wry1 Loser Location: Far too far from my Angel....	Try letting her take charge sometime. It could be something as simple as a subconscious feeling that you're the one in charge and it's your responsibility to make sure she's taken care of. Letting her do all the work might be just what you need, my friend.

10-05-2003, 07:00 PM	#8 (permalink)
Lasereth Knight of the Old Republic Location: Winston-Salem, NC	If I'm worried about ANYTHING, I can't come even if I want to. Seriously, if there is anything on my mind, or anything that makes me nervous while me and my girlfriend are pleasuring each other, I can't come at all. I just go soft and it takes me forever to get hard again. On the other hand, I find it MUCH harder to come from intercourse than from oral sex. My girlfriend can get me off 100% of the time when we have oral sex, but I only come about 50-60% of the time when we have intercourse. I have a hard time relaxing during intercourse. I find it much easier to relax during oral sex. That's probably why oral sex feels 10 times better than intercourse to me. -Lasereth __________________ "A Darwinian attacks his theory, seeking to find flaws. An ID believer defends his theory, seeking to conceal flaws." -Roger Ebert