Uocom

Lately I've been confused as to why I am consistently rejected. Now, if I were ugly and mean, then I could understand being rejected what is now 7 times in a row (and yes, by different girls). What makes the situation strange is that my looks have been compared multiple times to those of Tom Cruise and various other movie star figure types, and I'm probably the most ridiculously kind passive person you'd ever meet. There are a lot of girls that confide in me a ridiculous amount. Like, tell me who they are interested in, and even give me details about their periods. But if I'm ever interested in any of them, and ask if they want to do something, they never want to. It's gotten to the point where I subconsciously associate asking a girl out with pain, since all attempts fail. Do girls get more into guys that are mean and obviously trying to get into their pants or what?

Oh yeah, that description might lead you to the conclusion that the girls think I'm gay, but believe me, that's not the case. After all, wouldn't they know better when I asked them out?

lurkette

It's hard to say anything without knowing more about you. It could be that you haven't met the right person, it could be that you have spinach stuck in your teeth. Have you asked the girls? Have they outright said "I'm not interested in you in that way" or is it just that they're busy when you ask them to do something?

__________________
"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."

- Anatole France

Pellaz

First off, I'm a male, and suffer from the problem of all men that I can only relate what I've learned through life lessons, which may or may not be based on any shred of truth.

Kindness is a major asset, I believe, when dealing with women for the most part. Passivity, however, can ring all kinds of warning bells for her. I'm not saying that every woman wants a complete proactive testosterone freak, but they most definately don't want to date one of their girlfriends who happens to have a penis (which is not to say that women are inherently passive, thank god).

Does a woman want a man who constantly leers at her breasts, and spends every waking moment trying to get in her pants? Generaly, no. But women DO want to know that you feel they are a sexual being. If you never make any comments on how she looks, never drop any hints that you find her to be irrisistable, then she will quickly assume that she's not your type, etc. etc. etc., which brings us to what appears to me to be your major problem:

The Friendship Zone...one...on...e

Once you've entered the friendship zone, in either of your eyes, it's a different game completely. It's the difference between pulling on a nickel slot and loaying down a hundred dollars at a blackjack table. Most people, men and women, are reluctant to take that gamble once you've been neatly filed into that zone. There's still hope, as the most rewarding relationships that I can think of struggled out of this zone, but as the rewards are higher, so are the risks. Basicaly, if your friends with someone, accept it, and move on in your dating life. If you're sexualy compatable in addition to being friends, odds are that you'll both realise it at some point, and give it a go. And if you don't remain friends long enough to see if that would happen, well, it wouldn't of worked out anyway, now, would it?

This concludes our program for this evening. Your host will now retire to his bomb shelter hidden in the mountains, where he will remain until the shots, if any, die down.

__________________
" ' Big Mouth.
Remember it took three of you to kill me.
A god, a boy, and, last and least, a hero.' "

tv.

Just ask one of your non-close relative females what their impression of you is and how you could improve it.

mirevolver

I know exactly how you feel man. I'm in a much similar boat.

I have more female friends than male friends, but never had a serious relationship. All of the women I know have talked to me about very personal things and yet, they never want to take it any further than friendship.

It seems that whenever I meet a woman I'm placed into her "Just friends" category within 15 minutes of talking to her. And as Pellaz said, once she considers you a friend, it's almost impossible to be anything more.

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Aside from my great plans to become the future dictator of the moon, I have little interest in political discussions.

Uocom

Yeah, everything you all say makes sense. It just seems like most girls tend to actually be more into guys they don't know. It sounds ridiculous, but most of the girls I know are interested in guys that they, well, don't know. Either that or guys that are obviously completely faking their entire personalities. Like, I have this one friend who is a really good guy. He's smart and I agree with him on most issues. However, he is completely fake around other people. He always acts like he's in control of situations. I WOULD do that, but I feel like if I do, then I'll have to keep the facade the entire time I'm with some girl I get by acting that way. So it seems that I have to act like myself in order to enter a successful relationship, but can't enter a relationship at all if I'm myself.

Is it possible that girls are different after the mid-twenties or so?

Slims

Be a good listener and friend, but not passive.

__________________
"Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill

"All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T.E. Lawrence

RAGEAngel9

Nope women don't change. EVER
Of course neither do men really.

As simplistic as it sounds the following has hardly let me down:
Women are eveil, Men are stupid.

Uocom

Ha, sort of true. Except men are in ways smarter than women. When it comes to math and science, men are overall superior. Women are better at tast management, and can do better in more mundane tasks. This is going to sound bad, but chances are this is as a result of women being relegated to family-related activities in the past, and men being given the jobs of scouting out new areas and catching the food. As a result, men are better at coming up with new ideas and thinking scientifically, and women are better at doing multiple mundane tasks at once. Like cooking and cleaning. Sorry, had to say that! It does have a degree of truth to it though.

numberfive

Well hell, if you blurt out stupid facts like that all the time then it's no wonder they don't want to get deeper with you. My advice is to tone it down and find someone you don't know but like. Get to know them, read what was said about the friendship zone and try to stay out of it.

Good luck, I guess.

__________________
P.S. Always remember: to forget is a form of suicide. (If I could only remember to forget myself.)

Stiltzkin

-       

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The most important thing in this world is love.

RAGEAngel9

Wait who is posting stupid facts? Me or the other guy?
Well I do know for a fact men actually aren't beeter than women at math and science anymore. Well maybe still by a poitn or 2. It all comes down to the educational environment (well other factors too for individuals but not really for each group).

As for my evil,stupid thing. If only the world were as black and white as that.

hobo

I have almost 50/50 male/female friends. I have the problem of being too passive. I can tell right away when I'm with them that they pay more attention to the more outgoing guys. I am not really that outgoing, so I usually have no idea what to do. On a few occasions, some of my female friends have talked to me about their personal problems and that leads me to believe that I am in the "just a friend" category. What sort of step up from passive can I take? I'd rather not be too passive as that would make me into a sheep and I'd rather not be herded.

Uocom

Sorry, I wasn't serious when I said what I did, though it does have some truth. There are always exceptions to any generalization. I was talking to a good friend recently, and I think the problem might be that I talk too much about myself. Now, I don't go "Hey, what's up? Man, I earlier today I did lots of neat stuff!", but when I meet someone new I tend to say too much about the people I know and not ask them enough questions. Passivity(is that a word?) is still a major problem, and I was just then referring to when girls come up to talk to me, since it does happen sometimes in situations when I don't know anyone, because my looks are appealing to a certain group of women it seems. Well, it seems to be two groups, and they are quite different groups. Like, mandarin speaking Chinese girls, and those girls that are into retro-rock and spend all of their time stoned. I once had a funny occurence that I probably should have taken advantage of where this girl said I looked like the lead singer of REM. I then asked "Is that a good thing?" and she went "A veeeery good thing!"

I can be quite stupid, heh.

giblfiz

Two things
1) touch them... hands are fine, but make sure you touch them as much and as often as possible. It will make you seem both nicer and more sexually appealing. (If you touch in the neck/ear reagion, it works particularly well. like whispering in their ear is ideal)

2) drink with them. Shit happens when you are drinking. I'm not a big drinker personaly, but the sad truth is it works. Make sure your both drinking if you do it. I get the feeling that drugs work as well, but I like them even less than drinking, and like I said, drinking works

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Use the star one and you'll be fighting off the old ones with your bare hands
-A Shoggoth on the Roof

Trilidon

dont be so nice.

raeanna74

The fact that you mention that girls often feel comfortable enough to disclose to you personal information like about their periods and things makes me wonder if your passivity gives the impression of more of a big brother than of a datable guy. Not that brothers aren't great but a girl just doesn't normally get as excited by a guy who is their brother than a guy who is date material. Maybe not letting them get too close to talk about the VERY personal stuff could help you keep the excitment factor there.

__________________
"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

raeanna74

I couldn't help but mention - women usually score way above men in their verbal skills (Haven't you noticed how much we like to talk) and in their reading skills. These things would make us great public speakers, motivators, smooth talkers and consequently we should be able to excel in sales, politics, and other positions that require good language and public speaking skills. lol

motdakasha

As educational environments have become more equal, they are finding that women do just as well as men in such areas like math and science. It's becoming the exception, not the generalization. Get with the times.

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=^-^= motdakasha =^-^=
Just Google It.
BA Psychology & Photography
(I'm not going psychoanalyze you nor will I let you cry on my shoulder. Have a nice day.)

Uocom

Well, you are kind of right. Kind of not right. raeanna74 is totally correct that girls are better verbally. Men tend to be better at math and science, and girls better at verbal. However, I am "with the times." I am one of those people that are crazily involved in math competitions and the such, and the people that take part in those competitions are predominantly male, and the people that win are always male. However, females dominate most verbal competitions. It's an interesting phenomenon, but that is an accurate generalization.