Quote:
Originally posted by Uocom
... I'm probably the most ridiculously kind passive person you'd ever meet. ...Do girls get more into guys that are mean and obviously trying to get into their pants or what?...
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First off, I'm a male, and suffer from the problem of all men that I can only relate what I've learned through life lessons, which may or may not be based on any shred of truth.
Kindness is a major asset, I believe, when dealing with women for the most part. Passivity, however, can ring all kinds of warning bells for her. I'm not saying that every woman wants a complete proactive testosterone freak, but they most definately don't want to date one of their girlfriends who happens to have a penis (which is not to say that women are inherently passive, thank god).
Does a woman want a man who constantly leers at her breasts, and spends every waking moment trying to get in her pants? Generaly, no. But women DO want to know that you feel they are a sexual being. If you never make any comments on how she looks, never drop any hints that you find her to be irrisistable, then she will quickly assume that she's not your type, etc. etc. etc., which brings us to what appears to me to be your major problem:
The Friendship Zone...one...on...e
Once you've entered the friendship zone, in either of your eyes, it's a different game completely. It's the difference between pulling on a nickel slot and loaying down a hundred dollars at a blackjack table. Most people, men and women, are reluctant to take that gamble once you've been neatly filed into that zone. There's still hope, as the most rewarding relationships that I can think of struggled out of this zone, but as the rewards are higher, so are the risks. Basicaly, if your friends with someone, accept it, and move on in your dating life. If you're sexualy compatable in addition to being friends, odds are that you'll both realise it at some point, and give it a go. And if you don't remain friends long enough to see if that would happen, well, it wouldn't of worked out anyway, now, would it?
This concludes our program for this evening. Your host will now retire to his bomb shelter hidden in the mountains, where he will remain until the shots, if any, die down.