i have no GAME! - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

iloveredheads · 07-13-2003, 06:48 PM

over the past two years i have dated girls(ususally once or twice and they dont talk to me afterwards) and i cant stand it. i can kinda get their attention but after a date it all goes to shit.

SOMEONE PLEASE HELP

Holo · 07-13-2003, 06:52 PM

Care to expand a bit?

I mean lay out your "game" so maybe we can find out where if at all you're going wrong.

clockworkgreen · 07-13-2003, 06:57 PM

Have you given any thought to separating yourself from your conjoined twin? He's a real bastard.

iloveredheads · 07-13-2003, 07:03 PM

well i act silly to get girls and its worked for a while but lately i feel that if i won the lottery i would still be single. i think it has to do with my confusion with my not knowing what i am really wanting to do with my life and so on but i just wanna fuck at the time being. and i had a chance to but the girl i was seeing thought i just wanted to date and dropped me and found some other dick so i dunno

--jones-- · 07-13-2003, 08:00 PM

im in the same sort of position...i can get girls realy easily by being flirty and a joke. but as soon as it comes to dating i freeze up. i usualy want just play from relationships but it would be nice to keep a girl for a while...

motdakasha · 07-13-2003, 09:10 PM

I feel that if you think you need a "game" to get chicks, in the long run, you probably won't get one of substance. If you go by some sort of formula, you'll always get the same chicks. If you find the chicks you get aren't to your liking, you get stuck in a rut. Realize that many women are all very different and that the way to get one of them is also very varied.

Also, acting silly can easily be interpretted as being retarded (sorry, poor choice in words but that's how I describe it) or immature. Check their reactions, if they're not really laughing, you should probably rethink this. I once watched some random show on eMpTyV and a guy and a girl were hooked up and each had a date counselor observe them. This one guy acted what he thought was "silly," but he was just plain obnoxious. He was so focused on being silly that he didn't even realize the girl was seriously grossed out by his behaviour when she said she lost her appetite (he was playing with his food in a decent restaurant... talk about embarrassing). I'm very biased about this because I hate class-clown types, so just go based on how other people react to your sillyness. If it's welcomed, then by all means do whatever makes you and others happy. If it's either not well-received, or doesn't make an impact, it seems kind of pointless to continue, then, doesn't it?

One plan of action, I suppose, is changing your attitude (I don't know what yours is, so this is all hypothetical). I usually see people who are constant goofs as a sign of insecurity. Try acting more mature and more confident. See if that changes anything.

Hope this helps..

sub zero · 07-13-2003, 10:23 PM

<a href="http://fastseduction.com/guide/">This</a> is the answer to your problem.

Minx · 07-14-2003, 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by iloveredheads
i think it has to do with my confusion with my not knowing what i am really wanting to do with my life and so on but i just wanna fuck at the time being.

I think you just answered your own question. "You just wanna fuck at the time"....gee....maybe some of them clued in to that. Obviously you are not treating them as special or being attentive if all you want is to get off. Try treating them as someone you would like to get to know instead of someone you just want to lay.

BigJayz · 07-14-2003, 02:00 PM

Be yourself, don't try to "act" silly. Above all, stop LOOKING for a girl, let one find you. Women can sense a guy that is looking for a girl and they normally avoid them like the plague. Ever realized that while you have a girlfriend, other girls flirt with you more? They don't like desperate!

Donkeypuncher · 07-14-2003, 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Minx
Try treating them as someone you would like to get to know instead of someone you just want to lay.

but... wasn't he saying he pretty much just wanted to get laid? So... you're saying it's ok to mislead a girl into thinking he wants a relationship just so he can get laid? That doesn't seem right at all.

If he really just wants to get laid, it seems like it'd be better being up-front with it.

nulltype · 07-14-2003, 09:41 PM

I agree with Donkeypuncher, just because the common perception of women is that they are more interested in "getting to know someone" than having sex does not mean that there are not those who would rather just have sex. And personally I'd prefer that everyone at least try to be honest about what they want. If he is treating women badly, then that is one thing, but he only said that he was interested in sex. If he can find someone else interested in the same thing, then I should think that they would both be happy. I consider being forthright with your desires to be a good thing.

I also have a strong suspicion that BigJayz is correct about a large number of women. Although "iloveredheads" should keep in mind that there should be some action on his part, even if it's not actively looking. Having girls ask you out happens, but not too often.

Minx · 07-15-2003, 09:02 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Donkeypuncher
but... wasn't he saying he pretty much just wanted to get laid? So... you're saying it's ok to mislead a girl into thinking he wants a relationship just so he can get laid? That doesn't seem right at all.

OH GOD NO! Sorry! That's not what I was trying to say at all.....no no no no no!
I was just pointing out that the reason why some women might not be interested after the first date is because they realize that's all he wants. There isn't anything wrong with that and yes, I too believe in being upfront with people as far as what you want (and why). It's just that if iloveredheads was a little confused as to why they may seem cold afterwards....it could be that they aren't looking for just sex, a one-night stand but something more. This is why I said he should treat them as someone he wants to get to know instead of just someone to lay. If you want to just get laid....then find a girl that wants to do just that and there will be no hard feelings the next day. If you want someone who wants to be with you after the first date...then treat them with respect - not just as a body to screw.
Someone said once (I'm sorry I don't remember which TFP member it was) that instead of looking for someone you want to go to sleep with....look for someone you want to wake up with. That makes a LOT of sense to me!

Donkeypuncher · 07-15-2003, 11:20 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Minx
I was just pointing out that the reason why some women might not be interested after the first date

Yeah, but that's not what he said...

"i just wanna fuck at the time being. and i had a chance to but the girl i was seeing thought i just wanted to date and dropped me"

Quote:

it could be that they aren't looking for just sex, a one-night stand but something more. This is why I said he should treat them as someone he wants to get to know instead of just someone to lay.

But... he doesn't. He said explicitly, "i just wanna fuck." So yeah, you're right... there are a lot of women who are looking for "something more," but it seems like you're still saying that he should act like he wants to get to know those women when he said flat-out all he wants to do is fuck. That's going to leave him disappointed and frustrated and her feelings hurt.

Sorry - I'm not trying to be difficult, but it seems like you keep saying he should act like he wants to be in a relationship when that's clearly not what he said he wanted.

Minx · 07-15-2003, 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Donkeypuncher
But... he doesn't. He said explicitly, "i just wanna fuck." So yeah, you're right... there are a lot of women who are looking for "something more," but it seems like you're still saying that he should act like he wants to get to know those women when he said flat-out all he wants to do is fuck. That's going to leave him disappointed and frustrated and her feelings hurt.

Sorry - I'm not trying to be difficult, but it seems like you keep saying he should act like he wants to be in a relationship when that's clearly not what he said he wanted.

I can see your point totally...I really do and no, I am not saying to lead women on by pretending to want more...that's just not right. I guess the point I was trying to make is to me it appeared that he wasn't actually TELLING the girls that all he wanted to do was f***.....it was in his brain but he didn't go up to them and say "Hey babe...I'm just looking for a quickie - you in?" If that is/was the case then hey - more power to him and there shouldn't be any boohooing from any girls after the fact. BUT...if that was in his mind (and not verbalized) then we have a whole new ball of wax to play with!
I guess only iloveredheads can answer whether or not they were informed beforehand what the expectations were!

And don't apologize for being difficult! lol....I love a good back-and-forth conversation....I just didn't want to be misunderstood!

iloveredheads · 07-17-2003, 08:17 PM

im sorry yall rock and i have been away anyways.... i have dated girls and they seem to wanna fuck and tehy always say they think i want a relationship.. hrm i dunno wtf is going on

Donkeypuncher · 07-18-2003, 06:08 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Minx
it appeared that he wasn't actually TELLING the girls that all he wanted to do was f***.....it was in his brain but he didn't go up to them

verrrrry likely.

Ever notice that about 80% of the advice questions have the same basic answer? "Communicate"!

07-13-2003, 06:48 PM	#1 (permalink)
iloveredheads Upright	i have no GAME! over the past two years i have dated girls(ususally once or twice and they dont talk to me afterwards) and i cant stand it. i can kinda get their attention but after a date it all goes to shit. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP

07-13-2003, 06:52 PM	#2 (permalink)
Holo A Real American	Care to expand a bit? I mean lay out your "game" so maybe we can find out where if at all you're going wrong. __________________ I happen to like the words "fuck", "cock", "pussy", "tits", "cunt", "twat", "shit" and even "bitch". As long as I am not using them to describe you, don't go telling me whether or not I can/should use them...that is, if you want me to continue refraining from using them to describe you. ~Prince

07-13-2003, 09:10 PM	#6 (permalink)
motdakasha Hiya Puddin'! Miss me? Location: Silicon Valley, CA	I feel that if you think you need a "game" to get chicks, in the long run, you probably won't get one of substance. If you go by some sort of formula, you'll always get the same chicks. If you find the chicks you get aren't to your liking, you get stuck in a rut. Realize that many women are all very different and that the way to get one of them is also very varied. Also, acting silly can easily be interpretted as being retarded (sorry, poor choice in words but that's how I describe it) or immature. Check their reactions, if they're not really laughing, you should probably rethink this. I once watched some random show on eMpTyV and a guy and a girl were hooked up and each had a date counselor observe them. This one guy acted what he thought was "silly," but he was just plain obnoxious. He was so focused on being silly that he didn't even realize the girl was seriously grossed out by his behaviour when she said she lost her appetite (he was playing with his food in a decent restaurant... talk about embarrassing). I'm very biased about this because I hate class-clown types, so just go based on how other people react to your sillyness. If it's welcomed, then by all means do whatever makes you and others happy. If it's either not well-received, or doesn't make an impact, it seems kind of pointless to continue, then, doesn't it? One plan of action, I suppose, is changing your attitude (I don't know what yours is, so this is all hypothetical). I usually see people who are constant goofs as a sign of insecurity. Try acting more mature and more confident. See if that changes anything. Hope this helps.. __________________ =^-^= motdakasha =^-^= Just Google It. BA Psychology & Photography (I'm not going psychoanalyze you nor will I let you cry on my shoulder. Have a nice day.) Last edited by motdakasha; 07-13-2003 at 09:30 PM..

07-13-2003, 10:23 PM	#7 (permalink)
sub zero Addict Location: The one state that doesn't have black outs: TEXAS BABY!!!	<a href="http://fastseduction.com/guide/">This</a> is the answer to your problem. __________________ Did you Google it yet? Join the TFP Typing team!!

07-13-2003, 06:57 PM	#3 (permalink)
clockworkgreen Psycho Location: DC	Have you given any thought to separating yourself from your conjoined twin? He's a real bastard.

07-13-2003, 07:03 PM	#4 (permalink)
iloveredheads Upright	well i act silly to get girls and its worked for a while but lately i feel that if i won the lottery i would still be single. i think it has to do with my confusion with my not knowing what i am really wanting to do with my life and so on but i just wanna fuck at the time being. and i had a chance to but the girl i was seeing thought i just wanted to date and dropped me and found some other dick so i dunno

07-13-2003, 08:00 PM	#5 (permalink)
--jones-- Crazy	im in the same sort of position...i can get girls realy easily by being flirty and a joke. but as soon as it comes to dating i freeze up. i usualy want just play from relationships but it would be nice to keep a girl for a while...

07-14-2003, 02:00 PM	#9 (permalink)
BigJayz Crazy Location: Sunny So. Cal.	Be yourself, don't try to "act" silly. Above all, stop LOOKING for a girl, let one find you. Women can sense a guy that is looking for a girl and they normally avoid them like the plague. Ever realized that while you have a girlfriend, other girls flirt with you more? They don't like desperate!

07-14-2003, 09:41 PM	#11 (permalink)
nulltype Crazy	I agree with Donkeypuncher, just because the common perception of women is that they are more interested in "getting to know someone" than having sex does not mean that there are not those who would rather just have sex. And personally I'd prefer that everyone at least try to be honest about what they want. If he is treating women badly, then that is one thing, but he only said that he was interested in sex. If he can find someone else interested in the same thing, then I should think that they would both be happy. I consider being forthright with your desires to be a good thing. I also have a strong suspicion that BigJayz is correct about a large number of women. Although "iloveredheads" should keep in mind that there should be some action on his part, even if it's not actively looking. Having girls ask you out happens, but not too often.

07-17-2003, 08:17 PM	#15 (permalink)
iloveredheads Upright	im sorry yall rock and i have been away anyways.... i have dated girls and they seem to wanna fuck and tehy always say they think i want a relationship.. hrm i dunno wtf is going on