Who was the most unexpected sexual experience of your life? - Page 2 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Strange Famous · 02-14-2011, 01:40 PM

I havent slept with a great number of people, but the most expensive was on my 18th birthday with a girl in the year below, in the woods behind the village hall where my birthday party was held... whilst in the possession of a crate of cider.

Its probably the only completely casual sex Ive ever had in which there was no real emotional side (although we were sorta friends before and after)

I dont really know why she did it. At 18 I wasnt as fat as I am now, but I was still 190 lbs and still 5 10 tall. I think she kind of did it because I was in the year above and although I wasnt exactly "cool" at school - I was pretty well known (basically on account of stupid things and sucj like I did to get attention rather than any merit) and maybe she did it over that. Or maybe it was just a birthday present.

I wouldnt make any excuses about being drunk. I was drunk, but if I was sober I would have done it anyway.

_

Anyway, it was nice (although cold) and we drank some cider and then when I got back to the party one of my best friends got punched by the boyfriend of the girl who's joint party it was, and I tried to defend him (cos he wouldnt fight back) but hitting her boyfriend with a plate of sandwiches and we ended up wrestling on the floor together trying to grind sandwiches into each others faces.

The girl was quite mad over it cos her mum had made all the sandwiches, but a few years later she ended up getting engaged to by mate, although they broke up before they got married.

xenonman · 02-28-2011, 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KirStang

66Mustang must be a good looking stud. Random girls from across the hall, moms of girlfriends? You go, you.

yes, I've been really impressed by the tales of mustang66. I think he has an excellent imagination.

xenonman.-

xenonman · 03-01-2011, 04:03 PM

Especially impressive, since so few cheerleaders go to Hebrew school!

Quote:

Originally Posted by levite

Unexpected? I dunno. The couple of times I hooked up for a one-nighter were surprising, no doubt.

But honestly, I think the most unexpected was the first girl I ever slept with. I was very young. In retrospect, really too young to be having sex. But I was living in Minnesota, and there was nothing to do, so kids were having sex pretty young. And being an adolescent boy, it's not like I didn't want sex all the time. I just didn't think I'd be getting any.

I was a geek at that point (that changed later in high school). Chubby kid, read comic books and sci-fi, too smart for my own good, had a bad tendency to be a teacher's pet when I wasn't busy giving the finger to any kind of authority, tended to be a loner. Not, in short, the kind of kid who expects to be having sex any time soon.

I went to Hebrew school with this really cute girl. She was a cheerleader at her school, believe it or not.... Wavy brown hair, dimples, girl next door smile, all the right curves in all the right places.... Way, way out of my league. Maybe not even the same sport. Anyway, for some reason she had decided I was amusing, and deigned to hang out with me a little. She stuck with the amusement long enough for me to get over my shyness around girls that give me a terminal hard-on (shyness since overcome, BTW), and apparently she decided that smart and quirky and sensitive had their value, so we kind of became friends, and she would confide in me a little.

That was more than I expected. So I was more than shocked when she proposed that we have sex. In those days, there was no such thing as "friends with benefits," but that's essentially what she wanted. She had decided on me because I didn't go to her regular school, and so she felt comfortable having sex with me on the sly, so nobody would find out and ruin her reputation. At the time, of course, it never occurred to me that she was essentially using me for her own gratification, and that she would never have wanted her friends to know that she had sex with me-- that she would've been ashamed, not just of having her sex life revealed, but that she'd fucked a geek. But I just went along with the whole thing, where I wasn't her official boyfriend, and we didn't go on real dates, and she didn't want me calling her house, or showing up at her school.

I was living with my dad that year, and he was often away, so we just made regular times when she would come over to my place, and we would get it on. To be fair, she was quite hot, and very eager to explore her sexuality-- there wasn't anything I could think of at that time that she wasn't willing to try, in the privacy of my house. In retrospect, I probably should've valued my integrity over the sex, and not done it with her. But that's just not how adolescent boys think. So I shagged her rotten, and had a jolly old time doing so.

Lasted about eight or ten months. A lot of sex. Quality sex, considering our age and inexperience. And it was definitely unexpected. Social status and cliquism is never stronger than during that time of life, and yet...I spent the better part of a year fucking an alpha girl. She remains, to this day, the only cheerleader I've ever nailed.

66mustang · 03-03-2011, 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xenonman

yes, I've been really impressed by the tales of mustang66. I think he has an excellent imagination.

xenonman.-

Excellent memory is more like. As I've said before, I have been very blessed and very busy.

xenonman · 03-04-2011, 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KirStang

66Mustang must be a good looking stud. Random girls from across the hall, moms of girlfriends? You go, you.

...or else has a most vivid imagination!!

xenonman.-

---------- Post added at 05:02 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:55 PM ----------

Quote:

Originally Posted by thedoc

There is a saying, "If it sounds too good to be true, It probably is". Could that apply to this thread?

Shouldn't these posts be on the Humor thread?

You are absolutely correct!
This is particularly true of "Mustang66". I have done some quick calculations, and find the number and types of his claims of sexual interactions to be almost impossible to achieve -- even in a lifetime!

The_Jazz · 03-05-2011, 06:16 AM

xenoman, we have a low tolerance for flaming here.

xenonman · 03-07-2011, 03:58 PM

I don't think I've made any observations more severe than others haven't already mentioned.

Zeraph · 03-07-2011, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bonkai

After i got my first tattoo, a girl watching me get inked in the shop decide she wanted a quicky...she was pretty but the sex was pretty vanilla tho really unexpected!

Oh that's so cool! Its funny because its a fantasy of mine every time I get a tattoo. The first time especially. There were two good looking women, one getting inked (half naked) the other a friend. I made lots of talk with them but sadly they finished first and didn't seem like feeling to stick around.

edit: I should also state I had a clear opening with a college professor...who was going to get married in a few months. In the end I decided it was a bad idea and didn't pursue. Now of course I wish I had have. She was the most gorgeous prof I've had. Plus there'd be an added kinky factor. But damn my principles.

the most surprising thing was how open she was about it in front of other students. She'd literally bend over me and show me her boobies (yay boobies) while she talked to me, I saw several students whispering when she did that.

The odd thing was that she knew I was into her as well. Even though I wasn't trying to show any emotion toward it because I wanted to stay out of anything to do with marriage.

Craven Morehead · 03-07-2011, 05:06 PM

I hope you got an A in that class, otherwise.......

Red and Black · 03-09-2011, 12:56 AM

I had an unexpected sexual act this past weekend. My significant other and I, along with some friends went to Las Vegas for a good time. Most of our friends gambled and went drinking. We had our share for the night and went back to the hotel room which we shared with a few friends. One of our friends, who is a female, went back to our room with us. She ended up passing out from drinking too much and we all ended up laying on the same bed. Long story short, me and my girlfriend had sex right next to her while she was passed out. And we were going at it hard. It came to a point where I had to "aim" away to make sure I didn't get any cum on her.

ralphie250 · 03-10-2011, 08:46 AM

Wow, apparently i'm just a bland person. i've only had sex with 2 people. A girl in high school, and my wife of almost 12 years. To me "The most unexpected sexual experience of my life" is when my 3 year old goes to bed and my wife and i have quiet sex.
I'm just vanilla.

xenonman · 03-10-2011, 02:37 PM

maybe not "bland". but just more truthful than many other postings!

The_Jazz · 03-10-2011, 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xenonman

maybe not "bland". but just more truthful than many other postings!

I don't appreciate being called a liar. Or are you calling someone else a liar? If so, let's see your proof. Don't have any? Stop being a troll.

telekinetic · 03-10-2011, 03:05 PM

On a whim, I called a female friend of mine who was into tattoos and piercings and stuff to be the camera woman while I got my frenum pierced. We went back to my place afterwards for a few drinks, and she ended up wanting to test it out, so we did.

yournamehere · 03-10-2011, 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by troy512

my sister-in-law

Okay - I'll bite.
Your wife's sister, or your brother's wife?
__________________________

For me, the most unexpected was my "second."

My first girlfriend (of a few years) and I had broken up, and I was just hanging out with a friend. We drove over to visit a female friend of his, who had a roommate. I hadn't met either of them before that day. We had a few drinks and smoked a few joints that night, and it was decided that we were too buzzed to drive home; so the girls brought out some pillows and blankets and we crashed on the living room floor. At no time during the evening was there any indication that anyone would be having sex that night - it was just four people hanging out and having fun.

Sometime in the middle of the night, though, I awoke to discover one of the girls lying beside me kissing me, with her hand in my pants. I won't go into details, but we stayed awake most of the rest of the night. Meanwhile, my friend had slipped away to her roommate's bedroom.

What made it unexpected was twofold - that my second sexual experience was a one-night stand (and - not to be redundant, but totally unexpected); and the fact that it was a different female body than I was used to lying next to. It seemed familiar, yet different.

After that, nothing surprised me . . . .

ralphie250 · 03-11-2011, 03:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xenonman

maybe not "bland". but just more truthful than many other postings!

Well thank you. I have no reason to make things up cause that's not who I am. I am proud of my "bland" sex life.

Shadowex3 · 03-11-2011, 09:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Jazz

I don't appreciate being called a liar. Or are you calling someone else a liar? If so, let's see your proof. Don't have any? Stop being a troll.

Sorry Jazz but I'm a lot more inclined to say the guy claiming to have had sex with very nearly every woman he's ever met and half the women they've met is the one trolling.

Plan9 · 03-11-2011, 09:50 AM

Somebody didn't eat his Wheaties...

Nobody is calling you a liar, Dr. Jazzgood. You've had sex. You have recipients. They have social security numbers.

ralphie250 · 03-11-2011, 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plan9

They have social security numbers.

what about the ones that don't?

The_Jazz · 03-11-2011, 12:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shadowex3

Sorry Jazz but I'm a lot more inclined to say the guy claiming to have had sex with very nearly every woman he's ever met and half the women they've met is the one trolling.

You need to examine your definition of what a troll is. My definition is someone who comes in to stir up shit for no good reason. I'm not saying every post here is necessarily true. I am saying that following someone around the board and posting in other threads that you don't believe that individual is troll-like behavior. Especially if that's all you post.

Sometimes looking at a poster's recent history reveals more than is immediately apparent. My guess is that you just missed a post or three - not that you need to be paying that close of attention.

ralphie250 · 03-11-2011, 03:15 PM

seems like someone isnt being honest lol

Plan9 · 03-11-2011, 07:01 PM

Nah, Honesty got banned.

ralphie250 · 03-12-2011, 03:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plan9

Nah, Honesty got banned.

oh, I see...

The_Jazz · 03-14-2011, 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ralphie250

oh, I see...

Heh - probably not. Honesty was a member for a while who got banned when he edited all of his work here to flame another staffer (not me) who confronted him on posting questionable pictures and advocating sex with teenagers. We don't have a problem with an intellectual discussion about pedophelia, just that we aren't going to be the home for folks that aren't going to observe our rules about sexualized pictures of minors.

Just thought I'd let you in on the joke.

MeltedMetalGlob · 03-18-2011, 05:10 PM

A blind date- I was 26, and she was 30 and divorced. The date was fun, but nothing exceptional until she asked me to come back to her place for small talk.

Apparently she had more in mind than small talk once she had me alone. She did things to me that blew my mind. (I wasn't used to women wanting it on the first date.)

citadel · 03-19-2011, 07:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 66mustang

a girlfriend that treated me and my meat like an addiction that also liked bringing virgins home for me to spoil, as she called it

Did that ever get awkward?

Quote:

Originally Posted by levite

Lasted about eight or ten months. A lot of sex. Quality sex, considering our age and inexperience. And it was definitely unexpected. Social status and cliquism is never stronger than during that time of life, and yet...I spent the better part of a year fucking an alpha girl. She remains, to this day, the only cheerleader I've ever nailed.

How did it end with her?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Craven Morehead

Years ago, two young ladies picked me up in a bar one night.

I actually had two very cute girls offer in a similar situation, but I turned them down. The guy with me couldn't believe what he'd just seen.

audioguru · 03-20-2011, 03:19 PM

I was getting ready to go into the military and I was seeing a girl that I couldn't seem to get any alone time with, we were always chaperoned by the mother.

Rochelle would be sent to bed at 9:00 and her mother would tell me not to go, she wanted the company. Her husband was always upstairs in his office. She kissed me one night which kind of freaked me out a bit because of the husband upstairs so I left.

The next time I was there she opened the robe she had on and told me to come over and touch her. When I asked what about her husband she told me not to worry about him. I fucked her and came after about three strokes and beat feet before I got killed. The next night she told me it was really okay so I took a little more time and fucked her three times without any down time (ah, the power of a horny eighteen year old).

I never did get to the girl, her momma seemed to consider me hers.

02-14-2011, 01:40 PM	#41 (permalink)
Strange Famous follower of the child's crusade?	I havent slept with a great number of people, but the most expensive was on my 18th birthday with a girl in the year below, in the woods behind the village hall where my birthday party was held... whilst in the possession of a crate of cider. Its probably the only completely casual sex Ive ever had in which there was no real emotional side (although we were sorta friends before and after) I dont really know why she did it. At 18 I wasnt as fat as I am now, but I was still 190 lbs and still 5 10 tall. I think she kind of did it because I was in the year above and although I wasnt exactly "cool" at school - I was pretty well known (basically on account of stupid things and sucj like I did to get attention rather than any merit) and maybe she did it over that. Or maybe it was just a birthday present. I wouldnt make any excuses about being drunk. I was drunk, but if I was sober I would have done it anyway. _ Anyway, it was nice (although cold) and we drank some cider and then when I got back to the party one of my best friends got punched by the boyfriend of the girl who's joint party it was, and I tried to defend him (cos he wouldnt fight back) but hitting her boyfriend with a plate of sandwiches and we ended up wrestling on the floor together trying to grind sandwiches into each others faces. The girl was quite mad over it cos her mum had made all the sandwiches, but a few years later she ended up getting engaged to by mate, although they broke up before they got married. __________________ "Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate, for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain without being uncovered." The Gospel of Thomas

03-05-2011, 06:16 AM	#46 (permalink)
The_Jazz Asshole Administrator Location: Chicago	xenoman, we have a low tolerance for flaming here. __________________ "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin "There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush "We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

03-09-2011, 12:56 AM	#50 (permalink)
Red and Black Upright	I had an unexpected sexual act this past weekend. My significant other and I, along with some friends went to Las Vegas for a good time. Most of our friends gambled and went drinking. We had our share for the night and went back to the hotel room which we shared with a few friends. One of our friends, who is a female, went back to our room with us. She ended up passing out from drinking too much and we all ended up laying on the same bed. Long story short, me and my girlfriend had sex right next to her while she was passed out. And we were going at it hard. It came to a point where I had to "aim" away to make sure I didn't get any cum on her. __________________ tsohg a nees uoy ekil skool

03-10-2011, 03:05 PM	#54 (permalink)
telekinetic zomgomgomgomgomgomg Location: Fauxenix, Azerona	On a whim, I called a female friend of mine who was into tattoos and piercings and stuff to be the camera woman while I got my frenum pierced. We went back to my place afterwards for a few drinks, and she ended up wanting to test it out, so we did. __________________ twisted no more Last edited by telekinetic; 04-02-2011 at 11:53 AM..

03-11-2011, 09:50 AM	#58 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	Somebody didn't eat his Wheaties... Nobody is calling you a liar, Dr. Jazzgood. You've had sex. You have recipients. They have social security numbers. __________________ *Whatever you can carry.* "You should not drink... and bake."

03-07-2011, 03:58 PM	#47 (permalink)
xenonman Upright	I don't think I've made any observations more severe than others haven't already mentioned.

03-07-2011, 05:06 PM	#49 (permalink)
Craven Morehead Custom User Title	I hope you got an A in that class, otherwise.......

03-10-2011, 02:37 PM	#52 (permalink)
xenonman Upright	maybe not "bland". but just more truthful than many other postings!

03-11-2011, 07:01 PM	#62 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	Nah, Honesty got banned. __________________ *Whatever you can carry.* "You should not drink... and bake."

03-18-2011, 05:10 PM	#65 (permalink)
MeltedMetalGlob Crazy Location: San Huevos, USA	A blind date- I was 26, and she was 30 and divorced. The date was fun, but nothing exceptional until she asked me to come back to her place for small talk. Apparently she had more in mind than small talk once she had me alone. She did things to me that blew my mind. (I wasn't used to women wanting it on the first date.) __________________ How's your mom, Ed?

03-20-2011, 03:19 PM	#67 (permalink)
audioguru Upright	When I was 18..... I was getting ready to go into the military and I was seeing a girl that I couldn't seem to get any alone time with, we were always chaperoned by the mother. Rochelle would be sent to bed at 9:00 and her mother would tell me not to go, she wanted the company. Her husband was always upstairs in his office. She kissed me one night which kind of freaked me out a bit because of the husband upstairs so I left. The next time I was there she opened the robe she had on and told me to come over and touch her. When I asked what about her husband she told me not to worry about him. I fucked her and came after about three strokes and beat feet before I got killed. The next night she told me it was really okay so I took a little more time and fucked her three times without any down time (ah, the power of a horny eighteen year old). I never did get to the girl, her momma seemed to consider me hers.