yournamehere

Okay - I'll bite.
Your wife's sister, or your brother's wife?
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For me, the most unexpected was my "second."

My first girlfriend (of a few years) and I had broken up, and I was just hanging out with a friend. We drove over to visit a female friend of his, who had a roommate. I hadn't met either of them before that day. We had a few drinks and smoked a few joints that night, and it was decided that we were too buzzed to drive home; so the girls brought out some pillows and blankets and we crashed on the living room floor. At no time during the evening was there any indication that anyone would be having sex that night - it was just four people hanging out and having fun.

Sometime in the middle of the night, though, I awoke to discover one of the girls lying beside me kissing me, with her hand in my pants. I won't go into details, but we stayed awake most of the rest of the night. Meanwhile, my friend had slipped away to her roommate's bedroom.

What made it unexpected was twofold - that my second sexual experience was a one-night stand (and - not to be redundant, but totally unexpected); and the fact that it was a different female body than I was used to lying next to. It seemed familiar, yet different.

After that, nothing surprised me . . . .

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If you want to avoid 95% of internet spelling errors:
"If your ridiculous pants are too loose, you're definitely going to lose them. Tell your two loser friends over there that they're going to lose theirs, too."
It won't hurt your fashion sense, either.