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Old 05-28-2009, 12:06 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Male Enhancement Reviews

I tried posting this yesterday, but I made the mistake of linking to my site. That wasn't the point of my original thread, I just wanted to share male enhancement reviews with people that might be interested. There are so many of these products and many men do need them, and I can't stand seeing so many products out there that claim all this nonesense and don't provide. There are legitimate products out there, it's just hard to find them. It also doesn't help that if you google "male enhancement reviews" all you will get is fake websites designed by the companies themselves to bad mouth other products and praise their own.

It's my BF and I that test the products. He needs them more than I do as I am a lot younger and still don't really need them, BUT, they do help in some cases make things a lot more fun, even for a younger person. I know we're two guys, but who better to test these products than two males, since obviously the product is targeted for males (and maybe some hermaphrodites). Also, our reviews don't really talk about anything gay related, if some people are bothered by that. He writes the reviews and I simply help him "test" the products.

Hopefully someone will find some use out of these, and maybe recommend one to try that maybe they've tried before or are curious about. We just started this recently so we don't have too many, but work on them as much as we can. The first product review I'm posting up is called "Stiff Nights." It's available in most sex shops I believe, as well as online. Buying it in the store can be a rip off though. His Screen Name is Postal and mine is iwst99.


Stiff Nights
Price: $7.95 per pill (zoinks!)
Rating: 2 ½ Wood Swings



The folks at Stiff Nights are old-school drug dealers. They will not let you buy their product. They will let you try the product (or “ have a taste” as they would say in the imagined crack dens of my youth) for the horndog-on-a-budget price of just $1.99 shipping and handling. But, heck who has the time to wait for shipping AND handling? I mean, I’m on it for the shipping, but handling, too? I’ve got places to go, dog!

Lucky for me, my local lube-and-condom shop was retailing these bad boys for the no commitment price of $7.95 per pill. Shut your mouth! For the price of admission to a matinee screening of “Chronicles of Narnia 3”, I was promised 48-72 hours of rock solid erections with recovery time between ejaculations of less than 5 minutes. Damn, I can get off continuously AND put out a fire. Now that’s value.

The product packaging had all the overheated promise of being young, intense, hard, yadda-yadda-yadda. I especially liked their catch phrase “regain the thunder”. Visions of neon bolts shooting out my urethra (oh wait, that would be regain the lightning)…oh well, never mind, thunder is just not that visual….

Rebels that we are, iwst99 and I gulped our Stiff Nights at 11am on a Saturday morning. Why would Stiff Nights so baldly discriminate against the daylight hours? Who the hell are they, vampires? And since I am about to be rock-hard for the next 48 hours, what the heck is that name talking about anyway? Might I suggest the name Stiff Fortnights?

The product label promised action in 30 minutes. The website promised it takes effect in 1-2 hours. I guess if you have the time to go check out the website, you were probably waiting around for something to happen in the first 30 minutes and then gave up and checked your fantasy baseball team standings. I wasn’t feeling it in 30 minutes, but after an hour or so, I felt it. The best word I can use to describe this product? Lumber. It was like having a giant slab of lumber between my legs.

What is interesting is that there was very little “sensuousness” to this product. Its Chinese mushroom inspired ingredients got me hard alright, but my stiff knight took very little sensual pleasure among the surrounding bishops and rooks. Yeah, I’ve got a 2×4 jutting out of my pants, but what’s so sexy about a battering ram?


Being somewhat of a neophyte to the rainbow coalition of sexual enhancement products, I was somehow betrayed and disappointed by the promise versus the delivery. When I was young I was frisky and excitable and got boners just thinking about getting boners. There was no explanation and no need for this orchestrated and highly directed, obdurate blood flow to the penis. Suddenly, all the “pleasure” one would expect from an intimate afternoon roll-in-the hay with your honey was transformed into gawking at the physical wonder of drug assisted vasodilation. That’s hot.

Needless to say, my little wooden friend stayed up for a good 18-20 hours (Stiff Days-N-Nights??), with physical stimulation but no emotional frisson. I enjoyed it for what it was but hardly thought of this as a sexy experience. In addition, the product warned that 5% of users may experience headaches, which iwst99 definitely did, and I might have too, what with all the blood leaving my brain and going to my “summer home” for the weekend.

On top of that the Lubery sells this fine product in boxes of 30 for the why-not-finance inducing price of $164.50. The very enthusiastic counter-grrrl (tattoos, Peggy in “Mad Men” hairdo) assured me that this product was the most popular and seemed to have many repeat customers. Is someone taking attendance at a sex shop? Awwwwk-ward!


Welcome to the Lubery, Mr. Draper.


All things considered, Stiff Nights and its freaky web-based anime love trolls promised me that I would be hard for days, nothing more and nothing less. They delivered on that promise. However, I can’t see giving them any cock-swings for their pricy little product because instead of my cock, I just felt a hard spongy vessel filled with blood. I will give them two-and-a-half wood swings for providing the lumber necessary to provide a little weekend shade, though.

-Postal

---------- Post added at 01:06 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:58 PM ----------

Postal Reviews: Tango
Tango
A Bottle of 30 for $49.95
Rating: 5 Cock-Swings


My first entry into the sexual enhancement foray is with a product called Tango. So, I first received this product from the very nice and chatty owner of the company, Jim English, about six months ago, before I started my search and destroy for the ultimate in sexual edge. Jim was a fixture in San Francisco during the rave scene in the early 90s. He designed some of the first “smart drinks” that were served at these parties and went on both as a writer and product formulator with a variety of different kinds of natural health products. He first sent me this product when I was not sexually active, carrying what I could only refer to as a pizza-filled gasket of yumminess around my mid-section. I did not pay the product any mind because what’s the point of sexual enhancement when you’re by yourself? Any attempt at improving me sexually or otherwise was wholly unnecessary. Who am I looking to impress when I’m alone?


But then iwst99 came along and suddenly there was more of a need to “be all that I can be” and not because iwst99 is an army recruiter, but because I was suddenly dating someone with the sexual voracity of a jackrabbit and who was less than half my age which either makes me a pedophile or I’m lying about my age (you decide). But nevertheless, the old droopy love-making skillz practiced with my own hand in front of my non-judgmental computer was not going to cut it with my amorous and demanding young swain. So, I take two Tango (and two for you also, iwst99, why not?) and its show time.


So what would you expect would be the first thing to happen post-Tango? We fall asleep! Huh? What? Odd, we did wake up eventually. That being said, Tango offered what could only be described as a stiff source of fun for three rounds that night, and an extra roundelay the next day. Boo ya! I was more than pleasantly surprised that my first review would be a positive experience of a sexual enhancement product that actually made me hard, kept me hard pleased everyone concerned and didn’t turn my Rockefeller a sad shade of burnt sienna in the process.


So kudos, Tango – you get 5 cock-swings, as a product that delivers and doesn’t promise anything beyond being “generally restorative” and who’s ingredients include a completely unpronounceable set of Chinese Herbs (and I mean unpronounceable in English or Chinese). I don’t know what they all mean or what they do, but rock-on Tango Nutrition, perhaps my faith in the efficacy of natural sexual restoratives will take wing!!!


Highly recommended!



-Postal

Last edited by iwst99; 05-28-2009 at 05:52 PM..
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Old 05-28-2009, 01:44 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Interesting and very entertaining reading. Never heard of these before. Anymore to be tested?

What about the female analog to this?
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Old 05-28-2009, 02:02 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I'm suspicious.

That being said, a couple of his other posts couldn't possibly have been bot-generated.
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Old 05-28-2009, 02:11 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Old 05-28-2009, 02:37 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Interesting stuff.

You going to review any other sex toys?
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Old 05-28-2009, 02:44 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Hah, sorry if I did sound like a bot, I'm not. I'm not trying to sell anything either, just providing a service.

I'm posting another review in this post, it's for one of the most popular products on the market, and I can honestly say, DO NOT BUY IT. It's a waste of money and it's gotten nothing but negative complaints. The product is called ExtenZe. It available is many stores and online and they advertise everywhere.

As I type this we are currently on a product called "Cockstar." We tried it last night and it's meant to last about two days, so we're giving it the benefit of the doubt for the whole two days. After work today we're going out and buying more products, as it seems that people really enjoy these reviews and their helpful to some. Someone also asked about a gum male enhancement product called "Sexlets" (Like Chiclets) so we're in the processing of ordering that as well to try it out.

There really isn't a female analog to this, as it's two guys doing the testing (with each other) as I explained in the first post. I would be the female in this situation I guess. So far Tango has been the best product we've tested. Your man will stay rock hard with a little stimulation, and he'll feel sensual as well. I know because I felt it as well. I was surprised that it was even working the next day.

Stiff Nights gets you hard for sure, but there doesn't seem to be any sensual stimulation! He said, and I quote "my dick is so hard, I want to stick it in something really bad, but I just don't feel anything." I felt the same way, I was hard but I just wasn't feeling stimulated, even if I had my nipples rubbed and everything (which is my most erogenous zone). From what we were told from another product manufacturer it's because of the ingredients in Stiff Nights. They're not meant to get you stimulated, simply to rush your blood to your penis.

We've done Viagra as well, but we won't be reviewing that. We're doing only natural products that are available over the counter and that claim to work within at least an hour within taking them.

Below is the review for ExtenZe. Feedback for reviews or recommendations are welcome!

Postal Reviews: ExtenZe
Cherry Extenze Shooters
A 2 oz Bottle $2.99
Rating: 0 Cock-Swings


First of all I don’t really know how I feel about purchasing sexual enhancement products at a convenience store. Nothing fills a young mother with consternation at a 7-11 more than some freaky middle-aged dude perusing hard-on products while she’s trying to buy drum-sized Horchatas for her also-present niñas. I’m sure she might have considered grasping her rape whistle, but alas, she left it at home, presumably strewn about among other drum-sized beverage containers in her too-small-for-three apartment.

My personal shopper at this purchase was the jauntily named Asian shop keep Chuie. Upon requesting to be directed to a product that would “get me up”, he swiftly recommended those little “5 Hour Energy” bottles. Whereupon I discreetly said, “no something to really get me up”, whereupon his non-name-tagged co-worker suggested the new improved “14 Hour Energy” bottle. I do appreciate the salesmanship here, but I have to digress into wondering what kind of activity would require 14 consecutive hours of crystal-meth like intense energy. LeMans Driving? Open Heart Surgery? Working at this Farshlugganah 7-11? What? Presuming the language differences between “get me up” and “keep me up” were insurmountable (even after I said “no, get me up, like for sex”) I did find a small collection of odd shaped bottles that discreetly provided the promises of length, strength and girth! O Valencia! They came in the form of these tidy little Cherry Extenze Shooter bottles. Priced at the bargain-minded counter price point of $2.99 (about the equivalent of the latest issue of Jet Magazine or three forlorn looking cream cheese and jalapeño taquitos), I couldn’t resist trying out this name brand product (hey, I saw it on TV – it must be good) in the comfort of my own home.

I grabbed the cute little bottles and headed off to the Internets to be provided with a plethora of well-lit You-Tube segments gushing and fawning over the ExtenZe line of penis-centric formulations. Wow! The holy grail of sexual potency at my finger tips for the price of deep fried cream cheese! Some woman (huh?) named Bridgitta was particularly agog over the cherry beverage and I couldn’t help but wonder what sexual limb had she extended? Ah well, the product has sold millions and the production values were awesome and the owner of the company was so reassuring that iwst99 and I immediately toasted our good fortune and slugged down our little growth-bevvies, which I have to say tasted de-lish. Either like liquefied Chapstick or finely chopped Crayolas.

Suffice to say, the product said we’d be “feeling it” in 20 minutes or so. Perhaps these are the same people who say “your call is very important to us and we’ll be with you shortly” because it has now been 18 hours and I still don’t feel a fracking thing, except perhaps six bucks poorer. There is a theory in the natural products biz that says if you run your infomercial enough and sell enough of something – consumers believe it must work. While a subsequent review will get around to the flagship product of these shylocks, these Extenze Cherry Boosters are a pathetic attempt at cashing in on the notoriety gained from running late night infomercials featuring jiggly-breasted women hyperventilating over penis size. No cock-swings for you, you shameless FTC violators who put “Size”, “Pleasure” and “Performance” on the side of a bottle and then leave you flaccidly twisting in the wind. A call to your customer service number is in order. Wonder how long I’ll be on hold….



-Postal

---------- Post added at 03:44 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:43 PM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stare At The Sun View Post
Interesting stuff.

You going to review any other sex toys?
Well, we do have some toys but I'm not sure if we're going to review those. We'll start off small for now I think. There are hundreds of these products to review so we'll keep ourselves busy!
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Old 05-28-2009, 03:05 PM   #7 (permalink)
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These are great, cant wait to read more. Dave and I always wonder about these things whenever we see the commercials that are always coupled with the ones for that onlinebootycall . com lol

Im anxious to hear about (to me) the most "famous" one Enzyte
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Old 05-28-2009, 03:20 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Last time I checked Enzyte they made you sign up for their trial and then they sent you their product over and over and it was hard to cancel, kind of like those CD buying scams from way back when. I'll see if we can get some pills without getting trapped.

Glad you enjoyed them!
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Old 05-28-2009, 03:31 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I thought Enzyte was claiming to be big dick pills, not hard dick pills.
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Old 05-28-2009, 04:09 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by twistedmosaic View Post
I thought Enzyte was claiming to be big dick pills, not hard dick pills.
This is from their site:

Quote:
If you're looking for stronger, firmer, easier to achieve erections, it's time to try Enzyte. Enzyte is the original, once-daily tablet for Natural Male Enhancement, enjoyed by over 3 million men worldwide. Taken once a day, Enzyte supports the strongest, most powerful erections possible to help you achieve peak sexual enhancement.
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Old 05-28-2009, 05:15 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Heh, Twisted me and you both. I never once thought they were forr ED. Thanks for clarifyng iwst99
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Old 05-28-2009, 05:51 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Almost done with the Cockstar review.
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Old 05-28-2009, 08:44 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iwst99 View Post
There really isn't a female analog to this, as it's two guys doing the testing (with each other) as I explained in the first post.
Yeah, I didn't mean from you but I wondered if someone else could do the same for female equivalents.

Thanks for these reviews, I've never heard of any of them. Will keep them in mind though for that special weekend.
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Old 05-28-2009, 09:27 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Cockstar
A 2-pill sample $7.95 Available At Sex Shops
On-Line 7-pill sampler $17.97
Rating: Double Middle Fingers


Have you ever walked down the street and saw someone you thought looked familiar then smiled and waved at them? They then smiled and waved back at you only to realize you didn’t know them. Soon thereafter they dragged you into an alley, beat you senseless, stole your money and left you lying there bloody and demoralized?

Well that’s how I felt after taking Cockstar, a sexual enhancement product that urged me to “rock with my cock!” What they really urged me to do was to spend my hard earned Washingtons on a pill so completely without effect that I would have gotten more turned on watching the DVD extras of “Leprechaun 4: In Space”.

As you can see, they are quite obviously trading off the name of a “hip designer bevy”.



Hey now, you’re a Cockstar.



Of course I get the connection; a delicious caffeine-laden “youth” drink (yum) combined with a stupid sex product with a yellow star in its name! Obviously they are related in some way! A million dollar product distributed in every grocery store, drug store and convenience market in the country has a subsidiary that is a stupid sex pill with misspellings on its own label (”sustains during partys”). Of course, it’s the same brand! I must have it!

What’s even more galling is the website address listed on this product. When you go to this website Cockstar is nowhere to be found. Instead, this faux nutraceutical site features a bunch of other sexual enhancement products like: Cabron! Happy Campers, Conejita, Morning Wood, Kaboom, Petrified Wood, Sexo Loco and more. All these products are targeted to different stupidly self-identifying target markets, including, I kid you not, one specifically targeted to low riders!! Shrewd move, shitbirds!




All my friends blow the low rider.



Why am I wasting another keystroke on this utterly good-for-nothing piece of crap product that produced absolutely no results whatsoever? The purpose of taking male sexual enhancement formulas is for “enhancing” the experience of being with another person. If inevitably the product doesn’t work, you work with what you have. However, if you sadly (but sincerely) confer the hopes for pleasing your mate on the shallow marketing words (full erections, control of orgasms, stamina to last, more pleasure) of some faceless shill company, the disappointment of a useless product can have the reverse effect. I was not feeling particularly randy after realizing Cockstar had no plans to help me to please my partner after such overheated promises. It left the building with my money and two underage roadies. The fragile egos of middle aged men who have come to rely on “a little help” to keep their Johnsons aimed towards the pleasure dome can be sucker-punched in the nuts by these ass-wipes. They know good and well that most people won’t complain or try to return their inferior junk, so they keep on selling it. Maybe that’s why I am here. My review: Don’t buy this product. It does nothing other than make you laugh when you say “Cockstar” and that, I can personally guarantee, you can do for free.



-Postal
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Old 05-29-2009, 09:07 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Postal, why not sign up for your own account, so that we can keep track of you and iwst99? Also, I'm too fearful to take pills full of random herbs. I'm just not a risktaker.
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Old 05-29-2009, 09:27 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Redlemon View Post
Postal, why not sign up for your own account, so that we can keep track of you and iwst99? Also, I'm too fearful to take pills full of random herbs. I'm just not a risktaker.
Postal only writes the reviews and doesn't handle anything online related when it comes to posting the reviews (we make video reviews as well and have everything up on our site), I'm the tech-y one. I'm posting the reviews and embedding the images, and I put the -Postal at the end of the review because he wrote it. I did show him the comments though and is excited to try some new products. We went shopping yesterday and bought some more.

They did have Enzyte at the store but you have to buy a 30 day supply for 40 bucks, and it's a once a day pill, which is eventually supposed to increase the functions of your penis. This would not work for us since we only test products that offer instant resulsts, within an hour or so.

As for the ingredients, we did do some research on the ingredients and have a friend that manufactures a product like this, so he tells us why certain pills work a certain way. We're not that afraid to try the all natural products. I am planning on making a small database with all the ingredients of the products we've tried so far, and what each one does. A lot of the products use similar ingredients, so this shouldn't be too hard to do. Eventually we might be able to tell beforehand what each product will do before we event try it.
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Old 05-29-2009, 09:32 AM   #17 (permalink)
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These reviews are great! They are informative and entertaining. Keep them cumming!
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Old 05-29-2009, 10:19 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by lostgirl View Post
These reviews are great! They are informative and entertaining. Keep them cumming!
For sure! Thanks for reading.


If anyone is interested, below is the first post Postal made for his reviews. It was basically a backstory of why we're doing what we do. He wrote this before ever writing the first review.

Who is Postal?

Postal’s Sexual Enhancement Reviews


I am sure you know one of these people. The minute you let out the smallest cough or sneeze, they come running at you, patchouli-laced, soy-breathed, holding a panoply of tea formulas, Echinacea-based tinctures, free-radical beating anti-oxidant super-foods, pills, elixirs and salves all designed to bring even a potential cold or flu to it’s knees before even the first sinus has dripped. They are well-meaning, earnest and abso-certain that you can heal yourself faster with their “natural remedies” than any raft of drugs available from those evil culprits at “big pharma”.


Do they work? If you chew on a Zicam or some other such “natural preventive” do you really know whether your cold will last 3 days less? Who the heck knows? But these well meaning folks, fresh off a visit to the MySpace page of Woodstock’s 40th Anniversary Tie-Dye Festival will swear up and down that everything, ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING can be cured with a dab of milk thistle behind each ear.


How do I know about this stuff? For some 20 odd years I have worked as a marketing executive in the field of natural products and health and I swear on a stack of Prevention Magazines, I believe every single claim that they make as long as I am paid to believe it. For the most part I have listened to every marketing pitch, looked at every research paper, and subjected myself to every “real life” testimonial the same way a deaf grandfather would react to his grandson’s piano recital; with the desperately bemused smile reserved for the mentally retarded.


Does it mean that none of this stuff works? Could four to five aisles of every Whole Foods Stores truly be just a thousand-SKU’d WTFs? Sure, the placebo effect is strong. Surely the logic of a thousand exotic sounding supplements buried deep in the elk tusks of long lost Andean creatures hold some healing benefit. Surely a thousand anecdotal stories of swift returns from death’s door provide some basis for creating a kajillion dollar industry that heals with the unerring accuracy of God’s own divining rod. Right?


To all this I say who cares? If I slam my hand in a car door, take an Advil and tell myself I’ll feel better, perhaps I will. If I don’t feel better I’ll take an Oxycotin, or a blunt object to the nads or the gas pipe.


However, now I fall into the category of wanting something from this crap-strewn “natural health” industry. As a sexually active man in my extremely late 30’s, my staff of life has somewhat withered into a noodle of uncertainty. If I knit my brow real hard and concentrate really really intensely on the object of my lust, I can perhaps release a few knuckle babies into the universe with the same enthusiasm that Gary Wright sings “Dream Weaver” during his state-fair tour. I can still do it, but it requires way more effort than it used to.


If mixing metaphors and speaking in veiled reference is not your thing, let’s just cut to the chase. Natural products industry, I want my dick hard the way it was during the Reagan administration. Your endless come-ons about firmness, passion, length, girth, mirth, fulfillment, sturdiness, pleasure, jizz, volume, sensuality, rigidity, fuckability has brought even this disbeliever to his knees and at your feet. Give me turgidity or give me death!


Sure, there’s the drug industry with their pretty blue and pink pills offering sexual nirvana for $10 a pop. Of course, first you must discuss your droopy wiener with your doctor. Then you have to plan your sex properly in advance and remember not to eat for 3-4 hours prior to incursion. Plus God forbid if your partner wants more than a one-night only fuck-n-dash and your meter has expired and you didn’t pack extra. And I hope you don’t mind head-pounding blue tinged blood-and-heart pounding spasms. And nothing like a visit from your Mom while still tenting on Viagra three hours later. And kiss all sexual spontaneity goodbye. Yeah, bring all that on you fuckers. That’s what I call sexual value!


So, natural products industry, I now call you on the carpet. Now that it matters TO ME, I want your come-ons to mean something. Hard cock when I want it? Yup! No side-effects? Check! Leave them wanting more? Right on! Right on! Feel 20 again? Sign me up! I am going to use your products like there’s no tomorrow, all with the exquisite promise of making me the sexual stud-muffin I always envision for myself in a land where porn-karaoke is not only permitted but encouraged. I’m going to pop every pill, drink every drink and stand on my own nut sac if necessary to partake in the exquisite pleasures you market. My dear natural product friends, I will be either rejoicing in the turgid pleasure you provide or exposing you as the rancid carnival-barking charlatans I deep down know you probably are. I will be trying and reviewing every product that promises libidinous volume. I am taking your “marketing copy” at its word and sharing my findings with the world.



The only rule:

If you promise instant and hot results that’s what I am looking for. None of this “use it for a few months and see the difference” crap. You got to get me hard now and make me perform like John Holmes! That’s all that matters


Now read on as I stand ready to navigate through a sea of endless come-ons, ready to eviscerate all that do not live up to the goal of restoring my sexual prowess to its protean heights!



-Postal
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Old 05-29-2009, 10:39 AM   #19 (permalink)
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These reviews are great! They are informative and entertaining. Keep them cumming!
Agreed!

While I'm not in the market for male enhancement drugs, I enjoy Postal's humor. I can't stop laughing. Thank you for sharing these reviews with us!
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Old 06-05-2009, 11:53 AM   #20 (permalink)
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We've updated our profile on here with more info on other reviews and our video reviews as well! Check it if you're bored.

New Review:

Zyrexin
Available at: Rite-Aid, other drug stores
Price: $24.99 10 capsule pack
Rating: Perhaps 1/16 of a cockswing, maybe!


Perhaps this is apropos of nothing, but before I get to today’s review, I feel the overwhelming desire to point out the alarming physical resemblance between two multiple Emmy-award television icons.



The nexus of no-chi and gnocchi.

At any given time, both of these oddly androgynous celebs have given me moments of laughter, fear, terror and sadness and I certainly look forward to more couch potato time with these two appealing New Yawk-accented thespians.

That being said, I look forward to spending no additional time with the blue-painted sexual enhancement product Zyrexin. This product reinforces the 2008 presidential race gotcha-phrase “you can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig.”



Oink oink

First off, rub this pill and the blue food coloring comes off in your hands, like a cheap tattoo you get at a monster truck rally. Then the product label cannot even keep its story straight; on one side it says works in an hour, on the other side it says it works in 45 minutes. On one side it says “doctor approved” and on the other side it says “this product is not intended to diagnose, treat cure or prevent any disease”

So why would a doctor approve it? The only reason I go to a doctor is to have him or her diagnose, treat, cure or prevent a disease. Am I to go to my doctor just so they can approve of my use of this product during fornication? Gosh, not with my high co-pay.

On top of that, this product claims to be rated the #1 natural sex pill in the world. Of course there is no reference to what world that would be. Wally World? The World Bank? World of Warcraft? So we have a product that looks like a drug, is named like a drug, claims to work like a drug, is sold in drug stores and is approved by doctors. Land sakes, I feel a stirring in my loins!

But alas, this product might be a gumball for all I know, except that I receive some pleasure from chewing on that. Even giving this crap the benefit of the doubt, I spent the 24 hours of pleasure it promised deciding whether I actually felt anything at all. Perhaps I could attribute one possible moment during that time to its efficacy, but c’mon. I didn't shell out $24 for a passing stiffy that could have just as easily been attributed to the wind blowing by.

In big bold letters on the side of the box Zyrexin asks the question “tired of sex pills that don’t work?” Sigh. Apparently the makers of this product and their accompanying accountants are laughing all the way to the bank over that one. Don’t bother with this shit product. It may look like a duck, walk like a duck and quack like a duck, but you’d probably get more pleasure shoving a duck up your ass and calling it a day. Dear Zyrexin, in the words of Carmela Soprano, “the only difference between you and me is you’re going to hell when you die.”





-Postal
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Old 06-05-2009, 02:28 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Brilliant ... what does postal do for a living again?

Not that I'd ever use the pills, but this makes for fantastic reading!!
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Old 06-05-2009, 02:36 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Xerxys View Post
Brilliant ... what does postal do for a living again?

Not that I'd ever use the pills, but this makes for fantastic reading!!
Read post # 18 in this thread.

Glad you enjoyed them!
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Old 06-07-2009, 08:09 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Thanks for sharing, iwst99. The reviews are informative and hilarious !

I'm looking forward to reading more.
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Old 06-08-2009, 12:48 AM   #24 (permalink)
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Location: Australia
I'm thouroughly enjoying reading these myself actually so here's my contribution to the list of male enhancement things 'I' have tested

Australian made so some of you might not see this around commonly.



The idea with this is a little different to that of most male enhacement formulas, it is NOT I repeat NOT designed to be used only before sex. The idea is that every morning or evening you massage a couple of drops of the oil onto the penis. The vasodilators cause increased bloor flow to the penis which expands it both in terms of length and girth.

Strangely enough this stuff actually works though I can't say the SO has noticed any increased sensitivity, he has gone up a few condom sizes now ( used to be in the tighter fitting category and now can't fit into them without it being painful

Thus far we've tried this product on 6 different guys and 4 of them have had a positive reaction (personally I think the other two might not have read the instructions, it's been the case before)

We haven't tried the Maxo they make yet but we've ordered a box into the store and the SO signed us up as test bunnies again so you might hear from me again soon!
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Old 06-08-2009, 06:10 AM   #25 (permalink)
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Location: NY
These are great posts! But the reviews you're posting seem to be more of the Viagra-type, pills that keep you hard. When I think of male enhancement, I think of those mythical pills that will make your penis grow to be larger and in charge, kind of like miracle grow for dicks.
It's just semantics, but I figured I'd put my two cents in.
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Old 06-08-2009, 06:48 AM   #26 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainRow View Post
These are great posts! But the reviews you're posting seem to be more of the Viagra-type, pills that keep you hard. When I think of male enhancement, I think of those mythical pills that will make your penis grow to be larger and in charge, kind of like miracle grow for dicks.
It's just semantics, but I figured I'd put my two cents in.
Some of these products claim that and more. ExtenZe for example claimed to make you bigger just by taking the small little bottle. Searching for Male Enhancement online is going to give you a wide array of these "viagra type" products and more. You call them as you wish though.

Oh, and although you might not consider Viagra a Male Enhancer, it is considered a Sports Enchancer. http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/23/sp...agra.html?_r=1
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Old 06-10-2009, 07:28 PM   #27 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iwst99 View Post
It may look like a duck, walk like a duck and quack like a duck, but you’d probably get more pleasure shoving a duck up your ass and calling it a day.
-Postal
this is worth the reading alone! great stuff, keep up the good work.
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Old 06-11-2009, 05:48 AM   #28 (permalink)
Addict
 
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Location: WA
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hyacinthe View Post
The idea is that every morning or evening you massage a couple of drops of the oil onto the penis. The vasodilators cause increased bloor flow to the penis which expands it both in terms of length and girth.

Strangely enough this stuff actually works though I can't say the SO has noticed any increased sensitivity, he has gone up a few condom sizes now ( used to be in the tighter fitting category and now can't fit into them without it being painful

Thus far we've tried this product on 6 different guys and 4 of them have had a positive reaction (personally I think the other two might not have read the instructions, it's been the case before)
Very tempting. But size is secondary, prolonged erection is what would be a boon
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Old 06-19-2009, 03:35 PM   #29 (permalink)
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I'm curious when we'll get another of Postal's reviews! I love the humor.
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Old 06-19-2009, 04:15 PM   #30 (permalink)
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Hell, I'm thinking about rubbing some of that Aussie "Up" oil on my chicken nugget biceps.

...

Great posts, Postal. They're a hoot.
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Old 06-25-2009, 10:35 AM   #31 (permalink)
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Location: California
Hey guys!

There is a new post coming soon, it's already written but I have to edit it before he revises it again. The reason I haven't been updating is because I was working on a project for Postal the last 3 weeks. He just turned 50 and I wanted to make a special video gift for him. I'm going to post it here, but I'm afraid it will be removed, but I understand if the moderators want to remove it. It took 50 of his family and friends to make, and I threw a surprise birthday party for him and had all his family and friends there and then we played the video for him on the projector. Here is the video:

Dave's 50th Birthday Video Gift on Vimeo

More reviews soon, I promise!
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Old 06-25-2009, 11:41 AM   #32 (permalink)
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Location: Yonder
Okay, that was ADORABLE.
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Old 06-26-2009, 03:01 AM   #33 (permalink)
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This post is really informative and gave a better understanding about male enhancement. Hopefully this would help answer the questions that others might have in mind.
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Old 06-26-2009, 06:59 AM   #34 (permalink)
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So special, iwst!
Thanks for sharing so much with us!
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Old 06-26-2009, 07:11 AM   #35 (permalink)
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Location: Japan!!!
That was a totally awesome video. Well done!
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Old 07-02-2009, 09:43 PM   #36 (permalink)
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your reviews are fantastic, and well written, thanks for all your effort.
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Old 07-02-2009, 11:58 PM   #37 (permalink)
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Location: London, UK
Thought it might interest people to know that I ordered some of that Tango stuff and tried it today.

It works, no joke. I half expected it not to, but it did. The experience was kind of strange: with only one pill (I decided to start small), I slowly got an erection over the course of maybe 10 minutes, which I wasn't sure if it was just natural/placebo or not, but then it didn't go away (typically I can make a random erection go away just by consciously calming myself) and then my body felt kind of... sensitized and lusty was the only way I can describe it. I began slightly flushed, and I felt...passionately woozy. Not outright horny, but passionate and sensual. I would look around at women and have this desire to grab them and make love to them. It was really weird; unfortunately none of the women around were viable candidates.

The strongest part of the effect wore off after about an hour, with lingeringness for another hour afterwards. I didn't actually DO anything with it, so I'm not sure if it might persist with more stimulation (after being surprised that it was working and finding that I didn't have a real outlet, I actively tried to dampen things by ignoring it) and again, this was just one pill.

It does have one unpleasant side effect - if you burp, the smell that comes up is awful. The pill is made from various Chinese herbs and fungi, and it smells terrible, so the smell from deep in your throat carries the smell - I tried to drink something to wash it out but that just resulted in more burps that smelled awful (in fact, the fungal-whatever odor would dominate the flavor of the drink). I'm not sure if it would be noticeable enough to a third party as bad breath. But MAN does that stuff smell. I took the original pill without water, so maybe either you're supposed to wash the initial pill down with something, or just don't kiss when you're using this stuff.

Next up: two pills, and trying it before some real activity. I'll report back.

(yes, I am new here; just registered)
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Old 07-03-2009, 04:35 AM   #38 (permalink)
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B wing : Awesome, you tried one. That takes a bit of guts. Great to see another positive review.
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Old 07-04-2009, 06:11 AM   #39 (permalink)
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A 72 hour hard on sounds like a bit much to me?
And 5 mins recovery time is hardly enough to catch your breathe.

If you screw someone properly they really shouldnt be ready to start again 5 mins later.
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Old 07-04-2009, 08:57 PM   #40 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Strange Famous View Post
A 72 hour hard on sounds like a bit much to me?
And 5 mins recovery time is hardly enough to catch your breathe.

If you screw someone properly they really shouldnt be ready to start again 5 mins later.
Speak for yourself. My ex had a refractory period measured in minutes. The man was a freak of nature...it was fabulous.
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