iwst99

I tried posting this yesterday, but I made the mistake of linking to my site. That wasn't the point of my original thread, I just wanted to share male enhancement reviews with people that might be interested. There are so many of these products and many men do need them, and I can't stand seeing so many products out there that claim all this nonesense and don't provide. There are legitimate products out there, it's just hard to find them. It also doesn't help that if you google "male enhancement reviews" all you will get is fake websites designed by the companies themselves to bad mouth other products and praise their own.

It's my BF and I that test the products. He needs them more than I do as I am a lot younger and still don't really need them, BUT, they do help in some cases make things a lot more fun, even for a younger person. I know we're two guys, but who better to test these products than two males, since obviously the product is targeted for males (and maybe some hermaphrodites). Also, our reviews don't really talk about anything gay related, if some people are bothered by that. He writes the reviews and I simply help him "test" the products.

Hopefully someone will find some use out of these, and maybe recommend one to try that maybe they've tried before or are curious about. We just started this recently so we don't have too many, but work on them as much as we can. The first product review I'm posting up is called "Stiff Nights." It's available in most sex shops I believe, as well as online. Buying it in the store can be a rip off though. His Screen Name is Postal and mine is iwst99.



The folks at Stiff Nights are old-school drug dealers. They will not let you buy their product. They will let you try the product (or “ have a taste” as they would say in the imagined crack dens of my youth) for the horndog-on-a-budget price of just $1.99 shipping and handling. But, heck who has the time to wait for shipping AND handling? I mean, I’m on it for the shipping, but handling, too? I’ve got places to go, dog!

Lucky for me, my local lube-and-condom shop was retailing these bad boys for the no commitment price of $7.95 per pill. Shut your mouth! For the price of admission to a matinee screening of “Chronicles of Narnia 3”, I was promised 48-72 hours of rock solid erections with recovery time between ejaculations of less than 5 minutes. Damn, I can get off continuously AND put out a fire. Now that’s value.

The product packaging had all the overheated promise of being young, intense, hard, yadda-yadda-yadda. I especially liked their catch phrase “regain the thunder”. Visions of neon bolts shooting out my urethra (oh wait, that would be regain the lightning)…oh well, never mind, thunder is just not that visual….

Rebels that we are, iwst99 and I gulped our Stiff Nights at 11am on a Saturday morning. Why would Stiff Nights so baldly discriminate against the daylight hours? Who the hell are they, vampires? And since I am about to be rock-hard for the next 48 hours, what the heck is that name talking about anyway? Might I suggest the name Stiff Fortnights?

The product label promised action in 30 minutes. The website promised it takes effect in 1-2 hours. I guess if you have the time to go check out the website, you were probably waiting around for something to happen in the first 30 minutes and then gave up and checked your fantasy baseball team standings. I wasn’t feeling it in 30 minutes, but after an hour or so, I felt it. The best word I can use to describe this product? Lumber. It was like having a giant slab of lumber between my legs.

What is interesting is that there was very little “sensuousness” to this product. Its Chinese mushroom inspired ingredients got me hard alright, but my stiff knight took very little sensual pleasure among the surrounding bishops and rooks. Yeah, I’ve got a 2×4 jutting out of my pants, but what’s so sexy about a battering ram?


Being somewhat of a neophyte to the rainbow coalition of sexual enhancement products, I was somehow betrayed and disappointed by the promise versus the delivery. When I was young I was frisky and excitable and got boners just thinking about getting boners. There was no explanation and no need for this orchestrated and highly directed, obdurate blood flow to the penis. Suddenly, all the “pleasure” one would expect from an intimate afternoon roll-in-the hay with your honey was transformed into gawking at the physical wonder of drug assisted vasodilation. That’s hot.

Needless to say, my little wooden friend stayed up for a good 18-20 hours (Stiff Days-N-Nights??), with physical stimulation but no emotional frisson. I enjoyed it for what it was but hardly thought of this as a sexy experience. In addition, the product warned that 5% of users may experience headaches, which iwst99 definitely did, and I might have too, what with all the blood leaving my brain and going to my “summer home” for the weekend.

On top of that the Lubery sells this fine product in boxes of 30 for the why-not-finance inducing price of $164.50. The very enthusiastic counter-grrrl (tattoos, Peggy in “Mad Men” hairdo) assured me that this product was the most popular and seemed to have many repeat customers. Is someone taking attendance at a sex shop? Awwwwk-ward!



All things considered, Stiff Nights and its freaky web-based anime love trolls promised me that I would be hard for days, nothing more and nothing less. They delivered on that promise. However, I can’t see giving them any cock-swings for their pricy little product because instead of my cock, I just felt a hard spongy vessel filled with blood. I will give them two-and-a-half wood swings for providing the lumber necessary to provide a little weekend shade, though.

-Postal

---------- Post added at 01:06 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:58 PM ----------


My first entry into the sexual enhancement foray is with a product called Tango. So, I first received this product from the very nice and chatty owner of the company, Jim English, about six months ago, before I started my search and destroy for the ultimate in sexual edge. Jim was a fixture in San Francisco during the rave scene in the early 90s. He designed some of the first “smart drinks” that were served at these parties and went on both as a writer and product formulator with a variety of different kinds of natural health products. He first sent me this product when I was not sexually active, carrying what I could only refer to as a pizza-filled gasket of yumminess around my mid-section. I did not pay the product any mind because what’s the point of sexual enhancement when you’re by yourself? Any attempt at improving me sexually or otherwise was wholly unnecessary. Who am I looking to impress when I’m alone?


But then iwst99 came along and suddenly there was more of a need to “be all that I can be” and not because iwst99 is an army recruiter, but because I was suddenly dating someone with the sexual voracity of a jackrabbit and who was less than half my age which either makes me a pedophile or I’m lying about my age (you decide). But nevertheless, the old droopy love-making skillz practiced with my own hand in front of my non-judgmental computer was not going to cut it with my amorous and demanding young swain. So, I take two Tango (and two for you also, iwst99, why not?) and its show time.


So what would you expect would be the first thing to happen post-Tango? We fall asleep! Huh? What? Odd, we did wake up eventually. That being said, Tango offered what could only be described as a stiff source of fun for three rounds that night, and an extra roundelay the next day. Boo ya! I was more than pleasantly surprised that my first review would be a positive experience of a sexual enhancement product that actually made me hard, kept me hard pleased everyone concerned and didn’t turn my Rockefeller a sad shade of burnt sienna in the process.


So kudos, Tango – you get 5 cock-swings, as a product that delivers and doesn’t promise anything beyond being “generally restorative” and who’s ingredients include a completely unpronounceable set of Chinese Herbs (and I mean unpronounceable in English or Chinese). I don’t know what they all mean or what they do, but rock-on Tango Nutrition, perhaps my faith in the efficacy of natural sexual restoratives will take wing!!!


Highly recommended!



-Postal