Cockstar
A 2-pill sample $7.95 Available At Sex Shops
On-Line 7-pill sampler $17.97
Rating: Double Middle Fingers
Have you ever walked down the street and saw someone you thought looked familiar then smiled and waved at them? They then smiled and waved back at you only to realize you didn’t know them. Soon thereafter they dragged you into an alley, beat you senseless, stole your money and left you lying there bloody and demoralized?
Well that’s how I felt after taking Cockstar, a sexual enhancement product that urged me to “rock with my cock!” What they really urged me to do was to spend my hard earned Washingtons on a pill so completely without effect that I would have gotten more turned on watching the DVD extras of “Leprechaun 4: In Space”.
As you can see, they are quite obviously trading off the name of a “hip designer bevy”.
Hey now, you’re a Cockstar.
Of course I get the connection; a delicious caffeine-laden “youth” drink (yum) combined with a stupid sex product with a yellow star in its name! Obviously they are related in some way! A million dollar product distributed in every grocery store, drug store and convenience market in the country has a subsidiary that is a stupid sex pill with misspellings on its own label (”sustains during partys”). Of course, it’s the same brand! I must have it!
What’s even more galling is the website address listed on this product. When you go to this website Cockstar is nowhere to be found. Instead, this faux nutraceutical site features a bunch of other sexual enhancement products like: Cabron! Happy Campers, Conejita, Morning Wood, Kaboom, Petrified Wood, Sexo Loco and more. All these products are targeted to different stupidly self-identifying target markets, including, I kid you not, one specifically targeted to low riders!! Shrewd move, shitbirds!
All my friends blow the low rider.
Why am I wasting another keystroke on this utterly good-for-nothing piece of crap product that produced absolutely no results whatsoever? The purpose of taking male sexual enhancement formulas is for “enhancing” the experience of being with another person. If inevitably the product doesn’t work, you work with what you have. However, if you sadly (but sincerely) confer the hopes for pleasing your mate on the shallow marketing words (full erections, control of orgasms, stamina to last, more pleasure) of some faceless shill company, the disappointment of a useless product can have the reverse effect. I was not feeling particularly randy after realizing Cockstar had no plans to help me to please my partner after such overheated promises. It left the building with my money and two underage roadies. The fragile egos of middle aged men who have come to rely on “a little help” to keep their Johnsons aimed towards the pleasure dome can be sucker-punched in the nuts by these ass-wipes. They know good and well that most people won’t complain or try to return their inferior junk, so they keep on selling it. Maybe that’s why I am here. My review: Don’t buy this product. It does nothing other than make you laugh when you say “Cockstar” and that, I can personally guarantee, you can do for free.
-Postal