Sexy Things To Say To A Naked Woman - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

ASU2003 · 01-07-2009, 10:49 PM

I thought about this today and how I have pretty much no clue what to say. And I'm sure there are a wide variety of things to say to one girl but not to another. Then there are a bunch of things you should never say. The last naked girl I saw was a stripper and she was griding her clit back and forth on my pants, and I asked her "Doesn't that hurt?" Probably not a normal thing to ask, but I care about others too much.

I did do some research on-line, but thought I would ask it here. What things should you say, or what things to you want to hear? I'm really more interested in hearing the good things to say, but the bad one make better stories afterwards if you are still together.

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Mix 94.1 Today?s Best Music Mix // Las Vegas - Things Not To Say To A Naked Woman

This is the Men's Health List, but there are some bad ones there. wow. The links after this list comment on which ones aren't too good.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Men's Health

1. "Good morning."

2. "Is it okay with you if I take this slow?"

3. "I can't stop touching you."

4. "Want to join me in the shower?"

5. "I want to kiss/lick/touch every inch of you."

6. "I love how you taste."

7. "Do you feel this, too?" ("This" being an incredible emotional euphoria.)

8. "Hungry? Stay right here. I'll go make you a burrito."

9. Her name—her full name—followed by a "Wow."

10. "I'll get the light."

11. "I'll cancel my plans if you'll stay here with me for the rest of the weekend."

12. "No one's ever done that before."

13. "Can we do that again?"

14. "I love your [fill in body part here]."

15. Nothing. Total, deliberate silence. You can stare at her, grab her, touch her, but don't make a sound. If she tries to talk, place a finger on her lips.

16. While looking out the window at people not currently in bed with her: "Suckers."

17. While looking at moonlight reflecting on the ceiling: "What do you see?"

18. "I'll go make coffee."

19. "Waking up with you is even better than sleeping with you."

20. "Let's play hooky today."

21. Any use of the word "hot." Especially: "You're so hot."

22. "Squeeze my hand when it feels really amazing."

23. Words that end in "uck." Yes, even "duck," when appropriate.

24. "There's nothing else I'd rather be doing right now.

25. "I'm ready to go again."

26. Damn, I've missed you."

27. "How about a massage?"

28. Playful laughter.

29. "Don't ever leave me."

30. "You sleep; I'll go check on the baby."

College OTR: The Thirty Most Idiotic Things to Say to a Naked Woman

What Not To Say To A Naked Woman | The Frisky

inBOIL · 01-08-2009, 01:51 AM

Look deep into her eyes and say "I can make you feel like I've never had sex before"

SabrinaFair · 01-08-2009, 05:51 AM

Sexiest Things I've Ever Heard While Naked:
*"I have to taste you."
*"Tell me you're mine."
*"I've thought all day about fucking you."
*"Tell me how much you want me."

MSD · 01-08-2009, 06:23 AM

If it's more than a one-night stand, you know you're with the right person when anything you say is the right thing. More so if you can say something stupid and both get a laugh out of it.

Jozrael · 01-08-2009, 06:44 AM

Gotta say that burrito one is ridiculous.

Cynosure · 01-08-2009, 08:01 AM

Sexy? Maybe. Surefire? No. These things to say to a naked woman do not always get positive results, depending on the woman and/or the situation. Like, I can imagine some negative responses to some of these sayings...

He says, "Good morning." She says, "Ugh. Go brush your teeth."

He says, "Is it okay with you if I take this slow?" She says, "No, let's just get this over with."

He says, "I can't stop touching you." She says, "I know! You're bugging the hell out of me."

He says, "I want to kiss/lick/touch every inch of you." She says, "No, don't – I'm not feeling, uh, fresh, today."

He says, "I love how you taste." She says, "Well, I don't. So, please don't kiss me, afterward."

He says, "Do you feel this, too?" She says, "Feel what?"

He says, "Hungry? Stay right here. I'll go make you a burrito." She says, "Okay, but burritos make me gassy."

YourInspiration · 01-08-2009, 08:12 AM

Lol. Cynosure, I enjoyed reading your post.
It is sadly the reality of it all. -x0-

snowy · 01-08-2009, 09:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jozrael

Gotta say that burrito one is ridiculous.

I don't know about that...one of the sexiest things my guy has offered to do for me afterward was to make me a PBJ. Post-coital PBJs are delicious.

I'm with MSD--if you are with the right person, whatever you say is fine. My SO and I say the most ridiculous things to each other sometimes, trying to get the other person to laugh. Sex is not always about being sexy...sometimes it's just about having some fun with someone you love.

World's King · 01-08-2009, 09:39 AM

How much do I owe you?

Halx · 01-08-2009, 10:03 AM

"Much better than your sister."

nomcat · 01-08-2009, 10:36 AM

"That thing you do with your tongue must be hereditary."

Willravel · 01-08-2009, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by inBOIL

Look deep into her eyes and say "I can make you feel like I've never had sex before"

That's the best thing I've ever read.

And I read a lot of Hemingway.

Cimarron29414 · 01-08-2009, 01:19 PM

This thread is comedy gold. Love it!

lostgirl · 01-08-2009, 01:26 PM

Snowy and MSD are absolutely right. If you are with the right person, it will never matter what you say.

Unless you say what Halx, Nom, and WK said. :P Even then it could all be in fun.

elgeebar · 01-08-2009, 03:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by World's King

How much do I owe you?

ROFL
-----Added 8/1/2009 at 06 : 25 : 01-----

Quote:

Originally Posted by Halx

"Much better than your sister."

ROFLMAO

biznatch · 01-08-2009, 07:15 PM

From tshirt hell: "I shaved my balls for this?"

blahblah454 · 01-08-2009, 08:09 PM

These are good. I can always count on the good folks of TFP to steer me in the right direction

Anormalguy · 01-08-2009, 09:40 PM

I know a couple of good plastic surgeons, I can give you their numbers.

Note: I knew a fellow in medical sales who made the mistake of asking his fiance if she had ever thought about getting breast implants. She said yes, but not as much as she had thought about him getting a penile implant

.

Daniel_ · 01-08-2009, 11:56 PM

To borrow from Homer Simpson:

"Can't talk - eating"

asaris · 01-09-2009, 03:54 AM

"Your body is a wonderland."

I actually used this once; we couldn't stop giggling for five minutes afterwards.

Baraka_Guru · 01-09-2009, 04:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by asaris

"Your body is a wonderland."

I actually used this once; we couldn't stop giggling for five minutes afterwards.

Oh, man, that would have brought us both to tears, especially considering the major theme park just north of the city here is Canada's Wonderland.

"I'd get in line for that ride...."

snowy · 01-09-2009, 08:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru

Oh, man, that would have brought us both to tears, especially considering the major theme park just north of the city here is Canada's Wonderland.

"I'd get in line for that ride...."

We take a line from Family Guy and sub out parts to tease each other with it: "You must be this beautiful to ride the Quagmire."

Hyacinthe · 01-09-2009, 11:51 PM

I don't know - the partner and I don't really say anything when stripping - just lots of cuddling - the clientele at work have said some nice things though

"God you look even better then I imagined"

"You should be an illegal substance, your body is addictive" (definitely my favourite)

"Stay there a second? You look so amazing I just want to enjoy the view for a moment"

The SO and I tend to say stupid things after sex though - ok generally me such as

"Awww now I don't know math"

"You fucked my brains out, and I'm a bright girl so that's alot of fucking"

(After Oral on him) "Oh I think you poked my brain"

Strange Famous · 01-10-2009, 04:01 PM

That Mens Health list is very corny

Try

1 - fucking hell

2 - Im going to give you a damn good rogering

3 - right! right!

World's King · 01-10-2009, 05:21 PM

"My dick just died. Can I bury it in your asshole?"

icevrething · 01-11-2009, 12:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by World's King

"My dick just died. Can I bury it in your asshole?"

LOL

digme · 01-11-2009, 07:56 AM

this thread is comedy platinum!

blahblah454 · 01-11-2009, 09:13 AM

WK you must let us know how that last one went over.

dlish · 01-11-2009, 09:37 AM

who the hell are you?

Daniel_ · 01-11-2009, 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by World's King

"My dick just died. Can I bury it in your asshole?"

Can I come to the wake?

Derwood · 01-11-2009, 02:14 PM

The money's on the dresser. You better be gone by the time I'm out of the shower.

stevie667 · 01-11-2009, 03:43 PM

Your packing an awful lot of heat to be a woman.

dlish · 01-11-2009, 07:11 PM

my wife's back in half an hour

01-08-2009, 01:51 AM	#2 (permalink)
inBOIL I have eaten the slaw	Look deep into her eyes and say "I can make you feel like I've never had sex before" __________________ And you believe Bush and the liberals and divorced parents and gays and blacks and the Christian right and fossil fuels and Xbox are all to blame, meanwhile you yourselves create an ad where your kid hits you in the head with a baseball and you don't understand the message that the problem is you.

01-08-2009, 05:51 AM	#3 (permalink)
SabrinaFair Junkie Location: Louisville, KY	Sexiest Things I've Ever Heard While Naked: "I have to taste you." "Tell me you're mine." "I've thought all day about fucking you." "Tell me how much you want me." __________________ "With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy." -Desiderata

01-08-2009, 08:01 AM	#6 (permalink)
Cynosure Psycho Location: the center of the multiverse	Sexy? Maybe. Surefire? No. These things to say to a naked woman do not always get positive results, depending on the woman and/or the situation. Like, I can imagine some negative responses to some of these sayings... He says, "Good morning." She says, "Ugh. Go brush your teeth." He says, "Is it okay with you if I take this slow?" She says, "No, let's just get this over with." He says, "I can't stop touching you." She says, "I know! You're bugging the hell out of me." He says, "I want to kiss/lick/touch every inch of you." She says, "No, don't – I'm not feeling, uh, fresh, today." He says, "I love how you taste." She says, "Well, I don't. So, please don't kiss me, afterward." He says, "Do you feel this, too?" She says, "Feel what?" He says, "Hungry? Stay right here. I'll go make you a burrito." She says, "Okay, but burritos make me gassy." Last edited by Cynosure; 01-08-2009 at 08:04 AM..

01-08-2009, 09:39 AM	#9 (permalink)
World's King Here Location: Denver City Denver	How much do I owe you? __________________ heavy is the head that wears the crown

01-08-2009, 10:03 AM	#10 (permalink)
Halx Please touch this. Owner/Admin Location: Manhattan	"Much better than your sister." __________________ You have found this post informative. -The Administrator [Don't Feed The Animals]

01-08-2009, 06:23 AM	#4 (permalink)
MSD The sky calls to us ... Super Moderator Location: CT	If it's more than a one-night stand, you know you're with the right person when anything you say is the right thing. More so if you can say something stupid and both get a laugh out of it.

01-08-2009, 06:44 AM	#5 (permalink)
Jozrael Junkie	Gotta say that burrito one is ridiculous.

01-08-2009, 08:12 AM	#7 (permalink)
YourInspiration Upright	Lol. Cynosure, I enjoyed reading your post. It is sadly the reality of it all. -x0-

01-08-2009, 10:36 AM	#11 (permalink)
nomcat Twisted Location: UK	"That thing you do with your tongue must be hereditary."

01-08-2009, 01:19 PM	#13 (permalink)
Cimarron29414 Still Free Location: comfortably perched at the top of the bell curve!	This thread is comedy gold. Love it! __________________ Gives a man a halo, does mead. "Here lies The_Jazz: Killed by an ambitious, sparkly, pink butterfly."

01-08-2009, 01:26 PM	#14 (permalink)
lostgirl lightform Location: Edge of the deep green sea	Snowy and MSD are absolutely right. If you are with the right person, it will never matter what you say. Unless you say what Halx, Nom, and WK said. :P Even then it could all be in fun.

01-08-2009, 07:15 PM	#16 (permalink)
biznatch Junkie Location: France	From tshirt hell: "I shaved my balls for this?" __________________ Check it out: The Open Source/Freeware/Gratis Software Thread

01-08-2009, 08:09 PM	#17 (permalink)
blahblah454 Let's put a smile on that face Location: On the road...	These are good. I can always count on the good folks of TFP to steer me in the right direction

01-08-2009, 09:40 PM	#18 (permalink)
Anormalguy After School Special Moralist Location: Large City, Texas.	I know a couple of good plastic surgeons, I can give you their numbers. Note: I knew a fellow in medical sales who made the mistake of asking his fiance if she had ever thought about getting breast implants. She said yes, but not as much as she had thought about him getting a penile implant . __________________ In a society where the individual is not free to pursue the truth...there is neither progress, stability nor security.--Edward R. Murrow

01-08-2009, 11:56 PM	#19 (permalink)
Daniel_ Evil Priest: The Devil Made Me Do It! Location: Southern England	To borrow from Homer Simpson: "Can't talk - eating" __________________ ╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗ Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air, And deep beneath the rolling waves, In labyrinths of Coral Caves, The Echo of a distant time Comes willowing across the sand; And everthing is Green and Submarine ╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

01-09-2009, 03:54 AM	#20 (permalink)
asaris Mad Philosopher Location: Washington, DC	"Your body is a wonderland." I actually used this once; we couldn't stop giggling for five minutes afterwards. __________________ "Die Deutschen meinen, daß die Kraft sich in Härte und Grausamkeit offenbaren müsse, sie unterwerfen sich dann gerne und mit Bewunderung:[...]. Daß es Kraft giebt in der Milde und Stille, das glauben sie nicht leicht." "The Germans believe that power must reveal itself in hardness and cruelty and then submit themselves gladly and with admiration[...]. They do not believe readily that there is power in meekness and calm." -- Friedrich Nietzsche

01-09-2009, 11:51 PM	#23 (permalink)
Hyacinthe Psycho Location: Australia	I don't know - the partner and I don't really say anything when stripping - just lots of cuddling - the clientele at work have said some nice things though "God you look even better then I imagined" "You should be an illegal substance, your body is addictive" (definitely my favourite) "Stay there a second? You look so amazing I just want to enjoy the view for a moment" The SO and I tend to say stupid things after sex though - ok generally me such as "Awww now I don't know math" "You fucked my brains out, and I'm a bright girl so that's alot of fucking" (After Oral on him) "Oh I think you poked my brain" __________________ "I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is broken... and the one that could brighten up your day even if she couldnt brighten her own" "Her emotions were clear waters. You could see the scarring and pockmarks at the bottom of the pool, but it was just a part of her landscape – the consequences of others’ actions in which she claimed no part."

01-10-2009, 04:01 PM	#24 (permalink)
Strange Famous follower of the child's crusade?	That Mens Health list is very corny Try 1 - fucking hell 2 - Im going to give you a damn good rogering 3 - right! right! __________________ "Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate, for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain without being uncovered." The Gospel of Thomas

01-10-2009, 05:21 PM	#25 (permalink)
World's King Here Location: Denver City Denver	"My dick just died. Can I bury it in your asshole?" __________________ heavy is the head that wears the crown

01-11-2009, 07:56 AM	#27 (permalink)
digme Crazy Location: madison, wi	this thread is comedy platinum!

01-11-2009, 09:13 AM	#28 (permalink)
blahblah454 Let's put a smile on that face Location: On the road...	WK you must let us know how that last one went over.

01-11-2009, 09:37 AM	#29 (permalink)
dlish Currently sour but formerly Dlishs Super Moderator Location: Australia/UAE	who the hell are you? __________________ An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay? - Filthy

01-11-2009, 02:14 PM	#31 (permalink)
Derwood Who You Crappin? Location: Everywhere and Nowhere	The money's on the dresser. You better be gone by the time I'm out of the shower.

01-11-2009, 03:43 PM	#32 (permalink)
stevie667 Too Awesome for Aardvarks Location: Angloland	Your packing an awful lot of heat to be a woman. __________________ Office hours have changed. Please call during office hours for more information.

01-11-2009, 07:11 PM	#33 (permalink)
dlish Currently sour but formerly Dlishs Super Moderator Location: Australia/UAE	my wife's back in half an hour __________________ An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay? - Filthy