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ASU2003 01-07-2009 10:49 PM

Sexy Things To Say To A Naked Woman
 
I thought about this today and how I have pretty much no clue what to say. And I'm sure there are a wide variety of things to say to one girl but not to another. Then there are a bunch of things you should never say. The last naked girl I saw was a stripper and she was griding her clit back and forth on my pants, and I asked her "Doesn't that hurt?" Probably not a normal thing to ask, but I care about others too much. :)

I did do some research on-line, but thought I would ask it here. What things should you say, or what things to you want to hear? I'm really more interested in hearing the good things to say, but the bad one make better stories afterwards if you are still together.

Podcast (Audio starts playing)
Mix 94.1 Today?s Best Music Mix // Las Vegas - Things Not To Say To A Naked Woman

This is the Men's Health List, but there are some bad ones there. wow. The links after this list comment on which ones aren't too good.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Men's Health
1. "Good morning."

2. "Is it okay with you if I take this slow?"

3. "I can't stop touching you."

4. "Want to join me in the shower?"

5. "I want to kiss/lick/touch every inch of you."

6. "I love how you taste."

7. "Do you feel this, too?" ("This" being an incredible emotional euphoria.)

8. "Hungry? Stay right here. I'll go make you a burrito."

9. Her name—her full name—followed by a "Wow."

10. "I'll get the light."

11. "I'll cancel my plans if you'll stay here with me for the rest of the weekend."

12. "No one's ever done that before."

13. "Can we do that again?"

14. "I love your [fill in body part here]."

15. Nothing. Total, deliberate silence. You can stare at her, grab her, touch her, but don't make a sound. If she tries to talk, place a finger on her lips.

16. While looking out the window at people not currently in bed with her: "Suckers."

17. While looking at moonlight reflecting on the ceiling: "What do you see?"

18. "I'll go make coffee."

19. "Waking up with you is even better than sleeping with you."

20. "Let's play hooky today."

21. Any use of the word "hot." Especially: "You're so hot."

22. "Squeeze my hand when it feels really amazing."

23. Words that end in "uck." Yes, even "duck," when appropriate.

24. "There's nothing else I'd rather be doing right now.

25. "I'm ready to go again."

26. Damn, I've missed you."

27. "How about a massage?"

28. Playful laughter.

29. "Don't ever leave me."

30. "You sleep; I'll go check on the baby."

College OTR: The Thirty Most Idiotic Things to Say to a Naked Woman

What Not To Say To A Naked Woman | The Frisky

inBOIL 01-08-2009 01:51 AM

Look deep into her eyes and say "I can make you feel like I've never had sex before"

SabrinaFair 01-08-2009 05:51 AM

Sexiest Things I've Ever Heard While Naked:
*"I have to taste you."
*"Tell me you're mine."
*"I've thought all day about fucking you."
*"Tell me how much you want me."

MSD 01-08-2009 06:23 AM

If it's more than a one-night stand, you know you're with the right person when anything you say is the right thing. More so if you can say something stupid and both get a laugh out of it.

Jozrael 01-08-2009 06:44 AM

Gotta say that burrito one is ridiculous.

Cynosure 01-08-2009 08:01 AM

Sexy? Maybe. Surefire? No. These things to say to a naked woman do not always get positive results, depending on the woman and/or the situation. Like, I can imagine some negative responses to some of these sayings...

He says, "Good morning." She says, "Ugh. Go brush your teeth."

He says, "Is it okay with you if I take this slow?" She says, "No, let's just get this over with."

He says, "I can't stop touching you." She says, "I know! You're bugging the hell out of me."

He says, "I want to kiss/lick/touch every inch of you." She says, "No, don't – I'm not feeling, uh, fresh, today."

He says, "I love how you taste." She says, "Well, I don't. So, please don't kiss me, afterward."

He says, "Do you feel this, too?" She says, "Feel what?"

He says, "Hungry? Stay right here. I'll go make you a burrito." She says, "Okay, but burritos make me gassy."

:p

YourInspiration 01-08-2009 08:12 AM

Lol. Cynosure, I enjoyed reading your post.
It is sadly the reality of it all. -x0-

snowy 01-08-2009 09:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jozrael (Post 2581055)
Gotta say that burrito one is ridiculous.

I don't know about that...one of the sexiest things my guy has offered to do for me afterward was to make me a PBJ. Post-coital PBJs are delicious.

I'm with MSD--if you are with the right person, whatever you say is fine. My SO and I say the most ridiculous things to each other sometimes, trying to get the other person to laugh. Sex is not always about being sexy...sometimes it's just about having some fun with someone you love.

World's King 01-08-2009 09:39 AM

How much do I owe you?

Halx 01-08-2009 10:03 AM

"Much better than your sister."

nomcat 01-08-2009 10:36 AM

"That thing you do with your tongue must be hereditary."

Willravel 01-08-2009 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by inBOIL (Post 2581001)
Look deep into her eyes and say "I can make you feel like I've never had sex before"

:lol::lol::lol:That's the best thing I've ever read.

And I read a lot of Hemingway.

Cimarron29414 01-08-2009 01:19 PM

This thread is comedy gold. Love it!

lostgirl 01-08-2009 01:26 PM

Snowy and MSD are absolutely right. If you are with the right person, it will never matter what you say.

Unless you say what Halx, Nom, and WK said. :P Even then it could all be in fun.

elgeebar 01-08-2009 03:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by World's King (Post 2581111)
How much do I owe you?

ROFL
-----Added 8/1/2009 at 06 : 25 : 01-----
Quote:

Originally Posted by Halx (Post 2581125)
"Much better than your sister."

ROFLMAO

biznatch 01-08-2009 07:15 PM

From tshirt hell: "I shaved my balls for this?"

blahblah454 01-08-2009 08:09 PM

These are good. I can always count on the good folks of TFP to steer me in the right direction

Anormalguy 01-08-2009 09:40 PM

I know a couple of good plastic surgeons, I can give you their numbers.


Note: I knew a fellow in medical sales who made the mistake of asking his fiance if she had ever thought about getting breast implants. She said yes, but not as much as she had thought about him getting a penile implant :cold:.

Daniel_ 01-08-2009 11:56 PM

To borrow from Homer Simpson:

"Can't talk - eating"

asaris 01-09-2009 03:54 AM

"Your body is a wonderland."

I actually used this once; we couldn't stop giggling for five minutes afterwards.

Baraka_Guru 01-09-2009 04:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by asaris (Post 2581378)
"Your body is a wonderland."

I actually used this once; we couldn't stop giggling for five minutes afterwards.

Oh, man, that would have brought us both to tears, especially considering the major theme park just north of the city here is Canada's Wonderland. :p

"I'd get in line for that ride...."

snowy 01-09-2009 08:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru (Post 2581387)
Oh, man, that would have brought us both to tears, especially considering the major theme park just north of the city here is Canada's Wonderland. :p

"I'd get in line for that ride...."

We take a line from Family Guy and sub out parts to tease each other with it: "You must be this beautiful to ride the Quagmire."

Hyacinthe 01-09-2009 11:51 PM

I don't know - the partner and I don't really say anything when stripping - just lots of cuddling - the clientele at work have said some nice things though


"God you look even better then I imagined"

"You should be an illegal substance, your body is addictive" (definitely my favourite)

"Stay there a second? You look so amazing I just want to enjoy the view for a moment"


The SO and I tend to say stupid things after sex though - ok generally me such as

"Awww now I don't know math"

"You fucked my brains out, and I'm a bright girl so that's alot of fucking"

(After Oral on him) "Oh I think you poked my brain"

Strange Famous 01-10-2009 04:01 PM

That Mens Health list is very corny

Try

1 - fucking hell

2 - Im going to give you a damn good rogering

3 - right! right!

World's King 01-10-2009 05:21 PM

"My dick just died. Can I bury it in your asshole?"

icevrething 01-11-2009 12:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by World's King (Post 2582029)
"My dick just died. Can I bury it in your asshole?"

LOL

digme 01-11-2009 07:56 AM

this thread is comedy platinum!

blahblah454 01-11-2009 09:13 AM

WK you must let us know how that last one went over.

dlish 01-11-2009 09:37 AM

who the hell are you?

Daniel_ 01-11-2009 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by World's King (Post 2582029)
"My dick just died. Can I bury it in your asshole?"

Can I come to the wake? :thumbsup:

Derwood 01-11-2009 02:14 PM

The money's on the dresser. You better be gone by the time I'm out of the shower.

stevie667 01-11-2009 03:43 PM

Your packing an awful lot of heat to be a woman.

dlish 01-11-2009 07:11 PM

my wife's back in half an hour


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