laudanum

Well, mental leads to physical in some cases...

Soma, what you could do is to get some pills like Cialis and use them. As your confidence builds, you can start lowering the dose.

NOTE: I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV

Laudanum.

curiousbear

Laudanum, amazing post. If only I had heard this advise 3 years ago... I got better very very slow with experience.

OP, you will definitely get through this.

One last advise, sometimes you can be on your back and enourage your girl to ride on you....

ItWasMe

OMG If he wasn't dwelling on all of this before, I hope he doesn't start now.

But you have a point.

So does Halx.

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dlish

i cant believe you a fleshlight...


is that really the answer? really? its obviously a nerve issue, as is most impotence problems. stop freaking out and relax. maybe talk to her and explain that the plumbing works. maybe start at different things rather than getting straight into it.

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Ch'i

Bingo. You're so used to your hand that a vagina doesn't have the same affect. You need to let go, literally. The moment you become used to sex instead of the solo routine, things will get better.

FallenAvatar

I'm voting for the relaxing idea. I know it isn't easy but you just have to take things slow. Maybe talk to her about it. If you're really having a problem go talk to a doctor. They can prescribe something for you to try. One try might just fix it all. It's really just about confidence.

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laudanum

Well...its going to make any meetups interesting I suppose....

I had to do something. I realized that I'm getting older and that there were several problems I have to fix with myself.

The point of using it is to not use your hand. Not only does the "death grip" mess you up but also the speed you do it as well. If your jacking off with a death grip and furiously doing it as well. Where the hell can you have that kind of tightness and speed? Jackhammer anal position? How many partners are going to let you do that in the first bedroom tango?

If they do...marry em!

Vigilante

I still think it's mental. I do the death grip (lol) every day and still have no problem getting off with my wife in traditional sex (no fetishes in other words) even after I've already jerked that day. BTW I'm 32, so it's not like I have that 21yo hard-dick syndrome.

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curiousbear

after years of masturbation I still cum fast and feel great insider her. but sometimes it just doesnt work. two days ago i never got hard. But sometimes I go three rounds and make her say 'it is too much to take'. In my case I strongly suspect physical fitness, healthy bloodflow, and a fresh clear mind....

Milnoc

Have you tried using some lube inside the condom? The lube dramatically adds sensitivity especially if it's applied around the sulcus before putting on the condom.

andyb366

I have experienced a similar problem & now use viagra .. problem solved ... now u have to decide whether to tell her you're using V or keep it to yourself .. that introduces the conscience again. ...

curiousbear

using Viagara will put one in to that dependency? Is there any side effects?

icevrething

hilarious yet great advice!

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soma

I drank some beers ahead of time and it helped. Still struggling though. I was feeling her insides with my hand and it felt amazing. Then I stick my dick and there and I felt nothing. At one point I wasn't wearing a condom and just rubbing my head on her pus lips, and still didn't feel much. I really think my dick is super desensitized from masturbating too much.

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curiousbear

soma, now i think it should be your porn expectations

Do you directly rub on the glans during masturbation?
If you are not circumcized, rub the glans only under the foreskin during masturbation. I think that may retain the sensitivity

soma

When I masturbate, I pull the foreskin over the head of my dick and just go back and forth. So when I masturbate, it's basically like my dick is fucking my foreskin (if that makes any sense)

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dlish

unless the viagra affects your partner in any way, then i see no need to tell the other party. it will increase confidence, and hopefukly when he's off them he wont needthem any longer. but soma, go see a dr bud. theres no shame or stigma in it

and for goodness sake, put a sock on it even BEFORE you make any genital contact. you can still get many types of STI's from mere contact between the genitalia.

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Draigan

I concur.

My belief is the girl doesn't know how to get you going, and you don't know how to get her going. Loosen up kid. Laugh at your dick. Slap her in the ass with it.

ASU2003

It sounds like the right way to do it. I'm kind of at a loss for what to do next. If you don't have a condom on and your foreskin is pulled back, you should feel a lot when rubbing it on her lips. At least if you do it softly it should be really sensitive...

mixedsubstance

Soma- then you should suggest to her to maybe use her lips (or even just a little teeth) to bring the foreskin up & down. But....would that help you keep aroused during sex, ya think?

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Zeraph

I'll bet it's anxiety combined with unattractive mates. Some people are just more picky than others and watching all that porn doesn't help your image of beauty.

Jinn

OK, so I got the box of Supras yesterday and it says on the box that a "study is ongoing" and that pregnancy prevention rates with Supra condoms is unknown. That's a little bit scary. Anyone happen to know anything about the study?

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hunnychile

...and make sure the two of you can laugh a lot when together, esp. when you are both naked and having nice foreplay! If you can feel like you both are having FUN, it might help a lot!!

(it's not a contest after all - is it?) Relax and joke around some....it will help!

PS - Good luck!

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Cervantes

QTF
Follow the doctors orders and you should be fine, just don't overdo it.

OT:
Being nervous is a pain in the be-hind when it comes to sex and can create some very weird situations. Be careful so you don't end up in a downward spiral, the more nervous you are the less your bald buddy cooperates, the less he cooperates the more nervous you become.

Using a couple of beers or a glass of wine to relax you a bit, is a very good idea as long as you don't overdo it. Just make sure to gradually cut down on the consumption so that you don't end up in a situation where you have to have alcohol in your blood to be able to perform.

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Anormalguy

Great advice!

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soma

the beers are in the fridge and she's coming over tomorrow. wish me luck.
I'll post an update if i have time

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Halx

Remember.. only TWO. One and a half if they're not light. Don't get drunk off your ass or else you're not getting it up at all.

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Milkyway

Sex is a two person show. Focus on your job-to get her off and have her focus on her job which is to get you off. If you don't get off-the only one that should feel bad is her. She needs to learn what pleases you-don't be afraid to tell her or show her and you need to find what pleases her. If you don't feel anything when you are in her then different positions need to be tried, she may need to tighten her muscles around you when you are in her. Maybe she needs to give you a hand job until last minute and then you slip in for the final act. Whatever-but if you ain't feeling it then she is failing you!!!

And remember you focus on making her get off and chances are good her pleasure will excite you further.

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soma

Alright, things went really well yesterday. drinking a bit does help, but I did have to go pee a few times while we were going at it (i need to buy some liquor). And because i wasn't able to get off, we were going at it for about 40 minutes until I just got too bored heh heh. But yeah, my nerves are calming, and i'm getting used to the feeling of having a condom on. so all is getting better. It's my goal though to finally get to come inside of her, i might try what milyway suggests and beat it until the last moment and jam it in her.

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Yellow Tulip

Your goal is to finally come inside her? In a few years time you'll look back at this time and laugh, thinking of all the successful sex you've had. I'm sure it's just anxiety. When I look back at how it was with my first boyfriends in my late teens/early twenties, they were just the same, or came practically on penetration. It will get better, but don't agonize over it, justs try to relax.

lcstudman@yahoo

I understand your problems because you sound almost exactly like i did when i first started having sex. one thing that helped me was to have good music going and to not focus on the end result of what your doing but rather to focus more on the girl in front of you. often times this problem is due to over thinking and expecting something to much and you psych yourself out of the pleasure. as for the porn, its not really been a problem for me because i learned something that helps is instead of using the computer try to get in the habit of picturing your partner because its basically practice for the real deal. most importantly though is don't stress, you'll be alright, all it takes is once to get over that hill and then your rolling with no problems. as for the condoms its way better without it so asking your girlfriend to get on birth control may benefit because for uncircumcised guys its like having two layers instead of one.

swingya

I have a similar problem. Things go fine without a condom, but as soon as it goes on, instant deflation. Alcohol makes it worse, a.k.a. "Whisky Dick".