Diz

ok well looks like the wifey poo got ahold of the laptop....... let me go into more detail so i do not look like a controlling asshole. The reason behind my post was to figure out some answers. I dont try to controll or make her wear clothes that are uncomfortable I just want to resolve the issue at hand so we can move on.......she doesnt even have to bend fully over just the slytest degree of bending and bam! not a little peice of bood or braw im talking the whole thing you can see both cups or boobs whatever and sometimes stomach I know its hard to cover up all of it you might see a strap or two but both boobs clear shot in about 95% of what she owns is a little ridiculous..if I wanted this to go on I would have married a stripper, you know what I mean those are my boobs they are secrade to me....well used to be . So im not a control freak just dont want them shown to every soldier in the guard and to be honest sometimes I feel disrespected by her stuff hanging out. Well like she said keep them comments rolling thx! Diz

mixedmedia

Ah! Thanks for the clarification. I am a 34B myself and never have thought of my boobs as being 'small.' So that's all relative, I think.

As for bending over and being able to see your bra. This I understand completely. When I bend over, unless I am wearing a shirt that is very tight, people can see my bra. In fact, if you stop to notice it, a lot of bras are seen in this way. And I don't think it's a big deal and not worth going out of your way to prevent. I think your husband is just being very protective (and very conscious of it) and most other people probably aren't thinking twice about it.

Just my two cents.

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Taylor21

I apologize sincerely, it didn't even cross our minds...I now have my own account!

Thanks all!
Taylor

OKAY!
This is the deal. I am a size 34B, sometimes a 36B depending upon the brand. I am also 5'7" and about 130lbs....to help illustrate my 'frame'...I am tall with smaller breasts...meaning, buying bras is a major headache because one that fits in the 'cup' does NOT fit comfortably around my rib cage. I have compromised with him to buy smaller bras (which are pretty uncomfortable) to ensure my nips don't ever show. The only ones I could find are pointy and i hate them...but I do agree with him in the fact it's not so cool to have my nips showing.

For those of you who said I need to buy clothes that fit or are not so slutty or however it was put...you have NO CLUE! (I meant that nicely...it's just comical to me) I am pretty tom-boyish. I love working in the garage with the boys yadda yadda. I have NEVER owned a skirt shorter than my knees--except for one for the house for Diz--and only wear skirts/dresses when I must! I don't where things that are 'bearing'...I just where normal things. We work at the MO National Guard so casual dress is required. I wear polos, v necks, those kinds of things.

I have worn undershirts that have an elastic band around the top and quite frankly I am sick of wearing them, for one they are uncomfortable and for two, that's an extra layer of clothing and it's HOT! I have a tank top undershirt that is a bit looser and comfortable that I got at Target, and he complains of it because the neck is loose, hence where you can see my bra if I bend over.

Another reason I may find his requests so annoying is I am generally and optimistic person and think good of everyone. My best friends are 5 guys and one girl...they are all basically my bros as I have lived with them all at one time or another...maybe part of the reason why this issue is more annoying to me that Diz makes such a stink of it...I don't know.

Basically what it boils down to is I am 21, have small boobs...am ok with that, but would not be mad if they magically grew over night...haha and I refuse to be uncomfortable. I do want to resolve this issue, but I'm such an odd 'shape/size' it makes everything so damn difficult. I, personally, don't see what the big deal is if my bra shows...to me it's just material...and I think he should be lucky I'm not one of those 'high' fashion girls b/c I have seen those girls that wear a shirt and then a lacy bra underneath that sticks out above their shirt...I would never DREAM of wearing something like that! hehe

So, all, your comments have been greatly appreciated. Hope this LONG description fully explains the situation and maybe answers some questions...please keep your comments coming...

Oh and one last thing, Diz and I have an 18month old together...and I go to college and work full time...We are pretty tired a lot..I'm at a very young age to have a plate so full...I enjoy being able to feel feminine since many of my hobbies are...not. I know Diz does not mean it this way at all, but this whole issue makes me kind of feel like he is trying to take away my 'feminity?' by making me feel like he is trying to 'cover me up'....does that make any sense?

Thanks All!

Taylor21

Thank you for your response! It is not my goal to upset him or make our lives difficult...which it has tremendously! I don't know if it's just me or what, but when I read your post, I felt relief! I honestly feel like there is no normal shirt (other than a turtleneck/sweater/tshirt) that is not going to gape and show my bra! I don't want him to feel like I don't care but not only do I feel like it is impossible, I'm so stressed out and sick of talking about it (and so is he) that now it's like AAAHHHH!! We went shopping in a mall two weekends ago and was near tears b/c everything I picked out he looked at it like...boob shirt (meaning will show off boobs) ... I wasn't picking out skanky stuff...that's just how it is these days I guess. It is super frustrating and we are BOTH ready to find a solution and get on with it!

Im just your average girl... and me, personally view myself as a pretty conservative girl...who just grew up around too many men! LOL ugh!

Halx

I am concerned about the root of this problem. What is bad about "boob shirts" anyways? My wife has the same size breasts and I love it when she is revealing. I look out for too much exposure (nipples, potential accidents) but I know that anything she shows is FOR ME. She always shows me what she's wearing because she wants to see that big dumb grin on my face. If other guys get a glimpse, its too bad because its mine. Apart from any catastrophic exposure (which has yet to happen) we are OK with anything.

I suggest you two get more comfortable with each other and develop a dynamic that allows for more expressive freedom.

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ratbastid

This doesn't help, but... every time I see the title of this thread, I think that it's an oxymoron, like "jumbo shrimp" or "military intelligence".

analog

The first words out of my mouth, after I initially shrieked the word "boobies!" in boyish celebration in my head, was "boob.... problem?"

So she accidentally flashes her breasts at times. The next time you see them, or think you catch someone seeing them, just say to yourself, "that's right... those are all mine, buddy." Others can think about whatever they want, but you're the only one who can actually take hold of those lovely boobages and go to town.

If you're going to stand on the sense of ownership (which I identify with and don't believe is misogynistic), then TAKE that sense of ownership. Those are YOURS. Only YOU get to have them. Some lucky duck might get a sneak peak, but only YOU can prevent forest fires- I mean touch them.

Yes it's intimate, and yes it's your wife, and yes yes yes everything else. But. It's not like she's parading around like a whore wearing electrical tape over her nips and a thong to work. She can't find clothes that keep the girls under wraps, and covering up more is downright uncomfortable for her. It may be psychologically uncomfortable for you to know she may flash here and there, but physically uncomfortable for her is something you should really put more care into, as the husband.

So... your mental discomfort, which is something you can likely work on, or her physical discomfort, which she can't do a thing about? Those are your options. You seem like a good guy. Choose the right one.

Charlatan

I don't think I am getting the full picture here... maybe if you posted pictures of your problem I might be able to understand more fully.

I kid, I kid.

I can appreciate your frustration but in my experience, a flash of a bra is relatively common and nothing to be especially upset about. I also understand that some women simply have problems finding bras that fit them. Maybe some of the women on board can suggest a place to go where you will find more options.

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james t kirk

My thoughts exactly.

Most women I know would be very very upset if their SO was dictating how they should dress for reasons of his morality.