newtonX

Hi all, it's my first time posting here and I must say after reading some threads most people seem pretty chill and levelheaded. Let me provide a bit of background on myself. I'm a college student. Although I have a lot of experience with relationships most of it is with the deeper stuff such as communication, love, understanding, sex, etc. This is because, I've only recently been single; I was previously in a six year long relationship. Of course, I was very young when I got with my ex, so I never really got to develop sort of a pre-relationship game. So I'm not particular sure about the best ways to hit on a girl, to get numbers, first kisses, etc. But enough about that. After we broke up, I was depressed and lost a lot of my confidence, I've made some missteps with women since then—mostly because I was a bit sensitive still—but I'm getting into the groove of things. Last week after a botched party, my and my friend (Ed) ended up meeting with a girl that knew one of our mutual friends. Both of us found her cute so we were both flirting around with her while horsing around with each other. At the end of the night it was me that ended up with her number, and I invited her to play soccer with some of my friends. (Ed was cool, like a true friend.) Well, to my surprise another friend of mines (Al) told me recently that he is bringing a girl to play soccer so that I could meet her. He showed me a pic and she seemed pretty cute also. Now I'm stuck here, because ideally I want to end up with both of these girls, or at least just one, but I'm afraid that trying to mack it to one of them will alienate the other. One piece of information: the first girl said she has a lot of guy friends, so even though she was flirting back, she might just be friendly like that. Really I want to see which of the two girls are interested, and then decide from there. But how can I tell which is (are) interested without alienating the other? By the way, I'm meeting these people tomorrow!

Thanks in advance

match000

It's your call, and it also depends on the nature of the girls in question.

You are right; it's probably better not to come off as a player. But at the same time, a little friendly competition never hurts your case..

Infinite_Loser

In my experience, playing two girls (Or even having them 'compete' over you) never turns out well.

__________________
I believe in equality; Everyone is equally inferior to me.

The_Jazz

So you want to hit on your friend's date after he backed off a different one for you? How is that being a true friend on your part? Has he said that he wants you to hook up with Chick #2?

Personally, I think you should focus your attention on Girl #1 since you invited her. If nothing else, manners dictates that you spend time with her and not some other girl.

As I see it, you're asking our permission to steal your friend's new interest and at the very same time be rude to the girl that you invited to a function for someone that you've never met but apparently takes a good picture. Sorry to be kind of harsh, but the whole thing strikes me as immature.

__________________
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

mixedmedia

I have to agree with Jazz. Plus, how do you know you want to get with girl #2 if you've only seen her picture?

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

pig

personally, i'd just go play soccer and be friendly. certainly don't ignore the girl you asked to come...you know she's cute and you like her personality. be friendly with the chick your buddy is bringing, and as jazz points out - be careful that he's not interested in her, etc. this is so much easier said from the vantage point of being a good bit out of college - but don't overthink it and don't worry too much. between non-verbal cues and pheromones and eye contact...don't worry.

__________________
You don't love me, you just love my piggy style

tecoyah

Likely...this is the best advice you will get. Over thinking the details of a yet to be relationship will force expectations that usually lead to disappointment, and disappointment leads to resentment and negativity. The number one thing a woman looks for (in my experience) in a man, is a confident air with a good level of communication. If however you primarily want sex from all this, Pick one, focus attention on her, and show her a great time. Sex is easy when it comes down to it, unless you are butt ugly, friendship takes alot more work.

kurty[B]

Agreed. To me, neither of these even sound close to a "relationship". Just acquaintances. I'd agree with pig, play soccer, enjoy yourself, enjoy their company. Maybe they'll even get along with each other. After spending some time around them, invite one out for coffee, see where that goes. If it works out great, if not, invite the other to do something. You're not in a relationship yet, you shouldn't feel limited on who you can flirt with.

analog

The way I read it, one friend conceded that girl 1 liked YOU more, resulting in you getting her number and making plans...

Another friend knew a girl he's now trying to fix you up with, and is sending her your way at the same time the first one will be there.

I would attempt to reschedule with one of them... having them both there at the same time will just not look good. Regardless of what you do, it will look exactly how it is: you're playing games with two girls at once.

ngdawg

You invited #1, so that's who you'll be paying attention to. It's rude to invite someone somewhere, then turn attention to another(because someone was presumptuous enough to schedule without asking first) and will guarantee you a losing situation either way.
Analog is correct-reschedule time with #2.

__________________
Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

match000

I agree with the rescheduling thing.

But once I was at a club event during college, and this one girl took notice of me and kept talking to me. Before that, none of the other girls appraoched me. But the first girl seemed to have a cascading effect, and another girl talked to me and tried to "steal" me away from the first girl.

so sometimes, unintended "competition" can be good. of course, i didnt invite/go with either of the girls there.

Sultana

"Of course" you didn't go with either? Why not?

To the OP: Reschedule. And consider getting to know a girl for a nano-second (instead of just deciding from her picture) before seriously considering hurting the feelings of someone you've *actually met* and invited to an event.

__________________
"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath.
At night, the ice weasels come." -

Matt Groening

My goal? To fulfill my potential.

newtonX

Jazz, I think you misread my situation. Girl #2, was to be introduced by a completely different friend (by Al, not Ed). Also, Al did have the intent of hooking me up. Much more, I was not sure if girl #1 saw me only as a friend, hence I wanted a way to talk to #2, and yet be able to know whether or not #1 was actually interested. Anyways guys thanks for the tips, I did go into it trying to play soccer and just be friendly and available to everyone. End result: #2 was not much of talker and #1 is interested.

match000

Erm, I meant that I did not invite either of the girls to the event.. heck I didn't even know them until I got there. I was just pointing out that my situation was different from the OP's..