GK.12.3

As the great Tom Leykis would say, I probably have no "game."

I'm a 20 year old virgin and still didn't have sex with the girl I've been dating for eight freakin' months (she is also a virgin).
I hope I'm not making it seem like every relationship must include sex because that's not how I think.
The thing is, my girlfriend and I are sexually active but the only thing we've ever done is have oral sex.
She keeps telling me that I'm going to be the one and that there is no "rush." When it happens, it will be the "happiest day of our lives." Vague, vague, vague.
Random thoughts have been going through my head. There are some days where I think she's compensating or is just being an "undercover whore" due to society's outlook on women who have sex before marriage.

Please give me some sound advice.

Sincerely yours,
Young Grasshopper

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Cus' you'll have bad times, but that'll always wake you up to the good stuff you weren't paying attention to...
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Carno

Your first time won't be the happiest day of your life. The sex will suck and you'll wonder why you ever waited that long.

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Ourcrazymodern?

You love her? Wait as long as she wants you to.

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BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

Toaster126

Quoted for truth. Much like everything else in life, building it up so much will only lead to an impossible to realize fantasy.

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pornclerk

My boyfriend and I waited over a year to sleep together. The first time hurt a lot. It didn't really get good until about the 5th time. I wouldn't worry about sex. Just because it's been 8 months doesn't mean there is something wrong with the relationship. Don't put a time limit on it.

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BBtB

The first time will probably suck.. BUT it is also something thats worth the wait. There is nothing wrong with a relationship where you are not having sex yet. Even more so if you are both virgins. The first step to a good relationship is open and honest communication. Talk to her and tell her how you feel. Tell her you think you two are ready. But don't pressure her. Ask her questions like.. How she wants her first time to be like. Maybe she just wants you to put in a little effort, take her dancing and to a nice resturant and candles in the bedroom yadda yadda.

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Meridae'n once played "death" at a game of chess that lasted for over two years. He finally beat death in a best 34 out of 67 match. At that time he could ask for any one thing and he could wish for the hope of all mankind... he looked death right in the eye and said ...

"I would like about three fiddy"

Acetylene

My first boyfriend and I were both virgins and we waited 4 YEARS to have sex because I was committed to waiting until I was old enough to handle the responsibility involved. I have never regretted my decision and do not think I missed anything by waiting.

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There's no justice. There's just us.

analog

Exactly right- it won't be the happiest day of your life, but it might be of hers (at least temporarily). Of course, this doesn't mean anything for you, other than you have to keep up appearances and don't deny her part of the "best day".

Also, 8 months is not all that long considering you're both virgins. Chill out and enjoy the oral, you'll get around to the real sex eventually.

Push-Pull

Hell, I'm sure that there's plenty of guys out there that would LOVE to get/give oral, even if that was all that was being offered.....

Don't sweat it, it's NOT the end-all-be-all in life....

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cyklone

Just lie back and enjoy the oral GK, you will find that you will never get enough of it after the vaginal sex starts. Take note of what everyone else has said on this thread and just don't push it.

Kristina07

I agree with cyklone about just enjoy the oral! Some guys I regret when we start having sex bc some of them forget to focus on the finer things like HEAVY foreplay. of course...some dont! This one guy I was not a virgin but just wanted to wait with him - I had wanted to for a while but never did, just never seemed right with him. So a year after being together we finally had sex - it was amazing but I also wasn't worried about when it was going to happen or anything else. Just enjoyed everything else we did until it fell into place.

don't worry so much - worrying will make your first time(or anytime) worse than it will be already. all the hype about losing your virginity is over-rated to me

GK.12.3

Thank you for all of the comments everyone. Appreciate it!

__________________
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.

Cus' you'll have bad times, but that'll always wake you up to the good stuff you weren't paying attention to...
-Steve Jobs

World's King

Don't listen to these people...


It will the best thing that's ever happened to you. And you wanna know why?


Cause it's sex. And everyone loves sex. All the people that say there first time sucked probably had a shitty experience. I on the other hand had a great time. My girlfriend at the time and I didn't make a big deal outta the whole thing. We just did what we thought we were supposed to do. And it rocked.

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

longbough

And don't let her feel your frustration - That only makes her more tense about the matter. At the risk of sounding "touchy-feely" about the matter I should tell you to just keep enjoying experimenting with sexual contact without intercourse. She'll let you know when she's ready - and usually it's a spontaneous impulse at the height of excitement.

I had an ex-girlfriend who was a virgin once. She was nervous about intercourse and I never made a big deal about it. We had fun with everything else until, one night in the middle of everything she said, "I'm ready." That's how it happens.

I know it's frustrating if you're a virgin, too. But some day you'll learn that intercourse itself isn't everything. There are whole worlds of foreplay and afterplay to discover with her.

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Suave

I know people who have gone multiple years in a relationship before having sex. There's not necessarily anything wrong with it, nor is she likely being an undercover anything. She's probably just not ready.

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JustJess

Besides.... use this time. Get good at the other stuff. It will come in really handy later. You're having oral sex? Good. Learn what you like and how to give what she likes. That's a brilliant way to build trust so that when you get to the intercourse part, it will be that much more enjoyable. One more thought: I didn't wait til I was 20 (whole 'nother story) but! I rather enjoy the idea that people might wait until they're prepared for the possible consequences of their actions (pregnancy and std's).

Don't worry about the first time, like they said... it's not the best part, anyway.

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My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.

longbough

JustJess is right about getting good at the other stuff.

Intercourse is easy for a guy.

Men usually have to seek advice on things like: cunnilingus, foreplay and simple intimacy

A simple thing to remember - It's not all over after you and/or she has an orgasm. Some tenderness goes a long way. As spent as you might feel you ought to hold her, stroke her skin softly and kiss her for a while. Let her know how precious she is to you. It's a simple thing that too many guys forget.

Here's some advice, too: http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?t=79241

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"I do believe that, where there is only a choice between cowardice and violence, I would advise violence. Thus when my eldest son asked me what he should have done, had he been present when I was almost fatally assaulted in 1908, whether he should have run away and seen me killed or whether he should have used his physical force which he could and wanted to use, and defended me, I told him that it was his duty to defend me even by using violence." - Mahatma Ghandi

MSD

If you're content with waiting, then wait. If you want to move things forward, talk to her instead of us. Make sure the relationship is working out for both of you and ask her if there's anything holding her back other than not feeling like it's the right time yet. Make sure you both actually are on the same page and have the same expectations.

Scrub0

Don't wait forever...sex is one of those things that gets better and better the more you do it.

blahblah454

Sex does get better the more you do it. And in my experience it was pretty boring for about the first 10 or so times. But now all I get is sex, my woman has not given me oral, and she probably never will. That sucks, I think I would trade in any amount of sex for some good BJ's right about now.

absorbentishe

If all I were getting was oral, I'd be happy! But, sex is awesome there's no lie. Even the first time, if it were bad (if you call less than 2 minutes bad), it was still awesome. For her, it may not be the best, but it will get better. Sex has only gotten better the more we've (my wife and I) been together. She is way more comfortable doing things now, than when we started, and that makes it soooooo much better.

ConspiracyTheor

You waited 20 years so what's 8 months, eh? Maybe she's scared. At least you're getting blowjobs and that's more than a lot of dicks out there are gettin. Be happy.