paulskinback

So I had to meet my ex at her house today, to give back some Pink Floyd and Led Zep vinyls etc that her old man gave to me as a gift ages ago... he wanted them back because i'm no longer his future son in law i 'spose

I saw her and she was looking great, I know she's seeing someone, and i'm seeing a girl too, but the feelings came flooding back as soon as I looked her in the eye and i'll readily admit that at that point I felt the love.

she acted smily, happy, yet coy and all cutesy shy and I think she felt the same in her heart, but I'm not a man to big myself up and say "yeah she wants me" there was just this connection...

should I just leave it???

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Infinite_Loser

I'm wondering as to who broke up with whom and why you broke up in the first place? Also, how long has it been since you've broken up?

It's always hard seeing an ex, especially if the break up was rather painful or if it's soon after the break up. Though, if you're both dating other people, I would say to just let it go.

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Charlatan

Just leave it.

All the reasons for the break up are still there. Don't kid yourself.

Your reaction is a natural reaction. You are reacting to her familiarity. To the good memories. Take a moment and really dig into why you broke up.

Better to live in the world of the clean break.

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Cynthetiq

go back.. tap that ass again... call her the next day... keep calling her...

then you'll find out why you broke up with her... if not, you'll keep going until you are reminded.

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yournamehere

He made you give back the classic vinyl?

That's fucked up.

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Sage

Yeah, it's not love you're feeling. I was the same way with one of my old BF's- we hung out after our (rather messy) breakup, and all it did was prolong the healing process. If I had just taken all my crap back, and all the stuff I bought for him, and never talked to him again, it would have saved me a LOT of trouble in the long run. Best of luck

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savvypup

Yeah, why give the vinyls back if they were a gift???

Paulskinback, refresh us to the reasons behind the breakup and how long ago.

My thoughts at the moment, call her, catchup for a coffee and feel out how she feels about where her life is at the moment. Forever wondering or having regrets are awfully heavy to carry around.

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ciao bella!

paulskinback

I agree, but what the hell

Her dads been an arsehole about the whole thing. he's a nice bloke but he seems to hate me

Reasons for the breakup: We lived together, I quit my job to find a new career as it was going nowhere, I racked up more debt, couldn't find or hold down jobs, became depressed.... things came back from the past, my parents divorced 3 years ago and it didn't come to the surface until then. I kind of shut it out and never dealt with it. So I became a bit of an emotional fuck up. Lost who I thought I was, retreated into my shell, and stopped being a good boyfriend I suppose.

She also had a big transition and decided to go back to university which she's starting next month and I think she didn't want me attached to her any more. It just sort of broke down over a few months then we argued, I started sleeping in the spare room, we wanted time apart to sort things out and that just became a break up.

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longbough

It's entirely possible to still have feelings of "love."
For me, unless it was an ugly breakup or a loooong time has passed, it's hard for me NOT to aknowledge that some feelings might remain from an earlier long-term relationship. Depends, I guess, on why you two broke up.

I still, respectfully, care about my ex-gfs (even though I don't keep in touch with them regularly). If it was a breakup for practical differences in lifestyle or personalities some element of "love" probably still remains. They can still call me for advice or a kind word. You don't have to hate someone to break up with them.

In fairness, residual feelings (e.g. "affection," "love" or whatever) are entirely normal. But it doesn't mean you have to act on them - you just accept that they're there. Over time the feelings will probably change.
Depending on your circumstances you might consider just having a cup of coffee together as friends to feel out the situation. But don't do this if it's too "early" to be objective, or if either of you is working on a serious new relationship they don't want to jeopardize.

Feelings don't just disappear - they can always come back - but it doesn't mean you have to act on them. It's better to aknowledge it and laugh it off than completely surpress those feelings.

james t kirk

LOL.

That's priceless.

Sugarmouse

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Ace_O_Spades

I know hey, totally fucked up. I know if someone gave me classic led zep vinyls as a gift they'd have to pry them from my cold dead hands

And in response to the actual topic:

I think you should go for it! If you're in a better place, and you guys click again, why not?

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Feh.

Mantus

Whats wrong with still having feelings? I still have feelings for several of my girls. It proves to me that it was something real and I trully thankful for what I got to experience.

Yet I am also realistic and realized that the relationship could not continue for watever reason. Love - is not enough to keep people together, nor is it enough to keep people happy but it something very wonderful.