Smooth23

I know yall are prolly sick of hearing about my relationships and lack there-ofs, so I'll keep this to more of something resembling a rant. So after my girlfriend dumped me, I went out with one date and clearly knew from moment one that I didn't care for her. Tonight I went out with a totally new girl. We went bowling, she brought her 13 year old cousin(it was more of a meet each other type thing(we met on net) and I dont think she felt comfortable being alone). Anyhow, I really really liked her. I got the same sort of gut feeling that I had the first time I went out with my ex that I fell in love with. The problem is, I couldn't read this girl at all. She seemed genuinly tired, and she said she was, cause most the time she was just sort of blah. However, she did joke with me some, and let me get physically pretty much as close as I wanted with her(arm around her, hand on her.. nothing real sexual of coarse). Clearly she is very shy, she warned me before hand that she was. I just cant read her though. I know she is at least somewhat afraid of being played by another guy, something I'm not in the slightest bit interested in doing. I was also very pleased that she turned out to be far more attractive than the pics I saw of her. Well, not much of a question or anything here, just a GRRR, cmon girl I need a sign. I will say at the end of the night (2am) when bowling was done, she couldn't seem to get out of there fast enough, but like I said before, she was super tired the whole time- plus her cousin that came with her wasn't feeling to good. I hate how girls confuse the hell out of me, simple it up please ladies?

ETA: its never my intention to date around, I want to find one girl I feel a connection and genuine attraction to physically and mentally and stay with her. Just thought I should clarify

Vincentt

Arm around her, hand on her? Your in.

She is shy, and also with her 13 year old cousin, she wouldn't give any big signs around her.

You have it easy here, just ask her out again. If she agrees and comes alone, you are gold. If she doesn't want to hang, or brings someone else.. well.

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robot_parade

Yeah, I think you'll be fine - just take it slowish...find out something she would like to do (or just guess...if she likes you, she'll probably go along with it unless it is something obviously 'guy centric'...going to a strip club or Hooters is probably out. :-)). Invite her to go out, preferably at a time when she isn't going to be tired. If she's interested, she'll say yes, or let you reschedule with a different day/time/event. If she's not interested, she'll either say so (And how I wish the ones that weren't interested would just say so!), or endlessly put you off, make up excuses, etc.

Smooth23

yeah robot, I also wish the ones that weren't interested would just tell us to fuck off. Seriosly, its so much easier than just beating around the bush forever hoping we'll just go away. Its like, if you dont like me, you have nothing to lose by telling me that, and I can get back to finding another girl quiker.

Impetuous1

I'm shy on first dates and extremely quiet. I know that gives out the wrong impression when in fact I can be very outgoing once I get to know someone well. But since she let you touch her then you probably have nothing to worry about. She just has to get comfortable around you first. Plus, she had the cousin with so she could only do so much with another pair of eyes around who may talk to her family about it later. Ask her out again. You may be pleasantly surprised. Definitely ask her what she would like to do. That'll let her know that you are more interested in getting to know her. I think maybe another date where you can have fun and perhaps be physical may be in order. Laughter always help to break the ice with me. Maybe something like laser tag or rock climbing?

Smooth23

Well, she talked to me today, turns out she's definatly very interested. All I have to say at this point is w00t, cause I really like this girl a ton. So shy, so sweet, so cute. Yeah, never thought I'd get this feeling again after my ex, definatly didn't think so soon. Just hope it keeps up.

Impetuous1

Awesome dude. Congrats.

Smooth23

Update: Since we went out friday, we've been talking every day- online and phone. She seems to really be warming up to me, but alas we haven't seen each other in person since friday. We've had plans to go out the next day two times this week, but when the day comes she cancels and usually comes up with a plausable excuse. I have to say that that is really confusing the hell out of me, and at this point I don't know if she's blowing me off or really has had other stuff come up. We have plans to hang out in town all day saturday-watch a movie, eat, walk around stores, etc., and if she blows that off I'm done with her. I think that 99% of girls I would already have given up on, but theres something unexplainable about her that attracts me to her. She's cute, but not a 10, smart, but not einstein.. I don't know, its like I'm into her for no reason at all. Anyhow, thought I'd let yall know whats going on.

Ustwo

Mistake. You are showing you are over eager, women sense this in their genes. Make it so she thinks she needs to win you over and that you could take or leave her. Its genetics, don't argue with it, just go with it

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Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

Smooth23

well, she's usually the one contacting me- which I can only take as a good sign, right?

Ustwo

Yes thats much better than you calling her, but then try not to be always available. The nice guy who is always there to talk isn't the guy that gets them sexually excited.

__________________
Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

777

Hell, tell me about it. I was dating this one gal, and she started calling, like, everyday. After only one date too. She even called to respond to an email I sent the night before, at 9am! And this happened a few times. I saw her work number on the caller id, and decided not to pick up She worked for the city, and I'd tell her (sarcastic tone) that my tax dollars would be better spent if she was working, rather that chatting on the phone with "some guy".

Another thing you can do Smooth23 is answer the phone, tell her your busy, and you'll get call her back to her. And do this Before she says anything. Or, just keep the phone calls short and end them on a high note. It shows that you have a life outside of the relationship. When I was dating the gal from the city, I was studying for a licencing exam at the time. I'd end a call from her by thanking her for entertaining me on my study break. It shows that you have a life outside of the relationship. Just remember to call her back now.

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"I don't know that I ever wanted greatness, on its own. It seems rather like wanting to be an engineer, rather than wanting to design something - or wanting to be a writer, rather than wanting to write. It should be a by-product, not a thing in itself. Otherwise, it's just an ego trip."

Roger Zelazny