A Shift In Habits - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Halifax · 07-02-2006, 09:20 PM

When my girlfriend first began to perform oral sex on me, she seemed to have no qualms about swallowing when finished. I told her I didn't care whether she did or didn't, or even whether I finished in her mouth, but she told me she liked doing it and that it felt more intimate, (which I agree with).

The past few months, however, she's gone to the sink after each time. I haven't brought this up with her, at least not directly, because I don't want to be demanding. Still, though, I wonder what caused the shift in her habits. Do I taste different? Is she more squeamish now? Was she trying to seem more open and adventuresome before?

I know someone will tell me to just bring it up with her, but I don't want to unnaturally alter her attitudes.

Ustwo · 07-02-2006, 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Halifax

I know someone will tell me to just bring it up with her, but I don't want to unnaturally alter her attitudes.

Who are you Marlin Perkins?

While observing the chickus girlfriendius it is important to not ask questions about sex lest you unnnaturally alter her attitudes. And now for a word from Mutual of Omaha.

She isn't a grizzly bear (I hope), so just bring it up with her.

Either that or you could shoot her with a tranqualizer dart, put in an ear tag and radio collar and track her movements from the chopper. Maybe you kids are into that sort of thing.

Halifax · 07-02-2006, 09:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ustwo

Who are you Marlin Perkins?

While observing the chickus girlfriendius it is important to not ask questions about sex lest you unnnaturally alter her attitudes. And now for a word from Mutual of Omaha.

She isn't a grizzly bear (I hope), so just bring it up with her.

Either that or you could shoot her with a tranqualizer dart, put in an ear tag and radio collar and track her movements from the chopper. Maybe you kids are into that sort of thing.

What I meant is that if I bring it up, she's likely to interpret that as pressure to do so, and that's not what I want at all. I want her to feel comfortable, because honestly it doesn't matter that much.

Ustwo · 07-02-2006, 09:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Halifax

What I meant is that if I bring it up, she's likely to interpret that as pressure to do so, and that's not what I want at all. I want her to feel comfortable, because honestly it doesn't matter that much.

So just ask her.....

'Honey it doesn't bother me but I'm wondering why you switched from swallowing to spitting?'

If you don't ask her its not the kinda topic one will bring up in casual conversation.

cookmo · 07-02-2006, 09:59 PM

If you have changed your diet, most likely your taste changed to.

Have you tasted yourself lately? Go stroke one out and sample it, then youll know if she is spitting because taste or not.

Oh yeah, could be that she's "got ya" now, and doesn't need to impress you anymore.

genuinegirly · 07-02-2006, 10:12 PM

Has your diet gone through any changes? Are you eating more meats, or less fruits? It does make an impact. Could just be a matter of her preferences changing. Texture, taste, lingering scent, or otherwise.

In any case, figuring out how to bring up questions or concerns without offending is an excellent skill. Sometimes it takes a little miscommunication to learn how to communicate.

HLP · 07-02-2006, 10:36 PM

Have you ever eaten a small amount of mayo on a sandwich and said "hmmm, this is pretty good?"

Well after a long time you kind of get tired of mayo on everything. You cant put too much on and while you started out liking the taste of it because its new, you now realise that its not that good to begin with.

So this mayo probably tastes like it should only be consumed on special occasions, maybe you'll just be better spreading it on her breasts...

Man, I really want a chicken sandwich right about now

thed00t · 07-02-2006, 11:04 PM

If you don't feel comfortable bringing it up with her, try a more subtle approach at first.

Try eating more fruits and drinking a lot of pineapple juice. If the taste is the problem then she might notice the change and revert back to her old habbits. She might also ask you why you've changed your diet, and you can reply that you read it can improve the flavor/experience of oral sex.

If that doesn't work, you can make a small assumption that it wasn't a taste/texture/whatever issue and you should approach the subject if it still bothers you. When talking to her, just keep in mind that oral sex is really a favor, and one that should be appreciated. If you ask her directly, yes, she might interperet that as pressure. One indirect method would be to engage her in a conversation about likes and dislikes about your sex life. If she queries you back, tell her you find it erotic when she swallows. Then ask her how SHE feels about that action. Don't use terms like used to, or bring up the past habbit. Just treat the issue like a normal discussion.

Don't read too much into a change in her habbits without examining what else might have changed in your own. It could be a number of things and the only way to know for sure is to open a line of communication with her that she feels comfortable with. It could be that she feels the same way you do about something in particular and doesn't want to bring it up. I.E. something has changed with you and she no longer wants to swallow. Or it could be that she never did enjoy it completely and just did it because she wanted to make you happy. Now that you've both become more comfortable with eachother, she no longer feels like she has to "go through the trouble" to swallow, however she doesn't want to make you feel bad by explaining she doesn't like it as much as she led on.

Either way, try adjusting a few things first, and if all else fails, just bring it up the best way you know how.

ratbastid · 07-03-2006, 05:24 AM

If it really doesn't matter, then... why does it matter?

Face it: you have a preference. If you're honest with yourself about that, you can be responsible for it and honest about it when you talk with her and it'll all be okay. If you're not honest with yourself about that, you'll try to hide it or lie about it, and end up being a sneaky, manipulative weasel in the conversation, and put exactly the pressure on her that you don't want to put on her.

guthmund · 07-03-2006, 07:47 AM

I have nothing to add except to say that ratbastid is a very smart man.

MoonDog · 07-03-2006, 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ratbastid

If it really doesn't matter, then... why does it matter?

Face it: you have a preference. If you're honest with yourself about that, you can be responsible for it and honest about it when you talk with her and it'll all be okay. If you're not honest with yourself about that, you'll try to hide it or lie about it, and end up being a sneaky, manipulative weasel in the conversation, and put exactly the pressure on her that you don't want to put on her.

I don't necessarily agree with this.

If my wife was a regular swallower, then started spitting, I would wonder if my taste had changed; if she felt she WAS being pressured for either oral sex, swallowing, or both; etc. Something changed the dynamic, and I would want to find out what that was, and if I was the cause. If it was something that she was supposedly enjoying at one point, it would also be a responsibility of mine to see why things changed.

Wouldn't all of you want someone to share with you that they stopped carpooling with you because of your body odor?

Bottom line is, ask. Sex isn't something to hide, especially with your partner. Be honest about your concern, and if her willingness has changed, absolutely do NOT pressure her! hell, anyone getting regular oral has it waaaaay better than I do (one of the things I don't pressure my wife about - lol).

Good luck!

Sage · 07-03-2006, 03:15 PM

Go get some tapioca pudding, add salt, put in the microwave for 10 seconds, and then try a spoonful. That's kinda what semen is like. I don't have an issue with swallowing, but you know, after downing about a gallon of that stuff over the course of my marriage I'm to the point where I'd rather just let it go all over my face and breasts and such. Much more visually stimulating that way.

Just TALK to your woman. Relationships are the place to really beef up your communication skills- just ask her what the deal is, and illustrate that you are NOT pressuring her in any way, but just curious.

james t kirk · 07-04-2006, 11:03 AM

She probably just read somewhere that semen has a lot of calories or something and so she figures she'd rather save the alotment for a chocolate fudge sunday than your spunk.

thespian86 · 07-04-2006, 11:17 AM

Honestly, why fix it if it isn't broken. If it isn't a problem, let it go.

Toaster126 · 07-04-2006, 01:30 PM

Talk to her. She's your GF for goodness sakes... if you can't talk to her about this stuff, you are going to have problems.

Halifax · 07-04-2006, 01:59 PM

Well, I mentioned it. Apparently, the first time she didn't know I would be so....um...."thick" or "strong," lol—at least more so than previous partners. And in the beginning, I was informed, one is "more inclined to sacrifice."

Oh, well. C'est la vie.

evil_twin617 · 07-25-2006, 01:54 PM

I agree with "james t kirk" regarding the calories. Considering the issues mose of us have with our weight, no matter how many (or few, as the case may be) calories it has, I'd sooner save that allotment for a Hershey bar or something that at least tastes good, not like goopy seawater.

Redlemon · 07-26-2006, 06:13 AM

Hey, I just saw this in the Straight Dope, you might want to share it with her...

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Straight Dope

QUESTIONS WE'RE STILL THINKING ABOUT

As a child, I was taught that the point of toothbrushing is to prevent the bacteria in food particles from producing an acidic environment that would cause tooth decay. Later, in sex ed, I learned that semen is alkaline. So what I'm wondering is, does having a little bit of semen in my mouth before I go to sleep also prevent tooth decay? It's more fun than using a toothbrush. --Creative Hygiene in Santa Barbara, CA

Frankly I don't have the faintest idea, C. But please don't let that stop you from spreading this theory around.

--CECIL ADAMS

snowy · 07-26-2006, 06:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by evil_twin617

I agree with "james t kirk" regarding the calories. Considering the issues mose of us have with our weight, no matter how many (or few, as the case may be) calories it has, I'd sooner save that allotment for a Hershey bar or something that at least tastes good, not like goopy seawater.

Semen has about 8 calories per tablespoon, not 8 million.

And it's packed with protein!

maleficent · 07-26-2006, 06:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Redlemon

Hey, I just saw this in the Straight Dope, you might want to share it with her...

Uncle Cecil is awesome... but he usually researches better than that... I'm suprised at him

pornclerk · 07-26-2006, 10:01 AM

Just ask. If you can't communicate then what good is your relationship anyway?

little_tippler · 07-27-2006, 03:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Halifax

Well, I mentioned it. Apparently, the first time she didn't know I would be so....um...."thick" or "strong," lol—at least more so than previous partners. And in the beginning, I was informed, one is "more inclined to sacrifice."

Oh, well. C'est la vie.

Yeah I figured as much. Ouch. Sorry to hear it. Kind of sucks that she wasn't enjoying it in the beginning and just did it to keep you happy...not a good thing.

07-02-2006, 09:20 PM	#1 (permalink)
Halifax Upright Location: Republic of Tejas	A Shift In Habits When my girlfriend first began to perform oral sex on me, she seemed to have no qualms about swallowing when finished. I told her I didn't care whether she did or didn't, or even whether I finished in her mouth, but she told me she liked doing it and that it felt more intimate, (which I agree with). The past few months, however, she's gone to the sink after each time. I haven't brought this up with her, at least not directly, because I don't want to be demanding. Still, though, I wonder what caused the shift in her habits. Do I taste different? Is she more squeamish now? Was she trying to seem more open and adventuresome before? I know someone will tell me to just bring it up with her, but I don't want to unnaturally alter her attitudes. __________________ Philosopher-in-Training “The present writer…writes because for him it is a luxury which becomes the more agreeable and more evident, the fewer there are who buy and read what he writes.” —Søren Kierkegaard

07-02-2006, 09:59 PM	#5 (permalink)
cookmo Insane Location: Ohio	If you have changed your diet, most likely your taste changed to. Have you tasted yourself lately? Go stroke one out and sample it, then youll know if she is spitting because taste or not. Oh yeah, could be that she's "got ya" now, and doesn't need to impress you anymore. Last edited by cookmo; 07-02-2006 at 10:01 PM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost

07-02-2006, 10:12 PM	#6 (permalink)
genuinegirly Eat your vegetables Super Moderator Location: Arabidopsis-ville	Has your diet gone through any changes? Are you eating more meats, or less fruits? It does make an impact. Could just be a matter of her preferences changing. Texture, taste, lingering scent, or otherwise. In any case, figuring out how to bring up questions or concerns without offending is an excellent skill. Sometimes it takes a little miscommunication to learn how to communicate. __________________ "Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq "violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

07-03-2006, 07:47 AM	#10 (permalink)
guthmund big damn hero	I have nothing to add except to say that ratbastid is a very smart man. __________________ No signature. None. Seriously.

07-03-2006, 03:15 PM	#12 (permalink)
Sage hoarding all the big girl panties since 2005 Location: North side	Go get some tapioca pudding, add salt, put in the microwave for 10 seconds, and then try a spoonful. That's kinda what semen is like. I don't have an issue with swallowing, but you know, after downing about a gallon of that stuff over the course of my marriage I'm to the point where I'd rather just let it go all over my face and breasts and such. Much more visually stimulating that way. Just TALK to your woman. Relationships are the place to really beef up your communication skills- just ask her what the deal is, and illustrate that you are NOT pressuring her in any way, but just curious. __________________ Sage knows our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's She answers hard acrostics, has a pretty taste for paradox She quotes in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus In conics she can floor peculiarities parabolous -C'hi

07-02-2006, 10:36 PM	#7 (permalink)
HLP Crazy	Have you ever eaten a small amount of mayo on a sandwich and said "hmmm, this is pretty good?" Well after a long time you kind of get tired of mayo on everything. You cant put too much on and while you started out liking the taste of it because its new, you now realise that its not that good to begin with. So this mayo probably tastes like it should only be consumed on special occasions, maybe you'll just be better spreading it on her breasts... Man, I really want a chicken sandwich right about now

07-02-2006, 11:04 PM	#8 (permalink)
thed00t I'm a fool.	If you don't feel comfortable bringing it up with her, try a more subtle approach at first. Try eating more fruits and drinking a lot of pineapple juice. If the taste is the problem then she might notice the change and revert back to her old habbits. She might also ask you why you've changed your diet, and you can reply that you read it can improve the flavor/experience of oral sex. If that doesn't work, you can make a small assumption that it wasn't a taste/texture/whatever issue and you should approach the subject if it still bothers you. When talking to her, just keep in mind that oral sex is really a favor, and one that should be appreciated. If you ask her directly, yes, she might interperet that as pressure. One indirect method would be to engage her in a conversation about likes and dislikes about your sex life. If she queries you back, tell her you find it erotic when she swallows. Then ask her how SHE feels about that action. Don't use terms like used to, or bring up the past habbit. Just treat the issue like a normal discussion. Don't read too much into a change in her habbits without examining what else might have changed in your own. It could be a number of things and the only way to know for sure is to open a line of communication with her that she feels comfortable with. It could be that she feels the same way you do about something in particular and doesn't want to bring it up. I.E. something has changed with you and she no longer wants to swallow. Or it could be that she never did enjoy it completely and just did it because she wanted to make you happy. Now that you've both become more comfortable with eachother, she no longer feels like she has to "go through the trouble" to swallow, however she doesn't want to make you feel bad by explaining she doesn't like it as much as she led on. Either way, try adjusting a few things first, and if all else fails, just bring it up the best way you know how.

07-03-2006, 05:24 AM	#9 (permalink)
ratbastid Darth Papa Location: Yonder	If it really doesn't matter, then... why does it matter? Face it: you have a preference. If you're honest with yourself about that, you can be responsible for it and honest about it when you talk with her and it'll all be okay. If you're not honest with yourself about that, you'll try to hide it or lie about it, and end up being a sneaky, manipulative weasel in the conversation, and put exactly the pressure on her that you don't want to put on her.

07-04-2006, 11:03 AM	#13 (permalink)
james t kirk Junkie Location: Toronto	She probably just read somewhere that semen has a lot of calories or something and so she figures she'd rather save the alotment for a chocolate fudge sunday than your spunk.

07-04-2006, 11:17 AM	#14 (permalink)
thespian86 change is hard. Location: the green room.	Honestly, why fix it if it isn't broken. If it isn't a problem, let it go. __________________ EX: Whats new? ME: I officially love coffee more then you now. EX: uh... ME: So, not much.

07-04-2006, 01:30 PM	#15 (permalink)
Toaster126 Extreme moderation Location: Kansas City, yo.	Talk to her. She's your GF for goodness sakes... if you can't talk to her about this stuff, you are going to have problems. __________________ "The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand) "The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

07-04-2006, 01:59 PM	#16 (permalink)
Halifax Upright Location: Republic of Tejas	Followup Well, I mentioned it. Apparently, the first time she didn't know I would be so....um...."thick" or "strong," lol—at least more so than previous partners. And in the beginning, I was informed, one is "more inclined to sacrifice." Oh, well. C'est la vie. __________________ Philosopher-in-Training “The present writer…writes because for him it is a luxury which becomes the more agreeable and more evident, the fewer there are who buy and read what he writes.” —Søren Kierkegaard Last edited by Halifax; 07-04-2006 at 02:01 PM.. Reason: Clarity

07-25-2006, 01:54 PM	#17 (permalink)
evil_twin617 Upright Location: Houston, TX	I agree with "james t kirk" regarding the calories. Considering the issues mose of us have with our weight, no matter how many (or few, as the case may be) calories it has, I'd sooner save that allotment for a Hershey bar or something that at least tastes good, not like goopy seawater. __________________ I'm not good at empathy - will you accept sarcasm?

07-26-2006, 10:01 AM	#21 (permalink)
pornclerk Insane Location: Ontario, Canada	Just ask. If you can't communicate then what good is your relationship anyway? __________________ Who wants a twig when you can have the whole tree?