Tachion

My wife and I have 5 kids. The oldest just moved out.

When people hear 5, their eyes usually widen - kind of a good-god one is killing me kind of reaction.

I will let you in on a little secret. It gets easier with more!

Anyone else in on this secret?
Or are you all going -what is he -nuts!?

Meditrina

I don't think you are nuts, I think you are brave! I have only 2. I personally cannot see how more would be easier, not for me anyway. My mother-in-law had 7, I married the youngest. She did fine with hers. It must be different for each person.

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Tachion

They begin to get old enough to help with the others. My 16 year daughter helps a lot with the younger ones and each of them on the way down.

At meals everyone helps setting things up, cooking etc.
The youngest have many to go to to help with school work and the littler problems.

My wife and I can actually go out for a walk or to a movie whenever we want! Such luxury!

Toaster126

This makes sense. Parents with more kids have more parenting experience, and are probably less stressed from things that happen and are more efficient in taking care of tasks that need to be done. Like cooking, for example. Cooking for 7 and cooking for 4 is basically the same. You just increase portions.

Having older children able to take care of the younger ones is a bonus.

Having said all that, if you asked me if I was going to have 5 children, I would laugh in your face.

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Hash_Browns

I have three and would love to have more. Hubby doesn't agree. We don't have the income to increase our family size without losing some of our comforts that we have gotten used to. I also hate making kids take care of kids, they are my responsibility and therefore I feel it's my job to raise them. I ask my kids to help with the baby as little as possible unless they ask if they can try. I don't want little mommies running around but little girls enjoying playing and stuff while they still have the chance.

I am by NO means flaming anyones choices in the matter, for some families it works out better this way, and if I were to have another baby I am sure I'd have to break my own rules and beg for help as I have a hard time now.

I think that is wonderful that you are able to fill your home with love and still be able to share time with your wife. If and when we do have more room and childeren to fill it with then I hope to be able to still connect with my hubby too!

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Charlatan

Two is more than enough for me but I can see how the labour can be shared. My son is 8 years older than my daugher. In a year or two, he is built in babysitting.

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sexymama

I raised two step-children (now 23). My biological are 20, 12, 10, and 7 months. I wouldn't trade any of them. They love and care for each other naturally. Even though I don't think it is up to the older kids to take care of the baby, they do because they love him. Even the 20 year old son gets down on the floor to play with baby about once a day. A big family is totally awesome!

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Hash_Browns

I hope that after rereading what I posted that you will see the part that says unless they want to. I also want to agree with you about big families and being great! I and the youngest of 13 in my generation, so I've done plenty of babysitting in my day for everyone in the family and I know that I felt obligated to miss out on a lot because I had to babysit, that's what I guess I was trying to express when discussing making the kids take care of each other...I don't depend on my children to do these things, but I might ask and they might offer...but it is still not their job.

I like how sexy mama put it:

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sexymama

Hash_Browns -- my mother took care of the childcare issue in an interesting way (and one I think I'll use.) If she needed a sitter for the baby, we were expected to do it, UNLESS we had an offer for another job or evening out. Then we were asked to do it and paid. I never felt resentful.

__________________
If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god

It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

rlynnm

*eyes go wide* wow five...

sometimes I treat myself to a pat on the back for being capable enough that my ONE(4 yr old) is still surviving....suddenly I feel sheepish..

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Grasshopper Green

This isn't anything odd to me, but it's probably because I live in Utah. My boss has six children, my 35 year old coworker has 8 (9 actually, one died), and many of my friends growing up had 6 or 7 brothers or sisters. I knew one girl in my grade who was the youngest of 12. We were an "odd" family with only three! I can see benefits to having a larger family...but I'm content with my one

sexymama, that is a brilliant way of handling the babysitting.

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Tachion

I have never had any feedback about feeling bad about looking out for each other or that they felt we as parents where not there for them.

There are times when there are fewer in the house and the comments are usually about how they miss each other.

This isn't about deligation, its about learning to support and care for each other. The bigger family does make that lesson easier to learn and appreciate.

Hash_Browns

I'm guess what I wasn't expressing is that I see some Mom's my age who are foolish in thier birth control methods and instead of standing up and taking charge, they'd rather have the kids clean the house and make dinner and I've seen one Mom have her 9 yr. old smack his sibling (4yrs) by orders of his Mother. To me that's what I'm decribing as being the worse case senario I want to avoid.

You guys however have def. make it possible for me to see how this can work in a positive manner.

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silvertiger

well.. our kids actually "like" cooking .. so its not much of a neglect thing.. they bug us about it all the time.. hehe

Other than that .. I find that 4 girls is quite a challenge.. but the challenge lies mostly in the attitudes of the 2 middle kids and soon the youngest. I wouldnt have 5 ... but i wouldn't have had just 1.

depends on your level of patience.. I can't wait to hear the stories my kids tell about me ..

doodlebird

i admire your parenting abilities.

but if you're looking for where we all stand,
you can count me in the "you're nuts" category.

1 child wears me out.
2 might kill me.

i'm not ready to die just yet.
i need to get this one through college.
(that's a looong way off)
then i can die.

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xoxo
doodle

SuicideBlonde

Its getting easier now that they are 6 and almost 4 but the last 5 years have been pretty hellacious. If all children were as easy as my second I would have gladly had more. My first was quite a hand full, still is!

abaya

It's funny, growing up as an only child I never assumed I would have more than one. I saw other people fighting with their siblings, etc and didn't want any part of that for my own family. I always thought it was great to be/have an only child.

However, now that I am with ktspktsp and I see the detriment of small families (I am an only, he has one sister), especially with helping out the parents when they get old... I tend to think it is probably better to have at least two, maybe three for the sake of family dynamics. Wish I didn't have to be the one to pop them out, though.. why do I have to be the one with the uterus??

Dunno about more than 3, though... I mean, both my parents came from families of ten (10!), and it seems my grandmas were both just baby-making machines who worked themselves to the bone for most of their lives. I guess it would be fun to grow up in a big family with all those siblings above and/or below you... but being the parents, I dunno. Ktspktsp and I just value our privacy and time together too much still... we are still undecided about having children, let alone how many.

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