Sleeping. - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

K-Wise · 03-29-2005, 09:03 PM

Sleeping

I never wished for this feeling when I asked to kiss your lips last evening
And if you’re mad try to understand that I had plans to leave you sleeping
A nervous wreck of complete unrest and both my head and chest were beating
Wondering whether or not to disturb your slumber or to JUST leave you sleeping
Having not chosen the latter I gathered the outcome was rather misleading
Ever since thinking rather than speaking I should have just left you sleeping
But alas I chose to act and though I’ve left intact it still feels very defeating
All I have is the simple fact that if I had any tact I’d have just left you sleeping
You deserved more than my stupidity and if I could do it differently believe me
But now I need your forgiveness for failing to witness that you were sleeping
We’ve spoke since then, with no mention, I question if you remeber an inkling
I can’t be sure for I got no yes or no you just ignored it and continued sleeping
It’s not love I know the difference more of a genuine intrest I found you pleasing
But if the interest was shared I doubt that then&there would’ve seen you sleeping
I’ve regret but I can’t pretend I’d of been content to lay and hear you breathing
But I’d hate to lose another friend wondering what could’ve been if I’d of just....

Thank you for reading.

Asta!!

Hain · 03-29-2005, 09:10 PM

That's pretty cool. Who was it written for K-Wise?

Quote:

Having not chosen the latter I gathered the outcome was rather misleading

Ah yes... I still love poetry for life is expressed in it in not so many details but common emotions and feelings.

amonkie · 03-29-2005, 09:51 PM

After hearing you read Watercolor Woman outloud, everytime I see anything of yours, I can hear it in my head, especially as the rap

Great way to play the thoughts back and forth

K-Wise · 03-30-2005, 02:56 AM

Thank you both

Asta!!

tecoyah · 03-30-2005, 03:12 AM

excellent Wise....just damn good

K-Wise · 03-30-2005, 03:50 AM

Thank you Tecoyah. Knowing others as talented as those of you who have replied enjoy my work and see it as something of quality is an absolute joy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Augi

That's pretty cool. Who was it written for K-Wise?
Ah yes... I still love poetry for life is expressed in it in not so many details but common emotions and feelings.

It was technically written for me to get this out but it's about a young girl I talk to that though young has managed to make me quite fond of her. Not in a love sense but I care about her and she's growing on me. I know she finds me attractive as well but I don't think there is the kind of interest that would have her comfortable with me kissing her as there are elements I suppose that would make it confusing and/or complicated for her. That is all I will say.

Asta!!

03-31-2005, 04:32 PM

Stunning.... as always.

keep it up.

*hug*

K-Wise · 03-31-2005, 08:54 PM

^ Thanks. My only hope is that someday soon I'll no longer have to write poems like this one. Thankfully this one was just a harmless interest. Over the course of my life I've been getting rather used to rejection though. To the point where I'm just not gonna try anymore and if something happens something happens. I have a curse that I can't rid myself of and I have to deal with that. I'm just waiting for the girl who's looking for just that very thing.

Asta!!

vonstalhein · 04-02-2005, 11:47 AM

Ruddy good show! No rejection to be seen in our reaction to that poem at least eh!

K-Wise · 04-02-2005, 04:14 PM

^ Ya got that right man! Thanx

Asta!!

K-Wise · 04-29-2005, 04:51 AM

UP? Maybe 1 or 2 more replies?

Asta!!

cellophanedeity · 04-29-2005, 10:39 PM

[QUOTE=K-Wise]

I’ve regret but I can’t pretend I’d of been content to lay and hear you breathing
But I’d hate to lose another friend wondering what could’ve been if I’d of just....[/i]

[QUOTE]

I especially like these two lines. It's a great way to end the poem!

Quite a bit of talent you've got here!

K-Wise · 04-30-2005, 03:31 AM

^ Thanx!!

Wee. I almost put <i>left you sleeping...</i> at the end but as it was coming to a close I thought NO end it at "just" and place emphasis on it..it will make it more powerful...especially in spoken word (I should make one for this) because I felt it gave a certain sense of submission...like I couldn't bring myself to say it again..which I couldn't.

I'm glad you enjoyed it. I have more works but they're scattered throughout the forum. I think 2 or 3 more actual poems(Or what I considered poems), a couple of weekly activities, and the rest are all some of my rap lyrics that I posted.

Asta!!

tecoyah · 04-30-2005, 04:54 AM

tecoyah waits patiently........tapping his foot once in awhile......

I know there is more where this came from

K-Wise · 04-30-2005, 05:16 AM

^ No nothing more(Other than a possible audio file). We talked and I found out she wasn't interested in me that way. So we pushed it asside and went back to normal. I am getting rather used to rejection though...that may spawn another piece.

Asta!!

tecoyah · 04-30-2005, 07:19 AM

I meant the solid skill involved in the writting.....not the ephemoral flash of emotion in the subject.

You can write K-wise......I would love to see more
But...I am a greedy bastard

J.R.V.A. · 04-30-2005, 07:43 AM

Very good...I really liked the ending also, I am glad you chose this version

kramus · 04-30-2005, 08:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tecoyah

I meant the solid skill involved in the writting.....not the ephemoral flash of emotion in the subject.

You can write K-wise......I would love to see more
But...I am a greedy bastard

git off yer bunchie arse dewd and write on!

K-Wise · 04-30-2005, 04:18 PM

Well like I said I know I have other pieces in this forum..one pretty good poem you haven't replied to that maybe you haven't read yet. A few rap lyrics. My most recent drop was a short poem in Writing Challenge #14..I hadn't noticed 15 was already up lol. But yes you're right I should get to writing more it's just I like writing when they come to me. It's more genuine that way and I think the quality is better than if I'm just sitting down actually trying to think of a poem

.

Asta!!

kramus · 04-30-2005, 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by K-Wise

Well like I said I know I have other pieces in this forum..one pretty good poem you haven't replied to that maybe you haven't read yet. A few rap lyrics. My most recent drop was a short poem in Writing Challenge #14..I hadn't noticed 15 was already up lol. But yes you're right I should get to writing more it's just I like writing when they come to me. It's more genuine that way and I think the quality is better than if I'm just sitting down actually trying to think of a poem

.

Asta!!

I'm the same way with my art. Probably why I don't do well when someone asks me to create something specific - I just kinda go numb and don't want to draw nuffink.

xray21 · 05-05-2005, 09:32 PM

I liked that alot I almost thought i was in the room... Very good

questone · 05-15-2005, 04:59 PM

No rejection to be seen in our reaction to that poem at least eh!

K-Wise · 05-16-2005, 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vonstalhein

Ruddy good show! No rejection to be seen in our reaction to that poem at least eh!

Quote:

Originally Posted by questone

No rejection to be seen in our reaction to that poem at least eh!

Is there an echo in here?

Thanks for your response..it made me laugh

Asta!!

03-29-2005, 09:03 PM	#1 (permalink)
K-Wise It's All About The Ass!! Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!	Sleeping. Sleeping I never wished for this feeling when I asked to kiss your lips last evening And if you’re mad try to understand that I had plans to leave you sleeping A nervous wreck of complete unrest and both my head and chest were beating Wondering whether or not to disturb your slumber or to JUST leave you sleeping Having not chosen the latter I gathered the outcome was rather misleading Ever since thinking rather than speaking I should have just left you sleeping But alas I chose to act and though I’ve left intact it still feels very defeating All I have is the simple fact that if I had any tact I’d have just left you sleeping You deserved more than my stupidity and if I could do it differently believe me But now I need your forgiveness for failing to witness that you were sleeping We’ve spoke since then, with no mention, I question if you remeber an inkling I can’t be sure for I got no yes or no you just ignored it and continued sleeping It’s not love I know the difference more of a genuine intrest I found you pleasing But if the interest was shared I doubt that then&there would’ve seen you sleeping I’ve regret but I can’t pretend I’d of been content to lay and hear you breathing But I’d hate to lose another friend wondering what could’ve been if I’d of just.... Thank you for reading. Asta!! __________________ "I love music and it's my parents fault (closing statement)." - Me..quoting myself...from when I said that...On TFP..thats here...Tilted Forum Project *It ain't goodbye, it's see ya later! I'll miss you guys!* - Asta!! Last edited by K-Wise; 03-29-2005 at 09:06 PM..

03-29-2005, 09:51 PM	#3 (permalink)
amonkie Drifting Administrator Location: Windy City	After hearing you read Watercolor Woman outloud, everytime I see anything of yours, I can hear it in my head, especially as the rap Great way to play the thoughts back and forth __________________ Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna

03-30-2005, 02:56 AM	#4 (permalink)
K-Wise It's All About The Ass!! Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!	Thank you both Asta!! __________________ "I love music and it's my parents fault (closing statement)." - Me..quoting myself...from when I said that...On TFP..thats here...Tilted Forum Project *It ain't goodbye, it's see ya later! I'll miss you guys!* - Asta!!

03-30-2005, 03:12 AM	#5 (permalink)
tecoyah Illusionary	excellent Wise....just damn good __________________ Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

03-31-2005, 08:54 PM	#8 (permalink)
K-Wise It's All About The Ass!! Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!	^ Thanks. My only hope is that someday soon I'll no longer have to write poems like this one. Thankfully this one was just a harmless interest. Over the course of my life I've been getting rather used to rejection though. To the point where I'm just not gonna try anymore and if something happens something happens. I have a curse that I can't rid myself of and I have to deal with that. I'm just waiting for the girl who's looking for just that very thing. Asta!! __________________ "I love music and it's my parents fault (closing statement)." - Me..quoting myself...from when I said that...On TFP..thats here...Tilted Forum Project *It ain't goodbye, it's see ya later! I'll miss you guys!* - Asta!!

03-31-2005, 04:32 PM	#7 (permalink)
Untitled Guest	Stunning.... as always. keep it up. hug

04-02-2005, 11:47 AM	#9 (permalink)
vonstalhein Insane Location: Where You Live.	Ruddy good show! No rejection to be seen in our reaction to that poem at least eh! __________________ No Win No Fee

04-02-2005, 04:14 PM	#10 (permalink)
K-Wise It's All About The Ass!! Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!	^ Ya got that right man! Thanx Asta!! __________________ "I love music and it's my parents fault (closing statement)." - Me..quoting myself...from when I said that...On TFP..thats here...Tilted Forum Project *It ain't goodbye, it's see ya later! I'll miss you guys!* - Asta!!

04-29-2005, 04:51 AM	#11 (permalink)
K-Wise It's All About The Ass!! Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!	UP? Maybe 1 or 2 more replies? Asta!! __________________ "I love music and it's my parents fault (closing statement)." - Me..quoting myself...from when I said that...On TFP..thats here...Tilted Forum Project *It ain't goodbye, it's see ya later! I'll miss you guys!* - Asta!!

04-29-2005, 10:39 PM	#12 (permalink)
cellophanedeity Heliotrope Location: A warm room	[QUOTE=K-Wise] I’ve regret but I can’t pretend I’d of been content to lay and hear you breathing But I’d hate to lose another friend wondering what could’ve been if I’d of just....[/i] [QUOTE] I especially like these two lines. It's a great way to end the poem! Quite a bit of talent you've got here!

04-30-2005, 03:31 AM	#13 (permalink)
K-Wise It's All About The Ass!! Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!	^ Thanx!! Wee. I almost put <i>left you sleeping...</i> at the end but as it was coming to a close I thought NO end it at "just" and place emphasis on it..it will make it more powerful...especially in spoken word (I should make one for this) because I felt it gave a certain sense of submission...like I couldn't bring myself to say it again..which I couldn't. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I have more works but they're scattered throughout the forum. I think 2 or 3 more actual poems(Or what I considered poems), a couple of weekly activities, and the rest are all some of my rap lyrics that I posted. Asta!! __________________ "I love music and it's my parents fault (closing statement)." - Me..quoting myself...from when I said that...On TFP..thats here...Tilted Forum Project *It ain't goodbye, it's see ya later! I'll miss you guys!* - Asta!!

04-30-2005, 04:54 AM	#14 (permalink)
tecoyah Illusionary	tecoyah waits patiently........tapping his foot once in awhile...... I know there is more where this came from __________________ Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

04-30-2005, 05:16 AM	#15 (permalink)
K-Wise It's All About The Ass!! Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!	^ No nothing more(Other than a possible audio file). We talked and I found out she wasn't interested in me that way. So we pushed it asside and went back to normal. I am getting rather used to rejection though...that may spawn another piece. Asta!! __________________ "I love music and it's my parents fault (closing statement)." - Me..quoting myself...from when I said that...On TFP..thats here...Tilted Forum Project *It ain't goodbye, it's see ya later! I'll miss you guys!* - Asta!!

04-30-2005, 07:19 AM	#16 (permalink)
tecoyah Illusionary	I meant the solid skill involved in the writting.....not the ephemoral flash of emotion in the subject. You can write K-wise......I would love to see more But...I am a greedy bastard __________________ Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

04-30-2005, 07:43 AM	#17 (permalink)
J.R.V.A. Junkie Location: Utah	Very good...I really liked the ending also, I am glad you chose this version __________________ And as she plays, her sweet song of laughter floats through the air and warms my heart

04-30-2005, 04:18 PM	#19 (permalink)
K-Wise It's All About The Ass!! Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!	Well like I said I know I have other pieces in this forum..one pretty good poem you haven't replied to that maybe you haven't read yet. A few rap lyrics. My most recent drop was a short poem in Writing Challenge #14..I hadn't noticed 15 was already up lol. But yes you're right I should get to writing more it's just I like writing when they come to me. It's more genuine that way and I think the quality is better than if I'm just sitting down actually trying to think of a poem . Asta!! __________________ "I love music and it's my parents fault (closing statement)." - Me..quoting myself...from when I said that...On TFP..thats here...Tilted Forum Project *It ain't goodbye, it's see ya later! I'll miss you guys!* - Asta!!

05-05-2005, 09:32 PM	#21 (permalink)
xray21 Tilted Location: Oregon	I liked that alot I almost thought i was in the room... Very good __________________ Blessed By Pain

05-15-2005, 04:59 PM	#22 (permalink)
questone Crazy	No rejection to be seen in our reaction to that poem at least eh!