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Old 03-29-2005, 09:03 PM   #1 (permalink)
It's All About The Ass!!
 
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Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!
Sleeping.

Sleeping

I never wished for this feeling when I asked to kiss your lips last evening
And if you’re mad try to understand that I had plans to leave you sleeping
A nervous wreck of complete unrest and both my head and chest were beating
Wondering whether or not to disturb your slumber or to JUST leave you sleeping
Having not chosen the latter I gathered the outcome was rather misleading
Ever since thinking rather than speaking I should have just left you sleeping
But alas I chose to act and though I’ve left intact it still feels very defeating
All I have is the simple fact that if I had any tact I’d have just left you sleeping
You deserved more than my stupidity and if I could do it differently believe me
But now I need your forgiveness for failing to witness that you were sleeping
We’ve spoke since then, with no mention, I question if you remeber an inkling
I can’t be sure for I got no yes or no you just ignored it and continued sleeping
It’s not love I know the difference more of a genuine intrest I found you pleasing
But if the interest was shared I doubt that then&there would’ve seen you sleeping
I’ve regret but I can’t pretend I’d of been content to lay and hear you breathing
But I’d hate to lose another friend wondering what could’ve been if I’d of just....

Thank you for reading.

Asta!!
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Last edited by K-Wise; 03-29-2005 at 09:06 PM..
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Old 03-29-2005, 09:10 PM   #2 (permalink)
has a plan
 
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That's pretty cool. Who was it written for K-Wise?
Quote:
Having not chosen the latter I gathered the outcome was rather misleading
Ah yes... I still love poetry for life is expressed in it in not so many details but common emotions and feelings.
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Old 03-29-2005, 09:51 PM   #3 (permalink)
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After hearing you read Watercolor Woman outloud, everytime I see anything of yours, I can hear it in my head, especially as the rap Great way to play the thoughts back and forth
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Old 03-30-2005, 02:56 AM   #4 (permalink)
It's All About The Ass!!
 
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Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!
Thank you both

Asta!!
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Old 03-30-2005, 03:12 AM   #5 (permalink)
Illusionary
 
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excellent Wise....just damn good
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Old 03-30-2005, 03:50 AM   #6 (permalink)
It's All About The Ass!!
 
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Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!
Thank you Tecoyah. Knowing others as talented as those of you who have replied enjoy my work and see it as something of quality is an absolute joy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Augi
That's pretty cool. Who was it written for K-Wise?
Ah yes... I still love poetry for life is expressed in it in not so many details but common emotions and feelings.
It was technically written for me to get this out but it's about a young girl I talk to that though young has managed to make me quite fond of her. Not in a love sense but I care about her and she's growing on me. I know she finds me attractive as well but I don't think there is the kind of interest that would have her comfortable with me kissing her as there are elements I suppose that would make it confusing and/or complicated for her. That is all I will say.

Asta!!
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Old 03-31-2005, 04:32 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Stunning.... as always.

keep it up.

*hug*
 
Old 03-31-2005, 08:54 PM   #8 (permalink)
It's All About The Ass!!
 
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Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!
^ Thanks. My only hope is that someday soon I'll no longer have to write poems like this one. Thankfully this one was just a harmless interest. Over the course of my life I've been getting rather used to rejection though. To the point where I'm just not gonna try anymore and if something happens something happens. I have a curse that I can't rid myself of and I have to deal with that. I'm just waiting for the girl who's looking for just that very thing.

Asta!!
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Old 04-02-2005, 11:47 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Ruddy good show! No rejection to be seen in our reaction to that poem at least eh!
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Old 04-02-2005, 04:14 PM   #10 (permalink)
It's All About The Ass!!
 
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Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!
^ Ya got that right man! Thanx

Asta!!
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Old 04-29-2005, 04:51 AM   #11 (permalink)
It's All About The Ass!!
 
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Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!
UP? Maybe 1 or 2 more replies?

Asta!!
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Old 04-29-2005, 10:39 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Location: A warm room
[QUOTE=K-Wise]

I’ve regret but I can’t pretend I’d of been content to lay and hear you breathing
But I’d hate to lose another friend wondering what could’ve been if I’d of just....[/i]
[QUOTE]

I especially like these two lines. It's a great way to end the poem!

Quite a bit of talent you've got here!
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Old 04-30-2005, 03:31 AM   #13 (permalink)
It's All About The Ass!!
 
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Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!
^ Thanx!! Wee. I almost put <i>left you sleeping...</i> at the end but as it was coming to a close I thought NO end it at "just" and place emphasis on it..it will make it more powerful...especially in spoken word (I should make one for this) because I felt it gave a certain sense of submission...like I couldn't bring myself to say it again..which I couldn't.

I'm glad you enjoyed it. I have more works but they're scattered throughout the forum. I think 2 or 3 more actual poems(Or what I considered poems), a couple of weekly activities, and the rest are all some of my rap lyrics that I posted.

Asta!!
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Old 04-30-2005, 04:54 AM   #14 (permalink)
Illusionary
 
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tecoyah waits patiently........tapping his foot once in awhile......

I know there is more where this came from
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Old 04-30-2005, 05:16 AM   #15 (permalink)
It's All About The Ass!!
 
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Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!
^ No nothing more(Other than a possible audio file). We talked and I found out she wasn't interested in me that way. So we pushed it asside and went back to normal. I am getting rather used to rejection though...that may spawn another piece.

Asta!!
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Old 04-30-2005, 07:19 AM   #16 (permalink)
Illusionary
 
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I meant the solid skill involved in the writting.....not the ephemoral flash of emotion in the subject.

You can write K-wise......I would love to see more
But...I am a greedy bastard
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Old 04-30-2005, 07:43 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Location: Utah
Very good...I really liked the ending also, I am glad you chose this version
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Old 04-30-2005, 08:08 AM   #18 (permalink)
loving the curves
 
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Location: my Lady's manor
Quote:
Originally Posted by tecoyah
I meant the solid skill involved in the writting.....not the ephemoral flash of emotion in the subject.

You can write K-wise......I would love to see more
But...I am a greedy bastard
git off yer bunchie arse dewd and write on!
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Old 04-30-2005, 04:18 PM   #19 (permalink)
It's All About The Ass!!
 
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Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!
Well like I said I know I have other pieces in this forum..one pretty good poem you haven't replied to that maybe you haven't read yet. A few rap lyrics. My most recent drop was a short poem in Writing Challenge #14..I hadn't noticed 15 was already up lol. But yes you're right I should get to writing more it's just I like writing when they come to me. It's more genuine that way and I think the quality is better than if I'm just sitting down actually trying to think of a poem .

Asta!!
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"I love music and it's my parents fault (closing statement)." - Me..quoting myself...from when I said that...On TFP..thats here...Tilted Forum Project

It ain't goodbye, it's see ya later! I'll miss you guys! - Asta!!
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Old 04-30-2005, 04:36 PM   #20 (permalink)
loving the curves
 
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Location: my Lady's manor
Quote:
Originally Posted by K-Wise
Well like I said I know I have other pieces in this forum..one pretty good poem you haven't replied to that maybe you haven't read yet. A few rap lyrics. My most recent drop was a short poem in Writing Challenge #14..I hadn't noticed 15 was already up lol. But yes you're right I should get to writing more it's just I like writing when they come to me. It's more genuine that way and I think the quality is better than if I'm just sitting down actually trying to think of a poem .

Asta!!
I'm the same way with my art. Probably why I don't do well when someone asks me to create something specific - I just kinda go numb and don't want to draw nuffink.
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Old 05-05-2005, 09:32 PM   #21 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Location: Oregon
I liked that alot I almost thought i was in the room... Very good
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Old 05-15-2005, 04:59 PM   #22 (permalink)
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No rejection to be seen in our reaction to that poem at least eh!
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Old 05-16-2005, 03:23 PM   #23 (permalink)
It's All About The Ass!!
 
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Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by vonstalhein
Ruddy good show! No rejection to be seen in our reaction to that poem at least eh!
Quote:
Originally Posted by questone
No rejection to be seen in our reaction to that poem at least eh!
Is there an echo in here? Thanks for your response..it made me laugh

Asta!!
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