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Sleeping.
Sleeping I never wished for this feeling when I asked to kiss your lips last evening And if you’re mad try to understand that I had plans to leave you sleeping A nervous wreck of complete unrest and both my head and chest were beating Wondering whether or not to disturb your slumber or to JUST leave you sleeping Having not chosen the latter I gathered the outcome was rather misleading Ever since thinking rather than speaking I should have just left you sleeping But alas I chose to act and though I’ve left intact it still feels very defeating All I have is the simple fact that if I had any tact I’d have just left you sleeping You deserved more than my stupidity and if I could do it differently believe me But now I need your forgiveness for failing to witness that you were sleeping We’ve spoke since then, with no mention, I question if you remeber an inkling I can’t be sure for I got no yes or no you just ignored it and continued sleeping It’s not love I know the difference more of a genuine intrest I found you pleasing But if the interest was shared I doubt that then&there would’ve seen you sleeping I’ve regret but I can’t pretend I’d of been content to lay and hear you breathing But I’d hate to lose another friend wondering what could’ve been if I’d of just.... Thank you for reading. Asta!! |
That's pretty cool. Who was it written for K-Wise?
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After hearing you read Watercolor Woman outloud, everytime I see anything of yours, I can hear it in my head, especially as the rap :) Great way to play the thoughts back and forth
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Thank you both
Asta!! |
excellent Wise....just damn good
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Thank you Tecoyah. Knowing others as talented as those of you who have replied enjoy my work and see it as something of quality is an absolute joy.
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Asta!! |
Stunning.... as always.
keep it up. *hug* |
^ Thanks. My only hope is that someday soon I'll no longer have to write poems like this one. Thankfully this one was just a harmless interest. Over the course of my life I've been getting rather used to rejection though. To the point where I'm just not gonna try anymore and if something happens something happens. I have a curse that I can't rid myself of and I have to deal with that. I'm just waiting for the girl who's looking for just that very thing.
Asta!! |
Ruddy good show! No rejection to be seen in our reaction to that poem at least eh!
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^ Ya got that right man! Thanx
Asta!! :thumbsup: |
UP? Maybe 1 or 2 more replies? :D
Asta!! |
[QUOTE=K-Wise]
I’ve regret but I can’t pretend I’d of been content to lay and hear you breathing But I’d hate to lose another friend wondering what could’ve been if I’d of just....[/i] I especially like these two lines. It's a great way to end the poem! Quite a bit of talent you've got here! :D |
^ Thanx!! :D Wee. I almost put <i>left you sleeping...</i> at the end but as it was coming to a close I thought NO end it at "just" and place emphasis on it..it will make it more powerful...especially in spoken word (I should make one for this) because I felt it gave a certain sense of submission...like I couldn't bring myself to say it again..which I couldn't.
I'm glad you enjoyed it. I have more works but they're scattered throughout the forum. I think 2 or 3 more actual poems(Or what I considered poems), a couple of weekly activities, and the rest are all some of my rap lyrics that I posted. Asta!! :D |
tecoyah waits patiently........tapping his foot once in awhile......
I know there is more where this came from |
^ No nothing more(Other than a possible audio file). We talked and I found out she wasn't interested in me that way. So we pushed it asside and went back to normal. I am getting rather used to rejection though...that may spawn another piece.
Asta!! |
I meant the solid skill involved in the writting.....not the ephemoral flash of emotion in the subject.
You can write K-wise......I would love to see more But...I am a greedy bastard |
Very good...I really liked the ending also, I am glad you chose this version
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Well like I said I know I have other pieces in this forum..one pretty good poem you haven't replied to that maybe you haven't read yet. A few rap lyrics. My most recent drop was a short poem in Writing Challenge #14..I hadn't noticed 15 was already up lol. But yes you're right I should get to writing more it's just I like writing when they come to me. It's more genuine that way and I think the quality is better than if I'm just sitting down actually trying to think of a poem :).
Asta!! |
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I liked that alot I almost thought i was in the room... Very good
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No rejection to be seen in our reaction to that poem at least eh!
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Asta!! :thumbsup: |
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