Tira_Lee

Ok, I think this sorta applies here....I am wondering if anyone out there can give me some financial advice for planning a wedding. Are there loans that I could take out to pay for it? It seems like my mother will not be able to help me out in the money department. I will be having an extremely small wedding (max 35 ppl.) Any help would be great. Thanks.

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maleficent

For a wedding you want to set your budget ahead of time... I probably wouldn't take out a loan to pay for the wedding, just go with what you can afford.

1. What type of wedding do you want? Formal, informal,
This also would dictate your dress and his tux...
2. Where do you want the wedding? Restaurant, hotel, home
3. you've got your guest list already - make sure there wouldn't be additions
for such a small number of people, you could think about a destination wedding... where your friends all go to a specific place and watch you get married on the beach.. (friends of mine did this on petit st vincent and it was beautiful...)

You really need to know what your budget is before you start thinking about loans...

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ShaniFaye

I am a firm believer in not going into debt for a wedding. Depending on what you're wanting there are SO many options out there. Our wedding was around 5k (including our honeymoon) and we DIY'd a lot of it ourselves, simply because once the word wedding is added to something the price increases 200% lol

You need to know what you absolutely have to have and what you can live without...for example, for us (we had a Renaissance wedding) I'd have loved another bagpiper and a drummer, but our budget only allowed us one, I made all the flowers myself and we did all the food (and ours was a slightly bigger wedding than what you indicated yours would be)

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

Tira_Lee

thanks alot.


As for a list of things....I have pretty much got that down. I am an artsy kinda gal....so I will be doing ALOT of the decor as well as the invites on my own. I have actually been looking into a destination wedding. I don't know...my biggest problem right now is I'm in college still so I don't have much money saved up he's in the marines so he's got some money but my mother (who I would like to have help) is not really being all that supportive of my decision so I'm trying to figure out alternative ways of paying for the wedding. That's really why I asked about the loan.

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SirLance

You don't want to start your life together with a debt.

Part of what makes weddings expensive is hall rental and catering. So, if you can control those (by having say, your local supermarket prepare some hors d'oveurs at $50 a platter) and using, perhaps, someone's home for the reception.

The problem with destination weddings (like Sandals) is that your wedding party gets a travel bill.... probably not a good idea if everyone's struggling for money. A week at Sandals runs 3 - 5k, so you won't want that anyway...

Doing your own decor and flowers will save you a bundle. Avoid the limo. You'll want a photographer and a videographer, which will cost about 1.2k for both, but maybe you could get someone to give you one of those as a wedding gift.

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Tira_Lee

thanks, those are actually some pretty good ideas to save money. I appreciate it.

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spindles

And if you are really cost conscious, dump the videographer - who watches their wedding video anyway?

If money is really tight, consider what you are providing for your guests (i.e. full sit down meal etc.). If you want a meal, perhaps ask your guests to pay for their meal and skip giving you gifts. Where there is a will there is a way.

For a real budget wedding, you maybe have to decide if you can cut that guest list further - there are people who were at our wedding that I have hardly seen since - perhaps I could've culled some of them

If you are lucky (as we were), you may have some one (a relative other than your mum), who is willing (in lieu of a wedding gift) to buy or put money towards the bigger items - my wife's brother paid for her dress, which in our case was about 2000 AUD I didn't have to come up with.

I also agree with those above - don't go into debt if you can help it.

I have also quite recently been to a church wedding where the bride and groom had "afternoon tea" at the church with the guests rather than a full blown reception - they were both students and couldn't afford anything else - and a bunch of people from the church did the "catering". This way they could invite everyone they wanted without blowing their tiny budget.

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ShaniFaye

We ended up not doing it....but my original plan had been to have a "covered dish reception"

in the end we bought everything from Sams and made all the food ourselves, we stuck with finger foods instead of a sit down meal. The wedding was at 2 which meant the reception started at 3....thats between lunch and dinner, no need to provide a MEAL at that time. So you might want to think about "time of day" when deciding your budget.

another thing....alcohol is not a "must". We didnt have it....I wasnt paying for everybody to get drunk so they could drive home lol we supplied sodas/tea/water I think we bought 100 dollars worth of drinks and had a several 12 packs of the soda left.

sidenote....we bought rootbeer for Dave and his dad cause they dont drink soda...would you believe we actually had to go and restock it cause thats what everybody was grabbing lol guess thats what happens when you splurge and buy IBC

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

SirLance

I guess I'm the one... I've been married since 10/28, and I think I've seen the video 4 times now...

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DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.

ShaniFaye

no sir lance its not just you....we dont even have our "official" dvd yet (its still in post production) but we have watched what got taped on our own video camera countless times, and I cry every single time

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

Rodney

My wife is an ordained minister, though without a church, and for a while she did quite a lot of weddings. She doesn't charge a lot (actually, she doesn't charge anything, but they usually volunteer something). For that reason, I've seen a lot of weddings that were put on by people who don't have a lot of money. And there are ways of doing it quite well.

* Use a public venue. Where I live, the city and county park systems have halls and venues and outdoor plazas that can be rented pretty cheaply. One couple got married in the rec room of someone's parents' trailer park. And there have been weddings on the beach, which is the ultimate cheap impressive wedding. State parks aren't bad, either.

* Get your friends involved to save money. One couple reserved an old schoolhouse at a public park (see above) for both the wedding and the reception. One group of friends arrived early to set up for the wedding. After the wedding and before the reception, everybody joined forces to clear away the chairs, bring out and set up the tables, and set them. Then they sat down. The way everybody worked together to make the wedding work for this obviously not-rich couple -- well, in its way it made for a more impressive wedding than all the caterers you could buy. Nobody got all touchy feely, but you could feel the love.

* Keep the food simple. What's wrong with an afternoon wedding with cake and punch and maybe a little champagne? Nothing wrong with friends helping you potluck it, either.

* Forget videography, unless you have an amateur friend who wants to do it. As far as cheap photos are concerned, the best scheme I ever saw involved buying a couple of dozen disposable cameras and passing them out among the guests. At the end of the reception you collect them, have them developed, and have enlargements made of the best. You can also have a party later and invite friends to come over and see _all_ of the pictures.

*Clothing. Some people get married in elaborate wedding dresses and rented tuxedos. Some people get married in sportcoats and nice dresses. I knew one couple who got married in clown suits. As long as the love is there, it doesn't matter.

* Entertainment. You can handle that.

I wouldn't go into debt for a wedding. A wedding is a symbol, but it shouldn't be a fantasy. I knew one preacher, not my wife, who walked out of his commitment to officiate at a wedding because it was too decadently luxurious -- tens of thousands of dollars for flowers, a wedding dress that cost more than most peoples' cars, and so on. A wedding is about love. Focus on that, not the fantasy, and you'll have as great a wedding as that couple in the old schoolhouse.

ShaniFaye

While I agree with most of what rodney said I'd like to touch on two things

(remember I run a wedding board so I hear lots of wedding day horror stories)

ditch the disposable camera idea, it most cases you really wont get what you want and you'll end up with mostly pictures of the ceiling and/or floor, or of the guests and not that many of you.

check out your local colleges that have photography students, most of those will do it for almost nothing, if not nothing, to be able to start working on their portfolio. We were lucky in the sense that dave had a cousin wanting to get into wedding photography and he did the entire thing (developing and all) for free so that he could use us a reference and get practice. If you know someone with a video camera (and you dont have the budget for a videographer) ask them to video the day for you. Dave's best friend, who does music video production and another close friend, who films for the history channel set up 2 cameras in the church and one wore a steady cam almost the whole time....but it was free for us as a wedding gift.

I disagree that it "shouldnt be a fantasy" Dave and I managed to have our fantasy wedding for under 5k and that included the honeymoon....and I do mean that included everything. It IS possible to have a fantasy wedding on a budget....fantasy does not have to equal 10's of thousands of dollars.

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

Tira_Lee

this is giving me alot of good ideas


and actually, even if I did take out a loan, the small wedding that I want should only run 7k max so...that's not really that bad. I'm not looking for an all out princess kind of wedding. Just something simple and nice that I won't look back at and be dissapointed. I don't agree with the disposable camera idea either...I may do that but also hire a friend to do professional shots that will look nicer. As for a videographer...I really don't want one to be honest. Pictures last a lifetime so thats good enough for me.

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Lead543

theknot.com (if you register...it's free) has a section where you can budget out all your expenses. Since you're artsy (like mee!!) I'd hit up a store like Micheals, they have a wedding section, for inspiration, then go to a cheaper store to buy materials for decorations. Also, if you set a date is there a way to save a portion of each paycheck so a loan won't be so steep? (I've started saving already....and my wedding is 5 years away )

ShaniFaye

When dave and I set our date, part of what we took into consideration was how many paychecks we would receive by the wedding date....we set our 5k budget and divided out how much we had to have from each check to meet our goal

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

Cimarron29414

Tira_Lee

First of all, if you take out a loan for your wedding I will kick you in the butt!!! There is no due date for a wedding. You are going to spend your whole life together, what is the hurry to acquire a label? If you can save $200/month and your budget is $2000, then set a date for 11 months from now.

The fact is, a wedding is the single biggest waste of money you will ever have in your life. Shani, I know you are going to disagree with me on that one, but hear me out. The amount you will remember of that day compared to the amount you spend is tremendously disproportionate. You will get the video back and go "Oh yeah, that DID happen. I forgot about that...." Shani is ENTIRELY correct about the alcohol - it is the biggest waste of money at a wedding. You are paying for all of your friends to have a good time - you will primarily be pulled from one event to another...pictures...now entrance...now first dance...now toast....now cake....now garter....now change for exit...now exit. It is a giant blur. If you want to make an investment in your future: elope and save the money for a house downpayment.

The ingredients for a good wedding day are this: two people that love each other, two well-intentioned vows, and a healthy dose of well-wishing from loved ones. It requires nothing else! It was a good wedding, if and ONLY if, there is one more happy married couple at the end of it. I tried to bribe my wife to elope with a 2 week honeymoon in Greece. Her reply, "I'm HAVING a wedding." So, we had our wedding for around $4000 and went to Florida for the honeymoon. On Wednesday of the honeymoon, wifey turns to me and says, "Cim, I should have taken you up on Greece."

Secondly, you need to figure out what your mother's objections are because I have learned that they have a knack for being RIGHT! If you are unwilling to listen to her, and that is a completely valid feeling, you could cut costs on the wedding by eliminating guests, starting with her. The argument here is that, on your wedding day, you should surround yourself with people who will be supportive of your marriage. If your mother is not going to be supportive, she will bring the occasion down and that is no way to start the rest of your life.

Don't take out a loan.

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