cierah

Okay. So I've been talking to different people about my 'problems' and it comes up repeatedly that I should maybe, probably look into getting couselling. This thought, for some completely unrational reason, actually scares me, more than a little. It came up when I posted this thread, http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?t=87335 about my life as well. I am a student as well as being in the army reserves which means that I am very poor and I don't want to pay someone. So, any great ideas?

I've thought about going to AA but I'M not an alchoholic but it is in my family. The thing with that, though, is that I wouldn't want to go alone - at least to the first couple and I don't know if that would be the best thing for me and if I am gonna do this, I don't want it to be a horrible experience. You know?

I actaully do sorta believe that I do need at least some form of couselling but you know asking for help is scary.

I don't know what to do... help?

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"You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories" -Stainslaw J. Lec

maleficent

Friends and Family of alcoholics are always welcome at AA Meetings, but the better choice would be Al-Anon -- Since Canada is a pretty big place... here's a website that will help you find a meeting: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html

For the first meetings, you honestly,don't have to do anything, you can just sit there an listen to people's stories. When you are ready, you can talk... someone may say something that strikes a chord with y ou and it may really want to make you speak.

Under Canadian health care, is any sort of mental health covered? What about counseling office at your school, or even in the army, I'd imagine one of those places would offer low cost or no cost counseling.

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Elphaba

I agree with Mal completely except, give careful consideration about using public mental health care. Things may not be as draconian in Canada as it is here in the US, but it is possible here to be stigmatized by insurance companies for seeking out mental health treatment even for something as ordinary as depression.

I recommend the privacy of a non-profit group such as AA, if that fits your needs.

Best wishes to you

Zeraph

You've already taken the first step to getting help and you have the strength to take the next. Now just take a few more and before you know it youll be on the road to success. I know you can do it.

Zeraph

I should also say I know someone personally who has had his life turned around by AA. He basically said they saved his life. Theyre a great organization.

Lebell

As mentioned, some cities have public programs, but some do not.

I would personally encourage you to seek out someone to talk to.

You don't have to be 'crazy' to want to get another opinion or just an uninterested party to "bitch" to and you probably will learn some things about yourself.

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"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." – C. S. Lewis

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Anexkahn

I would look into something through the army. There is usually some form of anonymous couselling available to enlisted persons. I wouldn't be too concerned with any stigma from seeking help, your emotional wellbeing should come before any possible reprocussions from using any service out there.

Gilda

Interesting. I see a psychologist regularly, which is paid for by my medical insurance, and have never had the slightest problem with getting it fully covered.

__________________
I'm against ending blackness. I believe that everyone has a right to be black, it's a choice, and I support that.

~Steven Colbert

Seeker

I personally took myself off to counselling. I was at a point where I needed someone to help me, and the stigma of 'seeing a professional' or being scared of the process was pretty diminished by the time I sought help. I needed something.. I had come a long way on my own, but I needed help with the rest.

It was a hard task to undertake.. with my reduced capacity (as I'd like to refer to is as), I spent two years seeking help. I went to about 5 different people in that period of time before I found someone I trusted with the job. That was really important.

Another option we have in Australia is pretty much like AA, except it's called EA (Emotions Anonymous).. a twelve step system that I thought was really worthwhile. It addressed emotional issues directly in an accepting and comforting environment. Do you have an equivolent where you are?

I would say embrace it! Best thing I ever did for myself!

All the best to you!

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To those who wander but who are not lost...

~ Knowledge is not something you acquire, it is something you open yourself to.

Demeter

I'm from Alberta. I don't know what province you are in, or how different your health care system is, but here, you can get free mental health counselling if your family doctor refers you. Its a bit of a wait, depending on how severe they think you are feeling. A lot of people end up paying out of pocket to see someone sooner. So first thing, I would go see your physician.
Secondly, some health care workers & churches hold meetings, support groups and/or support services for people with depression & the like. My psychologists receptionist holds a group session once a month. Call your local health unit, hospital, or Catholic Family Services. I'm no religious person either, but when you need an ear, you need an ear.
Lastly, flip through your local phone book. There may be a listing in the yellow pages of support groups available.
And don't forget you're not alone. I've had to call the hospital & say I'm really f***ed up here and I'm scared. Its not a good feeling at first, but after you do it & hear another voice you feel better then. Hang in there, there is help.

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I am not bound to please thee with my answers.
William Shakespeare

cierah

I'm not depressed or suicidal. This is not an urgent problem. I am just really fucked up - with like relationships/control/trust issues. The whole asking for help thing just seems a little seedy to me. I'm not gonna go up to some random paster and say 'I have this problem'. I'm not gonna go to my doctor for a referral because like I said it's not THAT serious. I don't know what I am looking for -- and I obviously are not ready for it when I find it but thanks for the replies.

Actually the EA thing doesn't look to bad. hmmmm

__________________
"You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories" -Stainslaw J. Lec

Daniel_

I'm not religeous, but I know several people that find great solace in talking things over with their pastor/priest.

Most seminary training iincludes elements of outreach work in the community, and counselling is one of those areas that they are pretty good in.

If you are a member of a church, talk to the man at the front - if he can't help directly, he can probably refer you.

Good luck.

(PS - I pay fr my counsellor, because my insurancde doesn't cover it...)

pinkie

I've had the same shrink for 6 years now. He's been my therapist too. I am grateful daily for making the choice to seek help. According to my analyst, everyone could benefit from a good therapist/shrink. He even has one.

cierah

Hey. So I thought I'd update this topic.
When I got back to SK in January I was talking to one of my friends who had had a really rough summer and she started counselling - free - with the city. I went to talk to 'the turtle lady' (she had this whole ananlolgy about turtles lol) and got on a waiting list for 10 free sessions. After ten they reevaluate. I basically cried for the first hour and half that I was with turtle lady.
In april (i think) I got called to start meeting with my boo-hoo lady - I call her that because a couple of times I almost made her cry. She's really young - only a couple years older than me and not jaded yet. lol. Anyways, it's been going really well. No major break-throughs but I notice a difference in my relationships and such and I am discovering some crap about myself. Like I find cooking spiritual and that I may have anxiety issues.
Anyways, I thought I'd update. Thanks!

__________________
"You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories" -Stainslaw J. Lec

Rodney

Yay for you! Getting off the dime is the hardest part. Once you start examining your life with a half-decent therapist -- who's mainly there to help you question your own assumptions about you life -- things do start to improve. Even a few months can be a huge difference.

There may never be a major break-through. You may simply come to a point where you've learned enough and you look around one day at life and say, "Yeah, I guess I can do this after all.'

thingstodo

It's too bad so many people feel a stigma about asking for help. We should all be willing to ask for help - at work, with our personal lives, just about anything. People work best when they work together since we are basically social creatures.

Everyone needs someone to talk to. It could be about anything. That's why we have "best" friends. The Gallup organization has a survey for the health of a company that employees take (that's a very simplified explanation you can read about in a book First, Break All The Rules). One of the key 12 questions is I have a best friend at work. That doesn't mean your best from, but it does mean someone you trust that you can share stuff with.

When it gets beyond friends, you often need an objective person trained in listening. Their biggest job is helping you focus. That's why they ask so many questions.

Go for it...you've got nothing to lose and everything to gain!!

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