jthm

I don't know the purpose this post serves other than my own selfish need to vent my frustrations to anyone who cares to read. I just started university and decided to follow my brain rather than heart and in the process end up in a school where I know no one with my girlfriend miles away. In my entire life I have never been in the deep end like this and it's fucking hard. Not only do I have to try and make new friends which I am terrible at but I get to hear about my girlfriend drinking more than she should and all her problems along with the good times she is having with my friends. Like I said no clue why I am posting this, maybe looking for company(misery loves it) or encouragement or some shit, whatever...

Rdr4evr

In this case you should be glad you followed your brain rather than heart. It will pay off in the long run. I would normally say follow your heart...but it really depends on the situation. In this sitiuation, you did good. Friends will come and go, girlfriends will come and go, but an education will remain with you forever.

roboshark

This is just a phase, due to the sudden change in circumstances. You miss the life you left behind, you're envious of the fun your friends are having without you. It's all part of going to University, growing up, moving on. But it will pass, trust me.

It's hard making friends, I know. But try and do so, and you'll soon learn to love university life. Make friends at college events, bars, or during class, workgroups, projects. And concentrate on your life and the fun things you do instead of holding on to what you left behind, because that just isn't gonna be the same anymore, even if you do go back during holidays or whatever. It's time to move on. I'm not saying drop your old friends, no; but restructure your life around your current surroundings. Your old friends will be there for you always, if they are real friends, so you don't have to worry about losing out on all the fun they're having now without you...

__________________
I want no escape.

whocarz

Remember, your hand is all you ever need.

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If there exists anything mightier than destiny, then it is the courage to face destiny unflinchingly. -Geibel

Despise not death, but welcome it, for nature wills it like all else. -Marcus Aurelius

Come on, you sons of bitches! Do you want to live forever? -GySgt. Daniel J. "Dan" Daly

MSD

I found that two unexpected ways to make friends were to wear a t-shirt of an obscure (non-mainstream) band I like, and to walk into the game room and pick up a pool cue.

la petite moi

I'm so sorry this is happening for you too. My boyfriend moved away to college last year, and we're miles apart. We are both hermits and don't make friends easily, so things have been very rough. Just keep in touch with your girlfriend and TRY to make friends no matter what. Good luck, buddy.

Amarth

*_* Gak! Friends will come and go? What type of friends are you making? I agree with the course of action you decided on, but following your brain over your heart is never the right decision. Education will stay with you forever, but what good is education... a good job... lotsa money... when you don't have those really close friends that you could enjoy it with? Maybe I'm the confused one, but that's my outlook on it. However, hopefully you still keep in touch with your old friends, well, at least the ones you were really close to. In that case, no amount of geographical distance can separate a real friendship. There's always ways to stay connected in this modern world, and that's the important part of a friendship, two souls connecting. Wow, it appears as though I've ranted off the subject a bit. I hope I wasn't mean or anything. Good luck with your situation, and don't worry. No matter how lonely you get, you still have all your buds on TFP ^_^.

Rdr4evr

Obviously not very good ones! . Now that I read your post I may lean a bit towards your side a bit more. It depends how you look at it though. Either your broke and uneducated with good friends, or your rich and educated with no friends. In the long run...being finacially secure seems like it would save for a lot of heart ache. And who says you wont make any more friends??

Nefir

You cast your situation into a light more negative than it really is! Consider this a perfect chance to practice your social skills, and by the time you first month is through, you won't feel so alone anymore.

I second MrSelfDestruct's suggestions (and jotting them down in my own little mental file as well). You just got here. Now make the best of it!

Oh, and don't let the fact that your girlfriend is having fun with your friends bring on any sort of jealous feelings - the consequences of that are far worse than any separation anxiety you might be experiencing right now.

Best of luck, dude.

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yakimushi

I hate to be the first downer in the thread... but college isn't the lonliest place.

Try after college, when you move away from all the close ties you've made, your girl of 2 years runs off with someone she met in Hawaii, and you are in a city you hate with nobody you know and a job that doesn't afford the luxury of building friendships.

I would go back to college so fast just for the chance to be in an environment that supports meeting people!!! Take advantage of it, please. It doesn't last forever and it can only get harder after you graduate.

I've said this in other threads too. Find your RA. Talk to him/her. If anything, they can point you towards groups or clubs that you might have an interest in. Plus, they can introduce you to people on your hall that you might not have met yet. When I was an RA I did that a lot. "Hey, you like <activity>? Mike in 234 likes <activity> too."

Also, try not to match your GF and drink it up too much. She drinks too much and she might be living at home next year...

analog

We all make choices we believe to be the correct ones at the time of decision, or we know that it's the only available option, despite our misgivings.

I'm in the exact same boat right now- very, very alone. I share your pain. Things will look up- just keep working hard, and don't sacrifice your integrity for anything.

D_Nice

I'm pretty much in the same boat as you only without the g/f to talk to

I moved to virginia for a job and basically know absolutely no one here. The people that I work with aren't really the type of people that I hang out with and I'm not in school anymore. It's making the already difficult tasking of finding friends even harder. I'm thinking after the new year, I will sign up for a general class of interest at the local community college in an effort to meet new people. I've been on my own down here for over 3 months now and really haven't gone out

skills1

As someone else said, it's a phase, it will be over soon.

kcme

Well you know - I followed my heart. I'm at school with my girlfriend (can I still even call her that?) and, as every single person said, it was probably the wrong choice. Take advantage of this and find people with similar interests.

chickentribs

jthm - you made the brave and right decision. It is always a bit uncomfortable to get outside of your element for a bit, you need to keep clear focus on taking care of the things that you can control (ie. your studies) and just relax a bit and let the things you can't control (ie. new surroundings) take care of themselves. You will be amazed at how quickly life can turn on a dime for you. Keep your eye on the prize, as they say!

__________________
Oft expectation fails...
and most oft there Where most it promises
- Shakespeare, W.

bberryt2

Some of my very best friends were people that I knew for years before I actually talked to them. Once I had a conversation with them I found out they were not who or what I thought they were and we became friends. Some of them became best friends.

Put forth a little effort. Talk to people. Let them see who you are. You may be supprised at how fast people will warm up to you. And if they don't, what have you lost?

Frowning Budah

The first year is always the hardest, so many things you have to adjust to. Just relax and know things will get better.
Try this if you are looking to make a Friend, Look around and see who also is sitting by themselves and looking miserable and strike up a conversation.

PgUpPgDown

I have found later years in the university to be in fact harder, due to the heavy time pressure... What I have gained in academic stuff, I have lost in the social/living sector (and by that, I mean that I have *totally* missed some things during the last four years, such as finding a new g/f ).

I think anyone in this scenario has two options: either start living and let academics go to hell, or keep going under the tight schedule and hope something comes along (as it came to me last year - was with a girl for two weeks, dumped me because I had abolutely no time; and, I was apparently needy - gave me some independecy crap as an excuse, but that's a whole other thread by itself).

Rekna

Here is a suggestion that worked for me twice now. First when I went to college and second when I went to grad school.

Get involved in a local church (find a new main stream one that has good music and such). Volenteer to help out a little. The people who you will meet are some of the nicest people you will ever meet. Of course if you have a strong distaste against religion this won't work.

But you can stilll use this same idea in other areas. Join clubs that share common intrests with you. And just give it time. Moving to college was increadibly hard but after you meet people it is an amazing time.