absorbentishe

Didn't know where else to put this, so here goes.

In a nut shell, my parents want my wife and kids to move into their house, with a nominal rent paid to them. They are moving into my aunt's house (she passed away in December). My brothers and sister are okay with this. They want my children to get out of the school district we're in. The move would only be like a 6 mile move, but to a better school district. My wife and I think this is okay, but we also have our reservation. So I'd have to sell my house and actually add on to my parents house (it's about 400 sq ft. smaller). My parents are looking out for us, and that's totally cool. They want us to save as much money as we can, and eventually buy a new house, and if I don't have a house payment, I can stash away quite a bit.

Sorry for rambling, but what do you all think?

johnnymysto

Sounds good to me. Pay a small rent, save a bunch of money, and eventually add on to the house or buy a new house. I wouldn't recommend adding on to your parents' house right now, though. If you have to go into debt at the beginning of this deal, it's just going to set you back for the rest of the plan.

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Rodney

It sounds okay, but you really want to nail everything down in advance so nobody gets weird later because it didn't turn out the way they expected (but they didn't _tell_ anybody what they expected). But if what you can get everyone to agree to doesn't sound good to you, don't do it.

You should find out how many years your parents are okay with you staying there. Determine who's paying for major repairs -- if it needs a new roof, if the plumbing fails in a major way, if the heater needs replacing, etc. Think about what might happen if Mom & Dad die, or if there's a serious illness and they really need money. Will it be expected that you move out so that the house can be sold?

And if you add onto the house, who's paying for that? (And what do you get for the money or work you put in if they eventually sell the place.)

In short, get everyone's expectations in the same place -- yours, your parents, your brothers and sisters -- and you'll ensure family harmony down the line. I also would ask whether you really want to put money into an addition right now, if your job is to save. Could you get by with throwing a couple of storage units in the back yard to hold things that you don't have room for?

moonstrucksoul

doesn't sound like a bad idea, as long as your whole family agrees with it. Can't argue with better schools and a reduced morgage.

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Redlemon

My wife and I have discussed the future possibility of moving in with any of our parents; however, we realize that this would drive us insane in a short period of time. We love our parents, and they us, but there is a limit to everything.

I hope this is not the case for you.

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txlovely

Your brothers and sisters are key - if there will be animosity toward you and your family for taking advantage of this excellent offer by your parents, it may not be worth it. If they truly don't have a problem (and that includes their spouses), go for it - sounds like a good opportunity for all concerned. I would be careful with remodels you make, however if you make improvements to the property that eventually increase the resale value for your parents, they would probably be appreciative. I would certainly set a timeline for how long you plan to remain in the house and stick to it as well as either making improvements to the house and/or paying a small rent to your parents.

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Cynthetiq

get things in writing. it's not personal it's business, and since this is a business transaction write them down.

don't think that it's all good because it's family.

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Shpoop

one thing you never addressed: are the kids ok with it?

absorbentishe

Yes, everything will be in writing before hand. The family thing is what is holding me up too. I love them, but don't want them to think I getting something they aren't.

Are you asking if my kids are okay with this? If that's the question, then yes they are.

I like the idea of a timeline, I'll only live there x years, in that time I'd be able to horde away x amount of money, etc.

Kaos

Sounds like a great deal...the sale of your house can be used to build on/improve your parents house, with a lot of extra money left over. Not to mention cheap rent.

jbrooks544

What Rodney said.

Make the most of it. You can sell your house - or maybe rent it out if that would be better and cover its costs. If you sold it then where would be the best place to put the money? Buy land maybe for your future house and/or investment? Just thinking - not "advising".

Think about how much you can sock away for college or retirement or new house, etc. SWEET!

absorbentishe

Hey guys, thanks for all the advice. The new issue is... I can't get my wife to see any advantage in the situation. She just thinks that it is not her house, and there is some alternative motive by my parents. I've spoken with them, and they do not have anything like that, they are just looking out for their grandkids.

What can I do or say that will help persaude my wife into this? The one thing I've done is a plus minus kind of thing, and she only sees the minuses and won't even look at the pluses. I've totalled all of our bills now, and what they would be, and there's a huge difference, but she won't look at that either...

So far, we basically can't have a civil conversation about it.

Jennteel

Just to get your kids into a better school district is enough for me to say do it.

Rodney

It's a control issue for her. Not that she's trying to be controlling, but that she thinks your folks are impinging on her/your territory, somehow.

It also sounds like you're in the middle on this one. You're talking to your parents, and your wife is talking to you, but your wife isn't talking to your parents. That needs to happen if you need to her sign off. And you do. If hard dollar savings don't do it for her, if she only sees the negatives, then there's another negative there for her that you're going to have to find out about and deal with. Do they all get along together well?

agball

sounds good, Its always good to be in a better school system. I would try and work out a deal to buy your folks place rather than rent it. This way there can be no family issue down the road.

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raeanna74

Suggest that your wife write the "contract" that you all would sign. It might give her the control over this situation that you would need and it might give her the opportunity to addres some concerns that she may not be able to put into words right now. Writing things down is a great way to get your thoughts and emotions put into words. It gives you time to think about what is "said" because you aren't having an actual conversation in real time. Hope you can work it out.

I see a lot of really great advice here. I would say go for it.

I would move into a smaller house if it meant that my daughter had better schooling. There are no schools in my area that I like so I intend to homeschool her. (I'm just writing as I think here) have you all considered home schooling? I'm sure there's a home school group in your area - they're all over the place now - and you don't have to have even a college education to do it. I've see some really bright kids come out of a home where no one had a college education and then they excelled when they went off to college. You wouldn't necessarily have to move then - Just thinking here.

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