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Suggest that your wife write the "contract" that you all would sign. It might give her the control over this situation that you would need and it might give her the opportunity to addres some concerns that she may not be able to put into words right now. Writing things down is a great way to get your thoughts and emotions put into words. It gives you time to think about what is "said" because you aren't having an actual conversation in real time. Hope you can work it out.
I see a lot of really great advice here. I would say go for it.
I would move into a smaller house if it meant that my daughter had better schooling. There are no schools in my area that I like so I intend to homeschool her. (I'm just writing as I think here) have you all considered home schooling? I'm sure there's a home school group in your area - they're all over the place now - and you don't have to have even a college education to do it. I've see some really bright kids come out of a home where no one had a college education and then they excelled when they went off to college. You wouldn't necessarily have to move then - Just thinking here.
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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma. 
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