My ex wants me back after 2 1/2 months (long distance) - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

chelle21689 · 04-06-2011, 09:07 AM

We were together since we were 16 for 5 1/2 years but 2 1/2 years long distance. We've been through everything together, we grew up together, I stuck with him through the Army for a year. Distance was not a problem because we had a strong connection.

January 23rd, he was crying really hard on Skype telling me that his feelings changed. He felt like he no longer cared about our relationship and had no idea why. He said that if he could find a way he'd fix it but he feels like it's wrong to drag me along. I immediately went NC and told him to leave me alone so I can heal and that I'd contact him when I'm ready. No Facebook, no emails, NOTHING. He wasn't happy about that. But in the past 2 months of NC I improved my life so much. I look a lot better by changing my hair and clothes, I met someone new and he's so adventurous we ski, snowboard, sky dive, etc., I'm traveling to Asia, I was so happy with life even though I missed my ex.

When I started to feel like I was growing closer to this guy my ex contacted me! We have been talking for the past 3 days and he keeps telling me how he made the biggest mistake ever, he doesn't regret anything but breaking up with me was a huge regret, he doesn't want to see anyone else, he thinks I'm so compatible and IT for him, and that he wants me to be his girlfriend. He started crying when he found out through pics on Facebook I was seeing someone new. He said he wanted me back before he found out.

He said he felt so embarrassed to ask me. He said he wished he would've talked things out instead of break up with me and now he feels like he is paying a price because I am unsure and dating someone new.

I thought I was completely over my ex and falling for the guy I'm seeing...right when I felt like I was growing closer to him my ex pops back into my life...I do love my ex and we were compatable. We have a deep bond...but honestly I feel like he hasn't improved his life at all. I want to go back to him but something is telling me to stay with the new guy. I like the new guy and we have fun, there is a connection but I'm not sure if it's as deep as the ex and I. I feel like I should give the new guy a chance but I'm scared I'll regret not taking my ex back.

WHAT TO DO?!

Plan9 · 04-06-2011, 09:38 AM

You should never stay in a relationship with a man that cries. When a guy expresses feelings like that, it's a sure sign that he's total garbage.

KirStang · 04-06-2011, 09:39 AM

If the reasons/circumstances that lead to the breakdown of your relationship still exist, then, why do you think anything will change?

chelle21689 · 04-06-2011, 09:47 AM

That's why I don't want to be back with him. He said he still isn't 100% sure what happened but said he's going to find out. I told him it may be too late by the time he does. The next day he tried to tell me all the improvements he made but I'm not convinced because I need to see it. Actions speak louder than words ya know?

I think I know in my gut to not go back to him and it hurts because I wished so badly for him to come back to me. I just don't know if I'm making the right decision by declining him because his life isn't together and because I was happy with the new guy. It's not fair that things are set back because he pops back into my life =( I really do care for him still. I'm afraid that I'll regret not taking him back...I guess I don't want to admit things would fall apart if we did get back together. At least...right now I know its not right

Plan 9, I disagree. I don't think a man crying is a bad thing unless he cries all the time. the 5 years I've been with him this is the 3rd time I've heard him cry.

Baraka_Guru · 04-06-2011, 09:49 AM

In Homer's Iliad, the great Achilles son of Peleus—the most handsome yet most feared warrior of his time—wept openly amidst his men. However, it was because his best friend Patroclus was murdered by the reviled Prince Hector of Troy, who was Achilles' mortal enemy.

If a man cries like that in a relationship, he's either a poet (or some other artist type) or he needs medication, therapy, or a combination thereof.

He's too attached to you. It's unhealthy. He needs to know how to be alone, because he seems needy.

Stick with the guy who seems able to have a healthy relationship with you, and one that seems to be working.

Plan9 · 04-06-2011, 09:54 AM

Crying is an unacceptable male behavior. Period. Consult any psychology textbook written in the last five years. Ask any mental health professional.

Fact: Women everywhere, ages 18-35, are instantly turned off by it. The second their man cries, they immediately create a new account on Match.com.

...

Also Noteworthy: Numerous lofty European (excluding the French) social scientists with super fantastic beards are still trying to figure out why there is never any real happy medium between being "overbearing, too attached, stalkerish" and "neglectful, selfish, uncaring" in young couples' relationships.

Baraka_Guru · 04-06-2011, 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plan9

Crying is an unacceptable male behavior. Period. Consult any psychology textbook written in the last five years. Ask any mental health professional.

I hear it's unacceptable for men to play with their children too. I'm not sure what the current scholarship is saying about that, but the last time I checked, healthy men don't play with children either. There are so many obvious signs of male weakness it isn't funny. If only women knew how to read the signs. We're pretty easy to read.

Plan9 · 04-06-2011, 10:08 AM

Please accept my apology for the threadjack, Chelle. I won't derail your post any further.

I feel it was important for me to put that information out there, though. For the good of TFP.

You should never settle for a man that cries. You can find someone that isn't damaged goods.

Cimarron29414 · 04-06-2011, 10:11 AM

Don't get back with the ex. You would be doing it because it's comfortable.

Strange Famous · 04-06-2011, 10:14 AM

To be honest he sounds like quite a troubled person who maybe has some emotional issues.

That doesnt mean he cant have good qualities and you should never consider being with someone like that... but it does mean it probably will be hard work, and his instability is likely to rear up again.

If the guy you've been hanging out with now makes you feel happier and more confident, maybe it isnt the best idea to abandon that for a guy who is, at the best reading, pretty intense and pretty troubled. It also sounds like he is using his own unhappiness (which may well be genuine) to try and blackmail you. Again, thats not the best sign.

An intensity of feeling isnt always the same as happiness.

Only you can decide what you want... I myself would choose happiness and contentment over passion and pain.

chelle21689 · 04-06-2011, 10:16 AM

Well the thing is, I've never seen this emotional side of him in the past 5 1/2 years. It's just weird to hear things that are all mushy.

Cimarron29414 · 04-06-2011, 10:45 AM

He only wants you back because it is comfortable. Stay with the new guy. Grow.

monkeysugar · 04-11-2011, 11:15 PM

It sounds like you have a good thing going with the new guy. There's a reason (probably multiple reasons) things didn't work out with the ex. Learn from the past, and leave it in the past.

Plan9 · 04-11-2011, 11:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru

In Homer's Iliad, the great Achilles son of Peleus—the most handsome yet most feared warrior of his time—wept openly amidst his men. However, it was because his best friend Patroclus was murdered by the reviled Prince Hector of Troy, who was Achilles' mortal enemy.

I had a long response to this but I'll just say, "Your ridiculousness is epic." And I owe you a beer for this.

Xazy · 04-12-2011, 03:59 AM

My wife and I broke up once when dating and she went to Florida (from NYC) to get her doctorate. I will say my persistence was the wisest thing I ever did.

You have to evaluate for yourself what you want.

chelle21689 · 04-12-2011, 05:02 PM

How did you two end up back together? Just wondering...

dlish · 04-12-2011, 05:18 PM

what im wondering is two weeks later, have you made any decisions?

stellabella1978 · 04-12-2011, 05:24 PM

He is a vet, for pete's sake. I think you should give him some time to get some therapy, then go see him in a few months and make a decision. In the modern day we feel the need to solve everything immediately.

dlish · 04-12-2011, 05:29 PM

IIRC, it was her boyfriend that decided to call it quits not Chelle.

now that she's moved on with her life and found someone she's interested in, he wants he back?

If he ended it so quickly why should she take a few months to think about it?

KirStang · 04-12-2011, 05:36 PM

Stellabella, AFAIK her boyfriend has only gone to training, hasn't been deployed yet. Not quite a vet, yet.

stellabella1978 · 04-12-2011, 05:38 PM

KirStang, I disagree. Even training can be too much for some people. As a USO volunteer, I can say, any service makes a vet.

dlish · 04-12-2011, 05:46 PM

i think this is more of an issue with the tyranny of distance rather than an issue of mental health of a so-called vet.

KirStang · 04-12-2011, 07:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dlish

i think this is more of an issue with the tyranny of distance rather than an issue of mental health of a so-called vet.

Agreed. /Hijack.

So Chelle, any late breaking developments?

LordEden · 04-13-2011, 04:17 AM

$10 says she has already taken him back.

Martian · 04-13-2011, 04:46 AM

It's like my very own Mexican Soap Opera, only slightly less comprehensible.

Cynthetiq · 04-13-2011, 05:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Martian

It's like my very own Mexican Soap Opera, only slightly less comprehensible.

and less hot chicas with their tetas hanging out.

The_Jazz · 04-13-2011, 05:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stellabella1978

He is a vet, for pete's sake. I think you should give him some time to get some therapy, then go see him in a few months and make a decision. In the modern day we feel the need to solve everything immediately.

Quote:

Originally Posted by stellabella1978

KirStang, I disagree. Even training can be too much for some people. As a USO volunteer, I can say, any service makes a vet.

Wait, what? He's been through training, so therefore he needs therapy? Is that official USO policy? If it's not, it makes no sense. If it is, well, it still makes no sense, but I'll go easier on you.

Actually, it's just pretty obvious you haven't read the whole thread. Or seen any of the other threads. Let me know if you need help finding those.

chelle21689 · 04-13-2011, 08:29 AM

Well, I noticed he started acting funny when he started a language course for school that he had to learn to be fluent in 8 months learning about 50 new words a day, training, etc. I guess some people don't know how to handle stress and a relationship especially long distance I guess?

I talked to him and he said that when he wanted me back he didn't know I was seeing someone after. I thought he only wanted me back because of that but that day he called he was expressing himself and then called back again when he saw the pictures right after we hung up.

I didn't take him back, so you lost your $10! LOL. It's been about a week now and I know what decision to make. I wouldn't be happy going back because nothing has changed...it'll be the same/worse instead of better. Who knows what will happen in the future...maybe this guy could be the one, maybe I'll meet someone better than these two, maybe I'll end up back with my ex. Wherever life takes me.

I do keep in touch with my ex though. He's been calling me every day now but I'm going to set boundaries. The tables have turned...of course he says he hopes he gets his chance again and that me and the new guy don't last long. But I do want my ex to move on...if we were to ever try again I think a brand new slate would be needed. But even if we don't end up together, it's a win/win if there is no hurt and we are happy with our lives. Even though I'm not with him I do love him and I think I always will care...considering knowing him for 10 years since I was 12!

ChickenMuffin · 04-13-2011, 10:50 AM

Well, to sum things up from my experience just recently. I played it quite hard in getting my ex back and she was my first.

And..

My thoughts now and then have changed, for the better or worse, because it's not that easy to begin with living in a void, living and dying inside your head. Wanting what you want so much that you'd give up everything else to get it but the time still passes, the days go on... And as long as there's still a tomorrow, there's always a chance. "Go fourth and prosper."

chinese crested · 04-14-2011, 03:23 AM

Q. Has she told the new guy that she is considering dumping him yet? Maybe the ex threw out his tatty old slippers, and then decided they were more comfey than new ones.
The person you were loved the person he was - and the person he was loved the person you were - perhaps thats where that love belongs - as a warm memory.
If he has gone nutso after basic training, he is a liability to those serving with him, he needs to talk to his health care people. Cant help but think of the amount of times I have read the excuse of 'he had been in a war zone' to justify attrocities like shooting the missus or beating the dog or whatever.
She probably will take him back - and wont it be funny when, after she dumps the new guy, a couple of months go past and she feels obliged to write him on facebook saying she has made a mistake etc and wants to give it or him another go.

---------- Post added at 03:23 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:16 AM ----------

the $10 bet has yet to be won or lost - its been a week, and they are talking every day, and in the ladys own words, she may end up with him. The $10 bet is therefore still on the table me thinks.
Love yourself first - and he should do the same - love himself first. Some people need the crutch of A Person because they fear being alone. Some forget there is a transition period when they need to adjust to being with themselves.

genuinegirly · 04-14-2011, 03:47 AM

6 years ago my (now) husband told me that he didn't love me and I needed to find someone who could. It hurt. It took time for his heart to catch up to mine.

It was only after he saw me unhappy with someone else that he realized what he wanted: for me to be happy, and for me to spend more time with him. He didn't ask for me back, he simply asked to remain my friend. We were married three years later.

A lot can happen in a life that follows a natural course. Trust your heart. Watch life unfold before you.

chelle21689 · 04-15-2011, 08:46 AM

Wow my ex is not crazy and I DID NOT TAKE HIM BACK! READ ABOVE!! I know my decision. It's been 2 weeks since he wanted me back now. We both talked last night and agreed we did have feelings for eachother but we're on different paths and not waiting/sticking with eachother.

Thanks genuinegirly. I agree...trust the heart and watch life unfold.

Life is full of surprises...definitely

04-06-2011, 09:07 AM	#1 (permalink)
chelle21689 Tilted	My ex wants me back after 2 1/2 months (long distance) We were together since we were 16 for 5 1/2 years but 2 1/2 years long distance. We've been through everything together, we grew up together, I stuck with him through the Army for a year. Distance was not a problem because we had a strong connection. January 23rd, he was crying really hard on Skype telling me that his feelings changed. He felt like he no longer cared about our relationship and had no idea why. He said that if he could find a way he'd fix it but he feels like it's wrong to drag me along. I immediately went NC and told him to leave me alone so I can heal and that I'd contact him when I'm ready. No Facebook, no emails, NOTHING. He wasn't happy about that. But in the past 2 months of NC I improved my life so much. I look a lot better by changing my hair and clothes, I met someone new and he's so adventurous we ski, snowboard, sky dive, etc., I'm traveling to Asia, I was so happy with life even though I missed my ex. When I started to feel like I was growing closer to this guy my ex contacted me! We have been talking for the past 3 days and he keeps telling me how he made the biggest mistake ever, he doesn't regret anything but breaking up with me was a huge regret, he doesn't want to see anyone else, he thinks I'm so compatible and IT for him, and that he wants me to be his girlfriend. He started crying when he found out through pics on Facebook I was seeing someone new. He said he wanted me back before he found out. He said he felt so embarrassed to ask me. He said he wished he would've talked things out instead of break up with me and now he feels like he is paying a price because I am unsure and dating someone new. I thought I was completely over my ex and falling for the guy I'm seeing...right when I felt like I was growing closer to him my ex pops back into my life...I do love my ex and we were compatable. We have a deep bond...but honestly I feel like he hasn't improved his life at all. I want to go back to him but something is telling me to stay with the new guy. I like the new guy and we have fun, there is a connection but I'm not sure if it's as deep as the ex and I. I feel like I should give the new guy a chance but I'm scared I'll regret not taking my ex back. WHAT TO DO?!

04-06-2011, 09:38 AM	#2 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	You should never stay in a relationship with a man that cries. When a guy expresses feelings like that, it's a sure sign that he's total garbage. __________________ *Whatever you can carry.* "You should not drink... and bake."

04-06-2011, 09:47 AM	#4 (permalink)
chelle21689 Tilted	That's why I don't want to be back with him. He said he still isn't 100% sure what happened but said he's going to find out. I told him it may be too late by the time he does. The next day he tried to tell me all the improvements he made but I'm not convinced because I need to see it. Actions speak louder than words ya know? I think I know in my gut to not go back to him and it hurts because I wished so badly for him to come back to me. I just don't know if I'm making the right decision by declining him because his life isn't together and because I was happy with the new guy. It's not fair that things are set back because he pops back into my life =( I really do care for him still. I'm afraid that I'll regret not taking him back...I guess I don't want to admit things would fall apart if we did get back together. At least...right now I know its not right Plan 9, I disagree. I don't think a man crying is a bad thing unless he cries all the time. the 5 years I've been with him this is the 3rd time I've heard him cry. Last edited by chelle21689; 04-06-2011 at 09:51 AM..

04-06-2011, 09:49 AM	#5 (permalink)
Baraka_Guru warrior bodhisattva Super Moderator Location: East-central Canada	In Homer's Iliad, the great Achilles son of Peleus—the most handsome yet most feared warrior of his time—wept openly amidst his men. However, it was because his best friend Patroclus was murdered by the reviled Prince Hector of Troy, who was Achilles' mortal enemy. If a man cries like that in a relationship, he's either a poet (or some other artist type) or he needs medication, therapy, or a combination thereof. He's too attached to you. It's unhealthy. He needs to know how to be alone, because he seems needy. Stick with the guy who seems able to have a healthy relationship with you, and one that seems to be working. __________________ Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing? —Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön Humankind cannot bear very much reality. —From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot Last edited by Baraka_Guru; 04-06-2011 at 09:54 AM..

04-06-2011, 09:54 AM	#6 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	Crying is an unacceptable male behavior. Period. Consult any psychology textbook written in the last five years. Ask any mental health professional. Fact: Women everywhere, ages 18-35, are instantly turned off by it. The second their man cries, they immediately create a new account on Match.com. ... Also Noteworthy: Numerous lofty European (excluding the French) social scientists with super fantastic beards are still trying to figure out why there is never any real happy medium between being "overbearing, too attached, stalkerish" and "neglectful, selfish, uncaring" in young couples' relationships. __________________ *Whatever you can carry.* "You should not drink... and bake." Last edited by Plan9; 04-06-2011 at 10:02 AM..

04-06-2011, 10:08 AM	#8 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	Please accept my apology for the threadjack, Chelle. I won't derail your post any further. I feel it was important for me to put that information out there, though. For the good of TFP. You should never settle for a man that cries. You can find someone that isn't damaged goods. __________________ *Whatever you can carry.* "You should not drink... and bake."

04-06-2011, 10:11 AM	#9 (permalink)
Cimarron29414 Still Free Location: comfortably perched at the top of the bell curve!	Don't get back with the ex. You would be doing it because it's comfortable. __________________ Gives a man a halo, does mead. "Here lies The_Jazz: Killed by an ambitious, sparkly, pink butterfly."

04-06-2011, 10:14 AM	#10 (permalink)
Strange Famous follower of the child's crusade?	To be honest he sounds like quite a troubled person who maybe has some emotional issues. That doesnt mean he cant have good qualities and you should never consider being with someone like that... but it does mean it probably will be hard work, and his instability is likely to rear up again. If the guy you've been hanging out with now makes you feel happier and more confident, maybe it isnt the best idea to abandon that for a guy who is, at the best reading, pretty intense and pretty troubled. It also sounds like he is using his own unhappiness (which may well be genuine) to try and blackmail you. Again, thats not the best sign. An intensity of feeling isnt always the same as happiness. Only you can decide what you want... I myself would choose happiness and contentment over passion and pain. __________________ "Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate, for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain without being uncovered." The Gospel of Thomas

04-06-2011, 10:16 AM	#11 (permalink)
chelle21689 Tilted	Well the thing is, I've never seen this emotional side of him in the past 5 1/2 years. It's just weird to hear things that are all mushy.

04-06-2011, 10:45 AM	#12 (permalink)
Cimarron29414 Still Free Location: comfortably perched at the top of the bell curve!	He only wants you back because it is comfortable. Stay with the new guy. Grow. __________________ Gives a man a halo, does mead. "Here lies The_Jazz: Killed by an ambitious, sparkly, pink butterfly."

04-11-2011, 11:15 PM	#13 (permalink)
monkeysugar I'll be on the veranda, since you're on the cross. Location: Rand McNally's friendliest small town in America. They must have strayed from the dodgy parts...	It sounds like you have a good thing going with the new guy. There's a reason (probably multiple reasons) things didn't work out with the ex. Learn from the past, and leave it in the past. __________________ I've got the love of my life and a job that I enjoy most of the time. Life is good.

04-12-2011, 03:59 AM	#15 (permalink)
Xazy People in masks cannot be trusted Location: NYC	My wife and I broke up once when dating and she went to Florida (from NYC) to get her doctorate. I will say my persistence was the wisest thing I ever did. You have to evaluate for yourself what you want. __________________ Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

04-12-2011, 05:02 PM	#16 (permalink)
chelle21689 Tilted	How did you two end up back together? Just wondering...

04-12-2011, 05:18 PM	#17 (permalink)
dlish Currently sour but formerly Dlishs Super Moderator Location: Australia/UAE	what im wondering is two weeks later, have you made any decisions? __________________ An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay? - Filthy

04-12-2011, 05:24 PM	#18 (permalink)
stellabella1978 Upright Location: Portland, Oregon	He is a vet, for pete's sake. I think you should give him some time to get some therapy, then go see him in a few months and make a decision. In the modern day we feel the need to solve everything immediately.

04-12-2011, 05:29 PM	#19 (permalink)
dlish Currently sour but formerly Dlishs Super Moderator Location: Australia/UAE	IIRC, it was her boyfriend that decided to call it quits not Chelle. now that she's moved on with her life and found someone she's interested in, he wants he back? If he ended it so quickly why should she take a few months to think about it? __________________ An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay? - Filthy

04-12-2011, 05:38 PM	#21 (permalink)
stellabella1978 Upright Location: Portland, Oregon	KirStang, I disagree. Even training can be too much for some people. As a USO volunteer, I can say, any service makes a vet.

04-12-2011, 05:46 PM	#22 (permalink)
dlish Currently sour but formerly Dlishs Super Moderator Location: Australia/UAE	i think this is more of an issue with the tyranny of distance rather than an issue of mental health of a so-called vet. __________________ An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay? - Filthy

04-13-2011, 04:46 AM	#25 (permalink)
Martian Young Crumudgeon Location: Canada	It's like my very own Mexican Soap Opera, only slightly less comprehensible. __________________ I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said - Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

04-13-2011, 08:29 AM	#28 (permalink)
chelle21689 Tilted	Well, I noticed he started acting funny when he started a language course for school that he had to learn to be fluent in 8 months learning about 50 new words a day, training, etc. I guess some people don't know how to handle stress and a relationship especially long distance I guess? I talked to him and he said that when he wanted me back he didn't know I was seeing someone after. I thought he only wanted me back because of that but that day he called he was expressing himself and then called back again when he saw the pictures right after we hung up. I didn't take him back, so you lost your $10! LOL. It's been about a week now and I know what decision to make. I wouldn't be happy going back because nothing has changed...it'll be the same/worse instead of better. Who knows what will happen in the future...maybe this guy could be the one, maybe I'll meet someone better than these two, maybe I'll end up back with my ex. Wherever life takes me. I do keep in touch with my ex though. He's been calling me every day now but I'm going to set boundaries. The tables have turned...of course he says he hopes he gets his chance again and that me and the new guy don't last long. But I do want my ex to move on...if we were to ever try again I think a brand new slate would be needed. But even if we don't end up together, it's a win/win if there is no hurt and we are happy with our lives. Even though I'm not with him I do love him and I think I always will care...considering knowing him for 10 years since I was 12!

04-13-2011, 10:50 AM	#29 (permalink)
ChickenMuffin Tilted	Well, to sum things up from my experience just recently. I played it quite hard in getting my ex back and she was my first. And.. My thoughts now and then have changed, for the better or worse, because it's not that easy to begin with living in a void, living and dying inside your head. Wanting what you want so much that you'd give up everything else to get it but the time still passes, the days go on... And as long as there's still a tomorrow, there's always a chance. "Go fourth and prosper."

04-14-2011, 03:23 AM	#30 (permalink)
chinese crested Insane Location: hampshire	Q. Has she told the new guy that she is considering dumping him yet? Maybe the ex threw out his tatty old slippers, and then decided they were more comfey than new ones. The person you were loved the person he was - and the person he was loved the person you were - perhaps thats where that love belongs - as a warm memory. If he has gone nutso after basic training, he is a liability to those serving with him, he needs to talk to his health care people. Cant help but think of the amount of times I have read the excuse of 'he had been in a war zone' to justify attrocities like shooting the missus or beating the dog or whatever. She probably will take him back - and wont it be funny when, after she dumps the new guy, a couple of months go past and she feels obliged to write him on facebook saying she has made a mistake etc and wants to give it or him another go. ---------- Post added at 03:23 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:16 AM ---------- the $10 bet has yet to be won or lost - its been a week, and they are talking every day, and in the ladys own words, she may end up with him. The $10 bet is therefore still on the table me thinks. Love yourself first - and he should do the same - love himself first. Some people need the crutch of A Person because they fear being alone. Some forget there is a transition period when they need to adjust to being with themselves.

04-14-2011, 03:47 AM	#31 (permalink)
genuinegirly Eat your vegetables Super Moderator Location: Arabidopsis-ville	6 years ago my (now) husband told me that he didn't love me and I needed to find someone who could. It hurt. It took time for his heart to catch up to mine. It was only after he saw me unhappy with someone else that he realized what he wanted: for me to be happy, and for me to spend more time with him. He didn't ask for me back, he simply asked to remain my friend. We were married three years later. A lot can happen in a life that follows a natural course. Trust your heart. Watch life unfold before you. __________________ "Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq "violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy Last edited by genuinegirly; 04-14-2011 at 03:49 AM..

04-15-2011, 08:46 AM	#32 (permalink)
chelle21689 Tilted	Wow my ex is not crazy and I DID NOT TAKE HIM BACK! READ ABOVE!! I know my decision. It's been 2 weeks since he wanted me back now. We both talked last night and agreed we did have feelings for eachother but we're on different paths and not waiting/sticking with eachother. Thanks genuinegirly. I agree...trust the heart and watch life unfold. Life is full of surprises...definitely Last edited by chelle21689; 04-15-2011 at 08:49 AM..