Post Marathon Depression - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

essendoubleop · 12-02-2009, 10:11 AM

I just completed my 2nd marathon this past weekend. I have been in serious training for about half a year in preparation for a series of 3 marathons, culminating in February, and assumed my second marathon would be the best as it would take place during my prime.

However, I completely bombed it.

More importantly than any time goal, I wanted to just make it all the way without walking. Other runners have given me conflicting advice as to walking hills, but I decided to only walk the hills near the end. Even with supposedly fresher legs for the end, I pretty much gave up. I was in such a bad place mentally, it really shocked me.

Granted, I had a list of things go wrong that were unfortunate and really a series of small set-backs. My shoes pretty much busted, I forgot my running socks and had to use thick wool socks that squeezed my feet, my sleep was constantly interrupted the night before, I was stressing out the day before because of travel plans, I had major gashes on the back of my ankle, 2 trainers commented on my knees being excessively tight and stretched me out overtime, etc. I think I could have overcome 1 or 2 of them, but all of them added up really did me in.

But even with all these excuses, it doesn't really make me feel any better. I had been working really hard for a long time towards one event I did drastically worse than I had predicted. Runners often mention a depression they get following a marathon, mainly stemming from having their major goal they had been working towards end. Coupling that with my poor performance, it feels really awful. I badly want a do-over, but it's hard to climb that mountain again after getting knocked off when you were so close. I still got a medal and a shirt, but I have nearly thrown them away every morning since then because they're basically mementos of fail.

So, uh... not sure where to go with this... Any similar experiences with marathons or coming up short? Words of encouragement? Mockery?

ratbastid · 12-02-2009, 10:34 AM

Dunno, dude. My first half-marathon is weekend after next. I'm pretty pumped for it.

I'll say this: to work toward something the way you have to work toward a marathon, and then have it fall short of your expectations... Seems like at the very least some disappointment is to be expected. Whether or not the shortcoming was in your hands.

Also, from the reading I've done, it seems that second events are hard for people. The first one is a total triumph because you never thought you could do it and just finishing is a victory, and then you start to set up all sorts of goals and expectations for the next one, and you forget to just run your own race. My buddy who got me started running just totally fell apart at his second half a couple months ago--he was over 3 hours for the half. Brutal. He's had to pretty much completely rebuild himself to prepare for next week's race (he's doing the full).

wooÐs · 12-02-2009, 10:38 AM

13 years ago, I went to school for 2 years for my Cosmetology degree. This wasn't a regular beauty school - in addition to the typical perming and cutting courses, I also had to go for some sociology, math and English courses, etc. I flew through school - np. Also worked in a salon doing hair while in school, to save up money for my state board exam. The big day came. I ended up cutting my mannequin way too short, which was the first part of the exam. From that point on, my fingerwaves were fucked because the hair was too short, I couldn't roll a perm for the life of me because the length of the hair was too short - I just fucking gave up because I was so pissed. Needless to say, I failed. I had the opportunity to go back and re-take the exam but I never did. I continued to do hair at the salon for another year until I just quit. I couldn't stand being social all the time, was my excuse. Like I said, this was 13 years ago. And I trained for 2 years - not 6 months. This was supposed to be my career.

I hate myself today for not following through. I could be so far along if I just fucking stuck with it. But I gave up. Don't let your situation haunt you like mine haunts me. It's painful and draining.

There will always be more marathons. And in my case, I can always go back to school. I'm in a position where I'm considering a career change. But I'm trying to choose between 3-4 things. Need to make up my mind before I get much older. Regardless, it's ok to fuck up. It's not the end of your life... or career. Sure, be down for a little while. But I think you'll pick back up eventually.

dlish · 12-02-2009, 05:45 PM

dude, ive been training for my 1st marathon that's in mid january for a few months now, and i sit here as i type this with an aircast splint over my left ankle wondering if im actually going to have a chance to have enough time to train for it. i worked my distance up to 26km almost a month ago now, and ive missed opportunities to do things with friends that people do once in a lifetime. so you could say that ive got pre-marathon depression right now. im also booked in for the half marathon in february, so i 'should' be able to run in that.. i hope.

my point? be happy that you are healthy and came out ok. there will be other times to do the marathon. use the motivation to your advantage. you may be upset at not achieving your goals, but let that spur you onto bigger and better things

a word of advice as an avid runner myself, prepare your gear the day before. you need to meticulously plan every part of your run, and that includes what clothing you are going to run in including your socks. always have contingency plans incase something doesnt work out. most of the things could have been averted with some planning, but use that knowledge to encourage yourself for the next one which isnt that long way away really.

as far as walking in involved, there is no shame in walking the marathon. it is very rare to find someone that runs the entire marathon because i is so damn hard to do! switching between running and walking will use different muscles and help you get over the line.

remember, endurance events are 90% mental and 10% training. be sure that you're in a good place prior.

good luck..at least i know there's 3 of us here on TFP training for the marathon now. it will keep us all motvated.

highthief · 12-02-2009, 05:58 PM

I crapped out of my last half-marathon. My knee just wouldn't go on after about 16K. Yeah, I was bummed out about it but it's the sort of thing that does happen to runners and you gotta roll with those punches.

I do concur with dlish in that you really need to get your race kit and bag all sorted out the day before and be checking your shoes weeks in advance. Those errors are within your control and are easily eliminated.

Zeraph · 12-03-2009, 08:15 PM

A marathon is a huuge awesome goal. Don't give up! Just the fact that you went out there and trained as much as you did is a huge accomplishment. FFS the most I've ever been able to run is 5 miles and I'm a fairly athletic person.

The_Jazz · 12-04-2009, 06:10 AM

I think that I know EXACTLY how you feel, essendoubleop. I've been depressed after big races, particularly longer ones. I've had it after races I WON for god's sake.

I was very fortunate to have a good trainer (a complete waste of a human being outside the training room, but that's an unrelated matter) in college. She was pretty accomplished at not only healing physical injuries but some of the mental ones as well. After I blew up my ankle at Nationals on year, I spent basically 4 hours a day in the training room for weeks. The first week I was pretty depressed - it seemed like life had shit in my cereal. Towards the end of that week, she stopped by while I was in the ice bath and told me that the next day she was going to put a temporary swimming cast on my ankle and that I was going to do a hard pool workout. When people taper for a race (do big volumes/high stress loads then cut down in the week or so before the race), all sort of hormones and other chemicals are running around with not much to do. Typically, there's a layoff period after the race - there always was for me anyway. She got me basically cross-training in a way that wouldn't injure me any more than I already was (and trust me, my ankle was in BAAAAAD shape) and pulled me out of my depression.

Maybe that's advice you can use, maybe not. It worked for me well enough that ever since I've always made sure that did something after a big race. My lone experience with the marathon was the only exception, and I've never really gone back to running (although I think that there are other reasons for that beyond the above).

Good luck, dude.

ratbastid · 12-04-2009, 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Jazz

When people taper for a race (do big volumes/high stress loads then cut down in the week or so before the race), all sort of hormones and other chemicals are running around with not much to do.

That's going to be interesting. 10 miles on Sunday, then I taper for next weekend's half. I can already sort of feel the taper. Just 4 miles on Tuesday? 3 on Wednesday? 2 on Thursday?? Are you KIDDING me? What will I do with myself??

The_Jazz · 12-04-2009, 01:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ratbastid

That's going to be interesting. 10 miles on Sunday, then I taper for next weekend's half. I can already sort of feel the taper. Just 4 miles on Tuesday? 3 on Wednesday? 2 on Thursday?? Are you KIDDING me? What will I do with myself??

You've got 2 wives. You'll figure it out.

Seriously. That's what you'll most likely end up doing.

dlish · 12-04-2009, 02:02 PM

ok ive pulled out my trusty book by Jeff Galloway, Marathon, You can do it!

i'll quote verbatim from his chapter 15 - Recovery and Beyond, since i think this befits your situation

Quote:

Even if you've run twice as far as youve ever raced before in your life, you can be back to your normal running routine very quickly by following a few simple steps, before and after the race. by mentally and physically preparing for the morning after, you can reduce the negatives, while emotionally riding the waves of postive momentum from even the toughest of races.

The Post Race Letdown
Even with the best preperation, however, there will be a natural motivation lull. when they have spent months working toward a specific event and have reached the finish line of a significant physical test, even the most focused athletes experience a psychological let down. the challenge has motivated you to be regular with your exercise, to keep pushing your endurance limits, and to reach down deep for motivation and the strength to go on. Like any significant accomplishment, the day of achievement marks and emotional peak and is invariably followed by a downturn. as soon as you grasp the reality of the accomplishment "dolldrums" will occur, you can prepare for them and desensitize yourself.

Talk yourself through this, "its natural, after six months preparation for the big day, to miss the focus, the commitment, and the reinforcement of others who supported me in my mission." but you could also tell yourself with honesty that in a few days you can be shrugging of the blues as you strike out in a new direction.

Another Mission
so, lets get another mission started, now!
write the date of your next project on a calender or ina journal. its best to shift gears and select a different type of mission, a scenic trail run, a weekend trip to a big festival event, a group run with friends who havent seen in a while. if you've trained in a group, schedule an easy group run 3-4 weeks after the race and you will look forward to the reunion.

Its ok to shift missions in midstream but be sure to have a specific event alwats written on the calendar. if you wait till after your first "mission day" to choose another goal, your letdown will be more severe.

hope that helps in any way. but keep looking forward to the next one and make sure you use your support crew whoever they may be.

good luck!

ratbastid · 12-04-2009, 03:19 PM

Huh. Well then I'm going to build my training plan for the March 20th half right now. I figure I'll keep it around 15 miles a week until mid February and then start building back up into the 20s.

highthief · 12-06-2009, 04:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ratbastid

That's going to be interesting. 10 miles on Sunday, then I taper for next weekend's half. I can already sort of feel the taper. Just 4 miles on Tuesday? 3 on Wednesday? 2 on Thursday?? Are you KIDDING me? What will I do with myself??

The trick is to keep intensity levels high during your taper. Yes, knock down the miles but run hard to keep your focus and allow your body to recover from big miles while keeping tuned up.

ratbastid · 12-06-2009, 07:24 AM

Good to know.

12-02-2009, 10:11 AM	#1 (permalink)
essendoubleop Psycho	Post Marathon Depression I just completed my 2nd marathon this past weekend. I have been in serious training for about half a year in preparation for a series of 3 marathons, culminating in February, and assumed my second marathon would be the best as it would take place during my prime. However, I completely bombed it. More importantly than any time goal, I wanted to just make it all the way without walking. Other runners have given me conflicting advice as to walking hills, but I decided to only walk the hills near the end. Even with supposedly fresher legs for the end, I pretty much gave up. I was in such a bad place mentally, it really shocked me. Granted, I had a list of things go wrong that were unfortunate and really a series of small set-backs. My shoes pretty much busted, I forgot my running socks and had to use thick wool socks that squeezed my feet, my sleep was constantly interrupted the night before, I was stressing out the day before because of travel plans, I had major gashes on the back of my ankle, 2 trainers commented on my knees being excessively tight and stretched me out overtime, etc. I think I could have overcome 1 or 2 of them, but all of them added up really did me in. But even with all these excuses, it doesn't really make me feel any better. I had been working really hard for a long time towards one event I did drastically worse than I had predicted. Runners often mention a depression they get following a marathon, mainly stemming from having their major goal they had been working towards end. Coupling that with my poor performance, it feels really awful. I badly want a do-over, but it's hard to climb that mountain again after getting knocked off when you were so close. I still got a medal and a shirt, but I have nearly thrown them away every morning since then because they're basically mementos of fail. So, uh... not sure where to go with this... Any similar experiences with marathons or coming up short? Words of encouragement? Mockery?

12-02-2009, 05:45 PM	#4 (permalink)
dlish Currently sour but formerly Dlishs Super Moderator Location: Australia/UAE	dude, ive been training for my 1st marathon that's in mid january for a few months now, and i sit here as i type this with an aircast splint over my left ankle wondering if im actually going to have a chance to have enough time to train for it. i worked my distance up to 26km almost a month ago now, and ive missed opportunities to do things with friends that people do once in a lifetime. so you could say that ive got pre-marathon depression right now. im also booked in for the half marathon in february, so i 'should' be able to run in that.. i hope. my point? be happy that you are healthy and came out ok. there will be other times to do the marathon. use the motivation to your advantage. you may be upset at not achieving your goals, but let that spur you onto bigger and better things a word of advice as an avid runner myself, prepare your gear the day before. you need to meticulously plan every part of your run, and that includes what clothing you are going to run in including your socks. always have contingency plans incase something doesnt work out. most of the things could have been averted with some planning, but use that knowledge to encourage yourself for the next one which isnt that long way away really. as far as walking in involved, there is no shame in walking the marathon. it is very rare to find someone that runs the entire marathon because i is so damn hard to do! switching between running and walking will use different muscles and help you get over the line. remember, endurance events are 90% mental and 10% training. be sure that you're in a good place prior. good luck..at least i know there's 3 of us here on TFP training for the marathon now. it will keep us all motvated. __________________ An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay? - Filthy

12-02-2009, 05:58 PM	#5 (permalink)
highthief Junkie Location: Ontario, Canada	I crapped out of my last half-marathon. My knee just wouldn't go on after about 16K. Yeah, I was bummed out about it but it's the sort of thing that does happen to runners and you gotta roll with those punches. I do concur with dlish in that you really need to get your race kit and bag all sorted out the day before and be checking your shoes weeks in advance. Those errors are within your control and are easily eliminated. __________________ Si vis pacem parabellum.

12-04-2009, 06:10 AM	#7 (permalink)
The_Jazz Asshole Administrator Location: Chicago	I think that I know EXACTLY how you feel, essendoubleop. I've been depressed after big races, particularly longer ones. I've had it after races I WON for god's sake. I was very fortunate to have a good trainer (a complete waste of a human being outside the training room, but that's an unrelated matter) in college. She was pretty accomplished at not only healing physical injuries but some of the mental ones as well. After I blew up my ankle at Nationals on year, I spent basically 4 hours a day in the training room for weeks. The first week I was pretty depressed - it seemed like life had shit in my cereal. Towards the end of that week, she stopped by while I was in the ice bath and told me that the next day she was going to put a temporary swimming cast on my ankle and that I was going to do a hard pool workout. When people taper for a race (do big volumes/high stress loads then cut down in the week or so before the race), all sort of hormones and other chemicals are running around with not much to do. Typically, there's a layoff period after the race - there always was for me anyway. She got me basically cross-training in a way that wouldn't injure me any more than I already was (and trust me, my ankle was in BAAAAAD shape) and pulled me out of my depression. Maybe that's advice you can use, maybe not. It worked for me well enough that ever since I've always made sure that did something after a big race. My lone experience with the marathon was the only exception, and I've never really gone back to running (although I think that there are other reasons for that beyond the above). Good luck, dude. __________________ "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin "There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush "We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

12-02-2009, 10:34 AM	#2 (permalink)
ratbastid Darth Papa Location: Yonder	Dunno, dude. My first half-marathon is weekend after next. I'm pretty pumped for it. I'll say this: to work toward something the way you have to work toward a marathon, and then have it fall short of your expectations... Seems like at the very least some disappointment is to be expected. Whether or not the shortcoming was in your hands. Also, from the reading I've done, it seems that second events are hard for people. The first one is a total triumph because you never thought you could do it and just finishing is a victory, and then you start to set up all sorts of goals and expectations for the next one, and you forget to just run your own race. My buddy who got me started running just totally fell apart at his second half a couple months ago--he was over 3 hours for the half. Brutal. He's had to pretty much completely rebuild himself to prepare for next week's race (he's doing the full).

12-02-2009, 10:38 AM	#3 (permalink)
wooÐs Sitting in a tree Location: Atlanta	13 years ago, I went to school for 2 years for my Cosmetology degree. This wasn't a regular beauty school - in addition to the typical perming and cutting courses, I also had to go for some sociology, math and English courses, etc. I flew through school - np. Also worked in a salon doing hair while in school, to save up money for my state board exam. The big day came. I ended up cutting my mannequin way too short, which was the first part of the exam. From that point on, my fingerwaves were fucked because the hair was too short, I couldn't roll a perm for the life of me because the length of the hair was too short - I just fucking gave up because I was so pissed. Needless to say, I failed. I had the opportunity to go back and re-take the exam but I never did. I continued to do hair at the salon for another year until I just quit. I couldn't stand being social all the time, was my excuse. Like I said, this was 13 years ago. And I trained for 2 years - not 6 months. This was supposed to be my career. I hate myself today for not following through. I could be so far along if I just fucking stuck with it. But I gave up. Don't let your situation haunt you like mine haunts me. It's painful and draining. There will always be more marathons. And in my case, I can always go back to school. I'm in a position where I'm considering a career change. But I'm trying to choose between 3-4 things. Need to make up my mind before I get much older. Regardless, it's ok to fuck up. It's not the end of your life... or career. Sure, be down for a little while. But I think you'll pick back up eventually.

12-03-2009, 08:15 PM	#6 (permalink)
Zeraph Banned Location: The Cosmos	A marathon is a huuge awesome goal. Don't give up! Just the fact that you went out there and trained as much as you did is a huge accomplishment. FFS the most I've ever been able to run is 5 miles and I'm a fairly athletic person.

12-04-2009, 03:19 PM	#11 (permalink)
ratbastid Darth Papa Location: Yonder	Huh. Well then I'm going to build my training plan for the March 20th half right now. I figure I'll keep it around 15 miles a week until mid February and then start building back up into the 20s.

12-06-2009, 07:24 AM	#13 (permalink)
ratbastid Darth Papa Location: Yonder	Good to know.