genuinegirly

London is doing Valentine's Day right. Let's bring this to the TFP!
(minus the torn up pictures, that is)

Anyone recently scorned that would like to vent?
How about someone who hurt you years ago, that you'd like to send some negative energy on this supposedly cheery holiday?
Have at it, friends!

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My response:

S, may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.
D, may you miss your metro by seconds.
F, I hope you step in especially sticky dog-doo with your best shoes.

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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

Bear Cub

Please don't let this information reach the northeastern United States or I'm fucked.

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Living in the United Socialist States of America.

Plan9

Do they have a group hex discount rate?

Heh... group hex. Sounds kinky.

...

Here's mine:

1, I hope you're stuck with a raspy trucker voice when you're old.
2, may your waistline expand as my gray hair count rises.
3, I hop... (she's a robot, you can't really curse robots)
4, you're already cursed. High school diploma and kids.
5, here's to you getting cancer. Again.
6, a beer can? Seriously? A beer can?!
7, gimmie the cat, gimmie the cat, gimmie the cat.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

ngdawg

Maybe I'm in the minority (surprise!), but I have never wished bad things on any ex. Spouse, yea, but never an ex.
They're all learning experiences, some bad, some silly, some sweet.

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Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

Plan9

Really, I don't wish anything bad either (except for the exwife) but I think this thread is supposed to include dry humor.

Which is good because I'm like a CostCo of it these days.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Tully Mars

Well I'm with you. Never gained anything but bad feelings for wishing ill on anyone. Kind of think it's an illness all to itself. I've seen people become consumed in hoping bad things happen to people they feel screwed them over. Karma can be a cruel bitch.

And yes, learning experiences- life's full of them.

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I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo

Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club

Plan9

"What doesn't kill me, puts me in a wheelchair!"

C'mon, Tully... you never had a bad break with someone? I can imagine there is relationship failure humor to be found in every person here at TFP.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

snowy

I won't hex my ex, but I will work on letting go of some of the negative energy I still carry around with me from that experience, and from other experiences. It's gotten a lot better lately.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

777

I'm good at break ups, so I dought I'll be hexed, but I wouldn't mind hexing non-exs >:-)

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"I don't know that I ever wanted greatness, on its own. It seems rather like wanting to be an engineer, rather than wanting to design something - or wanting to be a writer, rather than wanting to write. It should be a by-product, not a thing in itself. Otherwise, it's just an ego trip."

Roger Zelazny

PonyPotato

I'm only going to hex a few of them, and only because I'm feeling playful:

1. May the piercings in your junk get stuck to a large magnet.
2. May your shoulder be dislocated for the 16th time.
3. May your archaeological field research be plagued with chiggers, spiders, leeches, clay, hot and humid weather, and plenty of poison ivy.
4. Use all of the money you have to go buy your own kitten. She loves me and she's not going anywhere.

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"Without passion man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark."
— Henri-Frédéric Amiel

Xerxys

I actually want this.

Been in only 1 serious relationship, broke off outta necessity ..sighs.. so no ill feelings nor thoughts against her. I am however, with 777 on his terms, how about we hex the non-exes to become current .... I can't think of anything worse ....

lostgirl

I hold no ill will toward any of them. They have also done a pretty good job of hexing themselves.

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We're about to go through the crucible, but we'll come out the other side.
We always arise from our own ashes. Everything returns later in its changed form. - Children of Dune

dippin

I never wanted anything bad to happen to my exes. But I wanted to do very bad and naughty things to one of my exes (the one I broke up with on her birthday) when I met her 1 year later and she was looking oh, so much more beautiful than when she was with me. But I guess that from her perspective that would be a hex.

genuinegirly

Exactly what I was hoping for! Thanks for making me laugh.

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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

Sue

Even though it is all in good fun, my ex already has a shitty life as it is, so I'd have no wishes to have any kind of hex put on him.

(I'm too nice, what can I say)

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Teg yw edrych tuag adref.

Halx

May conspirators plot against you at the mall!

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You have found this post informative.
-The Administrator
[Don't Feed The Animals]

Strange Famous

My sexist outlook on life wouldnt allow me to ever hate a woman probably.

If I cared in any way I would channel that into despising the guy she was with now.

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"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

girldetective

I wish ill upon people all the time. I feel quite terrible and contrite about it. However, I also actively wish the best for people, too. Sometimes in the same sentence.

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As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons...be cheerful; strive for happiness - Desiderata

Iliftrocks

Don't wish my ex any kind of harm, but she's a Wiccan, so I wonder what spells she's conjuring for me..........

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bill hicks - "I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out."

genuinegirly

oh my, you do have something to worry about there, Iliftrocks.

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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

Iliftrocks

Don't know how much trouble. She tried some love spells on me, apparently, during the final years of our marriage. Didn't seem to help.

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bill hicks - "I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out."

Plan9

Were said love spells materialized as sexual offerings or prepared meals?

...

Yeaaah, I need to go find me some of that magic.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."