Hex Your Ex
 

London is doing Valentine's Day right. Let's bring this to the TFP!
(minus the torn up pictures, that is)

Anyone recently scorned that would like to vent?
How about someone who hurt you years ago, that you'd like to send some negative energy on this supposedly cheery holiday?
Have at it, friends!

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My response:

S, may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.
D, may you miss your metro by seconds.
F, I hope you step in especially sticky dog-doo with your best shoes.

Please don't let this information reach the northeastern United States or I'm fucked.

Do they have a group hex discount rate?

Heh... group hex. Sounds kinky.

...

Here's mine:

1, I hope you're stuck with a raspy trucker voice when you're old.
2, may your waistline expand as my gray hair count rises.
3, I hop... (she's a robot, you can't really curse robots)
4, you're already cursed. High school diploma and kids.
5, here's to you getting cancer. Again.
6, a beer can? Seriously? A beer can?!
7, gimmie the cat, gimmie the cat, gimmie the cat.

Maybe I'm in the minority (surprise!), but I have never wished bad things on any ex. Spouse, yea, but never an ex. :lol:
They're all learning experiences, some bad, some silly, some sweet.

Really, I don't wish anything bad either (except for the exwife) but I think this thread is supposed to include dry humor.

Which is good because I'm like a CostCo of it these days.

Well I'm with you. Never gained anything but bad feelings for wishing ill on anyone. Kind of think it's an illness all to itself. I've seen people become consumed in hoping bad things happen to people they feel screwed them over. Karma can be a cruel bitch.

And yes, learning experiences- life's full of them.

"What doesn't kill me, puts me in a wheelchair!"

C'mon, Tully... you never had a bad break with someone? I can imagine there is relationship failure humor to be found in every person here at TFP.

I won't hex my ex, but I will work on letting go of some of the negative energy I still carry around with me from that experience, and from other experiences. It's gotten a lot better lately.

I'm good at break ups, so I dought I'll be hexed, but I wouldn't mind hexing non-exs >:-)

I'm only going to hex a few of them, and only because I'm feeling playful:

1. May the piercings in your junk get stuck to a large magnet.
2. May your shoulder be dislocated for the 16th time.
3. May your archaeological field research be plagued with chiggers, spiders, leeches, clay, hot and humid weather, and plenty of poison ivy.
4. Use all of the money you have to go buy your own kitten. She loves me and she's not going anywhere.

I actually want this.

Been in only 1 serious relationship, broke off outta necessity ..sighs.. so no ill feelings nor thoughts against her. I am however, with 777 on his terms, how about we hex the non-exes to become current .... I can't think of anything worse ....

I hold no ill will toward any of them. They have also done a pretty good job of hexing themselves.

I never wanted anything bad to happen to my exes. But I wanted to do very bad and naughty things to one of my exes (the one I broke up with on her birthday) when I met her 1 year later and she was looking oh, so much more beautiful than when she was with me. But I guess that from her perspective that would be a hex.

Exactly what I was hoping for! Thanks for making me laugh.

Even though it is all in good fun, my ex already has a shitty life as it is, so I'd have no wishes to have any kind of hex put on him.

(I'm too nice, what can I say)

May conspirators plot against you at the mall!

My sexist outlook on life wouldnt allow me to ever hate a woman probably.

If I cared in any way I would channel that into despising the guy she was with now.

I wish ill upon people all the time. I feel quite terrible and contrite about it. However, I also actively wish the best for people, too. Sometimes in the same sentence.

Don't wish my ex any kind of harm, but she's a Wiccan, so I wonder what spells she's conjuring for me..........

oh my, you do have something to worry about there, Iliftrocks.

Don't know how much trouble. She tried some love spells on me, apparently, during the final years of our marriage. Didn't seem to help.

Were said love spells materialized as sexual offerings or prepared meals?

...

Yeaaah, I need to go find me some of that magic.