diddagirl

Soo... kinda looking for some advice, similar experiences...or maybe just looking to spill my guts in hopes of some relief. Sorry in advance for the length of this post

Background info: I am a 25 year old healthy female, working part time, full time University student (I strive for straight A's only), recently moved in with my boyfriend (from a Long distance thing...so some major changes in my life have recently occured)

I have been suffering from anxiety for the past 4-5 months or so that has just continued to increase in severity.
What started out as seemingly simple "worries" about silly or perfectly reasonably things has turned into an obsession with worrying and panicking about almost anything and everything in my world. It kinda started with some bad acid reflux- my medicine was no longer helping- which resulted in me being in a great deal of physical discomfort. My mind then started to wonder and think of a million worst case scenarios of what could be wrong with me (ie stomach cancer, esophogeal cancer etc..)
With all that worry came more physical symptoms ie) difficulty breathing, chest pressure, troubles swallowing, heart palpatations. I was convinced that this all had to do with my acid reflux and that there was some hidden disease that the tests and the doctors couldnt find.

I began to hate and dread waking up and going out. I feel the best first thing int he morning...and increasingly get worse as the day goes on. Being in class makes me so edgy...shaky..panicky and basically counting the minutes until I can leave and be home. I no longer want to do much of anything with my friends in fear of symptoms and how "sick" I might get while I am out.

One major event in this whole mix was a particular day when I was at school (in the beginning of my issues, so about 4 months ago...)- out of the blue in the middle of class I began having difficulty breathing, blurred vision, heart racing and my hands and body trembling beyond control. I literally thought I was about to die. I stumbled out of class and went to emergency. They ran many tests but all they came up with was on one (of my two) ECG's came back with a "short" heart beat.

Anxiety runs in my family, so I was somewhat open to the possibility that I could be dealing with an anxiety issue. I made an appointment with a therapist, and when I explained all my symptoms she confidently told me I had anxiety, and that I had indeed had a panic/anxiety attack that day at school. She wants to continue seeing me but based on my symptoms and the impact its having on the impact its having on my life she wanted me to see my family doctor and look at going on anti-depressants to treat the chemical imbalance that is causing my anxiety.

Well, today I went to my doctor and explained everything to them (plus what the therapist said) ans they agreed that an anti-depressant was in order. He put me on what is apparently a very good one with low side effects and works quite quickly. Something called "Citalopram".... I will start taking it tomorrow. Interestingly enough, I am having mild anxiety about even taking the pill. What if I have an allergic reaction to it? What if it makes my heart race? What if it temporarily makes my anxiety worse? I know... I must sound absurd...but its honestly what I think right now and its so beyond my power to control.

Any one have any experience in treating anxiety- whether with anti-depressants, therapy or whatever may have worked? Anyone that can relate to anything I am going through would sure help alot too I have always been such a happy, normal girl and I am beginning to lose my mind. Its the scariest and worst feeling in the world, and I feel like I have failed myself.

__________________
"Is it so small a thing to have enjoyed the sun, to have lived long in the spring, to have loved, to have thought, to have done."
-Matthew Arnold

ColonelSpecial

I have dealt with anxiety like you have described though I didn't take medication for it so my advice is simply from a therapeutic standpoint.

I would suggest continuing going to go to the therapist for a couple of things:
1. He/She can help give you mental or physical resources to help lessen or get out of a panic attack. New situations is what sets me off into a panic so I had to learn things to do so I don't panic. I learned these through a therapist.
2. It sounds like you have many changes happening in your life that can cause stress which never helps anxiety. Talking through these things can help remove them as a source of stress.
3. He/She can also help track your reaction to your medication. Obviously if you do have a reaction or your anxiety really ramps up, see your family doctor but for day to day stresses over it the therapist can help.

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SabrinaFair

I suffered from anxiety for a number of years. My anxiety manifested itself in physical symptoms, too, so it really got in the way of my life. Every time I had a final, or some major event, I'd throw up. It took a lot of tests and a lot of doctors to figure this out. I was on Zoloft for the better part of a year. It helped a lot at the time. Since I made the decision to come off of it, I've never had any major anxiety episodes. I don't know if I learned to deal with my anxiety, or if it's something I just outgrew.

I liked the Zoloft a lot--I didn't feel drugged, I just felt "even", if that makes sense. I HATED coming off of it, though. I should have done that under doctor supervision.

I wish you the best of luck, my dear.

Love,
Saby

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Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."
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Glory's Sun

I hate anti-depressants with a passion. Doctors hand that shit out like candy when it's not needed. The world is full of stupid people and bad things. There's never going to be a bunch of rainbows and butterflies.

If you're dealing with anxiety, then see if he can prescribe you an anti-anxiety pill such as xanax or lorazepam something like that.. it can be taken on an as needed basis. Often times anxiety and depression are not linked, yet the doc will prescribe an anti-depressant. Hell even people who are depressed sometimes online need a mood enhancing pill, not an anti-depressant.

Do some research and ask your doctor tons of questions.. don't just let him write you a script..

powerclown

That's because they have multiple incentives to do so. Shrinks work closely with pharmacuetical companies, there are monthly quotas on drug sales like there are on cars. Shrinks get all sorts of perks for meeting quotas, such as paid vacations, use of high-end corporate vehicles, free dinners at expensive restaurants with drug reps, business referrals. Shrinks who purposely string someone out for life on powerful, addictive medication call them annuities (a guaranteed income source), which contributes to their kids college funds, the 8,000 sq ft house, the jaguars and mercedes, the country club memberships.

diddagirl

Thanks for your replys everyone. It is REALLY comforting to know that you guys have been there before ColonalSpecial and SabrinaFair, and comforting to know that you made it through and are better today. |I am definetely going to continue with the therapy as I am a firm believer in the benefits of therapy.

PC and gucc-thanks for your thoughts- just to clarify I went into my doctor and ASKED for an anti-depressant. He didnt simply hand it over to me. He asked many questions about my symptoms,reviewed all my tests, discussed my therapist and my need to continue therapy, reviewed my family history of anxiety and then finally dicussed the possibility of anti-depressants that I was requesting which he also felt were in need.

I have no desire to go on a highly addictive anxiety pill such as adavant, or xanax which from my understanding are more for treating those actual full blown panic attack moments. I am looking for something to stabalize me, that is a little more long term. I dont want to or plan on being on anti-depressants for the rest of my life... its just whats going on in my head and my body right now is WELL beyond anything that I can control. Basically...I am freakin losing it- and it sucks .

__________________
"Is it so small a thing to have enjoyed the sun, to have lived long in the spring, to have loved, to have thought, to have done."
-Matthew Arnold

Cynosure

I have considerable experience with, and thus acquired knowledge of, anxiety attacks, having dealings with them over 10 years ago that were very similar to yours. I think you'll have much better short-term relief with a benzodiazepine, i.e. an anti-anxiety medication, than you will with an anti-depressant. However, that will serve only to get you over the initial hump and through the upcoming months, because anti-anxiety medications are addictive and their beneficial effects diminish with prolonged usage, while their adverse effects increase. And withdrawal from an anti-anxiety medication can be hard, especially if you relied on a high dosage for an extended period of time.

Benzodiazepine - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

For the long-term, I think you should earnestly seek some kind of spiritual guidance and/or higher power. (And if you do indeed turn out to be clinically depressed, then maybe you should look into getting on an anti-depressant as well.) The major influencing factor of anxiety attacks, I've found, is subconscious fear; in particular, fear of loss of control, fear of failure and/or suffering, and especially fear of dying. And, yes, this can be hereditary, and thus involving biological as well as pyschological factors.

snowy

Citalopram is generic Celexa. It's for both depression and anxiety, including social anxiety. I found it managed my anxiety symptoms wonderfully; I was on it for several years. I felt stronger on the medication.

A couple years ago I made up my mind to get off the medication. I know I will suffer from depression and anxiety for the rest of my life, but I didn't want to take a pill every day for the rest of my life just to deal with it. I figured out some things that work for me in order to control and manage it. It's always there, lurking around the corner, but I haven't had to go back to medication yet, which is nice.

I would recommend you try what I tried--go on the meds, see if they help you out, and if they do, stay on them a while. Use them as a stepping stone--while on the meds, pursue the therapeutic option, preferably with a therapist who specializes in cognitive-behavioral therapy. In addition, start exercising if you don't already. Add yoga into the mix as well. Yoga enhances the mind-body connection, and as such, it's much easier to catch on to what makes you feel anxious. Yoga will also give you some tools to handle anxiety. The recommendation of seeking out spiritual guidance is a good one.

As others have suggested here, if and when you do decide to quit using medication, do it with your doctor's supervision, if at all possible. You will have to step down gradually to get off of citalopram; otherwise you end up with horrible dizzy spells. It's really no fun.

You can control your anxiety; I wish you luck in acquiring the tools to help you do so.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Bear Cub

Ask your doctor about a drug called Lamictal. It is typically prescribed as an anti-seizure medication, or to control bipolar disorder, but they've found quite a few other uses for it.

What it did for me was allow my mind to stop racing without bogging me down at all. As soon as something remotely negative came into my mind, one thought would lead to another, and another, to where I literally couldn't concentrate on anything else every second of every day that I was awake. Lamictal just broke the chain reaction until I was able to get a grip on my life, and I had zero side effects when I stopped taking it.

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Janie

I agree with onesnowyowl. It sounds like your anxiety is short-term, not something you've had since the age of 10 or anything like that. Being on some medication will help stabilize you so that you can deal with whatever problems have caused this anxiety. One possibility is you may just be burnt out from getting straight As in school all the time. Can you take a semester off school to give yourself time to relax? Also, your acid reflux could be getting worse because of your anxiety, and vice-versa. Sort of an infinite loop. I know that when I am experiencing lots of anxiety and stress, my digestive tract gets really weird with diarrhea and cramping. Talking about your worries with someone you feel safe with will probably help, or alternatively writing them down in a journal. Verbalizing worries may help you see that there is much less to worry about than you originally thought.

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JumpinJesus

I haven't read everyone's replies so I might be repeating something you've already heard. Of course, this means if you've already heard it and you're hearing it again, then we are obviously correct. Obviously.

I believe that anti-anxiety medicines not only simply mask the problem, but in some cases can make anxiety worse. I believe this because the medication doesn't treat the underlying reason for the anxiety, and since you no longer suffer from the symptoms of anxiety, you are less motivated to find why you suffered from it in the first place.

I'm neither a doctor, a psychiatrist, nor a therapist so everything I'm saying is based solely on my own experience with anxiety and medication. Take what I say with that in mind.

I believe we suffer from anxiety because we lose the ability (or never learned how) to deal with stressful situations. We feel out of control, out of our element, and don't know what to do. Anxiety is our body's natural reaction to a frightening or stressful situation (the fight or flight response). If you experience the symptoms of anxiety in a frightening situation, they are completely normal reactions and we don't think twice about experiencing them. When we experience them when we're supposed to be at ease, we don't know what we're experiencing and we panic because our body is telling us there's danger somewhere when we can't perceive any.

Panic attacks become self-fulfilling prophecies. The fear of having another one causes us to have another one. We begin associating things with these attacks (food, colors, clothing, songs, anything) because we don't know the cause of our symptoms and our mind wants desperately to make some association. Before you know it, songs are causing panic attacks, colors are causing them, noises are causing them. This seeming random cause of panic makes us believe we're losing our minds, thus reinforcing the stress and anxiety we're already experiencing, and causing the anxiety to increase in intensity.

Sadly, the medical profession doesn't seem to have the patience or the willingness to teach patients how to deal with anxiety so the easiest and most convenient method for dealing with anxiety is to medicate it. The pharmaceutical companies love this approach because they make absolutely no money off you seeing a therapist who works with you over a period of time. Of course, patients aren't entirely innocent. They wanted an immediate fix to their symptoms and were equally unwilling to take the time needed to deal with the underlying issues. Of course, once they go off medication, the problems come right back because anxiety is psychological, not physiological.

When I went off my anxiety medication (which I was assured was entirely non habit-forming and completely safe) I began having desires to be incredibly violent. I've never been a violent person in my life and I was ready to hurt people. I went through some withdrawal symptoms that I can only describe as bizarre. While on the medication, I was an emotional zombie. I didn't give a damn about anyone or anything and it nearly cost me my marriage.

Unfortunately, and a difficult truth to realize, is that anxiety is not genetic, but it is passed on from parent to child because the parent's inability to handle stress is passed on to their children, who in turn experience anxiety.

The good news about all this is that you can get through it. I haven't had a panic attack in years and when I do begin to feel anxiety coming on, I am able to recognize that it's unnecessary and let it go before it settles in.

I wish you good luck with this because it won't be easy, but it can be done. If you are able, I would seriously consider finding a doctor who doesn't want to just medicate the problem.

When I went to my doctor to complain of the zombie-like side effects I was having with the medication, his immediate response was to prescribe yet another medication to counter the effects of the medication I was already on. To me, that wasn't the answer. I began to wonder how many medications would he be willing to compound on me until I stopped complaining of side-effects, and what were those medications doing to my body?

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"I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses

thespian86

I have to disagree with you JJ but I understand where you are coming from.

Medicating is a difficult process but can be fruitful. I went through a couple that had me not so pleased (like Paxil - beware Paxil). I found Wellbutrin, which has done wonders for me, but my needs may be completely different. I'm an actor. Anxiety and depression aren't very helpful in that line of work.

Therapy is something, I believe, that every person should go through. The process is important. So yes, I think therapy would help.

I'd like to be more specific but I don't have it in me right now. I'll elaborate later perhaps.

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thingstodo

I personally wouldn't do anything without working with a therapist. Meds alone aren't the cure-all many people think.

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JumpinJesus

I see what you're saying. For me, when I was on the medication, I had absolutely no symptoms of anxiety at all, and for awhile I thought everything was fine because I was having no panic attacks or any feelings of anxiety. However, I didn't feel anything. I didn't get angry, happy, sad, anything. I was pretty much emotionless.

I was on the medication for a little over a year. When I went off the medication, I began experiencing episodes of rage. I also began feeling violent urges. Not only that, but I began having what I can only describe as brain zaps where it would feel as though a wave of energy would wash through my brain. It was an extremely uncomfortable feeling. I would then become mentally exhausted and would be unable to concentrate on anything. These symptoms lasted for about 6 months after I stopped the medication.

I was on the lowest dosage and weaned myself off the medication over the course of 2 months.

I take this as something to consider when considering medication. Had my doctor gone over these possibilities with me before prescribing me the medication, I never would have agreed to it. What angers me about this was that I expressed severe reservations about taking medication in the first place and I was assured by my doctor that everything would be fine.

So, the point of all this is that I agree that medication might be helpful for some, but I highly recommend researching the medication thoroughly before agreeing to take it. Of course, I'd not recommend it at all, but I'm not a doctor, so....

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"I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses

diddagirl

Thank you all very much for taking the time to reply... And to share your insights. JJ u hit the nail on the head with panic attacks and how we come to associate things with them. I was terrified to go back to the classroom where I had my first panin attack as I was sure it would happen again.

As for a little update- after starting Celexa I was sooo high and out of it for about 5 days or so. Not sure if that's normal, but it has since passed. I would have to say after about 2.5 weeks in the medication, u have noticed a mild decrease in my anxiety. Anti-depressants can take 4-6 weeks to work as I am told, so I am hoping my anxiety will be reduced even further. I have another therapy apointment on Tuesday, so I am looking forward to continuing that.
I know anti depressants are very controversial and everyone has their opinions. I personally don't for a minute think pills fix the problem... I was simply at a breaking point where I simply could not carry the stress an anxiety the way I was anymore... Cause I was literally above to have a nervous breakdown. I have tried yoga, massage, meditation, therapy and all sorts of stress and anxiety reducing things with no real relief.... So for now hopefully the medication will calm me enough to be able to function again like a normal person... While I continue with therapy to try and learn my triggers and how to deal with the problem.

Thanks again u guys... Your words are seriously a great comfort to me

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"Is it so small a thing to have enjoyed the sun, to have lived long in the spring, to have loved, to have thought, to have done."
-Matthew Arnold

Adonis1782

Panic attacks and anxiety are awful feelings. I deal with the same symptoms you mentioned on a daily basis. I'm a very outgoing and social person, always have been. I did not have a panic attack until I was eighteen. I'm 27 now. Anxiety has stuck with me ever since high school.

I'm sure your therapist has mentioned it but there are many prescriptive pills you can take to treat anxiety. My old psychiatrist called it a "crapshoot." You try the medication and see how well it works. There are some which will not work for you and some which will. Personally, I started taking paxil again. It has worked for me for years. I tried zoloft at one point with some affect but not enough. I was taking classes at the time and needed xanax to get me through class.

When your therapist says, "you should not drink any alcohol or consume any caffeine," trust those words. Alcohol is great when you are drinking because you do not feel anxious but the next day is worse. I can take one gulp of a caffeinated soda and be anxious for an hour or two.

My main thing with anxiety is nausea. I'll be around people, I get anxious, and my stomach tightens up. I always fear I will puke for no reason and be utterly embarased. I've had that feeling for the better part of a decade...and have never thrown up.

I actually just got back on paxil. I took my first dose last night. I've been off of it for a year and a half. I took it for years and it works for me, very well. Even though i know all this, I was anxious about taking it again.

Learn everything you can to keep the anxiety at bay. If something works, do it, it's usually a healthy thing anyway.

I'm sorry you are going through this. I know the ins and outs of anxiety from years of dealing with it. I imagine I will deal with it for the rest of my life as it runs in my family as well. Hopefully this is only a hurdle for you.

Thanks for the post. I needed to let all of that out.

Good Luck!

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-Bart Simpson

thespian86

Great post. The caffeine/alcohol thing is very, very true. I drink a coffee and I sweat for an hour, shake, have trouble breathing. Drink a few beer and the next couple of days I'm numb.

It all comes down to facing the facts. You may be mentally ill. It sucks. It's life though, so you have to deal with it accordingly. Mental Health isn't the Bigfoot of medicine that it used to be. So take care of yourself, seek treatment, and follow the plan set out for you by the doctor; if it doesn't work, which happens, try something else. Otherwise you'll live with the consequences.

So:

-Talk to your doctor about medications and their purposes. What might be beneficial or harmful if you take them.

-See a therapist. If anything, they are part of that world and can teach you some techniques that might help you out day to day with practice. Or you can take full advantage of the situation and vent about mom and find out that YOU were actually the bitch, not her (that was a cool day for me).

-Be open about it. Life is about being. People spend so much time pretending to be (what they think they need, what others might need, what the "world expects of you", etc) that they end up holding the cards that connect them to other human beings so close that no one can see them. Open equates clarity, and being clear about your mental illness is indescribably rewarding.

-Live.

ps. this was more of a rant and I'm sorry for being selfish. Because of that, the "you" is not didda or adonis, but rather the collective you.

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EX: Whats new?
ME: I officially love coffee more then you now.
EX: uh...
ME: So, not much.

hawkin

Anxiety and depression and so much common that everyone face these disorders in there life for one reason or the other. There are a lot of anti depressants which are available but the only way to get over these disorders is to get to the root of the cause. Keeping your self busy and changing your routine can even help one getting over these.

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JumpinJesus

.

This is just a great piece of advice whether someone is suffering from anxiety or not. It's hard to reach this point, to be open about life, but once you get there, you wonder why you spent your life trying to be something else.

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"I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses

thespian86

Yes, at 22 I'm incredibly lucky to have at least figured this out.

The reason: Therapy.

__________________
EX: Whats new?
ME: I officially love coffee more then you now.
EX: uh...
ME: So, not much.

diddagirl

Hey Adonis,
I am glad you let it all out! Crazy how good that feels eh? I totally agree about the caffeine... although I still drink small amounts, but anything more then a cup a day and I am outta control buzzing and anxious. Thanks for sharing your experiences... I cant even begin to explain how comforting it is to know that there are other young people like me, who are going through this hell.



punkmusicfan- Your post was totally something I needed to hear. I really appreciate your insightful words and couldnt agree more. Not a selfish post at all (but damn it feels good to let it all out, doesnt it?)

Its funny, I am sooo open and honest as of late with people about my anxiety, and its like as soon as I speak the words, a small weight is lifted off my shoulders. Almost like when I speak it, it makes it real and I am not hiding, or pretending and I know then that it is in my head and I am actually not dying of a million different things.

Thanks for your kind and thoughtful words.... you are wise beyond your years!

__________________
"Is it so small a thing to have enjoyed the sun, to have lived long in the spring, to have loved, to have thought, to have done."
-Matthew Arnold