Soo... kinda looking for some advice, similar experiences...or maybe just looking to spill my guts in hopes of some relief. Sorry in advance for the length of this post
Background info: I am a 25 year old healthy female, working part time, full time University student (I strive for straight A's only), recently moved in with my boyfriend (from a Long distance thing...so some major changes in my life have recently occured)
I have been suffering from anxiety for the past 4-5 months or so that has just continued to increase in severity.
What started out as seemingly simple "worries" about silly or perfectly reasonably things has turned into an obsession with worrying and panicking about almost anything and everything in my world. It kinda started with some bad acid reflux- my medicine was no longer helping- which resulted in me being in a great deal of physical discomfort. My mind then started to wonder and think of a million worst case scenarios of what could be wrong with me (ie stomach cancer, esophogeal cancer etc..)
With all that worry came more physical symptoms ie) difficulty breathing, chest pressure, troubles swallowing, heart palpatations. I was convinced that this all had to do with my acid reflux and that there was some hidden disease that the tests and the doctors couldnt find.
I began to hate and dread waking up and going out. I feel the best first thing int he morning...and increasingly get worse as the day goes on. Being in class makes me so edgy...shaky..panicky and basically counting the minutes until I can leave and be home. I no longer want to do much of anything with my friends in fear of symptoms and how "sick" I might get while I am out.
One major event in this whole mix was a particular day when I was at school (in the beginning of my issues, so about 4 months ago...)- out of the blue in the middle of class I began having difficulty breathing, blurred vision, heart racing and my hands and body trembling beyond control. I literally thought I was about to die. I stumbled out of class and went to emergency. They ran many tests but all they came up with was on one (of my two) ECG's came back with a "short" heart beat.
Anxiety runs in my family, so I was somewhat open to the possibility that I could be dealing with an anxiety issue. I made an appointment with a therapist, and when I explained all my symptoms she confidently told me I had anxiety, and that I had indeed had a panic/anxiety attack that day at school. She wants to continue seeing me but based on my symptoms and the impact its having on the impact its having on my life she wanted me to see my family doctor and look at going on anti-depressants to treat the chemical imbalance that is causing my anxiety.
Well, today I went to my doctor and explained everything to them (plus what the therapist said) ans they agreed that an anti-depressant was in order. He put me on what is apparently a very good one with low side effects and works quite quickly. Something called "Citalopram".... I will start taking it tomorrow. Interestingly enough, I am having mild anxiety about even taking the pill. What if I have an allergic reaction to it? What if it makes my heart race? What if it temporarily makes my anxiety worse? I know... I must sound absurd...but its honestly what I think right now and its so beyond my power to control.
Any one have any experience in treating anxiety- whether with anti-depressants, therapy or whatever may have worked? Anyone that can relate to anything I am going through would sure help alot too
I have always been such a happy, normal girl and I am beginning to lose my mind. Its the scariest and worst feeling in the world, and I feel like I have failed myself.