Zeraph

How do you cope? Sometimes I just feel so angry, at everyone. Such a deep anger from my core. Standard anger management techniques only subdue it temporarily. So far music is the best medicine. Anyone have any other ideas? Or anyone else feel this way sometimes?

Radio Monk33

I feel obliged to ask, is it a dangerous anger?

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high_jinx

most importantly, don't sell yourself short on your own willpower and self control. as a society we are WAY too coddled with metaphoric blankets to cushion our egos from owning up to our own feelings and actions. if you know you possess a trait you'd rather change, be vigilant about it, nip it in the bud, and curb it when it happens.

also, in a general way, when you're on any kind of negative trip, whether it's depression or fury, just remind yourself that you're not stuck and you'll feel differently given time. that helps you let yourself experience those feelings and move on to the next.

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stevie667

I share you thoughts exactly there zeraph. I joined the army, didn't work that well but i get to play with guns.

Pick up an aggressive martial art, listen to music (favourite of mine), nail it round some country lanes in a car, try not to smack people you don't like.

Beyond that you need to figure out where your anger comes from, and why it gets topped up, then you can at least try to stop it building up.

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Jozrael

Time to relax.

I think I have anger management problems that have just never manifested themselves. I get so furiously volcanic, but if I'm given even a couple minutes alone, I'll calm down.

But if you get me BEFORE that time...sometimes I say things I'd rather not.

I've never actually been physically violent unprovoked, but there's always the temptation when you're seeing red.

Plan9

I recommend running. Or taking up karate.

I had a lot of frustration and anger as a teenager because I didn't have a clue what to do with my life. I worked various dead end jobs because I didn't have enough $$$ and grades to get into any brand name college. I was screwed. So I had a revelation one day while sitting in my cubicle and decided I needed to become a US Army paratrooper.

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Whatever you can carry.

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vanblah

I don't want to belittle this in any way but can I ask how old you are? More out of curiosity since you kind of sound like I did when I was younger. Not saying that you are younger than me ... just that I was like that in my teens and early 20s.

I'll be 40 in a month ... I still feel angry sometimes.

When I was younger I felt like everyone was letting me down. I'd get so pissed off I'd just shut down completely. Then one day (it seems like it was just all of the sudden) I realized I was my own worst enemy. All that anger was just worthless; so I let it go. But not completely; the feeling is muted now but I still feel it. I work hard at pushing away negativity of any kind. I've burned bridges with people that I feel "bring me down." I don't hold grudges (it takes way too much energy to hold a grudge), and if any of my old friends needed my help I'd be there in a split second; but I don't hang out with them.

Playing music helps a lot. I play piano; but really any kind of creative outlet helps a lot. In fact, if I am stifled creatively (because of work or whatever) then I get really wound up and frustrated. This almost inevitably leads to depression unless I can find time to play (really play; not just tinkle around on a keyboard). When I'm working with my own band (which is on hold) or sitting in with someone else--especially musicians who I think are good--is the best. Just got back from a rehearsal for a CD-release show on Monday with a guitarist who I think is probably one of the best in Memphis.

Oh well, I'm rambling.

Iliftrocks

41 and still angry. Yeah, you have got to get some good outlets, and some alone time to deal with daily noise.

Heavy metal and lifting weights burns off most of my anger. When the bulk is taken away I can listen to easy listening music, or silence, if I can get it, and just deal with whatever is bothering me. Just taking deep breaths and thinking happy thoughts can help too, unless you've already gone over the edge to shouting at inanimate objects.

As vanblah stated above anger is damned useless, in and of itself, and you just can't dwell on it, or it will eat you up.

All my siblings are also angry people, but I watch them live angry lives, and it really has just hurt them. I do alright, but still have some work to do. One of my brothers, who was about the angriest of us, has moved on and become quite the decent person and father. He had to move across the country to do it, but whatever works right?

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Zeraph

Dangerous? Naw. I've never hurt anyone in a serious manner.

Yeah, music and exercise/martial arts help a lot, but sometimes it just builds up and I'm not sure what to do when it happens again. This time seemed to be triggered by a depression that lasted about 36 hours. And yeah, I'm young: 24. I sure hope it decreases with age

It's funny you mentioned the military, as it made me want to join

Usually I'm kind of a zen person, but really there's a lot of emotion that goes on under the surface. I'm trying to express myself better, but old habits die hard. And this one was drilled into me when I was a kid.

KirStang

I feel this way sometimes too. I think it arises out of frustration with not being exactly where I want to be in life, coupled with the excesses of unfounded opinion. I have three solutions: First, I do the workaholic thing and throw myself in to my books or hit the gym. This usually distracts me long enough that by the time I'm done, I feel much better. Second, and perhaps a more long term approach, I try to set some goals (be in the library by 8 am) that will be conducive to success. Knowing that I have a little more control over where my life is heading definitely helps. Third, though this may be a volatile solution, I speak w/ my SO. She reminds me that there is a softer side to life.

Hope this helps.

World's King

Well, if you're married the first step would be to beat your wife...

If not then I have no advice for you.

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SabrinaFair

I take it to the gym. Nothing like hard physical activity to burn off feelings of rage. Then, of course, you have to deal with the underlying emotional issues. But it gets out that angry, frustrate, inarticulate feeling that you (I, anyways) get when I'm really angry.

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robot_parade

All the above is good advice (well, except the bits about beating your wife), but I'd just add: Don't be afraid or ashamed to seek professional help. As in a shrink. I'm not saying you necessarily need such help, but don't turn your back on the possibility. A good shrink might be able to help you deal with some underlying issues, point you in the direction of some good anger management training, or whatever.

Baraka_Guru

I've been wanting to say something like this here for a while. Most recommendations here are good for dealing with symptoms, while there remains the possibility of overlooking the deeper problem(s).

As someone who has spent too many years nailed down by undue feelings of guilt and self-loathing, I can tell you that no number of hours in the gym, no number of alcoholic drinks, no number of hits of marijuana can remedy what lies beneath.

One of the greatest challenges one can face is the realization of what causes our underlying misery. Do not be afraid to look truth in the face. Confront it with courage and work through it and you might one day find yourself looking at uncontrollable and overbearing anger as merely a memory.

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Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
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Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot