What drives you? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

RWE · 09-15-2008, 01:41 AM

Right now, I'm living somewhat comfortably--out of college, working and spending within my means--but I'm trying to change careers and move out of my parents' house.

I have a plan for how I'm going to do this, but some days and some weeks, I find myself completely drained of the desire to do anything. I can scrape through my daily routine, albeit poorly. On these days, I'll gain no ground in things like sending out my resume, emailing contacts for graduate school, etc. On the days when I feel motivated, I feel like I'm investing in myself and my future. On the days when I'm not, I feel like my goals are insurmountable.

It's frustrating because I feel like I should be motivated to pursue my own happiness. My assumption is that everyone has "empty" days like that, so...if I'm right to assume that, then how do you motivate yourself to do what's important? Is it just habits and autopilot? Do you have some motivating words for yourself or turn to friends?

jewels · 09-15-2008, 02:14 AM

Having goals.

Instead of one huge, seemingly "insurmountable" goal, break it down into each step it will take to reach that goal. This way it feels more doable and you can cross it off as "accomplished" once you get there.

You want a specific job, so you're starting with another? Your first goal/step is to procure whatever it is you're looking for now. How do you get there? Write up good resume. Done. Mail to 50 companies. Check. Interview, etc ... You know how to do it.

RWE · 09-16-2008, 12:13 AM

I'll try to break my goals down further. I want to become an Environmental Planner, which is a type of Urban Planner. I've only applied for 2 positions so far, but I've talked to 5-6 professionals who've told me that it'll be hard to get a job as a planner without an education in urban planning. I've looked into masters programs...and now I want to get an internship to improve my chances of getting into grad school. Applying to internships is where my progress has slowed a lot. I've taken a while to apply to any job in the past, so it's this applying part that feels like an uphill battle.

Thanks for the advice, I'll give it a shot.

Cynthetiq · 09-16-2008, 12:31 AM

Goals, which are broken down to milestones, which are further broken down to projects, broken down to tasks, which assigned to days. Sometimes I don't always have a task for a day, since I have other things to do and a day job.

when I have no goals, I flounder.

Nisses · 09-16-2008, 01:13 AM

Somewhat similar to Cynthetiq, but worse I guess:

What drives me:
Goals to projects to tasks to time periods.
But what really drives me, is deadlines and workload.
Give me 15 jobs to do and I'll do 12 in recordtime and quality work too.
Then the last 3 jobs will take a long, LONG time... Until a deadline approaches, or I get another load of things I either HAVE to or really WANT to do.
Then they somehow get finished and I'm off for another run...

I can't just work at a steady pace it seems.
(also, if I really want AND have to do something, better stay out of my way, and out of shouting distance too...)

Cynthetiq · 09-16-2008, 01:20 AM

oh yes, that's a driver too for me, deadlines and workload.... the more I have on my plate the more driven I am.

I'd like to add that the goal structure I outlined above also works for my personal life goals.

abaya · 09-16-2008, 01:29 AM

I need 3 things: a carrot dangling in front of me, in the form of praise and attention from my superiors... fear of other people perceiving me as not working hard enough... and deadlines, deadlines, deadlines. I am useless without at least one of these. Two of them generally keep lazy inertia at bay. And I am extremely productive and motivated when I have all three.

I have been functioning for the last 18 months with none of the above, and it has severely impacted my productivity and work ethic on my PhD project. I suppose it might all boil down to fear as my motivation for work, and desire for praise. Yeah, it's simplistic, but I'm more wired to be a worker bee than to be an independent innovator. This is why PhD's suck for people like me.

I have since decided that a PhD is a reward for simply being able to produce something without having these 3 essential elements that people take for granted in regular workplaces. That's all it is--it has nothing to do with intelligence or significant research or anything else. And since I have recognized this fact, I have been able to focus more on my work and actually get something done. Maybe I need cynicism in order to be productive, too... or at least, constantly reality checks and less navel-gazing, which is my inclination.

Get realistic about your goals. You know that you can't get into grad school without those internships. You can't get those internships without applying for them. So get your ass into applying for them. Fill out one application a day. Set a daily goal, like that. That's the only thing that gets me through to the final goal.

RWE · 09-16-2008, 11:00 PM

Nisses, I've found in the past that when I have 15 things to do, I also get most done pretty timely and effectively, while the last take forever. Having those 15 things to do for a long period of time is really stressful, though.

Abava, I've also found that fear of other people perceiving me as not working hard enough and deadlines are strong motivators for me to do something (but not necessarily to do it well). That's also really stressful and it seems like many people I know can just get through whatever life throws at them as if it's another item to work through by habit and check off of the list. I guess I'm hoping that one day I can manage life smoothly on autopilot, with relatively little anxiety on my part. Is that hoping for too much?

curiousbear · 09-18-2008, 12:58 PM

How it started
At age 13 I attained my first dose of wisdom. I defined goals and values. The drove me. I always had a five year plan and mostly hit targets with minimum slips.
At 25 I reached the first life-exit point. That is if I die now there is no regret, loss or damage to others.

How it took turn
Due to change in my ideology, beleifs and perception the goals I set when I was 13 got invalidated.
Due to some life-time decisions I made I lost some values. My personality degenerated and lost few more values. Those are my own personal values, no one told me they are important. It is all self constructed.

How it remains
Some goals still remain as dreams. A eco-freindly self-contained farm house. A PhD. Teaching at College. They are no longer goals. I look at them as dreams. So I really dont do anything to get there.
I had lost the heroism I had for myself. So now all I do is just my work and give company to my wife. (I have a great job and a great wife thou). But it would be lovely to be what I originally was (after 13).

So what drives me now is the recognition/credibility/money at work and love for my wife

girldetective · 09-18-2008, 02:08 PM

love.

its fucking true. its the only thing that really drives me.

lotsofmagnets · 09-18-2008, 04:20 PM

my penis. what?

jorgelito · 09-18-2008, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cynthetiq

Goals, which are broken down to milestones, which are further broken down to projects, broken down to tasks, which assigned to days. Sometimes I don't always have a task for a day, since I have other things to do and a day job.

when I have no goals, I flounder.

I agree, this is me.
-----Added 19/9/2008 at 12 : 31 : 56-----

Quote:

Originally Posted by girldetective

love.

its fucking true. its the only thing that really drives me.

Best reply. Nicely done girldetective.

dlish · 09-18-2008, 09:31 PM

my mum used to drive me everywhere...

no seriously - deadlines. i always make a deadline. never been late but always either get an extension or make it by a whisker.

what better motivation that a deadline?

yes i am a procrastinator

thespian86 · 09-18-2008, 10:03 PM

The ragged edge of disaster

RWE · 09-20-2008, 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dlish

my mum used to drive me everywhere...

Oh my god I'm slow, I read that 5 times before I got what you're talking about

Externally imposed deadlines can motivate me--I always got homework in on time in college and prepared myself fairly well for tests. That was tiring though, and I guess I'd like to be motivated to do something because I love to do it...except that I'd like that for everything that I need to do. I guess I'm hoping for the impossible.

09-15-2008, 01:41 AM	#1 (permalink)
RWE Upright	What drives you? Right now, I'm living somewhat comfortably--out of college, working and spending within my means--but I'm trying to change careers and move out of my parents' house. I have a plan for how I'm going to do this, but some days and some weeks, I find myself completely drained of the desire to do anything. I can scrape through my daily routine, albeit poorly. On these days, I'll gain no ground in things like sending out my resume, emailing contacts for graduate school, etc. On the days when I feel motivated, I feel like I'm investing in myself and my future. On the days when I'm not, I feel like my goals are insurmountable. It's frustrating because I feel like I should be motivated to pursue my own happiness. My assumption is that everyone has "empty" days like that, so...if I'm right to assume that, then how do you motivate yourself to do what's important? Is it just habits and autopilot? Do you have some motivating words for yourself or turn to friends? __________________ "Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

09-15-2008, 02:14 AM	#2 (permalink)
jewels Eponymous Location: Central Central Florida	Having goals. Instead of one huge, seemingly "insurmountable" goal, break it down into each step it will take to reach that goal. This way it feels more doable and you can cross it off as "accomplished" once you get there. You want a specific job, so you're starting with another? Your first goal/step is to procure whatever it is you're looking for now. How do you get there? Write up good resume. Done. Mail to 50 companies. Check. Interview, etc ... You know how to do it. __________________ We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess. Mark Twain

09-16-2008, 12:13 AM	#3 (permalink)
RWE Upright	I'll try to break my goals down further. I want to become an Environmental Planner, which is a type of Urban Planner. I've only applied for 2 positions so far, but I've talked to 5-6 professionals who've told me that it'll be hard to get a job as a planner without an education in urban planning. I've looked into masters programs...and now I want to get an internship to improve my chances of getting into grad school. Applying to internships is where my progress has slowed a lot. I've taken a while to apply to any job in the past, so it's this applying part that feels like an uphill battle. Thanks for the advice, I'll give it a shot. __________________ "Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

09-16-2008, 12:31 AM	#4 (permalink)
Cynthetiq Tilted Cat Head Administrator Location: Manhattan, NY	Goals, which are broken down to milestones, which are further broken down to projects, broken down to tasks, which assigned to days. Sometimes I don't always have a task for a day, since I have other things to do and a day job. when I have no goals, I flounder. __________________ I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. What's the best nation in the world? DO-NATION!

09-16-2008, 01:13 AM	#5 (permalink)
Nisses Shade Location: Belgium	Somewhat similar to Cynthetiq, but worse I guess: What drives me: Goals to projects to tasks to time periods. But what really drives me, is deadlines and workload. Give me 15 jobs to do and I'll do 12 in recordtime and quality work too. Then the last 3 jobs will take a long, LONG time... Until a deadline approaches, or I get another load of things I either HAVE to or really WANT to do. Then they somehow get finished and I'm off for another run... I can't just work at a steady pace it seems. (also, if I really want AND have to do something, better stay out of my way, and out of shouting distance too...) __________________ Moderation should be moderately moderated.

09-16-2008, 01:20 AM	#6 (permalink)
Cynthetiq Tilted Cat Head Administrator Location: Manhattan, NY	oh yes, that's a driver too for me, deadlines and workload.... the more I have on my plate the more driven I am. I'd like to add that the goal structure I outlined above also works for my personal life goals. __________________ I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. What's the best nation in the world? DO-NATION!

09-16-2008, 01:29 AM	#7 (permalink)
abaya Location: Iceland	I need 3 things: a carrot dangling in front of me, in the form of praise and attention from my superiors... fear of other people perceiving me as not working hard enough... and deadlines, deadlines, deadlines. I am useless without at least one of these. Two of them generally keep lazy inertia at bay. And I am extremely productive and motivated when I have all three. I have been functioning for the last 18 months with none of the above, and it has severely impacted my productivity and work ethic on my PhD project. I suppose it might all boil down to fear as my motivation for work, and desire for praise. Yeah, it's simplistic, but I'm more wired to be a worker bee than to be an independent innovator. This is why PhD's suck for people like me. I have since decided that a PhD is a reward for simply being able to produce something without having these 3 essential elements that people take for granted in regular workplaces. That's all it is--it has nothing to do with intelligence or significant research or anything else. And since I have recognized this fact, I have been able to focus more on my work and actually get something done. Maybe I need cynicism in order to be productive, too... or at least, constantly reality checks and less navel-gazing, which is my inclination. Get realistic about your goals. You know that you can't get into grad school without those internships. You can't get those internships without applying for them. So get your ass into applying for them. Fill out one application a day. Set a daily goal, like that. That's the only thing that gets me through to the final goal. __________________ And think not you can direct the course of Love; for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. --Khalil Gibran

09-16-2008, 11:00 PM	#8 (permalink)
RWE Upright	Nisses, I've found in the past that when I have 15 things to do, I also get most done pretty timely and effectively, while the last take forever. Having those 15 things to do for a long period of time is really stressful, though. Abava, I've also found that fear of other people perceiving me as not working hard enough and deadlines are strong motivators for me to do something (but not necessarily to do it well). That's also really stressful and it seems like many people I know can just get through whatever life throws at them as if it's another item to work through by habit and check off of the list. I guess I'm hoping that one day I can manage life smoothly on autopilot, with relatively little anxiety on my part. Is that hoping for too much? __________________ "Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

09-18-2008, 12:58 PM	#9 (permalink)
curiousbear Addict Location: WA	*How it started* At age 13 I attained my first dose of wisdom. I defined goals and values. The drove me. I always had a five year plan and mostly hit targets with minimum slips. At 25 I reached the first life-exit point. That is if I die now there is no regret, loss or damage to others. *How it took turn* Due to change in my ideology, beleifs and perception the goals I set when I was 13 got invalidated. Due to some life-time decisions I made I lost some values. My personality degenerated and lost few more values. Those are my own personal values, no one told me they are important. It is all self constructed. *How it remains* Some goals still remain as dreams. A eco-freindly self-contained farm house. A PhD. Teaching at College. They are no longer goals. I look at them as dreams. So I really dont do anything to get there. I had lost the heroism I had for myself. So now all I do is just my work and give company to my wife. (I have a great job and a great wife thou). But it would be lovely to be what I originally was (after 13). So what drives me now is the recognition/credibility/money at work and love for my wife

09-18-2008, 02:08 PM	#10 (permalink)
girldetective sufferable	love. its fucking true. its the only thing that really drives me. __________________ As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons...be cheerful; strive for happiness - Desiderata

09-18-2008, 04:20 PM	#11 (permalink)
lotsofmagnets Upright Location: reykjavík, iceland	my penis. what? __________________ mother nature made the aeroplane, and the submarine sandwich, with the steady hands and dead eye of a remarkable sculptor. she shed her mountain turning training wheels, for the convenience of the moving sidewalk, that delivers the magnetic monkey children through the mouth of impossible calendar clock, into the devil's manhole cauldron. physics of a bicycle, isn't it remarkable?

09-18-2008, 09:31 PM	#13 (permalink)
dlish Currently sour but formerly Dlishs Super Moderator Location: Australia/UAE	my mum used to drive me everywhere... no seriously - deadlines. i always make a deadline. never been late but always either get an extension or make it by a whisker. what better motivation that a deadline? yes i am a procrastinator __________________ An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay? - Filthy

09-18-2008, 10:03 PM	#14 (permalink)
thespian86 change is hard. Location: the green room.	The ragged edge of disaster __________________ EX: Whats new? ME: I officially love coffee more then you now. EX: uh... ME: So, not much.