11-28-2007, 08:39 PM | #1 (permalink) |
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From friendship to a relationship with a shy girl
I met a girl a few months ago through the bike(the pedal kind) club at my university. She was just getting into biking and wanted to learn so I started taking her riding. Since then I've taken her biking once or twice a week for the last 2 months or so. She is always really keen to go out biking with me... but I don't know if it's because she just wants to ride her bike or she's also interested in me. I'm pretty sure if she didn't go out riding with me she wouldn't be able to find anyone to ride with because most people aren't very patient with beginners. Initially I wasn't really interested in anything more than a platonic relationship with lots of bike riding and she was really quiet and shy but seemed to enjoy herself. The more I've gotten to know her the more interested/attracted I've become though.
The problem is she is really shy and quiet. Not just around me but around pretty much everyone I've seen her interact with. I like girls like this but I can't really figure out what to do. I'm almost positive that if she was interested in being anything more than just friends she wouldn't do or say anything about so I'd definitely have to make the first move. I also don't think she has much or any relationship experience and she doesn't seem to pick up on any of the subtler hints I've put out there. Normally I'd just go for it and ask her on a obvious "this is a date" date, but I don't want to lose a good biking buddy/potential friend in this case. I'm pretty sure that if I made it clear I was interested in a relationship and she wasn't things would be too awkward to continue hanging out. I definitely want to remain friends either way, but I know if I don;t act somewhat soon I'll be stuck in the friend zone forever. Does anyone have any suggestions on finding out if she is interested and initiating something without risking our friendship if she isn't into me? |
11-29-2007, 06:28 AM | #2 (permalink) |
Junkie
Location: Greater Harrisburg Area
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If you want to go on a date with her, ask her out on a date.
I doubt you're going to be able to ask her on a date and not change your status as riding partners, so you have to make the choice on what you want more.
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The advantage law is the best law in rugby, because it lets you ignore all the others for the good of the game. Last edited by Hektore; 11-29-2007 at 06:39 AM.. |
11-29-2007, 08:36 AM | #3 (permalink) |
Husband of Seamaiden
Location: Nova Scotia
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or you could just stop riding at a romantic spot and when she asks you what's up, you could answer her by leaning over and kissing her. Chances are, she's already thought of it before.
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I am a brother to dragons, and a companion to owls. - Job 30:29 1123, 6536, 5321 |
11-29-2007, 09:39 AM | #4 (permalink) |
Addict
Location: USA
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I'd invite her to do something outside of biking. Coffee or lunch. Don't call it a date and just see how it goes. That'll give you a more gradual ins to a real date. Good luck for sure!
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11-29-2007, 09:57 AM | #5 (permalink) | |
Psycho
Location: Massachusetts
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11-29-2007, 12:19 PM | #6 (permalink) | |
Misanthropic
Location: Ohio! yay!
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do this. we'll wait here. go. now.
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Crack, you and I are long overdue for a vicious bout of mansex. ~Halx |
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12-05-2007, 09:32 AM | #8 (permalink) | |
The sky calls to us ...
Super Moderator
Location: CT
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Let me present the evidence.
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2: She always wants to spend more time with you 3: She always wants to spend more time with you verdict: She wants to spend more time with you You know where I'm going with this. |
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12-05-2007, 10:42 AM | #9 (permalink) | |
Young Crumudgeon
Location: Canada
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MrSelfDestruct also raises an excellent point. Unless you're integral somehow to the bike riding process (tandem cycle?) then it's probably a safe bet that it's you she's interested in and not the riding itself.
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I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said - Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame |
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12-05-2007, 10:53 AM | #10 (permalink) |
Eponymous
Location: Central Central Florida
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Is it possible you could have missed a signal from her? Is she flirtatious with you? Does she touch you in conversation? Anything?
If not, the kiss thing would be a great idea. However, if you're not brazen enough to go in for it, see how she reacts to a physical touch of the arm, a flirty look ... you get the idea. The key is, you have to be sharp and alert. Watch every move she makes, every look she gives you. |
12-05-2007, 04:42 PM | #11 (permalink) | |
Junkie
Location: upstate NY
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Even worse if only one of you has a helmet on. I think she likes you. You should ask her out on a real date. |
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12-06-2007, 01:09 PM | #12 (permalink) |
Psycho
Location: Under the Radar
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My wife is the shy type, too. Before we were dating, we used to go running together. She would agree to go running with me pretty much whenever I asked, which was great because I had a huge crush on her. During our time together, we used to talk, but not in any kind of flirtatious way. Over time, I got the courage to tell her how I felt about her, and we've been together ever since.
After we had been dating for a while, she asked me why it took so long for me to ask her out. My answer was that she never gave me any obvious signals that she liked me, so I never made the move. She thought that her "obvious" signal was that she always wanted to go running with me. I probably don't need to spell it out for you any further......
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12-07-2007, 05:06 PM | #13 (permalink) | ||
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Last edited by wugic; 12-07-2007 at 05:09 PM.. |
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Tags |
friendship, girl, relationship, shy |
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