From friendship to a relationship with a shy girl
 

I met a girl a few months ago through the bike(the pedal kind) club at my university. She was just getting into biking and wanted to learn so I started taking her riding. Since then I've taken her biking once or twice a week for the last 2 months or so. She is always really keen to go out biking with me... but I don't know if it's because she just wants to ride her bike or she's also interested in me. I'm pretty sure if she didn't go out riding with me she wouldn't be able to find anyone to ride with because most people aren't very patient with beginners. Initially I wasn't really interested in anything more than a platonic relationship with lots of bike riding and she was really quiet and shy but seemed to enjoy herself. The more I've gotten to know her the more interested/attracted I've become though.

The problem is she is really shy and quiet. Not just around me but around pretty much everyone I've seen her interact with. I like girls like this but I can't really figure out what to do. I'm almost positive that if she was interested in being anything more than just friends she wouldn't do or say anything about so I'd definitely have to make the first move. I also don't think she has much or any relationship experience and she doesn't seem to pick up on any of the subtler hints I've put out there. Normally I'd just go for it and ask her on a obvious "this is a date" date, but I don't want to lose a good biking buddy/potential friend in this case. I'm pretty sure that if I made it clear I was interested in a relationship and she wasn't things would be too awkward to continue hanging out. I definitely want to remain friends either way, but I know if I don;t act somewhat soon I'll be stuck in the friend zone forever.

Does anyone have any suggestions on finding out if she is interested and initiating something without risking our friendship if she isn't into me?

If you want to go on a date with her, ask her out on a date.

I doubt you're going to be able to ask her on a date and not change your status as riding partners, so you have to make the choice on what you want more.

or you could just stop riding at a romantic spot and when she asks you what's up, you could answer her by leaning over and kissing her. Chances are, she's already thought of it before.

I'd invite her to do something outside of biking. Coffee or lunch. Don't call it a date and just see how it goes. That'll give you a more gradual ins to a real date. Good luck for sure!

Yep. Ask about doing something other than biking and go from there. The easiest thing would be to tack on some kind of meal to your biking event. A sort of "pseudo-date" and see how it goes.

do this. we'll wait here. go. now.

Ah, memories. Shy girls are the best.

Let me present the evidence.
1: She always wants to spend more time with you
2: She always wants to spend more time with you
3: She always wants to spend more time with you

verdict: She wants to spend more time with you

You know where I'm going with this.

Clearly, Lucifer is a smooth operator. I like this move, but would emphasize that it will require a great deal of confidence to pull off. Not to say you shouldn't try, just that you need to do it properly or not at all.

MrSelfDestruct also raises an excellent point. Unless you're integral somehow to the bike riding process (tandem cycle?) then it's probably a safe bet that it's you she's interested in and not the riding itself.

Is it possible you could have missed a signal from her? Is she flirtatious with you? Does she touch you in conversation? Anything?

If not, the kiss thing would be a great idea. However, if you're not brazen enough to go in for it, see how she reacts to a physical touch of the arm, a flirty look ... you get the idea. The key is, you have to be sharp and alert. Watch every move she makes, every look she gives you.

Careful that......It's likely you are both wearing helmets and all that will happen is a big thunk on the head for both of you.
Even worse if only one of you has a helmet on.
I think she likes you. You should ask her out on a real date.

My wife is the shy type, too. Before we were dating, we used to go running together. She would agree to go running with me pretty much whenever I asked, which was great because I had a huge crush on her. During our time together, we used to talk, but not in any kind of flirtatious way. Over time, I got the courage to tell her how I felt about her, and we've been together ever since.

After we had been dating for a while, she asked me why it took so long for me to ask her out. My answer was that she never gave me any obvious signals that she liked me, so I never made the move. She thought that her "obvious" signal was that she always wanted to go running with me.

I probably don't need to spell it out for you any further......

I think I kind of am - we are mountain biking so it's not a good idea to go alone in case you crash(see below) and most people don't have the patience to ride with someone slow. If it was just riding around the city or whatever I'd hope I would realize that she was interested in more than just the biking.

You were close - she thunked her head on a rock last time and I got to take her on a nice date to the hospital. We are going riding tomorrow so I'll try and put some of the advice here to use. I don't think I'm going to try lucifer's kiss idea though - I can guarantee that would be really awkward even if she is really into me. I'm not even close to smooth enough for that. Maybe I should have gone for it while she was dazed from her concussion though....

Hey, how'd it go?

I checked and saw you logged in today. Don't leave us hanging.

Yes, nothing says romance quite like putting your lips on someone with an altered mental status. ;) lol

I think you just described 5 years worth of my last two failed relationships :orly: