Miss Mango

(I saw this on another site and thought it was an interesting question)

If someone offered you a million dollars versus one day with a loved one who has passed on, what would you choose?

I can't decide. As much as I could use the money, I would equally love to have one more day, just one, with my Grandpa. He was such a big influece on my life and I miss him terribly. It's been ten years since he died and yet I still have a lot of heartache. I think I could handle the losing him again, since I'd know ahead of time.

Willravel

Selfish choice vs. selfish choice....I suppose a family member, but honestly I've already long since made peace with the passing of each person. It'd be like ripping open the stitches on an old open heart surgery wound. At the same time, what kind of person would take money instead of allowing a loved one to have one more day to say goodbye? I get the impression that my mother would be very grateful to spend one more day with her father, who passed away after years of Alzheimer's.

Charlatan

I'll take the million. While it would be nice to see them and tell them the things I didn't say I would just be putting both myself and them in a lot of pain.

Granted their pain will be over in 24 hours or less. My pain, will just be dragged up from where I put and refreshed.

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Dilbert1234567

i know any loved one i spent the day with would spend it hitting me for not taking the million. I'd probably still spend it with them.

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Donate Blood!

"Love is not finding the perfect person, but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." -Sam Keen

Push-Pull

Charlatan nailed it.

Besides, I gots bills to pay. And my relatives are tired of helping out.....

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DAMMIT! -Jack Bauer-

Psycho Dad

I'd not want any of my family to pass up a million bucks to spend time with me and I'd venture my dead relatives would feel the same way.

Show me the money.

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Mister Coaster

The only really close loved one who has passed was my dad. I often have days with him, either dreaming at night, or simply making decisions in my life based on how I think he would have done it. He was a great man and I'm proud to be continueing his life for him.

So, yeah. Gimme a million dollars.

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Lasereth

Me being financially secure for 10+ years versus spending a painful, tear jerking day with a dead relative for 24 hours, all the while risking your pain of the death getting worse? I'll take the million and buy some expensive flowers for their gravestone.

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QuasiMondo

I've got bills. I also have good memories. I'll take the million dollars.

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-From the Collector's Edition DVD of The Terminator

Kpax

Well, I haven't lost a loved one that I yearn for too much, not to sound insensitive, but what I mean is, they're all relatives I didn't know very well.

I would choose the million, because that's $50,000 a year for 20 years, or something like that. If I live an average, modest life, that means I don't ever have to work again.

Now, if it were my wife that I lost (Although, I'm not married yet), I would probably choose the one day.

tenniels

I'd have to say the million. Maybe if my mum or brothers had passed, I'd change my mind. But again, the whole picking the scab thing comes up, like you've moved on from the pain and to relive that might not be worth it. I think any of my loved ones that have moved on would want me to take the money so I could get myself out of debt. If I was in a better place financially, then why not spend a day with a loved one? Too many variables to decide I guess...

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StellaLuna

Hand over the cash. My grandparents who have passed away had long, drawn-out illnesses-- I had plenty of time to get my head wrapped around the idea that I wouldn't see them again. My friend Steve, who died while we were both college freshmen, would be pissed beyond belief if I decided I needed to see him again. His death was such a shock that I'm still not quite over it, and any time spent with him would rip my heart apart again. He would slap me up one side and down the other for undoing ten years' worth of healing.

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Screw tradition!

lurkette

Money is just money. I'd gladly give up a million dollars to see my brother again. There's so much I want to ask him or tell him.

Interesting to think about it in reverse - would you pay a million dollars to see your loved one again? It's one thing if you're giving up a million dollars that you wouldn't otherwise have, vs. taking out a mortgage on one day with a loved one. Don't know that I'd be able to do it.

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guthmund

I'd take the million. I'd be happy.



And then justify the choice by assuring myself my relatives would want me to be happy.

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Kpax

True. If I had a million dollars already, it seems worthwhile to bring back a loved one if you can, but I guess the reason is because in the first question of having one or the other, you neither have one or the other, and are faced with choosing one, whereas if you have the million arlready, your fascination with it is already settled, and you might choose what you don't have at the moment...

analog

Million dollars. All the happiness that 24 hours could possibly bring would be destroyed and made tenfold worse by having to lose them all over again.

highthief

Gimme the money. The person will still be dead 24 hours later, that would suck.

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lurkette

Wow...so far I'm the only person who's turned down the million. I really don't see it as opening old wounds. Far to the contrary, for me having another day with my brother would give me the chance to put some things well and truly to rest. I could tell him how sorry I am that much of his life sucked, and that while it wasn't my job to make it better I wish I could have done more. And I could ask him how he would feel about me risking having a kid with the same disease he struggled with all his life, vs. choosing not to have a kid because of the disease. I could tell him one more time how much I love and admire him. And then we'd go to a skate park and I'd watch him do what he loved doing one last time. Worth more than a million, IMHO.

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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."

- Anatole France

Redlemon

Well Lurkette, I'm also going with the million dollars, because I am fortunate enough not to have had a loss as painful as yours. My family members who have died had lived their lives.

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ShaniFaye

I'd have to go with the money too, and Dave would agree. I wouldnt be able to take losing a loved one a 2nd time, I got to say goodbye to my grandparents and that tore me up bad enough, I couldnt do it again.

Both of my parents and Dave know anything I would tell them on "one more day" anyway because I make sure I tell them I love and appreciate them on a daily/weekly basis. None of them would die "wondering". Besides both Dave and my Daddy would kick my butt for not making myself financially secure lol

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

JustJess

Wow. I'm with Lurkette. I was 7 when my father died. I would give up a lot of things to meet him as an adult. For him to see me as an adult. To know the kind of daughter his amazing wife raised. I never got any closure... so one day, while painful, would be also very healing.

Fuck... I can *make* money. I can't substitute my father's hug. He died in the hospital, and I was too little to visit him there - I wasn't even there when he died. No one was (he managed to die *while my mom was in the bathroom*.). I think we'd all give up one thing we never had for a better thing we never will.

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skier

How much time do i really get to spend with them after taxes?

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Kpax

Yeah, it really depends on who of your loved ones you've lost. Like I said, if I were married and lost my wife, I would choose to have her back for a day.

This question right now to me means pay off all of my debt with money left over to buy a house and never work again, or see one of my distant relatives who died when I was 3 who I never got to know...

I would go with the million.

spindles

yep - show me the money - I haven't really lost anyone that I really would like to talk to again.

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hrandani

If it meant I could resurrect Jesus for a day (again! haha), just for the hell of it. I'd pass up a million dollars in a heartbeat.

Wow, just imagine the chaos.

abaya

I'm with the minority here, because my father died one month before I was born and I have only seen him in pictures. I would give just about anything to meet him, even for one day, and even if I had to say goodbye at the end. At least this time I would have the chance to say goodbye, and so would my mother, and so would everyone else in his family. When someone dies suddenly, in the prime of their lives (he was 32), and the body is never found... you can bet we would all pay a million to have that chance for closure.

To put another spin on it, his family received some life insurance money as a result of his death, and you can also bet that we all would have given back every cent to have him back for even one day. There would be no second thoughts in my mind. I think I would even be willing to pay a million dollars to meet him, if I had it.

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snowy

I've made peace with the losses I've experienced, and I don't want to open up new wounds.

Besides, both my grandfathers would refuse to speak to me if they found out I had given up a million dollars. One grandpa lived through the Hunger Winter in the Netherlands, and the other the Depression. One had to be bullied into replacing his worn-out clothing, and the other went shopping for a Bose radio and bought one for us, not for himself. I think it's clear that I would actually feel less guilty taking the money.

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ShaniFaye

I posed this question to one of my co workers today and we came to the conclusion that if we could have one day with ALL our loved ones and have a huge family reunion complete with ham, deviled eggs, biscuits and gravy, fried apple pies and coconut cake we'd give up the million dollars in a heartbeat

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

snowy

I asked my mother this question and she said she would take another day with her father, to ask if he thought she was doing okay. I told her I felt I didn't need that kind of validation from my grandfathers; they would be proud of me no matter what. She did understand why I would choose the money, though, and agreed that neither of my grandfathers would speak to me if I chose otherwise.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

fresnelly

I'm torn.

On one hand, I'd love for my Wife's Sister to be back and meet her new Niece and Nephew, but one day? It would never be enough, and then you have to lose them all over again. Neither offer is very fulfilling. It brings to mind the fables of Orpheus and Eurydice or Persephone and Demeter.

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Zeraph

The money, but then again I've never lost a wife or kid. Even so, I would think it would just bring up the old pain. And I generally say what I need to when they're alive, so far no regrets. Though I might want to ask what happens after you die if your literally ressurecting them....

mirevolver

A million dollars or spending 24 hours with a zombie. I'd take the million as zombie insurance.

Seriously though, my grandfather is the only deceased family member I would want to talk to. I do have many questions about what it was like for him growing up in Nazi Germany and fleeing to the US to avoid getting drafted. But then he would probably be annoyed with me for not taking the million.

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ngdawg

Amen....

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Crack

Anyone I would want to see that badly, would care enough about me to want me to take the million, and have fun with it.

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miko

At the moment, I'd take the million.

telekinetic

Make it 'have another year' with your loved one and it becomes a much harder choice, but I agree with everyone that 24 hours isn't long enough to be anything but a repeat of having to say goodbye.

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twisted no more

Elphaba

I wouldn't want my father to struggle for one more breath again.

I wouldn't want Jan to scream in pain again, blinded by brain cancer.

I wouldn't want Tim to experience two bullets to the head again.

My aunt and uncle before they burned to death? No.

My cousin before he put a bullet to his head. No.

I hate these rediculous what-if topics.

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abaya

I concur with everyone who has had to say goodbye to a loved one, especially after a long illness... no one wants to go through that again.

But what if you never had the chance to say goodbye in the first place? What if the person who died never got to say goodbye to anyone, because they died alone in a freak, sudden accident?

And what if it wasn't "before" someone died (as in, you knew they had to go through that whole suffering again), but what if it was more like a "visit," from wherever they might be now? (Not saying I believe in any afterlife whatsoever, but just for the sake of this thread.)

I still think that for me personally, if I could at least meet my father once and say hello, nice to meet you, let's spend a day getting to know each other as father and daughter, and then say goodbye... well, that would be one heckuva big deal, and worth it to me.

Not in any other situation, like where I had to watch someone die... but that one, yes. I think it's a valid exception. Is there no one else out there who feels the same way?

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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

jth

I'd take the money no question. No one I have known or Loved enough has died leading me to even remotely consider it and even the obvious inevitable losses such as parents or siblings... I've spent my whole live influenced by them and I would rather be influenced by the money to allow me to enjoy the rest of my life and do the things that money holds me back from being able to do. Money will end up being the only thing in this life that I will lack that I desire and I certainly am not a greedy man. In fact a million dollars seems in access for myself. I simply wish to live without a debt.

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ShaniFaye

If I could pick someone in the family I never knew, namely my HUGE brick wall in my genealogy research, I would pick her over the money

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!