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Hand over the cash. My grandparents who have passed away had long, drawn-out illnesses-- I had plenty of time to get my head wrapped around the idea that I wouldn't see them again. My friend Steve, who died while we were both college freshmen, would be pissed beyond belief if I decided I needed to see him again. His death was such a shock that I'm still not quite over it, and any time spent with him would rip my heart apart again. He would slap me up one side and down the other for undoing ten years' worth of healing.
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Screw tradition!
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