Prince

I guess this one's mostly for the guys, but all thoughts are welcome.

I got to thinking about dads, mine specifically, and about the future wherein I hope to be one myself, someday. And I began to wonder about all the dads out there, what they mean to us, and more importantly, what do we as men learn from them that we then pass on to our own children.

So, I guess I have two questions for you...

1) What is/was your dad like, as a man?

2) What qualities of your dad's, or your relationship with him, do you want to or try to utilize and have yourself when raising children of your own?

__________________
Who is John Galt?

JustJess

1. I don't know (he died when I was 7). I think he was strong, and kind, and mellow. He had a great smile, and I think he laughed plenty. He loved to cook, and he knew how to build things. He was a pilot in the AF and a math teacher when he retired. He liked his drink (or so I'm told) but never overdid it. He had a strong sense of responsibility, but wasn't too serious.

2. Since I only know the positives... all of them. He and my mom were well-matched partners, and parented us well, as a team. I think that's important. In my house, there weren't any limits on what we could do - the men cooked, the women fixed things, but that was only today. Tomorrow, they switched. I want that sort of well-roundedness in my house too.

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My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.

feelgood

2. I'll implement his system of inducing pain with his wedding ring with a big ass pearl on it. Taught me and my brother lots of things, and I'm pretty sure my kids will learn something from me doing the same thing too

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Looking out the window, that's an act of war. Staring at my shoes, that's an act of war. Committing an act of war? Oh you better believe that's an act of war

absorbentishe

No. 1. My dad, to everyone outside the family, was this super guy. Everyone loves, wants to do things for, etc. As to the family, he was an a-hole. Always found fault in everything you did (son, why didn't you swing at the first pitch, it was perfect, instead you struck out on crap pitches). Oh I could go on and on.

No. 2. Nothing. I want/am starting over with my own perspective. If I do or say anything my father said/would have said, my wife yells at me. I'm trying to be everything he wasn't to me.

He's now 85, declining in health, and our relationship has done the same. When I was not working (sales job that was stupid), he told me I was a loser that couldn't take care of his own family.

I'll stop, there's sooooo much more I could tell you.

Journeyman

2. After hearing the stories about my family history, I've come to the conclusion that each generation has been dramatically better than the last. My paternal great-grandfather came out of Co. Kerry, Ireland, and was the nicest guy you ever met... unless he was drinking. Stereotypical drunk Irishman looking for a brawl where ever he could find it, and he occasionally got so lit that he'd bring out the shotgun and threaten to end the whole family, kids and all. He lived to his 70's, when he was walking home from a bar with his sons and accidentally stumbled into the street, getting hit by a trolley. He lived for a week, but still went out. Rumor has it one of his sons gave him a nudge in front of the trolley as payback for childhood. Even in his middle-later years, some old friends of the family would relate how they'd stop by to see my uncle Lloyd (when they were 10 or 12) and find this or that down in splinters and somebody would have a black eye or a fat lip.

My paternal grandfather never brought out guns, but he sure beat the fuck outta my dad once in a while. My dad actually thanks god that his only brother is some 10 or 12 years older than him, figuring that it toned down G-Pa some. He died of liver failure, also in his 70's.

My dad only ever hit me once, when I was buzzed and got in an argument with him. I took a shot at him and clipped his cheek, and he countered by fully breaking my nose. It's still crooked to this day. He never drank that I can remember, on account of his hitting bottom and my mom leaving him before I turned 4. So he quit, went into the program, got back together with my mom He had some 15 years of sobriety after that. Then a forklift ran over his leg at work and crushed it. A few surgeries, a lot of morphine in the hospital and an ongoing perscription for oxycotin, and he ended up addicted to oxy cotin. When he couldn't get that, he ended up turning back to booze. Mom left him again, but being 21, I just kinda jumped right in with him, and we had a blast for the past year and a half whenever I got to see him, but I some nights he was too lit up and would try to goad me into trading blows with him. Now he's got almost 3 months sober again.

I've decided on the firm commitment that, in the event that I get married in the future, I'll have a bachelors party where I'll have my last drink. Ever.

Each generation, dramatically better.

Halx

My dad and I are a lot alike. We're both quiet, patient loners. We enjoy being the 'wise' one and giving advice. We're both lazy, but we love doing the things that nobody else can do. We are stern and serious, but we love to flirt and are sharply witty. I think my Dad is a good example of a hands-off parent. We've become close just by simply respecting eachother.

His parenting style was always just to watch, wait and listen. He never imposed himself on me unless I really fucked up. He let me decide what I wanted to do, offered a few suggestions, but gave me his full support when I decided. I would like to do the same with my kid.

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snowy

My dad is incredibly patient, kind, generous, and thoughtful. He is my hero. He has always been there to catch me when I needed catching. He has always helped me when I needed helping, no matter what kind of help it was. He is also the voice of reason in my family, and is one of the most logical people I know--but it's logic tempered with heart. He is a great teacher, with a tendency to lecture about a subject he finds interesting. Fortunately for me, he has inspired my interest in a great number of subjects he finds interesting--the Civil War, United States history in general, modern politics, trains, educational methods, and the Western United States. He's not much for watching movies, especially at the theater. He likes to drink beer because he's allergic to wine, and he probably has about five cups of coffee a day. He is well-respected by people in his field, and more importantly, respected by the people who work under him.

I have learned a lot about what it means to be a leader from my father, and what it means to be a real teacher. Being a teacher isn't about always being right; in fact, sometimes it means being wrong. It isn't necessarily about helping people, either. It's more about turning on the light in the room so they can see in the dark. In fact, when teachers get caught up in the "I'm right and you're wrong" game...they should probably think about quitting.

I'm already utilizing a lot of what my dad has taught me in being a nanny. In taking care of children I use some simple techniques I learned from my mother (as far as keeping them busy and entertained goes) and some complicated teaching techniques I learned from my father. Basically, I use the same "processing" methods a teacher would use in a classroom, which lets the kids I care for tell me what they've learned. It reinforces the lesson and improves their memory--even if the activity doesn't seem to be about learning something, there is usually a lesson involved, and that's how it always was in my home. I'll do the same thing when I'm a parent--education in my house never ceased, and I think I'm better off because of it.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Infinite_Loser

My dad is ummm... Hell, I don't know where that deadbeat is. He left me, my mom, two brothers and sister a few years back because, apparently, we embarrassed him.

1.) I guess he's hardworking and all that mumbo-jumbo. I really wouldn't know.

2.) I don't have a relationship with him for obvious reasons.

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I believe in equality; Everyone is equally inferior to me.

ozahs

My Dad...

Born in a sod hut on a farmstead, they moved in to a wood frame house in the '20s but he never had electricity or indoor plumbing till going to college. Dropped out and enlisted in the army in 1943. He was glider infantry, walked into the bulge near Bastogne on December 24, 1944. There were 58 other guys in his platoon, he and 4 others walked out on Feb 7, 1945. The rest were either killed, injured, or had frostbite. He flew over the Rhine in a glider on March 24, 1945, and received the "million dollar wound" the next day. His unit was beginning to prepare for the invasion of Japan when the bombs were dropped. He had recouperated back in the states, and would have been involved in the airborne invasion. I am thankfull he did not have to, as the odds were he would not have survived.

He finished working his way through college, with degrees in accounting and law. Ended up a clinic manager, and served 4 terms as a state legislator. He's still active in state politics and business stuff, and is very active for an 85 year old. The last decade or so I've had the privledge of accompanying him to his 17th Airborne reunions all over the country.

He's the most honest, generous, and decent man I know. While he was working, though, the stress really got to him, and he could have a short fuse at home. These days it is pretty hard to get him angry. I'm really proud to say he's my dad.

His patience and sense of fairness are two qualities that have helped me the most when dealing with my own kids. I only wish I would have inheirited at least half his intelligence.

It is always sad to me to hear others say their dad was a bum or a jerk, I wish you could all say you had/have a great relationship with the old man. Personally, I've been blessed, and I appreciate it.

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"It ain't no sin to be glad you're alive"

Sho Nuff

My father is quiet and firm with a bad temper but one of the most loving and sincere people I have ever met. He was hands off and let me be who I was, but a little too much when I was young so I learned bad habits from bad influences. As a father I would want to find that middle ground that encourages a child to think for itself but teaches good habits.

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I know Nietzsche doesnt rhyme with peachy, but you sound like a pretentious prick when you correct me.

analog

My dad's a relatively quiet guy- not antisocial or shy, he's just not a big talker. Very smart. Loves sci-fi but isn't a nerd/geek about it. And perhaps most importantly, he values comedy. Because of him, I grew up with a very well-rounded exposure to different styles of comedy. He'd show me old Laurel and Hardy, Keystone Cops and Three Stooges, he introduced me to Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, and other british comedy in general. I'd see (old) stand-up routines from robin williams, richard pryor- pretty much anyone who has ever done good comedy. We also sat down and watched SNL a lot in the late 80's and early 90's. He's the reason my sense of humor is so versatile, and my knowledge base so wide and varied.

He was never the one who yelled at my brother and I as kids, that was my mom- except when it came to grades. He was very stern about grades in school. I can remember the only time he's ever really raised his voice, was because I got a C in a class and he found out it was because I wasn't really even trying. He said if i'd been trying my best and still got a C, he'd understand that some things are just difficult to learn... but the fact that I didn't even do the work and got a C... that was unconscionable.

As a very young child, we used to play games at night before sleep. Some kids got stories read to them, and we did when we were super little, but starting around 1st grade or so, he started playing a riddle game with us. he called it "secret code". We played it every night for years. As time went on, the "secret code" game would get harder and slightly more complex.

I go to my first algebra class in 6th grade, and what do I find out? He'd been feeding us fucking algebra equations for over 5 years! lol I'm sitting there in class, thinking "motherfucker..." to myself as the teacher starts teaching us the same shit i've been doing in my had as FUN for years and years. I go home with my first worksheet from class, with things like "2x=4, find x" all over it, and slapped it down on the table. "Secret code? SECRET CODE???" I said, flabbergasted that he'd been sneaking us knowledge and LEARNING under the guise of fun. My mom couldn't stop laughing all night.

He's a truly great guy. If I were going to have kids (I'm not), I'd be a lot like him as a parent.

slimshaydee

My dad is a drunken asshole who uses his fights first and asks questions later. If I were raised by him and only him then I'd have no doubt i'd be in jail or dead by now. He's going to end up a bitter old loner just like his mother. Every day I rue the fact that I have some of his qualities. I've been known to lash out over the smallest things, something I picked up from that asshole. I haven't even spoken to the guy for a year and a half and I live in the same house as him.

There's deffinately a lot of anger built up in me about him as you can tell.

shesus

My mom always says that I look like her, but act like my dad. So although I'm not going to be a dad...well have kids at all...I'd probably be like him.

My dad and I aren't too close though. I think he has trouble forming real relationships while he's great at forming superficial ones. He can start a conversation with anyone, anywhere as long as they speak english and learn something about them. However, when it comes to family, he barely says a word. Ever since we got internet in 1996, he has been drawn to it and chat rooms. He's had some on-line/real life affairs using this medium. Although they didn't last because he could never leave my mom and I honestly don't think he can have a real relationship with anyone.

He and I have the same luck with jobs. He got laid off and changed jobs a lot when I was young. He finally gave up working for the man and started his own business which is barely making money, but my mom and he keep it going until he can no longer do it.

He's only cried twice that I know of and the first time I saw him cry he kicked me out of the room and said that I should not see it because it's weakness and we are strong people. He always told me when I was a little girl crying makes you sick. So because of that I feel that I am stubborn when it comes to expressing emotion of any kind.

As for parenting, he was great when I was younger. He is a kid at heart and loves toys. So I had many racetracks and block sets and a chemisrty sets. He would play with me for a long time and we had a lot of fun. We would go hiking a lot and play football. Then I got older and turned into a teenager and he pretty much became hands-off. He didn't know how to handle me. I remember one time coming home crying because a guy had dumped me and he said...shit happens, stop crying and get over it. He hated my attitude and I often had objects flying at me when I would talk back. The worst was a huge remote control for the TV.

I have seen myself be impatient like this with Alcina in the past (she is now 16). I think that I would be a lot like that as a parent overall but without the flying objects. I would want my child to be strong, independent, and friendly which is what my dad taught me.

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Whatever did happen to your soul?
I heard you sold it

Choose Heaven for the weather and Hell for the company

sadeianlinguist

1) Eating disordered, bossy, easily angered, generous, tends to hold things over your head, fitness oriented, intelligent, animal-loving, mentally ill, physically disabled, hard-working.

2) Definately his generous spirit and his idea that the kids come first.

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If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

Sultana

Birth father: Don't know much. Don't even know where he is--he literally moved and didn't tell me where. I never lived with him. After he and my mom split up when I was one, I saw him maybe 10 times after that. Didn't pay child support. Was a part-time musician. Don't know what he did for a day job. Lived with his mom when he wasn't married to any of his wives. My mom and he were HS sweethearts.

Adopted father (married my mom, legally adopted me @ age 5):
Cons - Dominating. Controlling. Horrifying temper. Emotionally abusive. Suicidal. Addictive personality.

Pros - Incredibly hard worker. Decent manager. Good cook.

I don't plan to have children, and have been successful at that goal. I guess I'd like to pass on his work ethic to future generations of others, for the most part.

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"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath.
At night, the ice weasels come." -

Matt Groening

My goal? To fulfill my potential.

pocon1

nothing to say

Prince

My father worked as a train driver for years. Seemingly simple, but in Finland it was a relatively respected job that required a lot of training, skill and was hard to get into. The hours and the constant flow of people killing themselves on the tracks really got to him (Finland was number one in the world suicide statistics for years, and I guess throwing yourself at a train is a cost-effective way to die). He started drinking more as I was in my teens, and by the time I got my driver's license he was getting to be quite the drunk. He would have me drive him around to bars, sleep in the car while we drank, and then drive him back home. This did not bother me immensely at first, because I didn't have any friends and had nothing better to do really, and he paid handsomely for my time. However at some point he started having me drive him over to women's houses, including his best friend's wife's place (they were separated), driving him back home and then lying to my mother about where he had been. She knew, though. Not something I wanted to do, but growing up under his fist and his explosive fuse, you just didn't ask questions when he wanted you to do something.

Things went downhill from there. He got into booze more heavily, even into drugs for a short while. We did the intervention thing and stuff. Waved his gun around some. I always thought they'd find him dead one morning. I didn't want any of that to happen, but I was trying to finish school and had problems of my own.

Eventually the railroad company (owned by the government) decided to step him up to a management position, as I am sure they picked up on his boozehounding and couldn't have him driving trains, obviously. But the National Railroads is not an institution which just kicks your ass out, they rarely train and hire new people and don't fire you unless absolutely necessary. That didn't slow him down all that much. He apparently stopped doing the drugs thing, but had already wasted about 60 grand from the bank account of the car repair company he owned with his brother, my uncle. My uncle ended up buying his ass out to save the company, which was my uncle's only livelihood and he'd been building the company from day one for 10 years.

I don't know what or how he is doing now. I live in America, he lives back in Finland. I should call him, but I haven't. I haven't spoken to him in about a year and a half. Just don't know how to talk to him, I guess.

When he's sober, he's very witty and funny, and a generous person. I know he loves me and all that...we just never really connected. If he hadn't worked his ass off the way he did when we were kids, and provided us with all the damn stuff, ya know, mopeds, computers, gaming consoles, this and that... Then I guess I wouldn't have much respect left for him. But I feel like he did his best, I mean he became a father when he was 17-18, very young, but he provided for his kids.

I guess now that I think about it, I should give it some more thought. All of it, really...and what happens next. He still has 20-30 years ahead of him, provided he keeps off the booze and doesn't do anything stupid. Am I going to not talk to him for those 20 years?

I hadn't thought about it.

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Who is John Galt?

Warlock!

My dad is a great dude. Worked hard on a farm during his early years, got married, went into the army, fought for everything he thought was right in WWII (received a Purple Heart), came home, and started making babies. He had 5 kids (I'm the youngest by FAR). Two of the five were retarded (no... not me ). One died when she was two years old, the other is my second oldest sister at 53 years old. My pop started his own business in 1950 doing construction and turned it into a VERY profitable business and set his family up very well. My youngest sister (12 years older than myself) and I run the business now and it's still paying off for our families. Dad (now 84) still comes into teh office every day and straightens us out

He was a strong leader in the community, in his church, and for our family. If I could have any of his traits I wish I could inherit his willingness to work. Dude is irreplaceable. I was much closer to mom growing up, I guess cause dad thought it was her job to bring up the family and his job to provide. He did all he could to make our life easier, at the expense of being very close with his children. Although I'm much closer to my kids than he ever was with me, I know he always did all he could to make sure I didn't have to worry about where my next meal was gonna come from or how I would keep warm.

My dad rocks.

c172g

This is almost like therapy!

My dad was a great guy. I was a "surprise package", so my dad was 44 when I was born, and within a few years smack in the middle of starting up & trying to make profitable a new company. He was always the type who worked his ass off at anything he did and absolutely had no use for anyone who didn't.

Anyway, I learned a lot of things from him that I want to instill on my kids. I also learned a lot of things from him that I don't.

My older brother got to have my dad coach his ball teams & hockey. By the time I came around, dad was busy starting up a new business & didn't have time to do that with me. There were a lot of things like that. It wasn't like I never saw him, he was around the house a lot, but he was also very busy & traveled frequently on weekends to trade shows. The biggest thing I remember doing with my dad with regularity was duck hunting. I still go out to the spot we hunted together for years when I want to feel like I'm close to him. That place was always our bond & always will be. I take my son out there (he's three) every father's day, because I like to think Grandpa gets a better look at him when we're there.

I'd like to think I have my father's drive to do things right & am a good worker. I do take time with my kids because I realize someday I'll be gone & they'll be sitting here, in the same spot I get to sit, due to the fact that Grandpa worked his butt off & came up with a successful business that keeps his three kids enjoying a comfortable lifestyle.

So, my trade off was to spend more time with him, or enjoy the business that he worked so hard to develop. As I said above, he left it to us kids, and things have gone very well for us. None of us are millionaires, but we are all comfortable & have what we need. I think about what I might be doing if dad took more time with me & didn't develop the company as he did. I'd be in a very different position, and life would in general be very, very different.

I miss him every day, thank him for what he did for all of us, & look forward to my next trip to our duck hunting spot.

ratbastid

My father is an amazing guy. He's brilliant and funny and charming and fun. I've told him before and will tell him again: a lot of what I like about myself, I know I got from him.

He and I started our own businesses at about the same age, and he's had a great deal of success at it. He's amazing at creating relationships with people. The industry he's in is full of slightly sleazy people and sleazy dealing. He's a beacon of integrity, and everyone in his business circle becomes a friend before long.

As a teenager, I tested him a lot. And there were times I tried his patience beyond the breaking point. To his credit, while sometimes got punished, I was never left with resentment for him. He always had his eye on the relationship that he was standing for having with me, and the life he wanted me to have, and I never doubted that for a minute.

Gilda

1. My father is racist, sexist, homophobic, and has often exhibited a great deal of religious intolerance, particularly when it comes to Jews, Muslims, and many Protestant groups. He's authoritarian, believing himself to be the ultimate authority on everything that happens in his home from dating to political matters.

He's also hard-working and supportive of those of his children who meet his narrowly-defined standards for how a good child should be and act. He's charming with those outside the family and a skilled manipulator who can not only convince people to do what he wants them to do, but also think that it's their idea.

He's a wonderful father if you're straight, conservative, fit neatly into expected gender roles, aren't too ambitious, and don't dare to disagree with him.

2. There is very little I want to carry over from my relationship with my father to my relationship with my children. I'll be happy if they never have any contact whatsoever with him, and they'll certainly be better off as a result.

He does make for a nice guideline in another way: In a difficult situation, all I'll have to do is think of what he would do, and do the opposite.

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I'm against ending blackness. I believe that everyone has a right to be black, it's a choice, and I support that.

~Steven Colbert

abaya

Oh, this is one hell of a thread... wow. Very powerful stuff. I'm gonna have to come back and answer the questions with the energy they deserve (well, that my dad deserves), in a couple of days.

But for now, let me just say that my dad (actually my stepdad, but he's never been other than DAD to me) wept all through my wedding day a few weeks ago... from happiness more than anything. He has always been so happy to see me happy and doing well, never considering himself and his own needs when it came to being my dad. And yet he is so totally human, more than just about anyone I know... very aware of, and honest about, his shortcomings. I have always valued his frankness and inability to pretend to be anything other than who he is, even if he wasn't always proud of it. But he is always proud of me, even when I don't deserve it. I never felt more humbled to be called his daughter than I was on my wedding day; it was a double joy to celebrate my new marriage, as well as to call to everyone's attention the man who raised me. I hope I can pass on so many of his qualities to my own children.

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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Intense1

1. My dad was the most intelligent man I've ever met, even though he only finished schooling at a 9th grade level (his teacher told the class they had to bring a quarter the next day to school and was derisive when he told her his parents didn't have it; he quit.) He taught himself via books - his passion was reading, particularly history, and darned if his wasn't the easiest Christmas gift of all - just get him a book about Thomas Jefferson or Abe Lincoln, perhaps the writings of Abigail Adams. He read all of our history textbooks when we brought them home. When he died, he was researching the Lewis and Clark Expidition. I think he secretly had a crush on Sacajaweah. (sp?)

He was an Auto-Diesel mechanic. He worked hard and provided for his family, no matter what the challenge. He took delight in the little things - going on walks with my mom, looking at the birds in the trees. He got my mom binoculars for an anniversary present one year. She still has them.

He was harsh when I first told him I was meant to be a missionary amongst the Japanese, as he was in WWII. After a few years, he found faith in God and then began asking me how my Japanese friends were. He was able to change, even as an old man. He became more tender, and even wiser.

2. I am pretty much past the years of having kids, but I've tried to model a lot of what my dad taught me in how I led my staff over the years. I've tried to model constant learning, show the joy in the simple. To help them understand that a job is worth doing well. I think it stuck.

He was the best man I've ever known.

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(none yet, still thinkin')

sasKuach

My dad is a badass.

When I was 6 or so, in Communist Romania, there wasn't any food or anything, so he said "fuck this" and defected. He risked his life crossing the border, swam across the Danube with just the clothes on his back and a knife, making his way to Greece eventually where he worked his ass off for 2 years to make enough money to come here (the U.S. of A.). Then he worked his ass off here to bring my mother and I over. Afterwards, both my parents worked their asses off and are now tons better off because of it. I have them to thank for where I am now.

OzOz

My dad should never have had kids.

He is a VERY hard worker and while I was growing up he was always struggling hard to avoid bankruptcy, due to a situation caused by a couple of employees. As a provider, given what he had to work with, he was magnificent. He could also be a great guy to his friends, which led my school counsellor to tell me, "Don't be ridiculous. Your parents wouldn't do something like that. They're nice people!" when I told him what was happening at home.

As a father he was a child basher. My brother was the favourite who could do no wrong - to the extent that I got yelled at for crying when my brother took a running jump at me and deliberately kicked me in the mouth, just because he felt like it. (I was eleven at the time; my brother was six - he didn't get punished at all.) I was not allowed to cry or be upset about anything at all, and often had to hide under the house for a couple of hours after school as I was bullied relentlessly but couldn't take the risk of my parents seeing me unhappy. I am not aware that my father ever did so much as raise his voice at anyone for hurting me, whereas he always showed great concern about how I treated others (or rather, how he imagined I treated them). I was often bashed at my brother's say-so, as any arguments between us had been decreed to be automatically my fault. He would often take things I said way out of context, no matter how positive, and turn them around and throw them back at me in a way that was designed to make me feel really small, really stupid and really worthless, and I never knew when he was going to do it.

My dad is a good deal more supportive now, or makes some sort of effort to be, but frankly when I hear him say that he loves me, he almost may as well be reading me the phone book - it would mean as much.

What would I take into my own relationships with my children (if I ever have any)? What is there that's worth taking?

Analog, that "Secret Code" anecdote of yours is a classic!

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Maybe you should put some shorts on or something, if you wanna keep fighting evil today.

Redjake

Usually, people say their Dad is a badass because he told off the high school principal or some shit. But man, your dad really is a badass. Seriously.



And Analog, I definitely laughed out loud at the secret code algebra thing. That's ingenious.

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Off the record, on the q.t., and very hush-hush.

slimshaydee

Now that'd called being a good father. What a great man.

Wilkerson

It's been more than 40 years and I no longer dwell on thoughts of dead old dad. He was a decent person in his own right; but, was dead before I got a chance to really know him so I never set my life along a pathway connected to how he had lived.

josie

My Dad is my rock of gibraltar. He's just the greatest guy. He can be surly and impatient and a stubborn cuss, but beneath and below all of that is this sweet person who doesn't always know how to show it because he was raised in a place and time when it wasn't okay for a man to be "sweet" and show it, but I know he'd do anything for me, and I'd do anything for him.
When I was about thirteen and skinny and flat-chested all pimply with thick glasses and this guy I liked had rejected me, he looked me right in the eye when I was crying and said, "You have a pretty face and a kind heart. I promise you, someone will love you someday." And I believed him.
He made me show him that I could change a tire before he'd let me take my driver's test.
He's a born again, politically conservative, career big business guy, but he's spent his retirement years as the executive director of a charity that delivers food and clothes to people in need - and his spare time driving single moms to medical appointments for their children.
He was on To Tell the Truth twice because they needed someone with a Texas accent and he got the most votes as Lyndon Johnson's dog trainer and the creator of the World's best chile recipe, although he was just another business executive commuting to Manhattan everyday.
This is someone who would never even mention the word "sex" in front of me, but now he's got prostate cancer and talks to me about Depends (he tells me he's bought them just in case, but hasn't had to use them) and impotence.
What will I do when he's gone - I don't know. I can't stand to think about it. But he more than anyone else in my life has taught me what it means to "be there" for the people in my life.

Thanks for starting this thread. What a wonderful way to see out the year-paying homage to someone who's been everything to me.