Dungeon_Shade

Well, now that I'm getting out of my shell, I'm meeting some people that I don't like very much. I know, I know, I'm supposed to ignore them, but I'm not going to avoid the things I like to do, just because they are around. It's a constant thing though. I never say anything, don't get all offended, and I just ignore the person. However, there's gonna be a point when it starts to destroy my cred, because people are beginning to listen to this guy. Do I tell him off? I don't want to get in a fight, but at the same time, I don't want to be a pussy.

Thanks for all the help, guys, it has helped a TON.

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"If you can hear this whispering you are dying."- Pink Floyd

Gilda

A little more context would help. Where are you when this happens? What is the other person doing that bothers you? Why is your not engaging him causing a problem?

Not engaging someone who is annoying seems to be a reasonable response. Without more detail as to why he seems slighted, it will be difficult to know what should be done.

Gilda

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Dungeon_Shade

Good point, Gilda. He keeps walking up to me and saying that I am gay, and he has put his hands on my face, squeezes on my head, wipes his hands on my shirt, and says, "eew, I got acne on me." Pretty damn disrespectful, if I might say. He also keeps telling me to pop my zits. Normally, I would probably blow up, but I dunno if that would be weak or not. I don't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he's pissing me off, but there is a point when one should stand up for themselves. I'm just not sure of what actions I should take. Normally, I wouldn't be too mad about the fag comments or the acne comments, because I'm neither gay, nor have an extreme case of acne, but the grabbing part is really irking me. I would love to punch the guy in the face, but I'm afraid of releasing all my pent up anger. He's one of those annoying little-man syndrome types.

Or perhaps it's time to stop asking for advice, and just man up to the little dude, and see what goes from there. If I am to grow, I need to make my own decisions, instead of constantly asking for advice.

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"If you can hear this whispering you are dying."- Pink Floyd

Ustwo

How...odd, are you sure you arn't in highschool and trying to get around the 18 year age requirement by saying you are in college? This seems way to much like a highschool thing.

I believe that violence has a place, and personally this is one of those places. I would warn him that if he doesn't shut the fuck up and stop touching you, you will beat the crap out of him. If that doesn't stop him proceed to hurt him a little.

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Gilda

There's nothing wrong with asking advice. It's still your decision to make.

His putting hands on you is not acceptable, and you should not put up with it. Ignore the comments as best you can, but do not let him put his hands on you any more. Remove them firmly and tell him that that is not acceptable. Don't make threats or escalate things, just set up a firm and clear boundry. What he's doing is assault, and you don't have to put up with it. Take a firm stand now. Be prepared just in case he wants to escalate, and be prepared for his probably making comments about your being oversensitive if it doesn't get more physical, but do not let him put his hands on you when you don't want them there.

Don't try to start a fight, avoid a physical confrontation if you can, but don't let him get away with this. He does not get to put his hands on you without your permission.

And, to go along with Ustwo, this does seem very strange for college. I went to college for close to a decade and teach at one now, and this sounds more like jr. high antics than college to me.

Gilda

__________________
I'm against ending blackness. I believe that everyone has a right to be black, it's a choice, and I support that.

~Steven Colbert

Impetuous1

Hmm...that does seem to be rather strange behavior for someone in college. But anyway, my advice is this. Perhaps you should mention that for someone who claims you are gay that he sure seems to be obsessed with you (someone who he thinks is gay). After you say that, he'll do either one of two things. He'll laugh or he'll take a swing. Personally, I would kick his ass. Just make sure he takes the first swing. With guys like this, telling them they need to back off, etc usually doesn't work. Just my 2 cents.

That being said, I actually had a roomate someone like that in college. Not as mean. But she was a definite bitch and liked to badmouth me in front of others for some reason. She never did it in front of me though. I just heard about it second hand. Looking back on it, I wish I had kicked her ass instead of being a complete wimp about the whole thing.

match000

If you are in college, and even if you are in highschool, tell him to grow up. Nuff said. And if he still touches you, well, you don't put up with that crap.

Dungeon_Shade

I'm a sophomore in college, twenty years old, and the kid is a Freshman. The reason he's so immature is that it's in the theatre department. You get alot of immature goofballs in the field. Anyhow, it seems like everyone else is getting really tired of this guy, really fast. He keeps touching everyone and has little or no personal space. People are beginning to ignore him (I had to deal with him for six hours today), and he's beginning to take the hint. However, if he does do it again, I'm gonna be the first guy to stand up to his "antics".

Ugh. I really regret going to a small town community college.

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"If you can hear this whispering you are dying."- Pink Floyd

Sultana

Set your boundaries, and then enforce them. Tell him, without drama or emotion, "Do Not Touch Me." Then pay attention when he's close enough to touch you, and if he starts, cut him off at the pass. Do not allow him to make you angry, and do not allow him to touch you. Don't back up, make him back away. Take back control of your space.

You can start it as a mild joke, to give him the opportunity to not look like an ass ("Dude, back up, you're invading my space" with a little chuckle), but when he pushes foreward, as you know he will, drop the smile and say "Seriously, act like an adult and make some space"). It will take some practice, don't worry about striking the perfect balance on the first try. The important thing is to do it, and TAKE BACK YOUR SPACE in a calm and quietly confident manner. If he reaches for you, grab his arm, hard enough to hurt a little, look him dead in the eye and say "Do Not Touch Me."

Please keep us updated on your progress.

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At night, the ice weasels come." -

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