ASU2003

Who has more friends and relationships, people who spend their income or people with the same income level who save 30%-50%?

Is it totally dependant on personality, or is it easier to have an approachable personality if you are dressed nice and drive a nice car/live in a nice house/live in a nice part of town. I'm sure appearance comes in to it as well, but if you are spending the money, you can always get cosmetic surgery (if you need it).

Do people who spend more money become friends with people who also appear successful or are successful?

Is it better to have some savings, but live it up to the most of your income and appear that you are doing very good. Or is it better to play it safe and save 30% and be a millionaire in your late 40s, but have lived a life where you played it safe and passed up on some fun things.

Back in college, I became friends with a guy whose family was worth millions, and I was worth nothing, but I looked 'ok'. My dress shirt might have been 5 years old and bought at Sears, and he could have gone out and bought a new designer one whenever. But, we had a bunch of other things in common, so the money difference never really came up. He drove an Infinity and lived in north Scottsdale, AZ. I drove a 6 year old Saturn, that wasn't bad and got me around, and lived in an apartment with roommates. So from this perspective, it seems like it didn't matter. But when you consider that he has 20 times more friends then I do. I ask myself, is it easier to make friends when you look wealthy? I don't know his bank account balance, he might be in debt for all I know, and people don't really ask how much money you have in your 401k and investment accounts when they first meet you, but do they notice the car, clothes and house and estimate your net worth based on those things?

ratbastid

There may be people who hang around you when you're wealthy, but that doesn't make them friends.

In the words of Mr. Fred Rogers:

"It's you I like.
The way you are right now,
the way down deep inside you,
Not the things that hide you
Not your toys
they're just beside you.
But it's you I like."

SecretMethod70

Anyone who is more likely to be friends with me because I look or act wealthy isn't someone I feel is worth being friends with in the first place. That simple.

Right now, it takes about $1 million to retire comfortably. Who knows how much will be needed by the time I'm at a retirement age. Personally, I'd like to not have to work into my 70s.

One can "save as much as you can" and still look decent and respectable.

__________________
Le temps détruit tout

"Musicians are the carriers and communicators of spirit in the most immediate sense." - Kurt Elling

sapiens

When I initiallly considered your question, I thought, "Of course, wealth doesn't matter when making friends." However, if you consider the full spectrum of wealth, I think that wealth, or the appearance of wealth, may be important to most people. (I doubt that people consider the desitute as potential friends or partners).

That said, I don't think that the appearance of wealth is as important as the appearance of having your shit together (knowing what you want, having goals, working toward those goals, etc.).

Toaster126

Wealth is almost not important.

It affects things when people can't do activities that the spenders can.

__________________
"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

snowy

I think, in terms of money (and most other things), moderation is key. Save some, spend some. You've got to live in the now, make it worth living without sacrificing your future.

Personally I prefer to be friends with people about the same income level as I am--it just makes it easier. Too poor and they begrudge you the things you have been given and the things you've worked for; too rich and they make you feel bad about not having enough to spend the way they do. This is how it seems to work for girls, at least.

__________________
If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Rodney

The appearance of wealth only matters if you want to have wealthy friends!

You can save nearly all your money and still keep yourself decently clothed and groomed. If you saved all your money and went around looking like a bum, that'd be something else. To a degree, people see a reasonable appearance as a sign of self-respect. If you have the ability present yourself decently, but don't bother, they'll think there's a piece missing. But "decent" isn't the same as expensive or flashy.

How can you have it both ways? Pay for quality -- and then make it last. Buy a quality coat that'll last you ten years; a quality suit or sportcoat that'll last 10 years, and can be let out; a quality car that'll last 15; quality shoes that can be resoled several times. And then take care of these possessions: keep 'em shined, cleaned, and polished. You'll save money and look more than respectable. And people who know how you live will actually admire you for it. This is the way people used to live before we started getting everything dirt cheap from overseas, and began throwing things out instead of maintaining them.

Among the upper classes, there are people who've been raised to wealth yet lost most of it. But by following above rules, they still fit in with their old comperes. In the upper crust, it's call "keeping up appearances," and it is respected.

macmanmike6100

if you're saving 30-50%, that's impressive. but i think it can be done both ways; just because you're saving doesn't mean that you have to sacrifice the finer pleasures of life.

I like the comment on quality: even though a lot of people scorn spending hundreds of dollars on good shoes/shirts/etc., what they're missing is the fact that, if played well, you can get things that will last you a few years.

re: friends, not sure what you're asking; I don't think the number of friends really counts...quality, I think, does. when you display a lot of money (or power!), everybody wants to be your friend...that's obvious...but weeding out the wheat from the chaff is the more difficult part, but is quite worthwhile.

re: upper classes, it's easy to say that they "lose" it but wealth retention is actually quite higher among upper class individuals than middle or lower class (look who has more appreciating assets, for example)...read <a href="http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0LaRWR7Co1ES9MAZlVXNyoA;_ylu=X3oDMTB2cXVjNTM5BGNvbG8DdwRsA1dTMQRwb3MDMQRzZWMDc3IEdnRpZAM-/SIG=12n5757au/EXP=1150180347/**http%3a//www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0671015206%3fv=glance">The Millionaire Next Door</a> for more.

Rodney

True. But there are people who have been raised in well-to-do families, went to the right schools, made all the right connections, yet never did so well. But they talk the right talk and know the right people, so as long as look presentable they still click in the appropriate social scene. I'm not talking wealthy entrepreneurs so much as New England/Episcopalian Ivy League, where old family connections are as important as $$$ in the upper crust. I know one of those guys -- he's driving a cab, but he still hobnobs with the old social networks in a spiffy blazer. And his old buds _know_ he's driving cab.

Helpher811

ok, people are gonna be sick of me saying it, but I do believe:

1.Decide on a Goal.
2.Work on it mercilessly.
3.Reap rewards through wealth and experience.

i think it's more likely to find true friends when they know you are willing to be true. and you'll probably find out if they are.
and it ain't easy. it never should be.