CSflim

1. You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.

2. The new girl in my office is a real beauty, and a stripper too, I invited her over for dinner on Friday.

3. While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover.

4. Bar food again! Kick ass.

5. I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girlfriend has class.

6. That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool, I'm gonna go over and talk to her.

7. Let's just leave the toilet seat "up" at all times, then you don't have to mess with it anymore.

8. I've decided to buy myself a boob job. How big do you want'em?

9. It's only the third quarter, you should order a couple more pitchers.

10. Honey, come here! Watch me do a Tequila Shot off of Stephanie's bare ass.

11. My mother is going to take care of the tab, so order another round for you and your friends.

12. I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it again.

13. Damn! I love when my pillow smells like your cigars and beer.

14. You are so much smarter than my father.

15. If we're not going to have sex, then you have to let me watch football.

16. Are you sure you've had enough to drink?

17. I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.

18. You're so sexy when you're hung over.

19. I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.

20. Let's subscribe to Hustler.

21. I'll be out painting the house.

22. I love it when you ride your Harley, I just wish you had more time to ride.

23. Honey, our new neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again, come see!

24. No, No, I'll take the car to have the oil changed.

25. Your mother is way better than mine.

26. Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's Day thing and buy yourself something.

27. Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don't you retire.

28. You need your sleep ya big silly, now stop getting up for the night feedings.

29. Look! My ass is fatter than yours!

30. Let's get rid of my friends and keep all of yours.

__________________

HunterDevourer

Hahaha very nice.

__________________
Viva La Muerte

KellyC

You'd have to point a gun in their head plus all the diamonds in the world in order to make them even think about these thoughts....

__________________
Him: Ok, I have to ask, what do you believe?
Me: Shit happens.

qtpye4u84

LOL what about if shes a Bi girl like me hehehehe.
I grew up around all brothers and a dad no mom so I'm just like a dude but with the girl body parts.

__________________
The QTpie

sillygirl

Hey now... I've said a few of those things....

__________________

Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly-Rose Franken
....absence makes me miss him more...

marz

Those are great.

edmos1

those are awesome. I need my wife to take some notes, 2, 10, 18, and 19, I am not greedy, just a couple

SixEdxMia

I've said more than a couple of those things.


Man....do my balls itch. : X

__________________
Honey,We're home.

Slauncha Man

Hardy har har. If only #8 could come true. That's the one you have to marry.

__________________
-Slauncha

Delvid

31. Yeah anal is a great idea.

tekaweni

Yeah, and then I woke up!

__________________
If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten

TM875

If I even SHOWED my girl these....


Couch for a month.






It's like camping.

__________________
"I've made only one mistake in my life. But I made it over and over and over. That was saying 'yes' when I meant 'no'. Forgive me."

bparker805

Great list but you missed

#32 Honey, I unclogged the toilet all by myself.

slimshaydee

haha, excellent

tommy thompson

muuhahahah! That is priceless! I really don't think no matter how long I live, that I will hear any of those words muttered in order!!

__________________
...a wandering soul...

Frenchie

pretty true/ lol

Modo

<b><font color=FFFF00 face="comic sans ms">Great but should I show my wife? Sometimes her sense of humor is less than...</font></b><br>
<b><font size=+2 color=FF0000 face="comic sans ms">Thanks!</font></b>

Tophat665

Actually, I've heard:
17. I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.

24. No, No, I'll take the car to have the oil changed.

And was completely floored when she said what amounted to:
8. I've decided to buy myself a boob job. How big do you want'em?

And she's said, over the years, things that add up to:
14. You are so much smarter than my father.

I love my wife.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

TwoToTango

33. There was a bug in the house. I killed
it myself.

34. Why don't you fire up the camcorder
and give me a really good facial? Then
you can show it to all your friends!

35. From now on, honey, if I don't have a
single thing to say, I'm just going to be
quiet.


If you ask me, I'd say #35 is the least
likely of all of them. I think the ability to
STFU is wired to the y-chromasome.

Rubyee

I have said some variation of these, thank you very much!

__________________
You don't know from fun.

small one

AS IF

Jaca

Seriously, I've said more than a few of these myself. I think it takes a special breed of woman. Maybe a woman who digs TFP?

denim

A woman who "digs" TFP is already special. And very unusual, in my experience.

omid

agreed.

__________________
Kick butt buzz-cut dickheads who didn't like what I said.
The good times are killing me.
Jaws clenching tight we talked all night, oh but what the hell did we say?
The good times are killing me.

Mehoni

I already use this one. Why wear a lot of clothes if nobody is visiting/you're not going out?

__________________
There seem to be countless rituals and cultural beliefs designed to alleviate their fear of a simple biological truth - all organisms eventually perish.